Honor someone going to stay at the temple.

[Wanderer555]

Good day, 

My GF will be going to the temple for 10 days of silent meditation.

 

Is there something I can give her or do to honor her commitment?

 

I  am still learning about Thai Buddhism and would like to do the proper thing. 

 

Thank you for any positive assistance. 

[Pilotman]

Just leave her be. My wife goes for a month every year to dress in white and look after the lazy sods in the temple. I just leave her to it.  I would be a lot more impressed if the tenants of the temple spent more time helping the poor in the community instead of leaching off them every morning with their rice bowls. Good luck with your study of them mate.  I'm sure that you will be a better man for it. Live by the principles of a religion,  not necessarily  by following  the example of its adherents.  

[BobBKK]

Yea give her an Iphone to play on  lol. Look no Thai can keep quiet for 10 minutes let alone 10 days. I had a girl go on one of those and they all chat all day only broken up by an hour or two meditation when the monk is around. It's 90% BS.

Edited September 21, 2018 by BobBKK

[Wanderer555]

2 hours ago, BobBKK said:

Yea give her an Iphone to play on  lol. Look no Thai can keep quiet for 10 minutes let alone 10 days. I had a girl go on one of those and they all chat all day only broken up by an hour or two meditation when the monk is around. It's 90% BS.

Your comment is often valid, but such generalizations are not helpful, though you are entitled to your own opinions.
She has an on iPhone that she paid for herself... and currently turns it off for extended periods of time while meditating. She is attending a meditation center, not a temple and not going with a group but alone.

Maybe not like many Thai, but I have witnessed her personal resolve...
Peace...
 

[Wanderer555]

3 hours ago, Pilotman said:

Just leave her be. My wife goes for a month every year to dress in white and look after the lazy sods in the temple. I just leave her to it.  I would be a lot more impressed if the tenants of the temple spent more time helping the poor in the community instead of leaching off them every morning with their rice bowls. Good luck with your study of them mate.  I'm sure that you will be a better man for it. Live by the principles of a religion,  not necessarily  by following  the example of its adherents.  

While I can understand your cynicism regarding many at the temples, she is attending a meditation center, with a desire to further her personal growth.  Like you, she believes in supporting the poor or disadvantaged through direct donations to community aid groups. or volunteering her time. 
There are many forms of Buddhism and like many other philosophical teachings, it is usually men that come after the original teacher that corrupt it. No neophyte to Buddhism, but still learning about Thai Buddhism, I seek to understand and respect their beliefs, but that does not make them my personal beliefs or practice.

Peace...

Edited September 21, 2018 by Wanderer555

[prakhonchai nick]

Make hay whilst the sun shines☺️

[colinneil]

Wanderer555, take off your rose tinted glasses.

I have an ex who wanted to go to a temple, over 400 ks away to meditate.

When asked what temple, where is it, all i got was BS, then she finally told me, so i waited a few days, went to the temple.

Asked where is my wife, ohh she was here left 2 days ago.

Drove home, she arrived 3 days later, where have you been? At the temple she said, i went there you were not there, you went to the wrong temple.

[prakhonchai nick]

26 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Wanderer555, take off your rose tinted glasses.

I have an ex who wanted to go to a temple, over 400 ks away to meditate.

When asked what temple, where is it, all i got was BS, then she finally told me, so i waited a few days, went to the temple.

Asked where is my wife, ohh she was here left 2 days ago.

Drove home, she arrived 3 days later, where have you been? At the temple she said, i went there you were not there, you went to the wrong temple.

WAT!!!!!!!!!!   Up to a bit of monkey business I suspect ☺️

[Wanderer555]

32 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Wanderer555, take off your rose tinted glasses.

I have an ex who wanted to go to a temple, over 400 ks away to meditate.

When asked what temple, where is it, all i got was BS, then she finally told me, so i waited a few days, went to the temple.

Asked where is my wife, ohh she was here left 2 days ago.

