Swiss father's anguish: Mother won't let him say last goodbye to his dead son

[webfact]

Swiss father's anguish: Mother won't let him say last goodbye to his dead son

 

Picture: Thai Rath

 

The story of the four children who fell from a block of Ramkhamhaeng flats on Monday has become the most talked about drama of the week in Thailand.

 

Not just for the tragedy of the death of one of the children - the story is just as much about the relationship of the Swiss father who says he has been denied access to his own children and their mother who he claims is only interested in money.

 

Alex Borel,5, died on Monday after falling from the fourth floor in the night. His three elder siblings were injured two breaking their legs. Two are still in ICU. Their ages are 11, 10 and 7.

 

The father has said that a court has given him custody but the mother refuses to allow him to see the children.

 

Now she has even denied him the chance to pick up his dead son and take him to a funeral. And she won't allow him to see the other injured children in hospital.

 

She told Thai Rath that she intends to wait until the other two children are out of ICU before sorting out a funeral.

 

More details about the couple's problems have emerged with Thai Rath featuring the story in detail and the main participants all talking on TV's "Straight Talking" show.

 

Father Marcel Borel - an English teacher for many years - said he just wants to be a good father to the children.

 

He has slammed his wife and her family claiming they are only interested in money and that they are selfish.

 

"I have nothing to say to the crazy people who don't take care of my kids and kill my son", he said.

 

It was revealed earlier in the week that the children were home alone after the mother went to work a night shift. The grandparents who live on the ground floor locked them in after saying goodnight.

 

But tragedy struck when the youngest boy wanted a midnight snack and they all fell from a platform used to drain cups and plates.

 

The father told a long story about his court battle to have custody of his children which he said he won.

 

He said he was an artist then after having the first two children trained to become a teacher. But when they moved to Kheha Thani - a housing project - things went bad.

 

The area had people selling Ya Ba and his wife changed, he alleged, saying she started to lie and steal.

 

One day while he was out at work the police called to say she had been arrested.

 

He started looking after the children and would only let her see them on weekends. But after she took them away on holiday she took them away from him.

 

Money that he lent her - 20,000 baht - was not returned, he said.

 

Winning rights in court apparently changed little.

 

The wife has counterclaimed that the father hurt the children - a charge that he denies saying that he has an unblemished record teaching primary children at school for the last ten years or so.

 

He was backed up by Nawaporn Brady - a close personal Thai friend who is the wife of a mutual foreign friend. She said he has known him for ten years and has appeared by his side to explain in Thai what he has said in English.

 

Both have been in tears as they explain the situation.

 

While tears have also flowed from the grandparents and initial reports from neighbors in Ramkhamhaeng Soi 34 suggested that the children were happy and well cared for.

 

Source: Thai Rath

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2018-05-04

 

[sanemax]

7 minutes ago, webfact said:

The father has said that a court has given him custody but the mother refuses to allow him to see the children.

I have heard that they is quite usual , even if you do win a custody battle in Court , there is no system in place to implement that .

   The authorities do not go around banging on doors enforcing Court orders

[Spaniel]

The more you hear about this story the sadder it gets.      

[darksidedog]

Thailand really needs to get its house in order with child custody laws. A parent running off with the kids, leaving the one with technical custody able to do nothing to get them back, is really sad. I wish the kids the best in recovery and hope the father is somehow able to resolve this horrible situation.

I am going to hold back on my comments about the mother, to avoid having my post deleted.

[MaxLee]

Ohohoooo good luck dealing with the INJUSTICE System Thailand 

[Expatthailover]

1 hour ago, darksidedog said:

Thailand really needs to get its house in order with child custody laws. A parent running off with the kids, leaving the one with technical custody able to do nothing to get them back, is really sad. I wish the kids the best in recovery and hope the father is somehow able to resolve this horrible situation.

I am going to hold back on my comments about the mother, to avoid having my post deleted.

You could say that about any country to be honest.

[marko kok prong]

This happens in many countries,a Court orders the Father be given access but the order is worthless,as if the Mother does not comply what are they going to do,throw her in jail,no way,as generally it is usually the Mother who is the principal carer.

  The same thing happened to me and a friend of mine back in Aussie,he spent heaps of $ on Lawyers went to court multiple times,his ex wife always agreed in court to give him access,in reality every time he was to have the children,they were out,or sick,or some other excuse but if the man misses one maintenance payment he is in trouble.

  I had times when i had booked a weekend get away for the kids a place they loved,an old wood cabin in the country next to a river,only to be told on the friday when i had driven 150k to pick them up she had changed her mind, when i protested ,she held up her mobile and told me she would call the Police and say i was going to beat her and take the kids by force,when some one hates you this much there are only two ways to end it,give up as me and my friend did,or kill the woman,you end up in jail,the kids have no Mother or Father then.

