The perfect marriage

[sirineou]

Best friends, do and go everywhere together.

Neither one of as are perfect , The secret to a good marriage is to accept each other as we are, and not try to change eachother.

Well OK try a litle , but know when to back off.

[Pharoticus]

2 hours ago, Airalee said:

I have noticed that also.  The passive aggressive putdowns especially when they cast the blanket of blame over the guys and then go on to tell us about their wonderful lives.

 

I’m not sure if it is so much as they have the perfect relationships/homes/lives/toys (it’s not just the perfect relationships they put on display) as much as it is a textbook display of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

RE: a textbook display of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

 

Per Medical News Today

 

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/9741.php

 

Narcissistic personality disorder involves a distorted self-image. Emotions can be unstable and intense, and there is excessive concern with vanity, prestige, power, and personal adequacy. There also tends to be a lack of empathy and an exaggerated sense of superiority.

 

Traits:

 

1. A tendency to consider themselves as skilled in romance
2. Responding to criticism with anger, humiliation, and shame

 

Per Mayo Clinic

 

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662

 

Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration.

 

Symptoms:

 

1. Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance
2. Exaggerate achievements and talents
3. Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
4. Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people

[villagefarang]

So the idea is to marry drug addicts, alcoholics, cheaters, thieves, abusers, hookers and tell everyone how shitty your life is and how normal that is.  Sorry I do not consider that normal at all and I guess that makes me a terrible person in the eyes of some on here.

 

Some say it is easy to paint a rosy picture but I put this topic up as an example that it is the exact opposite.  Bragging about how shitty your life is and how bad women are seems to garner much more support.  What the heck, if it makes you feel better about yourself to call me a liar and worse when I am only telling the truth, go for it.????

[villagefarang]

On 6/14/2019 at 2:59 AM, geronimo said:

We hear so many sob stories on this forum, so I thought I'd start a thread for the guys who have the perfect relationship.

 

I've been with my Thai wife for 27 years now and cannot remember the last time we even had a cross word. Admittedly, the first few years were tough, but once we got through that, it was downhill all the way.

 

I believe that a good relationship is all about give and take, and if you aren't prepared to invest the time in culturing the relationship, it is likely to suffer at some point, and I'm betting there's lots of guys who have a great relationship with their other half.

So this is where it all started. The OP betting there were lots of other guys just like him who have great relationships with their other half.  More than a few happy campers braved the angry masses to agree with the OP.  I am not the OP nor the focus of this thread, so can we get back on topic and hear from other happy people in great relationships?????

[473geo]

I would venture to suggest many failed relationships are indeed a result of an "exaggerated sense of self importance" thus a product of Narcissistic personality disorder coupled with a tendency to consider themselves as skilled in romance - unfortunately misconceived

 

Successful relationships tend to require persons able to accept equal status, an ability to accept others have input and relevance

[Gecko123]

5 hours ago, villagefarang said:

So the idea is to marry drug addicts, alcoholics, cheaters, thieves, abusers, hookers and tell everyone how shitty your life is and how normal that is. 

You left ladyboys out.

[rumak]

  11 hours ago, Airalee said:

I have noticed that also.  The passive aggressive putdowns especially when they cast the blanket of blame over the guys and then go on to tell us about their wonderful lives.

 

now doubling down and getting downright aggressive and farcical

[BritManToo]

8 hours ago, villagefarang said:

Bragging about how shitty your life is and how bad women are seems to garner much more support. 

That's because it's normal female behaviour, and what we all usually experience.

[Tomahawk21]

On 6/15/2019 at 9:43 AM, villagefarang said:

I understand it is bad form to break ranks but I place most of the blame on how clueless most guys are. 

never a truer word spoken on this forum.

[villagefarang]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

9 hours ago, villagefarang said:

Bragging about how shitty your life is and how bad women are seems to garner much more support. 

That's because it's normal female behaviour, and what we all usually experience.

