Worst Joke Ever 2024

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[roo860]

[mrpakchong]

21 hours ago, roo860 said:

Darling I'm home

[ravip]

[ravip]

[still kicking]

 

[overherebc]

New Japanese Flag.

Edited December 3, 2022 by overherebc

[overherebc]

[roo860]

[VBF]

17 minutes ago, roo860 said:

 

The wonderful late Windsor Davies

Edited December 3, 2022 by VBF

[DezLez]

11 hours ago, ballpoint said:

England are 8/1 to win the World Cup....
If you're not a gambler that means if you put £10 on, you are going to lose a tenner.

Excuse me but I'm not a gambler so thanks for the tip!

But when you "put £10 on", what or where do I put that £10 "to lose a tenner" onto, and what do I not put it onto if I do not want to lose it?"

????

[still kicking]

[still kicking]

[DezLez]

I said to my wife: 'When I die I'd like to die having sex.'

She replied: 'At least it'll be quick.'

[DezLez]

I've decided I want a pet termite.

I'm going to call him Clint. Clint Eatswood.

[DezLez]

So many people these days are too judgemental.

I can tell just by looking at them!

[DezLez]

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

 

10-tickles.

[DezLez]

I figured out why Teslas are so expensive.

 

It's because they charge a lot.

[DezLez]

Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed? Everybody.

[DezLez]

My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.

Well, toucan play at that game.

[ballpoint]

2 hours ago, DezLez said:

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

 

10-tickles.

How did you do that research?  Did you go round giving octopi test tickles?  That takes a lot of balls.

[ballpoint]

12 hours ago, DezLez said:

Excuse me but I'm not a gambler so thanks for the tip!

But when you "put £10 on", what or where do I put that £10 "to lose a tenner" onto, and what do I not put it onto if I do not want to lose it?"

????

You put your money on the counter of a 'bookmaker', or 'bookie', on the assumption that England will win the world cup.

Said bookmaker takes your money, on the assumption that you are an idiot.

 

 

 

[ballpoint]

My wife is the double of Kate Moss;"
"Really?"
"Yes. Kate Moss weighs 9 stone".

[ballpoint]

Breaking News!

Man with a stammer jailed.

Judge rules he's unlikely to complete his sentence.

[ballpoint]

Paddy the electrician has been sacked by the US prison service for refusing to repair the electric chair.
He said that in his opinion it was a death trap.

[ballpoint]

I shouted: “Push harder” when my wife was in labour.
“I hate you” she screamed,
I thought that was a bit harsh, It wasn’t my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital.

[ballpoint]

I used to hate it when my mum would dress me and my twin brother in the same clothes.
We could hardly walk!