 It's not fair of course,but niether is life,best just to walk away,it's hard i came here and have not been back,7 years since i last saw them.

[Wallander4]

6 minutes ago, Expatthailover said:

You could say that about any country to be honest.

Lets hear you name these countries - in my homecountry this mother would be in jail if she dont give the children to him as he won custody in court

[geriatrickid]

It would be nice if the claim of a court order  was substantiated by someone in a responsible capacity saying, yes I saw it and it exists.

 

What sticks out for me is that this man was not financially capable of caring for the children. He is living on a teacher's pittance.  I think there are some aspects of the case not mentioned.

 

What I do know is that the woman certainly is being nasty here, but she may have good reason to be that way.

[jesimps]

No apologies to the Swiss guy from the rosey specs brigade? Thought not, that'd be admitting that all Thais aren't perfect and that some farang are nice, responsible people.

[sanemax]

5 minutes ago, jesimps said:

No apologies to the Swiss guy from the rosey specs brigade? Thought not, that'd be admitting that all Thais aren't perfect and that some farang are nice, responsible people.

Although no one ever suggests that all Thais are perfect and that  all felangs are bad people , you are just making an irrelevant point 

[jenny2017]

It's very sad to watch the film, a couple of times they talk about the Swiss guy not being able to speak and understand Thai. Does that make him to  bad father?

 

But I don't really understand the father's message that he'd lent her 20 k, did she not spent the money on her kids?

 

 Did he pay for his kids? 

 

  "Money that he lent her - 20,000 baht - was not returned, he said."

 

  The mother's reaction at the hospital when she's getting louder explaining that she's out for work and all the witnesses' statements are just another sad part of it.

 

  The victims were, and still are, the kids. 

Edited May 4, 2018 by jenny2017

[Bangkokfunny]

5 hours ago, webfact said:

wife and her family claiming they are only interested in money and that they are selfish.

Sounds very Thai to me....

 

5 hours ago, webfact said:

Money that he lent her - 20,000 baht - was not returned, he said.

Wow, only 20k. The mother of my son owes me over 4M, what I'll never ever see again and counting on this as a total loss.

[jonstarjon]

What's the matter with these Thai wives who act like jumped up school kids.. Totally nuts.. Just like my wife. I am not allowed to see my kids with only Two months left to live. She says the kids don't want to see me. Of course they know what that means they are 7&11 years old, have the experience and emotional maturity to make that kind of decision and know all things wise....not. My wife's only ambition is the kids becoming her pension fund.

Edited May 4, 2018 by jonstarjon
Clarity

[HHTel]

If the guy has a court order then the police are legally bound to enforce that order.  It's quite normal for the police here to refuse as they are reluctant to get involved.  In which case, you file a complaint to the police authority.  That usually works.  It did for me.  Just make sure that the complaint is filed with the bosses and not the local police station.

[wirat69]

6 hours ago, webfact said:

He has slammed his wife and her family claiming they are only interested in money and that they are selfish.

Is that a statement of the obvious???

[robertthesculptor]

Forget the hookers, forget sex on the beach.

This is what others see. A Thailand saddly unable to actually see the needs of the children. A Thailand that does plainly just doesn't give a shit.

Come on this beautiful country and people deserve better that this. Take the kids and give to the dad. Protect the kids rights and the father's rights.

[holy cow cm]

There is no restraining order as I can see so he has every right as the legal dad to see the kids. She only has custody. But on the other hand it takes two to tango, but one of the partners may have left feet. 

[car720]

4 hours ago, marko kok prong said:

This happens in many countries,a Court orders the Father be given access but the order is worthless,as if the Mother does not comply what are they going to do,throw her in jail,no way,as generally it is usually the Mother who is the principal carer.

  The same thing happened to me and a friend of mine back in Aussie,he spent heaps of $ on Lawyers went to court multiple times,his ex wife always agreed in court to give him access,in reality every time he was to have the children,they were out,or sick,or some other excuse but if the man misses one maintenance payment he is in trouble.

  I had times when i had booked a weekend get away for the kids a place they loved,an old wood cabin in the country next to a river,only to be told on the friday when i had driven 150k to pick them up she had changed her mind, when i protested ,she held up her mobile and told me she would call the Police and say i was going to beat her and take the kids by force,when some one hates you this much there are only two ways to end it,give up as me and my friend did,or kill the woman,you end up in jail,the kids have no Mother or Father then.

 It's not fair of course,but niether is life,best just to walk away,it's hard i came here and have not been back,7 years since i last saw them.

Same here.  And it is even worse when they do all of this in the name of God as well.  They have the nerve to call us mysogonists.

[farcanell]

4 hours ago, Expatthailover said:

You could say that about any country to be honest.

Not honestly, you couldnt.

