2 hours ago, Crossy said:

 

Yes, it's real https://www.flightradar24.com/data/aircraft/sp-smc#2bdb26a9

 

There's the truth, in plane English.

Had an appointment with my GP this morning.
She said, "Let's talk about your weight."
I said, "Well, it was about 40 minutes but it was OK, the chairs are reasonably comfortable but you could do with a few newer magazines."

Over forty years ago today, I asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend, and the most beautiful girl I've ever met to marry me.

All 3 said no, so I got stuck with this one instead.

2 pebbles on a beach, one asks, "Are you married?"
The other replies, "No, I'm shingle."

I went to the pub last night dressed as a tennis ball.

I was served straight away.

When my wife and I argue, I tighten the top of every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say: Oh yeah, you need me now eh?

Teacher: "Use the word ‘intermittent’ in a sentence".
Johnny: "While I was camping it began to rain hard so I ran intermittent".

I wonder if the Wasps rugby club have a B team?

There was an explosion at the pie factory.

The blast could be heard 3.14159265359 miles away.

39 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

There's the truth, in plane English.

Flight of fancy?