Materialistic Values

[marshbags]

When i first started coming to Thailand for longer visits with my new family.

I packed all the usual trappings small enough relating to materialistic values we all know about in our U. K. culture and put them in a safe place. ( Jewellery ect. )

From time to time i do a visual check to see they are still intact and forget about them until next time.

They are now allocated via a will to my daughter and my brother.

For me my values and priorities have changed completely and by comparison i live a low key way of life.

Thanks to living here as and when i can which are months at a time, i find the things i took for granted are now really important to me.

Due to culture and work / family support ect. fathers and husbands in my discipline as well as many others required us to spend long periods away from home and therefore we didn,t have much time to spend with our respective families and really get to know them.

Many would then spend a fair amount of time at the local pub, culture being what it was and still to some extent exists today.

I now am fortunate enough to do the reverse and spend quality time with my new family and everything else in the materialistic sense as to what we wear ect. don,t mean a thing.

I don,t do the bars ect. and personally don,t feel the need to do so and i honestly couldn,t be happier

( most of the time as we still have the usual upsets as every family do and is normal. )

Yes, i know, boring old fart to those who do have the odd tipple.

Of course we have T.V. ect. but in comparison to what people want in the U.K., our needs are few.

Health and contentment are the top priority for myself and hoping to spend a good few years watching my daughter grow up and seeing my wife and her progress and bond into maturity, so they can support each other, hopefully that is. when i no longer can.

Anyone interested in sharing their values and priorities please post, i for one would love to read about them.

marshbags

Edited March 12, 2007 by marshbags

[Mid]

this ain't a rehearsal ,

and

your a long time dead

[Pepe']

When i first started coming to Thailand for longer visits with my new family.

I packed all the usual trappings small enough relating to materialistic values we all know about in our U. K. culture and put them in a safe place. ( Jewellery ect. )

From time to time i do a visual check to see they are still intact and forget about them until next time.

They are now allocated via a will to my daughter and my brother.

For me my values and priorities have changed completely and by comparison i live a low key way of life.

Thanks to living here as and when i can which are months at a time, i find the things i took for granted are now really important to me.

Due to culture and work / family support ect. fathers and husbands in my discipline as well as many others required us to spend long periods away from home and therefore we didn,t have much time to spend with our respective families and really get to know them.

Many would then spend a fair amount of time at the local pub, culture being what it was and still to some extent exists today.

I now am fortunate enough to do the reverse and spend quality time with my new family and everything else in the materialistic sense as to what we wear ect. don,t mean a thing.

I don,t do the bars ect. and personally don,t feel the need to do so and i honestly couldn,t be happier

( most of the time as we still have the usual upsets as every family do and is normal. )

Yes, i know, boring old fart to those who do have the odd tipple.

Of course we have T.V. ect. but in comparison to what people want in the U.K., our needs are few.

Health and contentment are the top priority for myself and hoping to spend a good few years watching my daughter grow up and seeing my wife and her progress and bond into maturity, so they can support each other, hopefully that is. when i no longer can.

Anyone interested in sharing their values and priorities please post, i for one would love to read about them.

marshbags

No you're not boring at all man. Sounds like your getting the right perspective on things.

Materialism? Like the song says, "all we are is dust in the wind."

[Heng]

What's a materialistic value? Having material doesn't necessarily mean one is materialistic.

Priorities:

1) A sometimes easy, sometimes difficult, balance between (in no particular order): wife, parents, cousins, in-laws, self, and arriving in less than a month: first born child.

[cdnvic]

Of course I'm materialistic. I like things, and acquiring them.

The secret is to know that there are a lot more important things to put first.

[Boo]

My husband gets amused when he hears on tv (tele) when farang talk about thailand & that they love that thai people are so unmaterialist & how they live the simple life. (usually a crappy travel show with backpackers or "hippy" style tourists thinking that patpong or rice farming are the only 2 lifestlyes the thais live )

His response is cause they (majority poor thais) probably can't afford all the latest gadgets but given the budget would lap them all up.

Wanting toys or nice things is fine but it doesn't mean that the want or need for the nice things in life make you materialistic IMO. As vic says, as long as you know there are other things more important & to appricate them too, then life has a balance.

Sounds like you have found a nice balance marshbags so don't worry about the people who want more "things" in life than you but don't forget that the little luxuries now & then make a nice change too.

[GuestHouse]

What's a materialistic value? Having material doesn't necessarily mean one is materialistic.

