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Enforce a drug test


CLW

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10 hours ago, shy coconut said:

You seem to be some kind of relationship expert, especially those involving the more wanton

variety of Thai females.

A bit surprising really considering that you have been married to a Sorbonne educated CEO of

Vietnamese origin for many years, perhaps even decades. 

No, the Vietnamese and I divorced amicably many years ago. I am married to an American university educated Filipina who is a retired US State government project manager.

 

However, I have  known many troubled expats and their Thai, Vietnamese or Filipina wives--most of whom were as you say, "wanton variety". Since my wife and I get along so well; many expat husbands and their SEA spouses seek our advice and opinion. 

 

Of course, common sense is applicable to most relationship problems, but little common sense seems to be used when emotions become involved.

 

A relationship has to start with respect for each other and open communication; without either your relationship may be problematic.

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15 hours ago, smotherb said:

Gee, oh benevolent one; nice dodge by the way, here I was thinking getting help for its mother would be good for the kid.

 

However, may I ask, how is taking her to the cops better thAn to the doctor?

It isn't better but how would you get her to a doctor, if she doesn't even want to talk about it?

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19 hours ago, smotherb said:

Well, I think you should read what I said.

 

Let me break it down for you. Regarding talking, I said, "If they have any sort of relationship, they should be able to talk it out; if she won't talk about it, well  . . . "  You see I believe communication is the most important element of a relationship. I guess some do not. So, I would recommend he try again to speak to her.                  

 

I suggested consulting a doctor would be preferential to going to police. If you go to police and she is doing drugs; she gets a record and maybe jail. If she is not doing drugs, you risk embarrassing her and maybe letting yourself into a pay-off.

 

Of course, if you would take her to police at the onset, you probably do not care if she goes to jail or is embarrassed.

Or you do care that’s why you go the Police route,if she is smoking that shit,then to a certain extent smoking changes the way they think and conduct them selves, it has quite an effect on some people,a positive test gives them a week in Prison,if they go through that and return to continue smoking it’s time to move on,as there ain’t much going to stop them.

Its also the life style that surrounds someone that’s smoking, the people they buy it from,the friends there smoking with as it’s pretty unlikely there doing this on there own, the secrecy, the lies and everything else that goes with it.

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1 hour ago, dasboot said:

Or you do care that’s why you go the Police route,if she is smoking that shit,then to a certain extent smoking changes the way they think and conduct them selves, it has quite an effect on some people,a positive test gives them a week in Prison,if they go through that and return to continue smoking it’s time to move on,as there ain’t much going to stop them.

Its also the life style that surrounds someone that’s smoking, the people they buy it from,the friends there smoking with as it’s pretty unlikely there doing this on there own, the secrecy, the lies and everything else that goes with it.

I don't see that as caring.  I don't give up so easily on a relationship. However, I realize that some people enter a relationship on some pretty flimsy bases.  If that is what the OP's friend  has done, sorry for all of them.

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46 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

You still have to take care of your kid.

Which is exactly why I wouldn't give-up upon her and pack her off to police. I do not know whether or not the man in question has done everything he could to help her and I doubt you do either. My point was to try other solutions before taking her to the police. There are doctors, as well as Buddhist and other organizations which specialize in drug addiction treatment.

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On 9/5/2018 at 3:11 PM, dasboot said:

Or you do care that’s why you go the Police route,if she is smoking that shit,then to a certain extent smoking changes the way they think and conduct them selves, it has quite an effect on some people,a positive test gives them a week in Prison,if they go through that and return to continue smoking it’s time to move on,as there ain’t much going to stop them.

Its also the life style that surrounds someone that’s smoking, the people they buy it from,the friends there smoking with as it’s pretty unlikely there doing this on there own, the secrecy, the lies and everything else that goes with it.

I would prefer to get her into one of the Buddhist Drug Rehab centers. Many are low-cost and rehabilitation oriented. Hardly the same experience as jail. 

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Train wreck waiting to happen.

 

Poor child!!

 

If you love the kid like your own, make an attempt to take custody when you have conclusive evidence your GF is on the goey.

 

Won't be too difficult, addicts would sell their child for some cash without a second thought!!

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Thanks for the replies so far.
My friend is coming back to Thailand in January. He will buy a quick test at home and bring it here.
Let's see how the situation has developed or escalated until then.
His girlfriend offered him already to take care of the child and take it back to his home country. But I don't think it is so good for a 3 year old to change his used environment and friends.
Probably a relative to take care in Thailand would be a better alternative.

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