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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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1 hour ago, VocalNeal said:

 

This will take me a while. I will have to come back to it.

I believe the caption is missing:

 

"I'm preparing for the hosepipe ban"

 

Or words to that effect.

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4 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I believe the caption is missing:

 

"I'm preparing for the hosepipe ban"

 

Or words to that effect.

Now I can change thumbs up to 555. 🙂

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You can laugh, but I was on that flight. After 4 hours I asked the airline when we'd leave, and they said...

Still no change.

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Can Moderation please contact me?
My GP says I need to drink with you.

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I bought a second hand time machine next Sunday.
They don't make them like they're going to anymore.

I was the best man at my brother's wedding in Paris.
At the reception, I raised my champagne glass and said, 'Eggs, cinnamon, bread, and maple syrup.'
It was a French toast.

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A man and his girlfriend die in a car accident and meet Peter at the Pearly Gates.

Peter says, “Welcome to Heaven. Do you have any questions?”
The man replies, “Yes, my girlfriend and I never had the chance to get married while we were alive. Can we get married in Heaven?”
Peter says, “That’s a good question. I’ll be back when I have the answer.”
Left at the gates, the couple begins to talk about love and how long eternity is.
Six weeks later, Peter returns and says, “OK, I’ve found your answer. Yes, you can get married in Heaven. So come right in and enjoy eternity together.”
The couple responds, “We have another question. Eternity is a very long time, and we’re not sure if our relationship will last. If things don’t work out, can we get a divorce in Heaven?”
Peter replies, “******* hell! It took me six weeks to find a priest up here—do you have any idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?!”

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4 hours ago, ballpoint said:

I believe the caption is missing:

 

"I'm preparing for the hosepipe ban"

 

Or words to that effect.

Or someone came home from Ronnie Corbett's hardware store with the wrong O's.

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6 hours ago, VocalNeal said:

This will take me a while. I will have to come back to it.

 

Yer forgot to put the caption about buying up large before the UK hose ban every summer.............   (I got one tick for it)     :w00t:

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Welcome to Pattaya

 

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