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Worst Joke Ever 2024


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I've been to a lot of places but I've never been in cahoots. 
Apparently you can't go alone, you have to be in cahoots with someone. 
I've also never been incognito, either. I hear nobody recognizes you there. 
I have, however, been insane. They don't have an airport. You have to be driven there. I have made several trips but I am still all in one place!. 

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100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.
Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
The stables have turned.  (into garages)

 


"Got so high last night we searched for my friend for half an hour while he helped us look" 

 

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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North| America.
MARIA:    Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS:    Maria.


TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:    You told me to do it without using tables. 


TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN:    K-R-O-K-O-D-l-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

 

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:    H IJ K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking a bout? 
DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.


TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:    Me!


TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:    Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. 


TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.. 
MILLIE:    I    is..
TEACHER: No, Millie    Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE:    All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

 

 

 


 

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I hate those budget airlines where they don't assign you a seat and its a race to get a decent one.  One time I managed to be first in the queue, and got the best seat, right at the front.  As I was sitting back relaxing, this pushy little fella comes up and says

"That's my seat!"

"Sod off, I was here first", says I.

"Look mate, I'm telling you, you're in my seat" he says again.

"Go and find another one, 'cos I aint moving!" I said.

"Alright.  Fly the bloody plane yourself then" he said as he left.

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