I understand that may have been your experience but fortunately not all of us view women as interchangeable pieces of meat.  Perhaps our differing approaches to women help explain our different results in the relationship department.

[BritManToo]

18 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

Perhaps our differing approaches to women help explain our different results in the relationship department.

When did you last have sex with your wife.

I'm betting not in the last 7 days, probably not this month.

 

Normal answer is 'none of your business' which I always interpret as 'not this year'.

Living in a sexless relationship is not a happy marriage.

[colinneil]

8 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

When did you last have sex with your wife.

I'm betting not in the last 7 days, probably not this month.

Why do you consider that having sex is so important?

A marriage can be happy without the need just to have sex.

We have not had sex in nearly 6 years, and are just as happy now, as we were then.

[villagefarang]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

When did you last have sex with your wife.

I'm betting not in the last 7 days, probably not this month.

 

Normal answer is 'none of your business' which I always intemperate as 'not this year'.

That is a rude question but I will indulge you this once.  The answer is yesterday.  Prior to that she was having her period so it had been a week or so.  In a loving relationship there is a lot more to showing love and affection than simply sticking it in and dumping your load.  Even after 22 years we still have a fulfilling love life but it has evolved over the years.????‍❤️‍????????

 

Your fixation on the sex act reeks of desperation and insecurity.  

[cornishcarlos]

26 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

When did you last have sex with your wife.

I'm betting not in the last 7 days, probably not this month.

 

Normal answer is 'none of your business' which I always interpret as 'not this year'.

Living in a sexless relationship is not a happy marriage.

 

I'd like a bit less to be honest... She is a Duracel Bunny !!

I'm 47 and she is 37, which means she is in her prime and I could do with a rest ????

[BobBKK]

1 hour ago, cornishcarlos said:

 

I'd like a bit less to be honest... She is a Duracel Bunny !!

I'm 47 and she is 37, which means she is in her prime and I could do with a rest ????

Well that is part of the problem with the guys who feel their 30 year old is 'in love' with them at 60. Chickens come home to roost and when she's 35/40 and horny as hell he wants a nice cup of cocoa and watch the news. Imbalance!  but they never learn...

[myjawe]

On 6/14/2019 at 6:45 AM, BritManToo said:

No sex then?

 

This is how it ends for most guys who need a permanent maid at home. And this is why i prefer to change them often ❤️

 

 

[geronimo]

and just to throw a spanner in the works, we haven't had sex since the wife had her menopause 5 yrs ago, and as far as I'm concerned, we are both fine without the hot, sweaty stuff!

 

I bonked so many women, I don't seem to have the urge anymore!

[marcusarelus]

6 minutes ago, geronimo said:

and just to throw a spanner in the works, we haven't had sex since the wife had her menopause 5 yrs ago, and as far as I'm concerned, we are both fine without the hot, sweaty stuff!

 

I bonked so many women, I don't seem to have the urge anymore!

There is a lot to be said for not having sex with your wife.  I can't tell you the excuses I had to come up with for getting crabs and clap from a toilet seat.  I remember the day I found a crab while shopping at Lotus with the family.  Getting out of that one was a 3 act play/comedy.  

[geronimo]

3 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

There is a lot to be said for not having sex with your wife.  I can't tell you the excuses I had to come up with for getting crabs and clap from a toilet seat.  I remember the day I found a crab while shopping at Lotus with the family.  Getting out of that one was a 3 act play/comedy.  

That's why I squat on toilet seats

[geronimo]

To clarify my idea of a perfect marriage,

 

when you wouldn't swap your partner for anyone else, no matter what,

 

Reason I say that is many posters have rightly pointed out there's no such thing as a perfect person.

[Airalee]

6 hours ago, rumak said:

  11 hours ago, Airalee said:

I have noticed that also.  The passive aggressive putdowns especially when they cast the blanket of blame over the guys and then go on to tell us about their wonderful lives.

