Worst Joke Ever 2025

[roo860]

[roo860]

[DezLez]

1 hour ago, roo860 said:

He's lucky!  Just think he could have fallen asleep facing the other way!

If he did I think one can safely say it would leave a bad taste in his mouth!

[DezLez]

1 hour ago, roo860 said:

Where's the mustard (gas) when you need it!

[DezLez]

3 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Or an AA/RAC 14 page route print-out that came in the post after 5 days of asking over the phone!

[DezLez]

Mapping our past and future!

 

The other day I downloaded the maps of Wales, England, Scotland and Northern Ireland for an assignment...

was shocked to see that the total file size was 1GB.

 

The Spanish Cartography Society summoned their now ex-voyaging map artist, Amerigo Vespucci, to explain what his purported maps of their conquests depicted instead of the standard, approved reality; like the properly accepted new Spanish name of the country he was depicting..
AV famously stammered out, "Um.. err.. I ca.."

 

I received an email about an online course on Map Reading & Navigation.

They say it's so good you'll be able to read maps backwards.
But I soon realized it was just spam.

 

Just got fired from my job at Google Maps. Apparently I was terrible at drawing the boundaries between countries.

They said I was borderline incompetent.

PS;  I am now not thinking of (not) mapping out a new career for myself!

 

 

 

PPS;  I promise I will give my Tuk Tuk driver a map to get me out of here!!

 

 

 

 

[DezLez]

3 hours ago, ballpoint said:

That is sure to raise a few eyebrows (depending on eye-patches) and whip up lashings of responses!

[DezLez]

5 hours ago, overherebc said:

Great news!

Where can I find these Christmas Carols that are everywhere and that I can BAM?

 

PS;  Are they free?

[DezLez]

7 hours ago, roo860 said:

I think you have been sold either a heartfelt piece of art or a load of B@LLs!

Or, maybe it is just someone getting their nose tweaked like you just have!

 

 

 

[DezLez]

16 hours ago, ravip said:

Stewardess: One more thing you might like to know, we don't call it the cockpit any more !!

Woman: So what do you call it?

We now call the whole area the "Joystick area"!

[DezLez]

17 hours ago, overherebc said:

Oh Great news, a shortage of Xmas trees this year!

[carlyai]

1 hour ago, DezLez said:

He's lucky!  Just think he could have fallen asleep facing the other way!

If he did I think one can safely say it would leave a bad taste in his mouth!

Pffffffftt she said, cheeekely.

[VBF]

23 hours ago, still kicking said:

In the words of Frankie Boyle...."Yes, there is a Vegan option - you can F*C* off"! ????

[DezLez]

43 minutes ago, carlyai said:

Pffffffftt she said, cheeekely.

Are you sure that one of them is a "she"?

Either way one or both are glad the the other cheek(s) wasn't turned!

[overherebc]

5p and a balloon to the first poster who can prove they are the first to report (with proof) hearing 'Jinger Ben' in a  dept store.

[ballpoint]

5 hours ago, DezLez said:

The Spanish Cartography Society summoned their now ex-voyaging map artist, Amerigo Vespucci, to explain what his purported maps of their conquests depicted instead of the standard, approved reality; like the properly accepted new Spanish name of the country he was depicting..
AV famously stammered out, "Um.. err.. I ca.."

I didn't expect the Spanish indecision.

[ballpoint]

5 hours ago, DezLez said:

That is sure to raise a few eyebrows (depending on eye-patches) and whip up lashings of responses!

Eye eye captain.

 

 

[Mike Teavee]

52 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I didn't expect the Spanish indecision.

Nobody expects the Spanish Indecision... 

[DezLez]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

Eye eye captain.

 

 

Got yo hooked eye see!

[DezLez]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

I didn't expect the Spanish indecision.

Oh!

I'm not so sure!

Maybe I can I spell it back to you later

"acirema"

 

[ballpoint]

10 minutes ago, DezLez said:

Got yo hooked eye see!

Your vitreous humour is getting cornea by the minute.  I'll send you a link to a good eye doctor's web page, it's a site for sore eyes.

 

By the way, you'll never guess who I bumped into on the way to the opticians?

Everyone.

 

When I got there he told me my test results weren't very promising.

"Can I see them?" I asked.

"Probably not" he replied.

[dcsw53]

[dcsw53]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[MJCM]

Genie: "What's your first wish?"

 

David: "I wish I was rich.”

 

Genie: "What's your second wish, Rich?"

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]