JohnGordon Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 Hi, hope someone here can help, I'm desperate. I've been dating a Thai woman here is Melbourne for more than a year. We hope to get married but first I need to travel to Thailand to meet her family. Her family are middle-class and live in Rayong. We planned to go last year and I bought the tickets from Melbourne to Bangkok. Problem was that I told the ex about this, she got jealous and contacted the Child Support Agency who hit me with a Departure Prohibition Order so I can't leave the country. There is a dispute with the ex over the child support debt and she is using the DPO to hurt me and for leverage in the dispute. I asked the CSA for a Departure Authorisation Certificate for a single trip to her the Thai family but the CSA knocked me back. They said that I could have a DAC on humanitarian grounds if I could prove that meeting the Thai family was essential to getting engaged or married. Any suggestions on how I could prove this, or any other ideas? 1 Link to comment
Popular Post TerryLH Posted June 12, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted June 12, 2018 9 minutes ago, JohnGordon said: Any suggestions on how I could prove this, or any other ideas? You mean besides clearing up the child support issue? 6 2 3 Link to comment
JohnGordon Posted June 12, 2018 Author Share Posted June 12, 2018 The debt is $45k. If I had it I'd pay it. The dispute is that I bought the ex a new car for $25k a couple of years ago on the basis it would be offset against the CSA debt. Then she turned around and refused to do this, saying she wanted both the car and the cash, so I stopped making CSA payments and the debt has grown to $45k 1 Link to comment
Blue Muton Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 13 minutes ago, JohnGordon said: The debt is $45k. If I had it I'd pay it. The dispute is that I bought the ex a new car for $25k a couple of years ago on the basis it would be offset against the CSA debt. Then she turned around and refused to do this, saying she wanted both the car and the cash, so I stopped making CSA payments and the debt has grown to $45k Shame about the car business but maybe you should have been puting money aside each month, in a separate account, then at least you'd have the $20k balance to offer. Link to comment
JohnGordon Posted June 12, 2018 Author Share Posted June 12, 2018 Live and you learn. I should have got an agreement in writing but made the mistake of relying on a verbal agreement. Now I'm trying to get out of this corner. Anyone with experience of Departure Authorisation Certificates? Link to comment
Popular Post BritManToo Posted June 12, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted June 12, 2018 (edited) 47 minutes ago, JohnGordon said: Problem was that I told the ex about this, she got jealous and contacted the Child Support Agency who hit me with a Departure Prohibition Order Point 1, never give a former wife any information about your life, it's not their business and they always use it to harm you (loose lips sink ships). Point 2, this gives you a great (and valid) excuse not to have a boring and probably expensive trip to your prospective in-laws. There's nothing in Rayong you want to see. Edited June 12, 2018 by BritManToo 7 Link to comment
Popular Post simple1 Posted June 12, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted June 12, 2018 29 minutes ago, BritManToo said: Point 1, never give a former wife any information about your life, it's not their business and they always use it to harm you (loose lips sink ships). Point 2, this gives you a great (and valid) excuse not to have a boring and probably expensive trip to your prospective in-laws. There's nothing in Rayong you want to see. Australian government has a border alert system to stop departure of people who haven't paid family support, so whether one informs the ex or not is irrelevant. 5 Link to comment
Blue Muton Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 40 minutes ago, JohnGordon said: Live and you learn. I should have got an agreement in writing but made the mistake of relying on a verbal agreement. Now I'm trying to get out of this corner. Anyone with experience of Departure Authorisation Certificates? Never heard of DAC's, nevertheless I hope you find a positive way out of your predicament. Link to comment
Will27 Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 1 hour ago, JohnGordon said: Live and you learn. I should have got an agreement in writing but made the mistake of relying on a verbal agreement. Now I'm trying to get out of this corner. Anyone with experience of Departure Authorisation Certificates? I've had some dealings with DPO's. In my experience, they aren't just granted overnight by CSA so the debt must've been accumulating over a decent period of time IMO. You said the car was $25 000 and the debt has now doubled so seems it's been going on for a while. My understanding is that you should make an arrangement to start paying off the debt (assuming it's correct) or you're pretty much screwed. The CSA don't always apply for DPO's, so there might not have been one in place until you mentioned to your ex your plans, which in hindsight wasn't a great idea. 2 Link to comment
JohnGordon Posted June 12, 2018 Author Share Posted June 12, 2018 Definitely agree with "loose lips sink ships" but I thought we were on good terms. The DPO came through about 4 days after I told her so it's a safe bet she made a call. I've got a repayment plan with the CSA which is upto date but still no joy getting a a DAC or the DPO lifted. At the CSA most staff are man-hating witches who seem to get an unnatural pleasure from tormenting those they come into contact with. Came across one old guy who worked there and was decent. He suggested applying for a DAC on "humanitarian" grounds. I need a reputable source to show it is essential to meet her Thai family first before getting engaged. We all know Thai culture a bit and this is not surprising to us but how do I prove it. Any ideas? 1 Link to comment