[Bangkok Barry]

7 hours ago, sanemax said:

The authorities do not go around banging on doors enforcing Court orders

 

I really don't know why Thailand has laws and courts, because the police rarely enforce the law or, it seems, the decision of the courts. And the court does nothing about it either. Really, what is the point of either body.

[Nip]

21 hours ago, darksidedog said:

Thailand really needs to get its house in order with child custody laws. A parent running off with the kids, leaving the one with technical custody able to do nothing to get them back, is really sad. I wish the kids the best in recovery and hope the father is somehow able to resolve this horrible situation.

I am going to hold back on my comments about the mother, to avoid having my post deleted.

I think Thai custody laws are fair and are not unlike most other countries in that the children's well-being is paramount and the judges are almost guardians. I suspect the father is being economical with the truth?  The mother by law has sole custody and in order for the father to have custody she must have mistreated the children and essentially signed over custody to him. And if she has broken the courts custody agreement a half decent solicitor would quickly get a court order to return the children to the father. If the mother has sole custody then as the father he is by law permitted to spend time with his children. That said it's a tragedy for all concerned no winners all losers.

[Bluespunk]

22 hours ago, Expatthailover said:

You could say that about any country to be honest.

Can you name other countries where a parent, who does not have custody of the children, is allowed to take them away from the parent who does and not face legal consequences?

[Nip]

1 hour ago, Bluespunk said:

Can you name other countries where a parent, who does not have custody of the children, is allowed to take them away from the parent who does and not face legal consequences?

Your assuming the father is telling the truth and I can vouch the general legal system in Thailand is a can of pi$$ except in the children's courts where the judges mostly act in the child's best interests. I doubt very much he has sole custody as he claims as by law the mother has that unless she is guilty of abusing them and the kids will be asked to give evidence in court. If he has sole custody its a simple matter if she refuses him access to get a court order that even the police will uphold.

[Bluespunk]

26 minutes ago, Nip said:

Your assuming the father is telling the truth and I can vouch the general legal system in Thailand is a can of pi$$ except in the children's courts where the judges mostly act in the child's best interests. I doubt very much he has sole custody as he claims as by law the mother has that unless she is guilty of abusing them and the kids will be asked to give evidence in court. If he has sole custody its a simple matter if she refuses him access to get a court order that even the police will uphold.

No, I’m not assuming the father is being truthful. 

 

I have my doubts about his version, but he may be being truthful, as the mother may be.

 

I don’t know and am not going to comment on the veracity of either sides version of events because of that. 

 

The poster I replied to implied that parents violating custody orders do not face legal consequences across the world. 

 

I want to know which countries they are referring to. 

Edited May 5, 2018 by Bluespunk
Spelling mistake

[johncat1]

I had  a similar problems with my Thai wife ( now ex )  She was always visiting a " sick Friend  " in Maesai  ( Chiang Rai ) and because I was working as a teacher I could never go with her. Eventually when I was out at work she disappeared with our daughter not even a message. It took me over 18 months to track her down  with the help of Thai friends. Her parents told me she was in Bangkok but a contact at the ID office told me she was in Maesai  and had registered there 6 months before she left me, so all carefully planned. 

I see my daughter very rarely now because so far away. But now my ex-wife has at least 5 houses and cars / trucks she has bought. I now have very little. So yes all women can be such bitches and use children as a weapon against their ex husbands   

[Nip]

15 minutes ago, Bluespunk said:

No, I’m not assuming the father is being truthful. 

 

I have my doubts about his version, but he may be being truthful, as the mother may be.

 

I don’t know and am not going to comment on the veracity of either sides version of events because of that. 

 

The poster I replied to inplied that parents violating custody orders do not face legal consequences across the world. 

 

I want to know which countries they are referring to. 

Ok understood. .... I suspect his comment was without grounds. 

[billd766]

The more I read on this story and the others, the more I get confused.

 

Sadly the children are the victims here and both parents seem to have different versions of the "truth".

[happy chappie]

On 04/05/2018 at 12:13 PM, geriatrickid said:

It would be nice if the claim of a court order  was substantiated by someone in a responsible capacity saying, yes I saw it and it exists.

 

What sticks out for me is that this man was not financially capable of caring for the children. He is living on a teacher's pittance.  I think there are some aspects of the case not mentioned.

 

What I do know is that the woman certainly is being nasty here, but she may have good reason to be that way.

He had custody before she stole them after a holiday,this tells me 99% that he was awarded custody because she used the holiday to get her hands on them.otherwise why didn't she just go to his house and take them.he seemed to be looking after the children ok,in fact better than she has done.as for finances,not all teachers are paupers as you may think.shes a nasty piece of work who's locked her children in an apartment and used them as a bargaining tool to try and demand money from him.i take it you've got loads of money and teachers live on a pittance of what you earn and no I'm not a teacher,I'm a retired bricklayer.