Worst Joke Ever 2025

scottiejohn · July 23, 2023

I got my girlfriend a “Get better soon” card.

She isn’t sick, I just think she can get better.

scottiejohn · July 23, 2023

A Scottish family gathers around their father who is very old and sick.

He says, “Daughter, are you here? Son? Where is my brother? Is everyone here in this room with me now?”

The daughter replies,

“Yes Dad, we’re all here! Your entire family is here in this room!”

Dad says, “Then why is the bloody hallway light on?”

scottiejohn · July 23, 2023

What’s the difference between unlawful and illegal?

Unlawful is against the law.

Illegal is just a sick big bird.

scottiejohn · July 23, 2023

If I have to explain the Latin term “ad nauseum” one more time…

I’m going to be sick.

ballpoint · July 23, 2023

10 minutes ago, scottiejohn said:

I hope you have the stomach for some more sickening puns!

Coming up soon in a forum near you!

Like the man who swallowed a spanner, I find that gut wrenching.

scottiejohn · July 23, 2023

Just now, ballpoint said:

Like the man who swallowed a spanner, I find that gut wrenching.

As long is it didn't tighten his nuts, otherwise he would find himself a screw ~~less~~ less!

Yellowtail · July 23, 2023

oxo1947 · July 23, 2023

.

roo860 · July 23, 2023

scottiejohn · July 23, 2023

46 minutes ago, oxo1947 said:

.

You must have photo shopped that image it should have had this;

scottiejohn · July 23, 2023

In Britain, when you turn 100, you get a letter from the King.

And when you turn 15, you get a text from Prince ~~Andrew~~.

scottiejohn · July 23, 2023

The Prince and the Hooker.

The Prince decided to take up walking every day. At the same street corner next to Pizza Express he passed a hooker who well passed her 15th birthday standing there every day.

He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.

"One hundred and fifty pounds!" she'd shout.

"No! Five pounds!" He said from the side of his mouth, just to shut her up.

This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence.

She'd yell, "One hundred and fifty pounds!"
He'd yell back, "Five pounds!"

One day, Fergie decided to accompany her ex husband.

As the couple neared the hooker's corner, the Prince realised she'd bark her £150 offer and Fergie would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings.

He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his ex wife.

As they neared the hooker’s corner he became even more apprehensive than usual.

Sure enough, there she stood. He tried to avoid eye contact as she watched the pair pass.

Then, the hooker yelled:

"See what you get for five pounds, you tight bastard !”

PS; Please note that the name of the alleged Prince involved in this alleged series of incidents has been removed to protect the reputation of the alleged child molester, the Duke of York pub and the many overaged hookers who hang around Pizza Express!