Seth1a2a Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 On 12/10/2019 at 8:56 AM, Seth1a2a said: They say Charity is good for the soul. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Peter Denis Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 Curly hair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Peter Denis Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 (edited) A woman's dog gets an ear infection, so she takes it to the the vet. The vet says to get some hair removal cream from the chemist, and, when the hair is gone, wash it three times a day with disinfectant. As the chemist hands over the cream the following conversation takes place: “You’ll be a bit tender after using this so don’t wear long sleeves for a few days”. “It’s not for my arms” “Well don’t wear trousers for a while “ “It’s not for my legs” “Well what’s it for then?” “It’s for my schnauzer” “Oh. Then don’t ride a bike for a week” Edited December 16, 2019 by ballpoint 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 (edited) I went to the liquor store on my bicycle last Friday, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the basket on front. Then I thought to myself that, if I were to fall off, the bottle would break, so I drank the whole lot before I set off. Good thing I did. I fell off that bicycle seven times on the way home. Edited December 16, 2019 by ballpoint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the bloke, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”. ‘About 32,’ is the reply.’ ‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’ Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a shop on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some thing and asks the assistant the same burning question. The clerk responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’ Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’ While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, ‘Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’ They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’ He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay.....How old am I?’ He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’ Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’ ‘I was behind you at McDonalds’. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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