Getting married to Thai wife in a month: Need help to know if she is cheating. :(

[mikehongpark]

1 hour ago, cyberfarang said:

Are you ready for the truth? If so sit down and brace yourself.

 

Just been over the Thai script briefly with my wife.

 

Basically, the guy says he loves her, your girl is saying sex talk with him and towards the end she says; once she`s got the money she`ll run away and leave, assuming the money part is from you.

 

Good luck.

 

Thank you. I'm gonna have a hard time trusting women for awhile. It never pays to be a good person in life, I guess.

[jadee]

If you've already resorted to going through her phone and copying her chats, it's probably safe to say that marriage shouldn't be an option!

[stevkob]

Be a lot more than 100k if you'd stayed with her, she'd have sucked you dry.

Those 30 friends will understand, if they don't then they're not real friends.

[mikehongpark]

1 hour ago, cyberfarang said:

Slut
เป็นเหี้ยไร
ไม่รับอะ
รับดิ
มึงต้องการเเบบนี้ใช่มั้ย

 

She says; some people have been accusing her of acting like a slut, probably meaning going with a Farang and asking; does she really need to be doing this?

 

We assume it`s about money.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for the translation.  I'm never telling girls how much I make, anymore. 

[Psimbo]

Getting married in a month and want to know if she's cheating?

 

Why are you even posing this question if you have doubts?

 

Geez the mentality of some people here.

 

'Love' is not blind, it's a lobotomy to some.

Edited January 4, 2019 by Psimbo

[4evermaat]

54 minutes ago, mikehongpark said:

Thank you. Was planning to have kids ASAP. I will eject myself from this 4 year relationship. Funny how just after posting this, I just received an approval email from the National Visa Processing center after 9 month wait and this must be a sign to NOT proceed with the wedding reception. Have around 30 confirmed booking from the USA to Thailand. Guess, I will have to go to Thailand anyways and treat it like a vacation with 30 friends. However, it's going to be a nightmare to break this news to all my people and family.

 

"The second best time to plant a tree is today" - Chinese Proverb

 

There were a couple of thai private investigator websites.  But I'd just say it is less stressful to just download tinder and try again.

[mikehongpark]

2 hours ago, RicUSA said:

Only reason to live under one roof with a woman is if you are raising a child is my opinion for those young enough in the 21st century....  Dont know how old you are or where you are from but good luck.  Remember that - love is "real", but cohabitation can be a "real" killer - 555

All my divorced friends have been trying to keep me from getting married. But since I want kids, I felt that I needed to give the kids a complete package. One day, I will find the right woman. Thanks for your advice. Perhaps, I will try to get some girl knocked up. It hasn't paid back in my life for always doing the right thing.

[mikehongpark]

1 hour ago, Mavideol said:

what else...  ATM machine??

Perhaps, I revealed a little too much about my retirement money. Note taken for the future.

[mikehongpark]

1 hour ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Well, 100k (US dollars - not baht as he did put a dollar sign in front).

 

There will be a few guys saying that nothing is for "free".

 

Maybe not, but if you weren't acting like a big spender the girl wouldn't be interested in you in the first place. I find that not giving money generally rules out scammers. When I dated my wife I wasn't giving her a single baht. You know.... decent women are generally like that. 

 

 

 

 

So true. One of my Thai female friends in America warned me about that. Thanks

[cyberfarang]

2 minutes ago, mikehongpark said:

Thank you. I'm gonna have a hard time trusting women for awhile. It never pays to be a good person in life, I guess.

Considering you have invested so much time and money into this relationship already, and may be planning to invest a lot more resources into this relationship, if this were me I would not say anything about this to your GF at the moment and pay to have that text chat professionally translated because it does contain many Thai slang words that my wife knows what they mean but will not translate in Google because it`s slang. Only a native Thai speaker would know the meanings. But I can tell you none of it`s good.

 

Whatever it costs for a translation could save you a lot more expense, both emotionally and financially in the future. Then once you have the undisputed evidence you can confront your GF with it demanding an explanation, after that it`s your decision how you deal with it.

 

 

[mikehongpark]

33 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

In the meantime, get even and bang her sister.

