Worst Joke Ever 2025

[WorriedNoodle]

[Crossy]

On 7/10/2021 at 5:46 PM, ravip said:

Who is Joe and where is he now????

 

POTUS??

[fangless]

Fresh out of the shower, a woman stood in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts were too small. Instead of telling her it’s not true, he came up with a suggestion.

If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.

Willing to try anything, she fetched a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror again, rubbing it between her breasts.

How long will this take? she asked.

They’ll grow larger over a period of years, her husband replied.

Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make them larger?

It worked for your butt, didn’t it?
 

[fangless]

I was going to buy a book about phobias,

but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.
 

[fangless]

A man goes to a shrink and says, Doctor, my beautiful young wife is definitely being unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to the local bar and picks up middle aged married men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her!

I’m going crazy. What do you think I should do?

Relax, says the doctor, Take a deep breath and calm down.

Now, tell me, exactly where is this bar?

[fangless]

Two cows are standing in a field.

One says to the other, I got artificially inseminated today. Nine months from now I’ll have a calf.

I don’t believe you, said the other cow.

Really! No bull!
 

[ravip]

A Scientologist, a Catholic, and a Mormon are talking about their families...

The Scientologist jokes, "I've got 4 kids. One more and I'll have a basketball team!"

 

The Catholic joins in and says, "Well I've got 10 kids, and one more I'll have a football team!".

 

The Mormon speaks up and deadpans. "I've got 17 wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."

[ravip]

An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a Construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand.

He says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."

 

To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shovelling."

And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."

 

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you men to make a dent in that pile of sand."

 

So when the foreman returns after being away for a couple of hours the pile of sand is untouched.

 

He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinesea fella that he a wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."

 

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."

The Scotsman replies, "Aye, that ye did laddie, boot ah could nae get meself a shoovel. Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldna fin' him neither."

 

The foreman is really angry now. He storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese gent.

Just then, the Chinese man leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells, "SUPPLIES!!!!"

[ravip]

A boy is selling fish on a corner.
To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f* ing potatoes!"

[Zyxel]

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