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Pattaya's New work force....

 

A blonde gets run down by a bus when crossing the street, leaving her lying in the road moaning "I can't see!  I cant see!  I've gone blind!"

A doctor, who happened to be passing by, rushes over to help, and asks "how many fingers do I have up?"

"My god!" shrieks the blonde, "I'm paralysed too!"

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind.

He gave me a kite

Just failed my driving test, when the examiner asked me "what sign would you expect to see down a narrow country lane?"

Apparently ‘fresh farm eggs for sale’ wasn’t the answer

What's the difference between Anusol and Deep Heat?
I'll tell you once I've finished crying.

An elderly couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary.

The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighbourhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered. They found the old desk they'd shared, where Jerry had carved "I love you, Sally". 

 

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armoured car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money -  fifty thousand dollars! 

Jerry said,: "We've got to give it back."

Sally said: "Finders keepers."
She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic. 

 

The next day, two police officers, who were canvassing the neighbourhood looking for the money, knocked on their door. "Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armoured car yesterday?" 

Sally said: "No." 

Jerry said: "She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic." 

Sally said: "Don't believe him, he’s getting senile." 

 

The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him.   

One said: "Tell us the story from the beginning." 

Jerry said: "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ..." 

 

The first police officer turned to his partner and said: "Let’s get out of here."

20 minutes ago, roo860 said:

Very true!

6 minutes ago, roo860 said:

Are you referring to the vehicles?

Just now, roo860 said:

Never had the opportunity take the diversion!

Who's been listening to Dad?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFYsJYPye94