Getting married to Thai wife in a month: Need help to know if she is cheating. :(

[Mavideol]

simple question, does the guy get paid for his posts??? that's why he keeps posting the same BS

 

[donim]

On 1/4/2019 at 1:24 PM, Spidey said:

Which female working in parlours (?) HAS the name Zen. I've never met one.

:) That post was editted within a minute, so u was fast.  I deleted that line when I realized that it was a man in this case.

But anyway to answer your question, in a soi in Kowloon (HK) there is one she goes with that name.

 

[stevkob]

The OP is is 54yo asking questions that a teenager would be able to work out by himself.

Now he's opened another thread:

 

 

[marko kok prong]

read some of the op,seen some bizzare one's here,this is up there.

[Neeranam]

On 1/6/2019 at 12:27 AM, Tchooptip said:

Who said the woman said krap to ladyboys? Or maybe those "some woman"...are ladyboys 

 

Your wife, I think.

 

No, I meant real women say krap to men, it's common.

 

 

 

[Tchooptip]

16 hours ago, Neeranam said:

Your wife, I think.

 

No, I meant real women say krap to men, it's common.

 

 

 

Not at all, on the contrary, she said maybe the woman texting was a Ladyboy, for saying crap herself. 

As for your opinion of the real woman saying krap commonly to man, I reckon I am only full time in Thailand for seven years, so less than you  But not going around with any expats, and in spite of being only amongst Thais,  I never heard it once???? ...but since I always tried to be as polite as possible I won't allow me to say you are wrong because it is not common at all. I will simply answer ???? I did not know nor ear it "myself" once  

I know the women Tomboys do say Krap but I never talked to any of them.

[Pete1980]

On ‎1‎/‎4‎/‎2019 at 7:57 AM, BritManToo said:

 

Just confirmed by girlfriend, this is a conversation between two lovers having a bit of a tiff.

Couldnt read it yourself? Thai gf?

[balo]

On 1/6/2019 at 3:15 PM, FolkGuitar said:

It's been 23 years so far, and there never has been any trust issues. She has my passwords, I have hers. We both have access to each other's bank accounts. Trust and love.  It's a very workable and comfortable combination.

Wow, where did you meet this lady ? Is she a 100% Thai buddhist woman? I would never trust someone like this, westerners or Thais. 

 

 

 

Edited January 8, 2019 by balo

[FolkGuitar]

1 hour ago, balo said:

Wow, where did you meet this lady ? Is she a 100% Thai buddhist woman? I would never trust someone like this, westerners or Thais.

 

Interesting....  I would never marry a woman I didn't trust completely. 

 

As soon as you cheat on your spouse, you will immediately begin to think that she is cheating on you. If you steal from someone, you will imagine that other are trying to steal from you. If you lie to others you will think others are lying to you.  For those of you who don't trust their wives: have you cheated on them? Lied to them about something?

 

We trust each other.  It's called 'commitment.' When you marry, you give your word.  I realize that for some, 'giving one's word' has little value. But it does for us.

[balo]

2 hours ago, FolkGuitar said:

We trust each other.  It's called 'commitment.

You didn't answer my questions. 

 

[FolkGuitar]

7 hours ago, balo said:

You didn't answer my questions. 

 

 

That's correct. I felt that the questions were irrelevant.

Especially since you state that you "would never trust someone like this, westerners or Thais." 

[Hummin]

9 hours ago, FolkGuitar said:

 

Interesting....  I would never marry a woman I didn't trust completely. 

 

As soon as you cheat on your spouse, you will immediately begin to think that she is cheating on you. If you steal from someone, you will imagine that other are trying to steal from you. If you lie to others you will think others are lying to you.  For those of you who don't trust their wives: have you cheated on them? Lied to them about something?

 

We trust each other.  It's called 'commitment.' When you marry, you give your word.  I realize that for some, 'giving one's word' has little value. But it does for us.

I like your ideology, but when you say us, you still only speak for yourselves. 

 

Anyway, I still think like you, and when in relationship, it is 100% comitment. If I feel it is not from my partner, it is not going to happen in the future either. 

[Puwa]

20 hours ago, Tchooptip said:

Not at all, on the contrary, she said maybe the woman texting was a Ladyboy, for saying crap herself. 

As for your opinion of the real woman saying krap commonly to man, I reckon I am only full time in Thailand for seven years, so less than you  But not going around with any expats, and in spite of being only amongst Thais,  I never heard it once???? ...but since I always tried to be as polite as possible I won't allow me to say you are wrong because it is not common at all. I will simply answer ???? I did not know nor ear it "myself" once  

I know the women Tomboys do say Krap but I never talked to any of them.

It's a real thing in Thai, a manner of speaking, not unlike when Thais invert the personal pronouns kao (he, she) and rao (I) in informal speech. In that usage one refers to himself as "kao" and the other as "rao." The inversion intimates closeness between speaker and listener and adds a sardonic touch. Women saying kraap is a comparable departure from the norms. It's a playful, ironic way to speak that only comes up in certain situations. I've been speaking Thai for 28 years. There were things I thought I knew after 7 years (and 10, 15, 25) that I didn't in fact understand.

[FolkGuitar]

1 hour ago, Hummin said:

I like your ideology, but when you say us, you still only speak for yourselves. 

 

Anyway, I still think like you, and when in relationship, it is 100% comitment. If I feel it is not from my partner, it is not going to happen in the future either. 

 

Absolutely. I can only speak for myself. And it is only in context to my own relationships that I will say that trust is imperative. More than enough other folks out there who lie, cheat, and steal. I just don't choose to be one of them, and would not marry someone who was.

 

Relationships often do change over the years. But one that begins with trust has a better chance of remaining that way than one that begins with suspicions.

[NCC1701A]

On 1/6/2019 at 1:52 AM, mikehongpark said:

Thank you all for the support, advice, and encouragement. What I failed to mention is that we are already married (in Thailand) and have been for 10+ months, in order to get the green card paperwork started. We met in Myrtle Beach during my vacation and during her work/study travel. Had a small ceremony with just her side in Feb 2018. The wedding reception next month is the 2nd reception joined by my family and friends from America. I stated that I've vested $100K+ in the 3.5 years of our relationship, but I'm forgetting about the Sin Sod, 5 x 24K gold chains for her family, and the wedding costs last year so I'm looking at close to $150K. Yes, I was stupid and flashed my money on my 1st visit to meet her in Asia 3 years ago, and took her to 4 different countries and gave her a few gifts. Stupid as stupid goes, and lesson learned.

The 2nd wedding reception is scheduled for next month and we were planning to have babies once her green card/visa is approved. Ironically, the National Visa Center just sent an approval email to proceed right after this Post. I am 48 and she is 26 and I really want to have kids and feel that I might lose the chance to have kids if I move on as I don't want to have kid after passing 50 yo. Don't want to be the grandpa/dad, even though I know that I can be one of the best dad. I know that I must move on, as the trust has been lost.  But, I ask myself, can the trust be regained? 

I always had the chance to access her facebook acct in the past 2 years as she always have the password saved on my laptop, but I never felt the need until the recent New Year trip to Moscow as I noticed suspicious behavior. I did have some trust issues 2 years ago, so she gave me her Facebook credentials also.

She has now admitted to cheating and blamed the distance and not having anyone to talk to during stressful time, as we have a 13 hour time difference and we are both working. I had plenty of chances to have other women, but I always right thing. I just turned 48 and I have never cheated on a significant other and plan to keep it that way.

 

I have the choice to move on or give her a chance, but I'm so confused and feeling pretty pathetic right now.

1) Move On:

* I must notify 30+ friends with confirmed flights to Thailand. 

* Fear of not having kids.

* Not sure if I will find a companion to have kids with, within a year.

* A lot of money has been vested into this relationship

* Have to divorce, before ever having to cohabitate with the wife

 

2) Give her a chance:

* Start working on having kids this year.

* Will take time to earn my trust.

* Relationship will be rocky for a while, at least until she gives me the gift of a child as the love for a child will change all mindsets.

 

[jerojero]

Thanks for all the replies. It's just hard to just let go without being sure as I have vested around $100K into this relationship in the last 4 years. Also, I have put down payments for the banquet hall, dress rentals, photographer, backdrop, hotel, and etc.... Yeah, I know that I'm a dumbass for not checking up on her sooner. Waste of 4 years and a broken heart and things like this make a person numb to emotions and will be hard to trust another person, at least for awhile. Need to learn that trust is earned, not given.

You spent 2 or 3 million baht, in mere 4 years? As her boyfriend? What the hell are you doing! Like another poster said, tell here you lost your job and have no savings. See how she reacts. Won't be pretty, I'm sure.