Popular Post scottiejohn Posted August 16, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 16, 2019 A mother and her very young son were flying Virgin Airlines.. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big aeroplanes have baby aeroplanes?" The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the steward. So the boy went down the aisle and asked the steward. The steward smiled and said, "Did your Mummy tell you to ask me?" The boy said, "yes she did." "Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby aeroplanes because as the Virgin Airline the Captain always pulls out on time. Your Mummy can explain that to you." 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 "Oh Father, Father," said the distressed woman to her parish priest. "How would you tackle a serious drink problem?" "With a corkscrew," came the reply. Did you hear about the man who lost two fingers working in the car factory? Funnily enough he didn't realise he'd lost them until he left work and waved goodbye to the foreman. "Billy" said the young woman who had moved in next door. "I forgot to get some milk at the corner store, do you think you could go for me?" "No" said the boy, "but I overheard dad say he could." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 How do you stop a fight between two blind men? Shout out "my money's on the one with the knife". How do you stop an argument between two deaf men? Turn off the lights. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted August 16, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 16, 2019 What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 “ i love lamp “ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post chickenslegs Posted August 16, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 16, 2019 2 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said: “ i love lamp “ It's OK if you just want a light snack. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenslegs Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted August 16, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 16, 2019 Who said religion can’t be fun ?? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fasteddie Posted August 16, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 16, 2019 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post riceyummm Posted August 16, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 16, 2019 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post riceyummm Posted August 17, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 17, 2019 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riceyummm Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted August 17, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 17, 2019 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted August 17, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 17, 2019 Confucius Says: Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. Baseball rules is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk. War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. Man who drive like hell, bound to get there quick time. Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement. Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs. Crowded elevator smell different to midget. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted August 17, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 17, 2019 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 Two women talking over the garden fence. "My husband's an efficiency expert." "What's that then?" "Well, I'll put it another way. If a woman did it, they would call it nagging." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 Three Welsh farmers are walking across the mountainside when they spot a field of sheep. "Heh, there's some good looking sheep over there," the first one jokes. I wish one was Jordan." "I wish one was Baby Spice," says the second. "I wish it was dark," whispers the third. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted August 17, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 17, 2019 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post bluesofa Posted August 17, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 17, 2019 7 minutes ago, scottiejohn said: Confucius Says: Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. Baseball rules is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk. War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. Man who drive like hell, bound to get there quick time. Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement. Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs. Crowded elevator smell different to midget. Man who eats meat and peas on same plate not hygienic. Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fasteddie Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post fasteddie Posted August 17, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 17, 2019 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 11 minutes ago, fasteddie said: Jesus really seems to be jumping on this forum recently; see post 2633 et al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted August 17, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 17, 2019 Jesus really seems to be jumping on this forum recently; see post 2633 et alEddie is not as fast as he thinks [emoji51] 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted August 17, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 17, 2019 Apologies to red necks !!, that’s if someone takes the time to read it to them [emoji51] 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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