Uncooperative ex wife

[justaphase]

I'm a single parent with two sons 8 and 6 from my Thai ex girlfriend. I have been looking after them on my own for 2 years here in Thailand and have continual difficulties because I dont have their documents. I need the birth certificates and I need to register them here in Bkk...but what are my 'possesive' rights? Can I get a birth certificate without her 'help'? I believe my youngest isn't even registered anywhere. Its a mess and I want the docs for their schooling/hospitals etc. 

[madmen]

Lawyer is the easiest option. She will change her tune when a letter arrives with impending court proceedings

[justaphase]

Taking her to court for what? Not giving the documents to me?

That's my point? Do I have rights as the single carer and provider?

[FritsSikkink]

You first need to be the legal father as you are not married, after that you can apply for 100% custody.

[justaphase]

13 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

You first need to be the legal father as you are not married, after that you can apply for 100% custody.

By getting 100% custody would I be able to do anything without her permission?

Any ideas how long/tricky/expensive getting custody is?

[blackcab]

It is unclear whether the children's mother was your wife or your girlfriend. You used the word wife in the subject of your post and girlfriend in the post itself.

 

If you were not married to your ex girlfriend you have no "possessory" rights. In fact you have no rights at all.

 

You need to legitimise the children. Click the link below to read a topic about this process:

 

 

[justaphase]

Aha I realise the confusion caused. Not my ex wife,,just ex gf. She want give consent to anything but anyone can see theyre my son's, and they'll say 'thats my dad, he does everything for us'. 

Again the point of the post is really t ok know if I can go to the place of birth and get certificates and then put them on a house book..

[FritsSikkink]

29 minutes ago, justaphase said:

Aha I realise the confusion caused. Not my ex wife,,just ex gf. She want give consent to anything but anyone can see theyre my son's, and they'll say 'thats my dad, he does everything for us'. 

Again the point of the post is really t ok know if I can go to the place of birth and get certificates and then put them on a house book..

That anyone can see it is your son or that he loves you a lot doesn't matter for legal things. You have no LEGAL rights at the moment. Have a good look at the link from blackcab on how to get these rights. If you don't you will get more and more legal issues with your kid later in life.  

[justaphase]

Also if I have any rights at all now, what happens if I have to go out the country? Does she have to look after them by law? As it stands now she demands 1500 baht a day to 'babysit'

[Lacessit]

8 minutes ago, justaphase said:

Also if I have any rights at all now, what happens if I have to go out the country? Does she have to look after them by law? As it stands now she demands 1500 baht a day to 'babysit'

She should be throwing in sex for that much.

[justaphase]

2 hours ago, Lacessit said:

She should be throwing in sex for that much.

She's so lazy you might as well hump a dead 'un...

[Preacher]

She is responsible for the upbringing of the child, including the financial part. With you as legal father she would be able to share these cost with you. You can try to have her cooperate getting parental rights by pointing out that if you get sole custody she doesn't have to pay for the children.

 

Get proof that she asks you 1500 baht to babysit her own children. Might help you in case there comes a dispute about who takes care of the children. 

[blackcab]

6 hours ago, justaphase said:

...can go to the place of birth and get certificates and then put them on a house book..

 

No. You also cannot enrol them in a school, give consent for medical treatment or apply for a Thai ID card for them. You do not have any legal right to take or keep the children away from their mother. Currently, the children's mother has 100 per cent control over the children's upbringing.

 

(That being said some members in a similar situation have managed to struggle on and achieve some of the above without the mother's consent).

 

4 hours ago, justaphase said:

...what happens if I have to go out the country? Does she have to look after them by law?

 

It's up to her. She can look after the children; she can decide that someone else will look after the children or she can put the children in a children's home if she really can't cope and there is no other option.

[petermik]

11 hours ago, justaphase said:

Also if I have any rights at all now, what happens if I have to go out the country? Does she have to look after them by law? As it stands now she demands 1500 baht a day to 'babysit'

 

11 hours ago, Lacessit said:

She should be throwing in sex for that much.

 

9 hours ago, justaphase said:

She's so lazy you might as well hump a dead 'un...

You did....twice at least

[justaphase]

55 minutes ago, blackcab said:

 

No. You also cannot enrol them in a school, give consent for medical treatment or apply for a Thai ID card for them. You do not have any legal right to take or keep the children away from their mother. Currently, the children's mother has 100 per cent control over the children's upbringing.

 

(That being said some members in a similar situation have managed to struggle on and achieve some of the above without the mother's consent).

 

 

It's up to her. She can look after the children; she can decide that someone else will look after the children or she can put the children in a children's home if she really can't cope and there is no other option.

That's the point..she doesn't want to do anything. I have hundreds of pages of line messages with here demanding money, threatening my life, saying she only had kids to get money and more.. I should just get the process running and get to court. Do you know any reputable lawyers?

[Pilotman]

15 hours ago, justaphase said:

Taking her to court for what? Not giving the documents to me?

That's my point? Do I have rights as the single carer and provider?

I'm sure that you know yourself, that you need a good Thai lawyer to get this sorted out.  It's not going to get done without that kind of intervention.  

[blackcab]

Send a message to @happylarry and ask his advice.

[dotpoom]

17 hours ago, FritsSikkink said:

You first need to be the legal father as you are not married, after that you can apply for 100% custody.

Isn't that what he is asking...does he have any rights....how does he become the "legal father" ?

[Lacessit]

3 hours ago, justaphase said:

 Do you know any reputable lawyers?

