Hi guys.

 

So this coming April I plan on volunteering for 6 months in the Thai military as a conscript. But, I need some assistance because of all the various beatings and deaths I’ve been hearing about. I’ve been having constant arguments with my family members over this, but they claim that things have changed in the military and hazings/brutal beatings have been alleviated. I don’t believe this, but they’ve been communicating with a military officer that’s a nephew of one of my uncles. 

 

This is not a post asking for how to avoid conscription. I need to go through with it and I plan on volunteering for 6 months to get it over with. I can’t pay anybody because I have no connections in my district (plus my uncle’s nephew is in a different district so he can’t help me) and leaving the country would leave me homeless as all my funds and properties are in Thailand, not the UK. Plus, I’ve been tested at the army hospital and have been denied wavers because I’m told I’m fit for service.

 

Thing is, I need some advice on how to succeed as a conscript, preferably from some of you guys that have been through the whole process. I’m very weak and feeble, slightly overweight and barely even able to lift large amounts of objects without hurting.my arms. My verbal Thai is a bit rusty at times though I can speak it quite fluently, however I can’t read or write the language. I also have major allergies when it comes to dust and can be seen sneezing non stop at times (but the doctors say this is perfectly normal for cadets). I just want to know more about the experience and what I should prepare beforehand before I serve. Anything I should know in order to avoid punishments? Which division, location or service should I choose (seeing as you can do that as a volunteer) to make things less taxing for me? While I am slightly excited at the prospect of earning some cash, I’m also really terrified.

Pretend to be gay and you'll end up in an officer's house as a servant

Pretend you can't understand/speak/read/write Thai.

31 minutes ago, Fullmetal said:

I need to go through with it and I plan on volunteering for 6 months to get it over with.

You have had a medical you are volunteering so just get on with it.

37 minutes ago, ThaiBunny said:

Pretend to be gay and you'll end up in an officer's house as a servant

Dude, I’m serious about this

Just now, Fullmetal said:

Dude, I’m serious about this

So am I. It's the advice from all the gay boys I know who've been conscripted

Another thing I should ask is: should I join the army, navy or airforce? Which is apparently the easiest to cheese through for 3 months of basic?

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

Pretend you can't understand/speak/read/write Thai.

That's what I was thinking.  Works well for me, especially with the cops, they just roll their eyes and wave me through.  ????

18 hours ago, Fullmetal said:

Another thing I should ask is: should I join the army, navy or airforce? Which is apparently the easiest to cheese through for 3 months of basic?

That would interest me too regarding my son, I have heard (but don't know) that either the navy or the air force is preferable to the army, the air force being the easiest. 

at least in the falang world; unfit types seem more prevalent, and more acceptable in the ranks (in the navy)

 

but here? hmmm...  

take a drive to the Naval base near Rayong (where the JumpJet Carrier is;  and take a trip up the Doi a few clicks west of there (and as a bonus you get a complete scenic view of all the berthed ships).

The navy dudes are like ants on a mound hill, swarming up that torture road, looking as if they are enjoying it!  They even impart the image of being tough nut Navy Seal types!

You only do 6 months when volunteering if you have a degree. No degree and you do one year.

20 hours ago, Fullmetal said:

I’m very weak and feeble, slightly overweight and barely even able to lift large amounts of objects without hurting.my arms. My verbal Thai is a bit rusty at times though I can speak it quite fluently, however I can’t read or write the language. I also have major allergies when it comes to dust and can be seen sneezing non stop at times (

Dude, the army might be exactly what you need. 

20 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Pretend you can't understand/speak/read/write Thai.

Too late for that, he's done his medical!

3 minutes ago, metempsychotic said:

Dude, the army might be exactly what you need. 

555 having volunteered in a conscription country, I have to agree! Where I was, you could pick the service branch if you volunteered, Army, Police (more or less still the army, but you were treated like an officer and a gentleman, not a grunt) or Air Force, I chose the cops.

OP can you get to choose the Air Force? Definitely a softer option than slogging up jungle hills etc.

19 hours ago, Fullmetal said:

Another thing I should ask is: should I join the army, navy or airforce? Which is apparently the easiest to cheese through for 3 months of basic?

For what it's worth, as a Brit serving in the armed forces, the Air Force was definitely the easiest of the three. I did two years. Pretty cushy after basic training.

He would have been exempt if he had visible tattoos.

http://www.thaicitizenship.com/thai-military-service/

Pretend severe shortcomings in Thai language by putting every second word into English. A gayish impression helps too; you might get thrown out as too much trouble could be expected. Huble, devot, just a hopeless look krueng - this should sort you.