Any other ideas to get even? I know that she can't pay me back 35 mil baht, nor will she. She doesn't have a sister. Maybe, I'll go calling on some of her Facebook friend while I'm in Thailand.

I did think about going through with the wedding, but surprise her with a "Reveal of her cheating Ways" party. But that's another 350K bahts to pay for the remaining balance for the wedding reception.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

6 minutes ago, mikehongpark said:

So true. One of my Thai female friends in America warned me about that. Thanks

 

Good luck to you.

[Vacuum]

29 minutes ago, Rugon said:

The guy asked for translation, and as you couldn't do it, you decided to offer advice though it wasn't asked for. Get a life. I wonder if you're another long-term expat that still can't read Thai.

So, let us have the 'translation' please.

Edited January 4, 2019 by Vacuum

[OneMoreFarang]

Please publish a couple of pictures of her. Then we can all think about when and where we saw her.

But think twice if you really want to know...

[mikehongpark]

38 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Get out. Get out now. You are a very fortunate man, that you found this conversation, and have forewarning. You would be an absolute fool to move forward. There are plenty of good Thai women out there. Do not marry one who is already having affairs (and I do say plural, as the tendency is there, so one or a dozen, virtually no difference), and save yourself some agony. Just walk away. Now. If she questions you, just say you do not know who I am, you do not appreciate or respect me, and you do not deserve me. See ya, but I wouldn't want to be ya!

 

Later alligator. That is all you need to do. DO NOT move forward.

Thanks for the advice. That is what I am planning. But I think that her parents need to know the reason why as well as I have developed quite a good relationship with her parents. 

[Neeranam]

Wow, never seen such a hot topic on the Thai language forum in 15 years!

 

One reason why learning to speak and read Thai can save your life.

 

OP, it looks like your woman is up to no good and is lying to you. She doesn't want a sexual relationship with you, but this Zen guy. Have you asked her?

 

 

I'm not going to give you relationship advice as in my experience, even after telling some guy that his wife is cheating on him, they never believe me.

[MrPatrickThai]

8 minutes ago, mikehongpark said:

Any other ideas to get even? I know that she can't pay me back 35 mil baht, nor will she. She doesn't have a sister. Maybe, I'll go calling on some of her Facebook friend while I'm in Thailand.

I did think about going through with the wedding, but surprise her with a "Reveal of her cheating Ways" party. But that's another 350K bahts to pay for the remaining balance for the wedding reception.

Why can't you read Thai if you've been dating her for years?

[mikehongpark]

32 minutes ago, realenglish1 said:

Go to Fiverr.com  and find someone to translate They will do it for $5 easy problem solved dude Then you will know the truth

Thank you. I will do that, just to make sure. I do have some Thai friends but it's too personal.

[mikehongpark]

29 minutes ago, jadee said:

If you've already resorted to going through her phone and copying her chats, it's probably safe to say that marriage shouldn't be an option!

No, not her phone. My laptop, as we met up for a European vacation 2 months ago. The password to her FaceBook was saved on my laptop. I became suspicious because she recently went on a trip to Moscow, but I never saw the female friend that she was supposed to be sharing the room with. And she just got mad when I questioned her about her female friend. 

[ratcatcher]

I developed a blister on my finger after scrolling down 2 miles of transcript by the OP.. 

Get out now while you can. This is only going to end in blood, sweat or tears.

[jak2002003]

OP.  No need for all this agonising.  Just end the relationship and walk away, cut all contact.  Move on with you life.

 

You say you have wasted your 4 years... but in reality you have not.

 

You must have enjoyed it most of the time, and the money your spent was for that enjoyment, the price you felt was right to pay.  You have also gained valuable life experience and will be in a stronger position in your future relationships.

 

As for your 30 people coming from America, so what?  Marriages get cancelled all the time, people change their plants.  Those 30 people won't be annoyed or upset at you, but some will be sorry for you, which is nice and what friends do.  

 

If you ever get to a point in a relationship when you are spying on your other half, checking texts and the rest, that that is the point the relationship is over.

 

As for revenge party thing that is just really dumb, waste of money, will make you look a fool and a bad person in front of you 30 friends, and will haunt your the rest of your life.