BEVUP Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 4 hours ago, BritManToo said: Point 1, It"s a shame you are trapped by a Feminist country & cannot make your own mind up about your children * I've heard you are expected to pay even when you have them for visits all worked of your Gross salary ( Go figure , you dont take that much home ) * & every time you change jobs (pending on salary ) you have to justify the difference in seeking to pay less I have no ties to Auss except still working & will never have except a Pension if they still have it or can get it. I will also not have my son in that country where they are discrimenative & capitalistic 1 Link to comment
Will27 Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 3 hours ago, JohnGordon said: Definitely agree with "loose lips sink ships" but I thought we were on good terms. The DPO came through about 4 days after I told her so it's a safe bet she made a call. I've got a repayment plan with the CSA which is upto date but still no joy getting a a DAC or the DPO lifted. At the CSA most staff are man-hating witches who seem to get an unnatural pleasure from tormenting those they come into contact with. Came across one old guy who worked there and was decent. He suggested applying for a DAC on "humanitarian" grounds. I need a reputable source to show it is essential to meet her Thai family first before getting engaged. We all know Thai culture a bit and this is not surprising to us but how do I prove it. Any ideas? What was the reason given by CSA on why they wouldn't issue a DAC for a one off visit to Thailand? I think if the CSA has not issued you with a DAC, getting one on humanitarian grounds might be a stretch. It can't hurt to apply for one I guess. Is your partner on a visa or is she an Australian resident? It might be easier getting her parents over for a visa. How old is the debt and why did you wait so long for it to blow out? What's the time frame for squaring up the debt? You could be in for a long wait to travel anywhere if you cannot get it lifted. Link to comment
simple1 Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 7 hours ago, Will27 said: What was the reason given by CSA on why they wouldn't issue a DAC for a one off visit to Thailand? I think if the CSA has not issued you with a DAC, getting one on humanitarian grounds might be a stretch. It can't hurt to apply for one I guess. Is your partner on a visa or is she an Australian resident? It might be easier getting her parents over for a visa. How old is the debt and why did you wait so long for it to blow out? What's the time frame for squaring up the debt? You could be in for a long wait to travel anywhere if you cannot get it lifted. Recently in Australian media it was reported that people who have a back debt for child support must clear the entire debt before being permitted to travel overseas at departure points. 1 1 Link to comment
JohnGordon Posted June 12, 2018 Author Share Posted June 12, 2018 The DAC was rejected on the basis that there was no provision to do so under the Act. Bringing her parents here is an option. She is on a student visa and we will do an 820 Partner visa application in the next few weeks. I know it's a stretch going the Humanitarian argument but it's the only option I can think of. Can anyone suggest a reference that substantiates it's essential to meet a Thai bride's parents? Link to comment
JohnGordon Posted June 12, 2018 Author Share Posted June 12, 2018 DAC issued on humanitarian grounds or in Australia's interests The Secretary must also issue a DAC where satisfied that: the certificate should be issued on humanitarian grounds, or refusing to issue the certificate would be detrimental to Australia's interests, and the debtor is unable (not unwilling) to provide security satisfactory to the Secretary for their return to Australia. Humanitarian grounds include compassionate grounds. The onus is on the debtor to provide evidence satisfactory to the Secretary that shows their situation meets the above requirements. Link to comment
Popular Post DoctorG Posted June 12, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted June 12, 2018 If you cannot clear your debt then you also cannot afford to fly off to Thailand, nor in fact, to get married again. 7 Link to comment
arithai12 Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 OP, why don't you invite your gf's parents over to Australia? It can't be much more expensive than the two of you flying to Thailand, will probably thrill them, and save you the trouble of meeting the extended family and bringing tons of presents. There will be the hurdle of their visas, but with a daughter living in Aus it shouldn't be too much of a problem. Assuming that when re-married you want to keep living in Australia. Good luck with your child care and ex-wife issues. Link to comment
Will27 Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 2 hours ago, simple1 said: Recently in Australian media it was reported that people who have a back debt for child support must clear the entire debt before being permitted to travel overseas at departure points. I'm pretty sure that's not the case but will gladly be corrected if wrong. Unless things have recently changed, an arrangement to pay the back debt is usually sufficient to have a DPO lifted. Of course, a lot will depend on the payment history and size of the debt. Link to comment
