Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish. You have got to be codding !!Oh dear, have I accidentally started a fish pun segment ??Oh Lord, what have I done !! 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 I bought a U2 satnav, but it's useless. All the streets have no name, and I still haven't found what I'm looking for. I bought a Bonnie Tyler satnav, but it's useless. It keeps telling me to turn around, and every now and then it falls apart. I bought a Bon Jovi satnav, but it's useless. It only says anything when we're half way there. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 Just now, Andrew Dwyer said: You have got to be codding !! Oh dear, have I accidentally started a fish pun segment ?? Oh Lord, what have I done !! I'm not falling for the bait. You won't catch me making fish puns, only to get schooled by someone batter at it. You should be made to walk the plankton for even suggesting it. Even now, I'm herring people flounder for a suitable riposte as they trawl through their memories. 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post bluesofa Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 7 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said: You have got to be codding !! Oh dear, have I accidentally started a fish pun segment ?? Oh Lord, what have I done !! You've done it now, just start reeling them in, Rod. That was a good one - I fell for it hook, line and sinker. What bike is at the bottom of the sea? A motorsickle and sidecarp. I'll mullet over, but I'm sure it was a red herring. I don't think the picture is too scale. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 You've done it now, just start reeling them in, Rod. That was a good one - I fell for it hook, line and sinker. What bike is at the bottom of the sea? A motorsickle and sidecarp. I'll mullet over, but I'm sure it was a red herring. I don't think the picture is too scale. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 Okay, okay , I’ll stop !! 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 Maybe I need to join too ?? Just seen it says “ support grouper “ [emoji23] 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post WorriedNoodle Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedNoodle Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedNoodle Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedNoodle Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 There is no “ i “ in team !! 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 That moment your cat finds out she is pregnant !! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Darryl and Gary. The three men had always done everything together!!!!! Darryl arrived first and when the mortician pulled back the sheet Darryl said, “Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.” The mortician rolled him over, and Darryl said, “Nope, ain’t Bubba.” The mortician thought this was rather strange. Then he brought Gary in to identify the body. Gary looked at the body and said, “Yup he’s pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.” The mortician rolled him over and Gary said, “No, it ain’t Bubba.” The mortician asked, “How can you tell?” Gary said, “Well, Bubba had two buttholes .” “What? He had two buttholes ?” asked the mortician. Yup, I’ve never seen ‘em, but everyone knew he had two buttholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, “Here comes Bubba with them two buttholes !! RIP Bubba ( and his two buttholes [emoji51]) 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 Ooo that was Volga !! 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 That’ll teach em to er.......to er...........what was the question again ? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 (edited) 4 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said: That moment your cat finds out she is pregnant !! PS; As I was too late to get caught up in the fish jokes as they all seem to have been netted before I got to cast an eye over them I thought I would litter the page with a few catty comments after Andrew's lead. Edited September 13, 2019 by scottiejohn 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 1 hour ago, Andrew Dwyer said: Ooo that was Volga !! I do not want to radiate contrary comments but I think you were Russian to the wrong conclusion there as I suspect if any "knobs" were falling out the were looking for a vulva, not a Volga. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 A father and mother send their 14Yo son to a special tutor because he's falling behind in school. After weeks of personal classes and hundreds of dollars, the parents ask the tutor for a progress report. "Good news," the tutor tells them over the phone, "your son is getting straight As." "That's outstanding!" says the father. "I'll say," the tutor replies. "I think we're finally ready to move on to the letter B." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 Two young girls, students at an exclusive prep school in California, are eating lunch and flipping through a celebrity magazine. "Oh my god, I forgot to tell you!" the blonde says to the brunette. "My mom is getting remarried!" "No way," the brunette replies. "To who?" The blonde flips open the magazine and points to a famous director. "Oh!" screams the brunette. "You'll love him! He was my dad last year!" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?" Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can set in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I'm so happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting on the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring so he hurried to open the door. When he opened the door, there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello son is your grandma home?" The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend." 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 Well you never know [emoji848] 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post chickenslegs Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 When I was a kid my parents would always say "Excuse my French" after uttering a swear word. I got sent home from school the day that my teacher asked "Does anyone know any French words?" 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenslegs Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 At the wedding rehearsal the Minister noticed the bride was in distress so asked what was wrong. She replied that she was very nervous and afraid she would not remember what to do. The Minister told her that she only needed to remember 3 words. · First aisle, just walk down it. · Secondly, altar, just stop when you reach it. · Finally, hymn, after the hymn I will read your vows and you just repeat them after me. While the bride was walking in step with the wedding march, family and friends of the groom were horrified to hear her repeating these 3 words... ... Aisle, alter hymn. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenslegs Posted September 13, 2019 Share Posted September 13, 2019 “If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time?” Women on their periods always ovary act. Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a woman in menopause? A: Lipstick Q: What's the quickest way for a man to end up sleeping on the couch? A: Forgetting to erase his internet history after reading menopause jokes! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post chickenslegs Posted September 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 13, 2019 A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey then looks into his wallet. He does this over and over again. Finally, the bartender asks why he orders a shot of whiskey and afterwards look into his wallet. The man responded, "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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