Worst Joke Ever 2024

[VocalNeal]

3 hours ago, Yellowtail said:

Not to be confused with the Hershey Highway 

Close but no cigar????

[roo860]

[ravip]

[Crossy]

[Crossy]

On 7/5/2023 at 6:45 AM, roo860 said:

Jimi Hendrix was an American guitarist, songwriter and singer. Although his mainstream career spanned only four years, he is widely regarded as one of the most influential electric guitarists in the history of popular music.

 

Here's a house,

Here's a door,

Windows one, two, three, four,

Ready to knock?

Turn the lock,

It's ...

 

... Derek Griffiths ????

 

No. not that one, this one: -

 

 

[doctormann]

7 minutes ago, Crossy said:

 

Here's a house,

Here's a door,

Windows one, two, three, four,

Ready to knock?

Turn the lock,

It's ...

 

... Derek Griffiths ????

 

Ah, Play School from a more innocent age.  Used to watch it with my kids, long, long ago.

And what did Chloe Ashcroft do to Hamble?

[Crossy]

2 minutes ago, doctormann said:

Ah, Play School from a more innocent age.  Used to watch it with my kids, long, long ago.

And what did Chloe Ashcroft do to Hamble?

 

I used to drool over Floella (now Baroness) Benjamin ???? 

 

Carried the sceptre at King Charles III coronation! Still pretty darn lovely!

 

[ballpoint]

I think my wife is a drug dealer. I was running late for work this morning and the phone rang.

This guy asked if the dope was gone yet.

[ballpoint]

On this day in 1913 Walter Wrack first drew up plans for a device to allow luggage to be carried on the top of motor vehicles.

His sad early demise meant that the fame and glory for developing and marketing the finished product all fell to his sister Ruth

[ballpoint]

A pastor went to the dentist for a set of false teeth.
The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes.
The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes.
The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.
The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened.
The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up.

[ballpoint]

A Yorkshireman with bad haemorrhoids goes to the chemist and says “as thee any **** cream”?

“Aye lad", the chemist replies, "what does tha want, Magnum or Cornetto?”

[ballpoint]

My Doctor told me I'm suffering from hypochondria

...not surprising, I've had everything else.

[ballpoint]

I just found out Steffi Graff has a sister called Polly.
No lie!

[ballpoint]

Our company team just played football against the lemonade factory.
They were 7up by half time.

[ballpoint]

This is my fourth visit to Turkey in 3 years, and every time it's the same old thing. "10 camels for your beautiful wife?"
And every time I tell them to sod off, before winking at the wife.
If she is that beautiful, why the hell are they trying to sell her back to me?

[roo860]

[WorriedNoodle]

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[scottiejohn]

[scottiejohn]

[scottiejohn]

[scottiejohn]

[ravip]

[ravip]

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