Will27 Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 55 minutes ago, JohnGordon said: The DAC was rejected on the basis that there was no provision to do so under the Act. Bringing her parents here is an option. She is on a student visa and we will do an 820 Partner visa application in the next few weeks. I know it's a stretch going the Humanitarian argument but it's the only option I can think of. Can anyone suggest a reference that substantiates it's essential to meet a Thai bride's parents? Perhaps your ex-wife told the CSA that you were going to flee Australia, get married and not return. A $45 000 debt is nothing to sneeze at. My experience with CSA is that DPO's are usually issued as a last resort and they try and get an payment plan in place before issuing one. TBH, you must have a pretty bad history of paying for them to issue one. Have you spoken to your case officer about increasing your payments so you can get it lifted? 1 Link to comment
1130bobs Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 Nobody understands vendictive ex's unless you've been there. I have. A verbal agreement for car in place of child support was bound to fail. Mistakes cost as much as the guy can pay. At least 25k is all you are out. My lovely china doll ex (married in Sydney) had her hands on $300k of my retirement $ & 1/2 the house, but got pissed when the temporary $2k/month child support went to 0, as I fought for & got 50% custody & placement. The system in USA is also set to funnel $ to mom. They put a claim on the $25 expense 'payments' I got for being on a hot air balloon support crew. Stopped that also. usually the more your $'s drain away to women (ex or current), the smarter you get. 1 Link to comment
wump Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 They won't let him leave the country? <deleted>... Australia has turned into North Korea. It's not like he murdered someone. 2 Link to comment
Scott Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 Troll post and reply removed. 1 Link to comment
Popular Post Will27 Posted June 13, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted June 13, 2018 24 minutes ago, wump said: They won't let him leave the country? <deleted>... Australia has turned into North Korea. It's not like he murdered someone. Yep, I agree. Being responsible for your own children's welfare.....disgraceful isn't it? 3 1 Link to comment
Popular Post connda Posted June 13, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted June 13, 2018 Children defined: Pawns to be used by vindictive parents to beat each other with. 3 Link to comment
Old Croc Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 Departure Prohibition Orders We may issue a Departure Prohibition Order if you aren't repaying your debt. It will stop you from leaving Australia until you pay your debt in full or enter an acceptable payment arrangement. We don’t need a court order to stop you from leaving Australia. Decisions you can’t object to We can’t review decisions about: changing a departure prohibition order - you can only appeal to a court We encourage you to report suspected fraud if you have information you think will help us collect unpaid child support. For example if: you know a parent with overdue child support payments plans to travel outside Australia From the Department website. Link to comment
Orac Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 1 hour ago, arithai12 said: OP, why don't you invite your gf's parents over to Australia? It can't be much more expensive than the two of you flying to Thailand, will probably thrill them, and save you the trouble of meeting the extended family and bringing tons of presents. There will be the hurdle of their visas, but with a daughter living in Aus it shouldn't be too much of a problem. Assuming that when re-married you want to keep living in Australia. Good luck with your child care and ex-wife issues. Guess the hard part of that may be explaining to future in-laws that you can't visit them as you are banned from leaving Australia due to not paying for your kids from previous marriage. 2 Link to comment
shaurene Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 16 hours ago, Blue Muton said: Shame about the car business but maybe you should have been puting money aside each month, in a separate account, then at least you'd have the $20k balance to offer. Good suggestion, you should have put the money away seperate Link to comment
scorecard Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 14 hours ago, JohnGordon said: Definitely agree with "loose lips sink ships" but I thought we were on good terms. The DPO came through about 4 days after I told her so it's a safe bet she made a call. I've got a repayment plan with the CSA which is upto date but still no joy getting a a DAC or the DPO lifted. At the CSA most staff are man-hating witches who seem to get an unnatural pleasure from tormenting those they come into contact with. Came across one old guy who worked there and was decent. He suggested applying for a DAC on "humanitarian" grounds. I need a reputable source to show it is essential to meet her Thai family first before getting engaged. We all know Thai culture a bit and this is not surprising to us but how do I prove it. Any ideas? Somehow doubt 'meet the prosprctive in-laws' would be seen as a humanitarian situation. Link to comment
lionsincity Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 wow not only has Australia turned into a awful nanny state, now it has become a draconian nightmare too. 1 Link to comment
simple1 Posted June 13, 2018 Share Posted June 13, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, Will27 said: I'm pretty sure that's not the case but will gladly be corrected if wrong. Unless things have recently changed, an arrangement to pay the back debt is usually sufficient to have a DPO lifted. Of course, a lot will depend on the payment history and size of the debt. FYI... In the first 10 months of this financial year, Departure Prohibition Orders (DPO’s) resulted in 358 people – or more than one a day - being stopped at a departure gate where they were given the choice to either pay up or turn back. https://www.mhs.gov.au/media-releases/2018-05-27-travel-bans-help-recover-child-support-debts Edited June 13, 2018 by simple1 Link to comment
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