FAMILY PARTY. Advice needed.

[Pilotman]

1 hour ago, Tongjaw said:

Perhaps the difference is you didn’t ask someone else to foot the bill for you and your friends to party. 

Maybe that was my mistake. ????

[JaiLai]

7 hours ago, wgdanson said:

Thanks to everyone for their advice. It IS a village wedding that are talking about, and the boys' family have now agreed to pay Bht 40k for the party plus Sinsod etc etc. So I am in the clear. I have chatted with GF and daughter and told them that if and when they do the legal thing after a year living together, I shall put money in HER bank for them. I also made it clear that I thought all this traditional palaver was a load of BS in 2018. Once again thanks for all your help.

Suggest you buy them something they need as opposed to cash, that will likely go towards the latest and greatest smart phone ( or two ).

[Pilotman]

8 hours ago, wgdanson said:

Thanks to everyone for their advice. It IS a village wedding that are talking about, and the boys' family have now agreed to pay Bht 40k for the party plus Sinsod etc etc. So I am in the clear. I have chatted with GF and daughter and told them that if and when they do the legal thing after a year living together, I shall put money in HER bank for them. I also made it clear that I thought all this traditional palaver was a load of BS in 2018. Once again thanks for all your help.

You had my 'well done mate' until your last sentence.  It's not BS to Thais, only to westerners who despite living here, just don't understand, or choose to ignore, long held Thai traditions and instead try to impose their own traditions on Thai people. Believe me, the west has stupider traditions in their lives. 

[BritManToo]

17 minutes ago, Pilotman said:

It's not BS to Thais, only to westerners who despite living here, just don't understand, or choose to ignore, long held Thai traditions

1

I'm happy with any and all Thai traditions, as long as I don't have to pay for them. 

Most western people I meet agree with me.

Edited October 25, 2018 by BritManToo

[Pilotman]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

I'm happy with any and all Thai traditions, as long as I don't have to pay for them. 

Most western people I meet agree with me.

It's simple economics, you have it , they don't,  simple.   If you don't, well that's your look out, because they will still think that you do. 

[BritManToo]

8 minutes ago, Pilotman said:

It's simple economics, you have it , they don't,  simple.   If you don't, well that's your look out, because they will still think that you do. 

I guess it depends who you mix with, I normally get free food and beer from the Thais with whom I associate.

[scorecard]

On 10/24/2018 at 3:27 PM, CharlieH said:

That's a village Wedding !

Good news is there will be envelopes coming in from all the guests with money for the couple.

When we did ours they got around 60k in cash.

 

We paid around 30k for 12 tables (96 people) Food catered and bottle of Whisky and soda on each table. 5k for a Band.

Be warned if you give an invite, they may bring the entire family to feed not just the two on the invite !!

Car parking is a nightmare if you live in a Soi when they all descend to free feed and drink.

If the wife hasnt told you yet, the parents will negotiate Sinsod for sure, and it will need to be shown at the Wedding.

Usually Cash & Gold jewellery for the Bride to wear.

 

My Thai nephew married a nice girl from Roi Et, party in her local village, this village had a party add-on, when guests go home it's tradition to give each guest (or family) a bag of food good for 2 meals for whole family and 2 bottles of beer. 

 

 

[rickudon]

Well, a lot depends on what the girl getting married and the parents want ..... My UK daughter got married this year, but as she is also mixed race and her husband from another country, she had FOUR weddings! Registry (to make it official), a church wedding (no registrar available for the church wedding) and two 'traditional' ceremonies one for my ex-wife's relatives and one for the grooms relatives ......

 

Fortunately i just paid part of the cost, only cost me a couple of thousand pound in total including presents. I said as i was retired i didn't have much money to pay for this, which my daughter was quite reasonable about - just needed a token contribution. The grooms family were quite well off so did spend a lot themselves.

 

When i got married in Thailand just did the traditional Buddhist village wedding (big thing, about 200 guests, as wife's dad was the ex Pooyai baan so they needed sufficient 'face'), and then married in Amphoe a few years later (cost was 500 baht to expedite the process, no party).

 

The problem with wives is they get pregnant quickly!

[wgdanson]

9 minutes ago, rickudon said:

The problem with wives is they get pregnant quickly

Mine certainly will not.

[JimP]

Whoa!  Listen. I've read a few of your previous posts and you seem like a decent guy.  But in all honesty, don't pay a single baht.  You say your step-daughter is now dating some dude, and they shack up at your place.  HE should be paying, or his family for this joyous occasion.  I like the plan of skipping town while all this goes down.  But seriously.  You are under no obligation, unless you want to, and it sounds like you came on this site asking advice because a little voice in your head says, "I really don't want to." 

 

My Thai wife's son from a past relationship knocked up his girlfriend recently.  For a week my wife went to 'negotiations' with the g/f's family because they are both 17, and the g/f's family want my wife's kid to do the right thing.   In the initial meeting, the family wanted 80K baht.  My wife cried. I laughed.  Anyway, what I'm saying is, do what you feel comfortable with doing.  It's been a month and I haven't paid out a single baht for their mistake.  Last I checked my wife's phone, they now want 40K.  Gently tell your daughter to make sure they use protection.  Believe me, you don't need the aggravation.  ????

 

[Hanaguma]

First reaction, this isn't your family. You aren't married to your GF, so she isn't your wife. Her daughter isn't your step-daughter, she's just the offspring of the woman you are living with. I see your obligations as being less than zero in this case.  Just smile and wave, and let everyone do whatever they want. But don't let your hand stray towards your pocket, no matter what pressure is exerted. 

[FritsSikkink]

So the divorced boyfriend wants a good luck party in your house paid by you.

Tell him and his parents that he doesn't have a good track record of maintaining a relationship to start with and this not a good sign he can take care of your daughter.

[Been there done that]

On 10/25/2018 at 3:19 PM, rickudon said:

Well, a lot depends on what the girl getting married and the parents want ..... My UK daughter got married this year, but as she is also mixed race and her husband from another country, she had FOUR weddings! Registry (to make it official), a church wedding (no registrar available for the church wedding) and two 'traditional' ceremonies one for my ex-wife's relatives and one for the grooms relatives ......

 

Fortunately i just paid part of the cost, only cost me a couple of thousand pound in total including presents. I said as i was retired i didn't have much money to pay for this, which my daughter was quite reasonable about - just needed a token contribution. The grooms family were quite well off so did spend a lot themselves.

 

When i got married in Thailand just did the traditional Buddhist village wedding (big thing, about 200 guests, as wife's dad was the ex Pooyai baan so they needed sufficient 'face'), and then married in Amphoe a few years later (cost was 500 baht to expedite the process, no party).

 

The problem with wives is they get pregnant quickly!

Not only wives...