OK, but as Boo points out above, not having material doesn't mean one is not materialistic.

My observation of the Thais is (sweeping generalization) they are obsessively materialistic.

Hence the reason so many Thais are laden with debt for telephones, cars, trinkets of any kind.

[webbew]

Show me someone who thinks thai's aren't materialistic and I'll show you a green horn from Omaha coming off their very first five day wind tour of Krung Tep, Ko Samui, Ko Sumai, Chaing Mai and Phuket.

[garro]

I have never really been materialistic and this probably explains why I don't have many possesions. This is just me and nothing to do with staying in Thailand. Money burns a hole in my pocket. I don't own anything that I am not prepared to lose. My philosophy is that it is better to reduce my wants than try to satisfy them.

I can often glamorize poverty in my head but I realise that it is not that glamorous when you don't have a choice.

Many Thais do like to have possessions and security is very important to many. This is true even in a Thai village. We have a child on the way so my wife would like a bit more security but her needs are quite simple. As long as I have enough to eat I'm fine but I want my wife and child to have what ever will make their life comfortable.

[GuestHouse]

This is another one of those topics where it really helps to speak Thai.

Once that is mastered you'll be surprised how soon you become utterly bored stiff of Thais droning on about money and the latests 'must have'.

[Jim's_a_Thai_Fox]

It never bothered me going from earning 35k GBP a year in the UK to less than 5k GBP in Thailand. I was lucky in that I had managed to accumulate 'things'...but still found myself coming up short.

I suppose that when you have never had the opportunity to find out first hand that 'things' really aren't that important, they do remain a big priority - hence the Thai's (being relatively poor) having a large materialistic nature. Can't blame 'em, that's for sure - why can't they have what we do?

As for me, well, I try not to feed the green eyed monster, but do get a twinge every now and then, especially when I hear the salaries that my former employees now make. But do they have a high quality of life just because they have the HD plasma tv?

I've made a choice to try to find 'inner happiness' over the acquisition of things (apart from the Honda I recently bought). But I hold nothing against anyone else for making their own choices - we each must walk our own path.

[Donz]

Im definately not materialistic, someone could steal my car and i will just think arrr fark it (unless i catch the farker)

to me ALL females are materialistic. i mean sheet why else eould girls have 20 hand bags and 70 pairs of shoes.

[marshbags]

What's a materialistic value? Having material doesn't necessarily mean one is materialistic.

OK, but as Boo points out above, not having material doesn't mean one is not materialistic.

My observation of the Thais is (sweeping generalization) they are obsessively materialistic.

Hence the reason so many Thais are laden with debt for telephones, cars, trinkets of any kind.

Materialistic in the sense i mean is putting material things at the top of your priority list.

Thai,s if i can say so without being controversial are a great example of what life is like back home with the younger generation mainly, but suprisingly lot,s of older people are just the same.

They are obsessed with them on a similar basis and again get into debt big time to possess things like designer clothes, jewellery and the latest mobiles and seperate MP3 material and ipods.

Anything other than the very best / most expensive, they will not even look at it ????????????

The older ones generally raise their sights on bigger things like luxury housing, refitting them and expensive cars ect.

I think all the posts here are great and each in some way highlights the reasons for wanting them while considering the human factors at the same time.

The general and most sensible observation i can think of is that of knowing there are a lot more important things in life to put first.

Cndvic puts it in perspective in 2 sentences.

The lovely photo MID has posted also says a thousand words and sums it up nicely for me, personally.

I still have a T.V. Ubc and a computer

( my daughter gets loads of important imput from them, English in particular. )

There are also the mobile and pick up which are essential items in our case.

The designer stuff and all the trimmings relating to appearance are of no importance what so ever and so long as my gear is clean and presentable i,m content.

You ought to see my designer footwear...............120 baht flip flops and 250 baht sandals.

I don,t wear socks, honest.............it,s your choice for those who do and no offence intended.

How nice it is though to appreciate life and family and to have the luxury of time that is more available due to our present lifestyle. ( The fortunate ones of course )

How lucky to discover and observe all the simple things that we took for granted before, while we are able to enjoy them.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and keeping the thread light hearted, i,m really pleased it generated some interest and pleasantly suprised.

marshbags and

Edited March 13, 2007 by marshbags

[Donz]

I dont think Thai's are really that much more materialistic then Farangs. Farangs get into alot of debt to with financing cars and going on phone plans when they cant afford it, especially the young ones.