Drove home, she arrived 3 days later, where have you been? At the temple she said, i went there you were not there, you went to the wrong temple.

Sorry for your experience.... Not all people are the same.
No rose-colored glasses here, this is a regular part of her life 3-4 days at a time with supporting evidence.

Why think so lowly of everyone because of your own experience?

 

 

[Wanderer555]

The number of negative and judgemental comments here is disappointing. 

I purposely post in the Buddhism forum to hopefully avoid the negativity and callous nature of many posts on TVF.

 

It is my belief, that should you not have anything constructive to add, leave things to those who are truly interested.

 

Peace....

[wgdanson]

2 hours ago, Wanderer555 said:

Your comment is often valid, but such generalizations are not helpful, though you are entitled to your own opinions.
She has an on iPhone that she paid for herself... and currently turns it off for extended periods of time while meditating. She is attending a meditation center, not a temple and not going with a group but alone.

Maybe not like many Thai, but I have witnessed her personal resolve...
Peace...
 

Didn't The Beatles go off to Wales and then to India to do some meditating in 1968. Their manager died in that time, and they all came back saying 'Peace & Love'with V signs. Only good to come out of it was The White Album.

[jgarbo]

6 hours ago, Pilotman said:

Just leave her be. My wife goes for a month every year to dress in white and look after the lazy sods in the temple. I just leave her to it.  I would be a lot more impressed if the tenants of the temple spent more time helping the poor in the community instead of leaching off them every morning with their rice bowls. Good luck with your study of them mate.  I'm sure that you will be a better man for it. Live by the principles of a religion,  not necessarily  by following  the example of its adherents.  

Remember that (Hinayana) Buddhism considers females unclean. That's why a woman cannot give anything directly to a monk and  why "mae chi" are pitied. Ridiculous.

Frankly, I'd suggest "Clear Thinking" meditation by the beach. All modern religions  are misogynistic. Just meditate alone.

[Pilotman]

1 hour ago, jgarbo said:

Remember that (Hinayana) Buddhism considers females unclean. That's why a woman cannot give anything directly to a monk and  why "mae chi" are pitied. Ridiculous.

Frankly, I'd suggest "Clear Thinking" meditation by the beach. All modern religions  are misogynistic. Just meditate alone.

Yea, real modern thinking. I have no time for any organised religion, however well intentioned, supposedly. 

[Pilotman]

3 hours ago, Wanderer555 said:

The number of negative and judgemental comments here is disappointing. 

I purposely post in the Buddhism forum to hopefully avoid the negativity and callous nature of many posts on TVF.

 

It is my belief, that should you not have anything constructive to add, leave things to those who are truly interested.

 

Peace....

and why is it not constructive to expose the flaws and hypocrisy in any religion?  My advice is not to post if you don't want the reaction, supportive  of your view and not so much.  I certainly like some of the sayings of the Buddha and I do try to live by most of  the principles  that Buddhism espouses, but I am not blind to the negative issues surrounding organised religion. of any colour  

[thailand49]

Just a personal observation,  nothing personal just a generalization. 

When she leaves packup and leave Dodge!

[1FinickyOne]

I think it is not the type of thing that someone expects to be complimented or congratulated or honored for... my wife would consider anything she does at and for the temple to be reward in itself... if it were me, I would just assure her that the dog will be fed and family cared for - 

[1FinickyOne]

11 hours ago, Pilotman said:

I would be a lot more impressed if the tenants of the temple spent more time helping the poor in the community instead of leaching off them every morning with their rice bowls.

They are not considered to be leaches by the people making the offerings. The monks provide an opportunity for the people to begin their day with a voluntary good deed [and doing good deeds makes people feel good] and in exchange the monks offer a blessing. 

 

One of the wonderful things about the culture is that anyone can go to the temple and the monks will share their food. They have plenty. There is no desperate poverty as in the West and there are no people eating out of garbage cans as in major cities in the west. Sure, there are probably exceptions, embarrassed drug addicts etc... 