Oxymoron of the week.

[Pilotman]

3 minutes ago, dotpoom said:

Isn't that what he is asking...does he have any rights....how does he become the "legal father" ?

he is asking the wrong questions of the wrong people.  He needs to see a Thai lawyer.

[kensisaket]

First, she already told you she had the kids for the money. That's never going to change; especially, if you are willing to dish out 1500 baht for her to "babysit".  You could hire a live in maid for a lot less than that.  I would take a run at some of the government offices (ID, birth certificate, schools) myself before I'd go hire a lawyer.  Best case scenario is you have some Thai friends who would be willing to go with you.  It might take a few trips; but, you might run across that one person who will point you in the right direction. Getting advice from a forum like this; and, even a lawyer is fine but there is nothing like hearing it straight from the horse's mouth who will hopefully answer any additional questions you might have.

[murraynz]

i wish you success with obtaining the correct documentation for your sons-dont give up..

it sounds like a very sad situation..

your boys are lucky that they have you...many men would also 'walk  away' from their responsabilities..

i think you need to see a good lawyer, experienced in family courts...

it may seem ridiculous paying the mother 1500thb /day to mind the kids, but if she is 'good' with them--its great that they can have some contact with her....

 

[atyclb]

seemed english speaking lady lawyer in korat was decent.  even if you cover travel fees for her it will likely be less than a bkk lawyer as they are sooo pricy especially with foreign clients

 

http://www.korat-legal.com/

 

 

Edited July 3, 2019 by atyclb

[RJRS1301]

4 hours ago, justaphase said:

That's the point..she doesn't want to do anything. I have hundreds of pages of line messages with here demanding money, threatening my life, saying she only had kids to get money and more.. I should just get the process running and get to court. Do you know any reputable lawyers?

I hope you have printed those messages out and kept digitised copies of them time dated.

Get them notarised.

 

[xtrnuno41]

You have to understand, she is your EX and seldom you can go on making some reasonable things done.

That is an EX. I know and heard many other stories from similar situations.

ONly thing you could have contact with your EX is with money, which make them "some willingly".

Otherwise you just can forget it and only with lawyer and court maybe something can be done.

ALso know that even can be hard. I know from college, who had all on his hand (court orders) but never saw his child again

 

The hundreds of line bla bla dont matter and you better limit it to 0. You only get more agitated.

I can tell by the way in your communication here. You want to do good and she is blocking. It drives you insane.

. 

 

But a birth certificate should be ok to do so? As already someone said, go with Thai friend to where they were born and registered. Guess you are on that BC ?!  Thats your first priority. ANd then comes the rest. 

First by certificate , you need to prove you are the father. I know, you said it is all messy. 

But with a lawyer you need it before talking further and otherwise if you cant get BC you need lawyer anyhow.

Keep your calm (hope you can) as getting crazy from your EX, doesnt help you.

I know about EX and kids and it can really f*** you up. You are not alone, many of such cases.

Success and keep your head up high ! 

 

[chrissables]

20 hours ago, justaphase said:

By getting 100% custody would I be able to do anything without her permission?

Any ideas how long/tricky/expensive getting custody is?

As you were not married you can't force anything without going to court. 

[sead]

6 hours ago, justaphase said:

That's the point..she doesn't want to do anything. I have hundreds of pages of line messages with here demanding money, threatening my life, saying she only had kids to get money and more.. I should just get the process running and get to court. Do you know any reputable lawyers?

Now please be quick and make copies/screenshots of those lines messages before you drop or loose your phone or anything happens. LINE. LINE is one of those apps that deletes all messages when you have it opened in a new phone or have a new number and forget the backup mode because LINE is messy.  This is something that is going to help you alot 

[Lacessit]

8 hours ago, petermik said:

 

 

You did....twice at least

DNA testing might say otherwise.

[Scouse123]

You need her to give up all parental rights to the children and for everything to be 100% in your name as in custody.

 

For this you need a lawyer who will do it. She will sign over anything by the sounds of it ' for a fee. '  She obviously has no interest in the children or their upbringing.

 

Unfortunately, like many blood sucking Thai females her only bond to the children is financial.

 

You need all this done clean and legally through the court system. Pay her in installments only, step by step though the process. Do not give her upfront fees as she will have no incentive to turn up at court or at lawyers meetings once she has received the cash.

 

Until all this is done, you are just a John Doe who is looking after the children with no legal rights whatsoever. It needs doing as fast as possible, within the law, because if she sees a strong bond you are open for further blackmail and a price hike for her to sign documents.

 

I helped a guy previously with a lawyer, the lawyer and his English translator are based in Korat. My mates problem was in Pattaya and an ex wife refusing him access to their son.

 

They went to court and all resolved but not before he had been cheated in Pattaya by numerous lawyers, promising and not delivering.

Edited July 3, 2019 by Scouse123

[ericthai]

20 hours ago, justaphase said:

Aha I realise the confusion caused. Not my ex wife,,just ex gf. She want give consent to anything but anyone can see theyre my son's, and they'll say 'thats my dad, he does everything for us'. 

Again the point of the post is really t ok know if I can go to the place of birth and get certificates and then put them on a house book..

Was your name on the birth certificate as the father? If not, then you''ll first need to prove the children are yours (DNA test).  Speak to the hospital to get a copy of the birth certificate. Nobody here can tell you if the hospital will help or not.  If the hospital gives some resistance a little tea money seems to always helps things out.  Good Luck!