 

As for trusting other women.... now you know you can't trust anyone 100 percent, woman or man,  that's normal human nature.  Most people can't even trust themselves.  But you will find a good person with a conscience in the end.

 

PS, advise to meet girls to get married to on Tinder or the internet is idiotic.  Meet someone in real day to day life you stand more of a chance of finding a real partner, not someone who is a butterfly or just after money.  

[mikehongpark]

34 minutes ago, stevkob said:

Be a lot more than 100k if you'd stayed with her, she'd have sucked you dry.

Those 30 friends will understand, if they don't then they're not real friends.

Thanks. She's already been throwing around the idea of buying her a Chanel purse. She just got a Gucci purse 2 months ago, where I only paid half since we are supposed to saving for a wedding. I kind of feel that all my friends will understand, but I feel so bad that all these people took time off from their jobs to attend my wedding and paid for flights and hotels.

[saminoz]

3 minutes ago, mikehongpark said:

No, not her phone. My laptop, as we met up for a European vacation 2 months ago. The password to her FaceBook was saved on my laptop. I became suspicious because she recently went on a trip to Moscow, but I never saw the female friend that she was supposed to be sharing the room with. And she just got mad when I questioned her about her female friend. 

I think you're toast but try the acid test.

Either straight out ask her or, if you're brave enough, flat out accuse her.

The first should produce tears and a lot of emotion if she's not cheating, the second, in my experience, will produce a crap load of anger and possibly some violence, if you really have caught her out!

Either way, as I said, you're already toast so move on.

[cyberfarang]

15 minutes ago, mikehongpark said:

Thanks for the advice. That is what I am planning. But I think that her parents need to know the reason why as well as I have developed quite a good relationship with her parents. 

I would wager that her parents are in with this as well, don`t trust any of them.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, mercman24 said:

ok we see lots of happy stories on here, but i think the bad ones far outweigh the good ones

Never seen any 'happy stories', but I've certainly been told a few, usually by guys that seem to be delusional fools.

[Hummin]

20 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

 

I'm not going to give you relationship advice as in my experience, even after telling some guy that his wife is cheating on him, they never believe me.

I have stopped giving advises, have tried to tell even one of my best friends what they do is stupid. They all react with anger against me, so better let the time work for me, and pick up the pieces later! 

 

Stupid men

[Neeranam]

Love the bit where he tells her to delete it!

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, mikehongpark said:

Thanks for all the replies. It's just hard to just let go without being sure as I have vested around $100K into this relationship in the last 4 years. Also, I have put down payments for the banquet hall, dress rentals, photographer, backdrop, hotel, and etc.... Yeah, I know that I'm a dumbass for not checking up on her sooner. Waste of 4 years and a broken heart and things like this make a person numb to emotions and will be hard to trust another person, at least for awhile. Need to learn that trust is earned, not given.

More than $2k per month? That must be true love.

Maybe spent another $1k on tequilas for the girls and enjoy life for a day or two. Then you won't miss her anymore and I am sure another one will love you too much.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

4 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

I would wager that her parents are in with this as well, don`t trust any of them.

 

Yep. The OP didn't develop any relationship with her parents. If he did the girl would not be a scamming cheating ho. It's probably just another lie waiting for a payout.

 

Regardless, Thai womans loyalty will always be to her parents. You telling them what they already know is going to be a major joke or worse may get you "injured" for the loss of face.

 

What I would do is string her along, not say anything and just not show up for the wedding ????

[xylophone]

2 hours ago, mikehongpark said:

Have around 30 confirmed booking from the USA to Thailand. Guess, I will have to go to Thailand anyways and treat it like a vacation with 30 friends

That is one idea, the other might be to try and recoup the booking deposits, or reschedule flights to another destination for a big party. 

 

2 hours ago, mikehongpark said:

However, it's going to be a nightmare to break this news to all my people and family.

It will take just a few minutes to break the news, saving you years of hassle and torment........I know which I would prefer!

 

PS. Just had a guy I know whose live in g/f of 7 yrs has left him, along with a few hundred thousand baht of his business money...........he never thought she would, although the signs had been there for some time. She played the long game and he didn't know.

Edited January 4, 2019 by xylophone