 

I am not a Buddhist but I do see that the monks are often esteemed and provide solace for my wife and family at times of trouble. It is not important whether or not I believe, but that they, my family, find comfort in their beliefs... 

[1FinickyOne]

5 hours ago, Wanderer555 said:

Sorry for your experience.... Not all people are the same.
No rose-colored glasses here, this is a regular part of her life 3-4 days at a time with supporting evidence.

Why think so lowly of everyone because of your own experience?

 

 

you asked a valid and interesting question concerning how to do a good deed. My guess is that your wife knows you are supportive already and appreciates it and that she has the freedom to do something she wants... get her a piece of chocolate for a going away present if she would like that... 

 

but since this is TVF you will get everyone's personal experiences too... relevant or not. 

 

And so, I will throw in mine - I am sometimes accused here of wearing rose colored glasses. I just never get what the problem is with that? Viewing things in a positive light is so much more pleasant than the alternative... 

 

It sounds like you already have a nice relationship with your wife, Thailand and the world... but the rose colored glasses make the view even better... try some on one day... 

 

enjoy... 

[Enoon]

No need to do anything.

 

It is its own reward.

 

Her experience of it and the spiritual benefit it brings is what matters.

 

Just feel good for the good that her engagement with it does for her and you.

 

 

Edited September 21, 2018 by Enoon

[Enoon]

7 hours ago, jgarbo said:

Remember that (Hinayana) Buddhism considers females unclean. That's why a woman cannot give anything directly to a monk and  why "mae chi" are pitied. Ridiculous.

Frankly, I'd suggest "Clear Thinking" meditation by the beach. All modern religions  are misogynistic. Just meditate alone.

 

Buddhism in Thailand is Theravada not Hinayana.

 

Women do not touch (or have "remote" contact) with monks as that may lead to arousal of the monk and distraction away from a pure path.

 

Monks are also not supposed to touch other males except in specific circumstances.

 

Women in Buddhism - Wikipedia

"During a 2014 interview with Larry King when asked if he (the Dalai Lama) thought we will ever see a female Dalai Lama he stated "Yes! That's very possible." he recalled telling a reporter in Paris many years ago that it is possible mentioning that there are some female Lama's in history dating "...six or seven centuries ago, so it is nothing new."

Criticism of Buddhism - Wikipedia

"Sometimes in religion there has been an emphasis on male importance. In Buddhism, however, the highest vows, namely the bhikshu and bhikshuni ones, are equal and entail the same rights. This is the case despite the fact that in some ritual areas, due to social custom, bhikshus go first. But Buddha gave the basic rights equally to both sangha groups. There is no point in discussing whether or not to revive the bhikshuni ordination; the question is merely how to do so properly within the context of the Vinaya."

                                                     Dalai Lama

 

 

Edited September 21, 2018 by Enoon

[lucifer666]

My missus does this every year with her students, no big deal

[Pilotman]

On 9/21/2018 at 8:40 PM, kenk24 said:

They are not considered to be leaches by the people making the offerings. The monks provide an opportunity for the people to begin their day with a voluntary good deed [and doing good deeds makes people feel good] and in exchange the monks offer a blessing. 

 

One of the wonderful things about the culture is that anyone can go to the temple and the monks will share their food. They have plenty. There is no desperate poverty as in the West and there are no people eating out of garbage cans as in major cities in the west. Sure, there are probably exceptions, embarrassed drug addicts etc... 

 

I am not a Buddhist but I do see that the monks are often esteemed and provide solace for my wife and family at times of trouble. It is not important whether or not I believe, but that they, my family, find comfort in their beliefs... 