21 minutes ago, Sydebolle said:

Pretend severe shortcomings in Thai language by putting every second word into English. A gayish impression helps too; you might get thrown out as too much trouble could be expected. Huble, devot, just a hopeless look krueng - this should sort you.

This is good advice but make sure it's the RTAF you serve in, and in addition to presenting a gay demeanour, ask if you can join the kite flying (chak waaw, ชักว่าว) division; that should ensure an easy berth.  

Hmmm ....reading this post about a guy who is a Thai citizen, but cant read or write Thai. Speaks rusty but quite fluent Thai....?

 

Do you have no Thai friends of a similar age who can advise you on their experience as a conscript?

You must have spent a lot of your life in another country?And do you have no dual citizenship?

 

If your tale of woe is true then it sounds like you are far beyond being helped by a simple dose of cement pills.

Suggest to get yourself in the gym to harden up a bit and also  the classroom to learn some Thai.

 

But in regard to your story i  think  "if it dont smell right you dont eat it" comes to mind.

 

Thanks guys.

 

And for that matter, yes I will be volunteering as my district is too large to guarantee a low amount of red balls and I will be choosing the Air Force as a division. 

3 hours ago, thelovedone said:

Hmmm ....reading this post about a guy who is a Thai citizen, but cant read or write Thai. Speaks rusty but quite fluent Thai....?

 

Do you have no Thai friends of a similar age who can advise you on their experience as a conscript?

You must have spent a lot of your life in another country?And do you have no dual citizenship?

 

If your tale of woe is true then it sounds like you are far beyond being helped by a simple dose of cement pills.

Suggest to get yourself in the gym to harden up a bit and also  the classroom to learn some Thai.

 

But in regard to your story i  think  "if it dont smell right you dont eat it" comes to mind.

 

 

He said he had UK citizenship further up. As half-Thais are, even if they wanted, very difficult to enroll in Thai schools, quite some of these kids attend schools with international programmes or international schools; albeit costlier but definitely more capable to provide basic education to kids. 

Thai language does differ completely from any indogerman language structure in grammar, conjugation etc. Thai is a tonal language, unlike any indogerman language - all this makes it not easy to learn Thai. 

Some half-Thai kids are, by law of their other citizenship, not allowed to serve in the Thai army. Apart from that, there is not much to be learnt in the Thai army which stays of lasting value for the recruit's life later on. 

4 hours ago, Liverpudlian said:

He would have been exempt if he had visible tattoos.

So that's why so many young Thai guys have tattoos, and here was me thinking they were just copying these old, fat, ugly western codgers. ????

 

Dear Fullmetal,

I congratulate you on your decision to proceed to honour your country and serve as required. My son has gone the High School 3 year ROTC route, but is still considering service after High School; although, it may be a foreign military and not in Thailand.

 

Nothing wrong with the Air Force as you have chosen, but I would have recommended the Navy. Their training would be more rigorous, but I'd be scared to death of flying around in a Thai Air Force plane, which I'm sure you will be doing a lot.

 

All that crap about acting like a homosexual, don't do it. Just be who you are and learn all you can.

 

Good Luck!!!

A good start would be to get yourself fit. Work your way up to running 5 km a day, and work on weight training in the gym. Eat a balanced healthy diet.

Since you knew you were volunteering and had physical shortcomings you should have gotten into a gym 3 months ago and trained with eights and done aerobics or running. Air force or Navy would be easier but all the basic training is about the same.

Ok.  So as a veteran who has been though it - learn to be a man.  Learn to be part of the unit.  Function with a single mind.  Learn to endure pain without whining. Laugh it off, it comes with the territory.  Earn the respect of those around you.  If you act like a victim - you'll be a victim.  So act like a soldier.  Be a team member.  Grow a set.  Mature.  You'll come out the other end more of a man than you are today.  And you'll be different than everyone of your friends who did not enlist.  And when you get there, you'll understand exactly what I just said.  Good luck, kid.

On 3/24/2019 at 12:51 PM, Fullmetal said:

Another thing I should ask is: should I join the army, navy or airforce? Which is apparently the easiest to cheese through for 3 months of basic?

Air Force.

 

8 hours ago, Sydebolle said:

Pretend severe shortcomings in Thai language by putting every second word into English. A gayish impression helps too; you might get thrown out as too much trouble could be expected. Huble, devot, just a hopeless look krueng - this should sort you.

But then you could actually man-up and you may find you've become a different person at the end of the journey, ie, mature, able to endure adversity, goal oriented, stronger, more resilient, and more of a man than you are today.

Have you ever thought of being a ladyboy? That might get you out of it.