Most Farangs have more money and probaly wont get into debt as easy, but im sure the poorer farang countries are pretty much the same.

[gummy]

How predictable that yet again ,like clockwork, the posters question, which was - "Anyone interested in sharing their values and priorities please post, I for one would love to read about them" has become misconstrued and turned into a"lets knock the Thais" by the few.

Having lived here for almost 2 decades, prior to that worked and lived on 3 other continents for periods of up to 8 years at a time, and prior to that being brought up and working in the UK, I found that nowhere is no more or no less materialistic than elswhere. Granted that in South America, like parts of Asia the importance is on having for example better TV rather then a top of the range laptop but that is because their requirements, or at least perceived requirements, are influenced by local conditions, trends and traditions. Whereas in US and Europe it's more the "Boys Toys" things that currently take precedence.

As for decrying anyone, then that it my opionion is being too judgemental ,but in answer to the question, than I am no better or no worse than most when those "I really need to have" items are purchased and later one questions the logic in the original purchase. The individuals importance for material things comes about through society conditioning . I have not had experience of living and working anyway where that has not been the case.

Edited March 13, 2007 by gummy

[meadish_sweetball]

I think I have become more obsessed with material things since I moved here. In some ways. I realize the importance of always being in the black, because here there is no functioning fall-back mechanism if you mess up.

On the other hand, learning a little more about Buddhism, I have become better at letting go of things that, in the long run, are relatively unimportant.

So I am not very obsessed with stuff, but I work hard to have enough money to obtain the things I do want - like being able to travel - but collecting experiences is also materialistic in a way...

[qwertz]

I think I have become more obsessed with material things since I moved here. In some ways. I realize the importance of always being in the black, because here there is no functioning fall-back mechanism if you mess up.

On the other hand, learning a little more about Buddhism, I have become better at letting go of things that, in the long run, are relatively unimportant.

So I am not very obsessed with stuff, but I work hard to have enough money to obtain the things I do want - like being able to travel - but collecting experiences is also materialistic in a way...

Looking back, some of the best times in my life have been when I had the least money or possessions. Conversely, some of the worst were times when no amount of money could make things right.

[Heng]

What's a materialistic value? Having material doesn't necessarily mean one is materialistic.

OK, but as Boo points out above, not having material doesn't mean one is not materialistic.

My observation of the Thais is (sweeping generalization) they are obsessively materialistic.

Hence the reason so many Thais are laden with debt for telephones, cars, trinkets of any kind.

Oh, I wasn't defending the have-nots who want to have material possessions by any means. I was referring to the Thais (and people of ALL nationalities) who are 'haves' and indeed have things that others may look upon as material things, without necessarily being materialistic.

[chownah]

I'm really materialistic. I like some material really alot.....take cow manure for instance....I really can't get enough of that stuff. Every other day I go over to my Uncle's cow house and scoop up all that I can find!!! If there was twice as much then I'd take that too.........Hey, man....got any good sh1t?

[bingobongo]

Here is a quote that may or may not be relevant to thailand,

Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car...Gobble up the latest toy...You know how I always interpreted that? These people were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship. ~MS

Edited March 13, 2007 by bingobongo

[gummy]

Here is a quote that may be relevant to thailand,

Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car...Gobble up the latest toy...You know how I always interpreted that? These people were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship. ~MS

Well that be so for those of us who have a materialistic tendency, but I get all the love I need from my Wife and family, whereas my cars, computers, camcorders, Hi-Fi, Plasma etc etc have one distinct advantage that they do not have - they ( my toys ) never disagree with me.

Edited March 13, 2007 by gummy

[chownah]

Bingobongo,

you are absolutely right about this....I do expect the manure to hug me back but it never works out....I'm still working on developing a sense of comradship with it and I'll let you know how it works out.

Chownah

P.S. I think materialism is all about taking some things too serioiusly...this can be said for material things and it can be said for posting here on ThaiVisa too.

Chownah

Edited March 13, 2007 by chownah

[gummy]

Bingobongo,

you are absolutely right about this....I do expect the manure to hug me back but it never works out....I'm still working on developing a sense of comradship with it and I'll let you know how it works out.

Chownah

P.S. I think materialism is all about taking some things too serioiusly...this can be said for material things and it can be said for posting here on ThaiVisa too.

Chownah

Give yourself a cow-pat on the back for devotion

[jetjock]

I have found that it is easy for me to be opposed to materialism once I have all the toys I want !

