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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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My neighbour found out that her dog could hardly hear, so she took it to the vet.
The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the chemist and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
The lady went to the chemist and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
The lady said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."
The lady replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist says, "Well stay off your bicycle for about a week.

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I saw a sign on a coffee machine that said "Not <deleted> working"
I thought "That's out of order".

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Men have feelings too.
For example, we feel hungry.

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What do we want?
Procrastination
When do we want it ?
Next week.

 

What do we want?
A time machine.
When do we want it?
Well, it doesn't really matter.

 

What do we want?
A cure for Alzheimer's.
When do we want it?
Want what?

 

What do we want?
A cure for paranoia!
When do we want it?
Who wants to know?

 

What do we want?
Accurate timepieces!
When do we want them?
Well, how the **** would I know?

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Thoughts on Toilet walls----------

 

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3 hours ago, fangless said:

What happens if you play country music backwards? -

Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison. Q
 

And your John Deere tractor starts again.

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Safety first

 

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Edited by tomazbodner

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