 

now doubling down and getting downright aggressive and farcical

Myself, I haven’t had any bad relationships here in Thailand.  My gf and I get along just fine.  We don’t drink, exercise together, communicate effectively etc.

 

But its not the people who have been screwed over that bother me.  I know some wonderful, honest, salt of the earth type people here in Thailand that have been screwed over...and not by “drug addicts, alcoholics, prostitutes blah blah blah”.  I have also known some scumbag guys that get their comeuppance.  It’s a two way street, but for some reason, the “perfect people” here just cannot seem to accept that.  It must be nice to be so wonderful.

 

The ones that instantly pounce on every opportunity to point out some guys flaws and paint with a brush a mile wide...those are the cringeworthy ones.

[geronimo]

1 minute ago, Airalee said:

Myself, I haven’t had any bad relationships here in Thailand.  My gf and I get along just fine.  We don’t drink, exercise together, communicate effectively etc.

 

But its not the people who have been screwed over that bother me.  I know some wonderful, honest, salt of the earth type people here in Thailand that have been screwed over...and not by “drug addicts, alcoholics, prostitutes blah blah blah”.  I have also known some scumbag guys that get their comeuppance.  It’s a two way street, but for some reason, the “perfect people” here just cannot seem to accept that.  It must be nice to be so wonderful.

 

The ones that instantly pounce on every opportunity to point out some guys flaws and paint with a brush a mile wide...those are the cringeworthy ones.

+1

[geronimo]

6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

 

Living in a sexless relationship is not a happy marriage.

I beg to differ on that one, and I'm sure there are others who'll back me up on that!

[villagefarang]

46 minutes ago, geronimo said:

6 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Living in a sexless relationship is not a happy marriage.

I beg to differ on that one, and I'm sure there are others who'll back me up on that!

Neither my wife nor my good self are anywhere near that stage of life but I am certain it would not be a deal breaker since there is so much more to our relationship than the sex act.

[marcusarelus]

2 hours ago, geronimo said:

I beg to differ on that one, and I'm sure there are others who'll back me up on that!

What does not having sex with your wife have to do with a sexless relationship?  

[Tomahawk21]

9 hours ago, Tomahawk21 said:

never a truer word spoken on this forum.

i see i got to sad emos from 2 clueless guys.????

[marcusarelus]

On 6/15/2019 at 11:49 AM, possum1931 said:

If you marry a Thai girl, buy her a house, car, motorbike etc, have a fridge kept full of cans of beer, then sit about drinking most of the time, can you blame her when the relationship ends and she eventually sees the light and ends up with someone else?

Or she might find out how you really feel about Thai people.  I know one poster who wrote, " lets just say that most of the Thais, not all, are not very bright, and have a sad lack of common sense."  Can you imagine how his wife feels.  

[NoshowJones]

My wife knows how I feel about Thai drivers and motorbike riders, and I'm not going to make any apologies about it.

I have always said that Thai people on the whole are decent, honest, people and also very non confrontational.

It is when they start driving and riding motorbikes, the sad lack of common sense shows. The road statistics shows that. 

[marcusarelus]

23 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

My wife knows how I feel about Thai drivers and motorbike riders, and I'm not going to make any apologies about it.

I have always said that Thai people on the whole are decent, honest, people and also very non confrontational.

It is when they start driving and riding motorbikes, the sad lack of common sense shows. The road statistics shows that. 

Oh my mistake, I thought you wrote, "most of the Thais, not all, are not very bright, and have a sad lack of common sense"  

[Curt1591]

My wife and I have been married for 18 years. We knew each other for 4 years prior to that.

I retired 15 years ago and we have since been together, pretty much, 24/7. We have had minor spats. But, they are quickly resolved and we move on. 

I think most failed relationships stem from people expecting the other person to fulfill some need or desire. IMHO, success, in a relationship, comes from giving, not taking.