[popshirt]

Several years ago I visited a farang friend in Bangkok and was astonished to find that he lived in what I considered a squalid apartment block. It was dreary, dirty, noisy and far too "native" for me. I knew this friend when he had a beautiful home in Southern California and I couldn't believe he could be happy in such reduced circumstances. Well guess what? Now I am living in the same building, happy as a clam, eating off of plastic plates, cooking on a one-burner, hanging out laundry on the balcony, doing my own cleaning, and y'know what? I am enjoying it. It's been almost a year now and I have no intention of returning to hi-so living. This is not a boast at all, I am just so delighted that I seemed to have turned a corner (for me) and finally found that I don't need a lot of things and certainly not luxury to be content. I have Thailand to thank for this because I could not live in such a building and neighbourhood in the west without fearing for my life.

[Pepe']

Several years ago I visited a farang friend in Bangkok and was astonished to find that he lived in what I considered a squalid apartment block. It was dreary, dirty, noisy and far too "native" for me. I knew this friend when he had a beautiful home in Southern California and I couldn't believe he could be happy in such reduced circumstances. Well guess what? Now I am living in the same building, happy as a clam, eating off of plastic plates, cooking on a one-burner, hanging out laundry on the balcony, doing my own cleaning, and y'know what? I am enjoying it. It's been almost a year now and I have no intention of returning to hi-so living. This is not a boast at all, I am just so delighted that I seemed to have turned a corner (for me) and finally found that I don't need a lot of things and certainly not luxury to be content. I have Thailand to thank for this because I could not live in such a building and neighbourhood in the west without fearing for my life.

-----------------------------------------------------

Hey popshirt,

I live in SoCal so I understand exactly what your saying.

I can also relate directly to your experience having lived in India, Puerto Rico and some extended stays in Thailand living under similar/native conditions that you describe.

In some of the old Pali text it is described that "renunciation and simple living are the wealth of the brahmins/monks."

Those were happy and care free days...

Good Health,

Pepe

[Pepe']

I think I have become more obsessed with material things since I moved here. In some ways. I realize the importance of always being in the black, because here there is no functioning fall-back mechanism if you mess up.

On the other hand, learning a little more about Buddhism, I have become better at letting go of things that, in the long run, are relatively unimportant.

So I am not very obsessed with stuff, but I work hard to have enough money to obtain the things I do want - like being able to travel - but collecting experiences is also materialistic in a way...

Looking back, some of the best times in my life have been when I had the least money or possessions. Conversely, some of the worst were times when no amount of money could make things right.

------------------

Exactly...

[Austhaied]

I'm really materialistic. I like some material really alot.....take cow manure for instance....I really can't get enough of that stuff. Every other day I go over to my Uncle's cow house and scoop up all that I can find!!! If there was twice as much then I'd take that too.........Hey, man....got any good sh1t?

Have you been smoking it as well.. :D

[marshbags]

Back home in my neck of the woods anyone who is referred to as materialistic is in the extreme, someone who is obsessed with owning fashionable and normally expensive possessions rather than ones relating to life, nature and all that it provides us with.

Thailand for me has made me even more appreciative of natures wonders.

I tend to glance up, at the top of buildings, trees and architecture ect ect. instead of down or in front all the time.

I will stop if i see something of interest to look further at whatever i find interesting.

I am more observant of the simple things here and now as a result of this.

When i am back home in the U.K. i now enjoy the open green areas all around.

The flowers and all the varying, yet individual essences released into the air.

Not having to worry about mosquitoes.

Going walk about without overheating and the fresh smell of cut grass.

Thanks to Thailand these simple things and the awareness of what,s around us are gifts that cost me nothing.

These are my new possessions along with the most important of all these, my family and watching them develop and having time that in the past was spent in the pub related environment and taking home life for granted.

Each to his own enjoyments and pleasures goes without saying of course.

Mine are a lot more humble thanks again to Thailand.

marshbags

Edited March 14, 2007 by marshbags

[bendix]

Here is a quote that may or may not be relevant to thailand,

Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car...Gobble up the latest toy...You know how I always interpreted that? These people were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship. ~MS

Oh gawd, another neo-Freudian.

Here's another view. Perhaps they wanted the new car, the new toy because . .well . . .they appreciated nice things? It's a stretch, I know, usually the simple explanations are nearest to the truth.

I don't think people are that complicated. Some are romantics. Some are adventurors. Some are bigots. And most of us - myself included - are as shallow as a puddle on a Bangkok pavement in April.