Most of what you say is wrong.  There is abject poverty in many Thai villages, with many having not enough to eat.  In the Cities its worse.  In my Wife's village three young kids were found picking leave off the trees to add to the school rice and that is all that they had. In an adjacent village the infant school had no water for days as they couldn't pay the water bowser to come.  The monks didn't bother to find out what was going on and didn't care much when they did ,  A good many of the monks are petty thieves and ex criminals, given a choice by the court of the Monkhood or jail.  Great!   Saying it makes people feel good to give what meagre food they often have, does not make it right, just makes it a bigger disgrace on the monks who do it. If  as you say they have plenty of food to give back, then why take it the first place.?Monks with mobile phones, why?  Monks  with laptops on aircraft, why?  Temples with multi numbers of cars that I couldn't afford , why?  My mixed race daughter , educated in the UK , has seen through them and the system and has nothing to do with them, although still retained the good elements that make Buddhism her religion of choice. 

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, Pilotman said:

as you say they have plenty of food to give back, then why take it the first place.

They distribute the food to the poor and needy.

If you turn up at meal times you will be given food.

[1FinickyOne]

2 hours ago, Pilotman said:

Most of what you say is wrong.  There is abject poverty in many Thai villages, with many having not enough to eat.  In the Cities its worse.  In my Wife's village three young kids were found picking leave off the trees to add to the school rice and that is all that they had. In an adjacent village the infant school had no water for days as they couldn't pay the water bowser to come.  The monks didn't bother to find out what was going on and didn't care much when they did ,  A good many of the monks are petty thieves and ex criminals, given a choice by the court of the Monkhood or jail.  Great!   Saying it makes people feel good to give what meagre food they often have, does not make it right, just makes it a bigger disgrace on the monks who do it. If  as you say they have plenty of food to give back, then why take it the first place.?Monks with mobile phones, why?  Monks  with laptops on aircraft, why?  Temples with multi numbers of cars that I couldn't afford , why?  My mixed race daughter , educated in the UK , has seen through them and the system and has nothing to do with them, although still retained the good elements that make Buddhism her religion of choice. 

Where I am the monks are not as you describe. There are limited instances of people doing wrong. It happens in every religion and profession. No need to be calling all of them leetches. 

 

Why shouldn't they have mobile phones? Maybe they want to call their family. Does that violate your view of piousness? As if.... does that violate your personal view of a religion you are not even part of??

[Pilotman]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

They distribute the food to the poor and needy.

If you turn up at meal times you will be given food.

so they take from the poor in one hand and give back  to the same poor with another?  Sounds very efficient  

Edited September 24, 2018 by Pilotman

[Pilotman]

11 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

Where I am the monks are not as you describe. There are limited instances of people doing wrong. It happens in every religion and profession. No need to be calling all of them leetches. 

 

Why shouldn't they have mobile phones? Maybe they want to call their family. Does that violate your view of piousness? As if.... does that violate your personal view of a religion you are not even part of??

So they take merit from the poor so that they can buy smart phones, laptops and  nice new cars and trucks;  Um.  That's my beef with all organised religion, full of hypocrisy and contradiction.   Do as I say not as I do doesn't  get you very far in life, unless you're a religious figure of course. . 

[1FinickyOne]

On 9/24/2018 at 3:39 PM, Pilotman said:

So they take merit from the poor so that they can buy smart phones, laptops and  nice new cars and trucks;  Um.  That's my beef with all organised religion, full of hypocrisy and contradiction.   Do as I say not as I do doesn't  get you very far in life, unless you're a religious figure of course. . 

You assume too much and too all consuming. I am not big on organized religion either but a monk might be given a phone by their family. Not that I see anything wrong with a monk having a phone. Where I am I have not seen any with vehicles and laptops though sure as there is a drunk despicable womanizing pilot somewhere, I would be wrong to categorize them all that way as you do with monks. 

[mogandave]

I would buy her a nice little gold/glass amulet while she’s gone and give it to her when she gets home...

[mogandave]

You assume too much and too all consuming. I am not big on organized religion either but a monk might be given a phone by their family. Not that I see anything wrong with a monk having a phone. Where I am I have not seen any with vehicles and laptops though sure as there is a drunk despicable womanizing pilot somewhere, I would be wrong to categorize them all that way as you do with monks. 

Haters are gonna hate...