Shambolic first retirement in LOS

[Peckerhead]

Have visited LOS over the years since the 1980's, traveled all over in my visits and had a jolly nice time.

 

End of 2014, after a nasty divorce, farm and all was sold and divvied out and I was pretty burnt out by the whole process, having taken the best part of 18 months. Amazing the low life that appear in this sort of situation.

 

Still all was done & dusted by October and I found my self footloose & fancy free.  I had a few friends in LOS who said give it a go - 90 day visa and see what you think. Excellent idea I thought, not had a decent holiday for 8 years and the retirement situation looks good there.

 

Culture shock really hit me, 10 years on the farm had maybe mellowed me too much. Heat, noise, colour, smells, crowds and an alien environment were a wake up call from my fond memories.

 

Visited a few islands and a few places up north and found things really different from my memories.

 

Pitched up in Jomtien and found it a bit more reassuring, but still felt a tad uncomfortable, not quite a fish out of water but close.

 

Met a few friends on retirement, 2 were struggling and 1 had assimilated fairly well.  

 

Mistake 1 - stayed in a hotel for 5 months made no effort to find a place to make a bit more homely for myself. Ate out all of the time.

 

Mistake 2 - Went on holiday mode for 5 months, out every night partying, hanging out with bar flies, heroes and blokes that would shag a frog in mid flight.

 

Mistake 3 - Did not get an independent mode of transport for myself.

 

Mistake 4 - She was a lovely girl, honest she was - spoken and written English and a good sense of humour, own car and house. However she could tell lies on her in breath and in her sleep.    

 

Six months later back to the UK. Lessons learned and probably the most important one is how to retire, how to go from an active full on social interactive life to one of semi-dormancy. 

 

Prompted to write this thread after reading some honest replies on here - Threads such as the currently 'running how is your daily routine' I find enlightening .

 

Perhaps not necessarily related to LOS, but retirement in general. Not sure if it is for me.

 

Thank you & Chock Dee

 

 

 

 

 

   

[Puchaiyank]

she could tell lies on her in breath and in her sleep!

 

LOL...We all know and love this girl...

 

I am so use to complete BS by now that I just smile to myself and pretend to be once more duped...????

 

I know...some of you are living with the one truly honest girl in Thailand...????

[ivor bigun]

she could tell lies on her in breath and in her sleep!
 
LOL...We all know and love this girl...
 
I am so use to complete BS by now that I just smile to myself and pretend to be once more duped...[emoji4]
 
I know...some of you are living with the one truly honest girl in Thailand...[emoji23]

Actually,most of the girls i met were fairly honest,and i reckon most are ,but who wants to read or write that,can you imagine the headline
MAN MEETS WOMAN GETS MARRIED AND HAS HAPPY LIFE. Who would bother to read that story,so thats why people post on here sad stories ,much more interesting.
No i dont think my wife is the only loving honest Thai woman ,just the average ordinary wife or girlfriend that most of us have.
And of no interest to the average reader at all.

Sent from my SM-A720F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[BritManToo]

11 hours ago, Peckerhead said:

Mistake 4 - She was a lovely girl, honest she was - spoken and written English and a good sense of humour, own car and house. However she could tell lies on her in breath and in her sleep. 

It's not a mistake, all women are like this, including the one that divorced you.

Learn to ignore the lies, enjoy the sex, and only pay the going rate.

 

Sorry you lost the farm, I also lost my home the same way.

Edited July 18, 2019 by BritManToo

[Orton Rd]

If you are only interested in shagging and drinking Thailand eventually becomes very boring, and ultimately a depressing place to be long term

[dotpoom]

I just "go with the flow"...and don't think too much...let life take it's natural course.

[Blackheart1916]

Well, you did a couple of things right, you dipped your toe instead of jumping in boots and all, and you can recognise and acknowledge your own mistakes, so you are streets ahead of a lot of folk. Best of luck to ya.

[jesimps]

20 hours ago, Orton Rd said:

If you are only interested in shagging and drinking Thailand eventually becomes very boring, and ultimately a depressing place to be long term

I've been with my Thai wife for 12 years now and am reasonably happy, but I do sometimes yearn for the shagging and drinking. After all, it's the main reason I came to the country in the first place after several boring years of living in France. Unfortunately, it only lasted three months before I got snared by the missus, bless her cotton socks ????

 

Edited July 19, 2019 by jesimps

[1FinickyOne]

Things have no doubt changed here since the 1980s.... but really, most places in the world have... 

 

And don't forget, you have changed since 1980... that was near 40 years ago! There is a big difference between being 30 and 70.. If you are trying to be 30 again, it is not going to work for long. 

 

If this post is a process of you trying to decide where to retire, make a list of pros and cons of your different choices and decide from there... good luck to you.

[nickmondo]

i agree with you mate.

you made some big mistakes here.

best thing to do is divide time between uk and here.

I left the uk because, frankly, its a joke there now.

i will spend my future time between an Asean country and Spain, not just Thailand

its easy enough

[GalaxyMan]

On 7/18/2019 at 1:41 AM, Puchaiyank said:

she could tell lies on her in breath and in her sleep!

I know...some of you are living with the one truly honest girl in Thailand...????

Thank god none of the women I met in the USSA, England, Holland, etc., were like that... ????

 

Women are women, men are men, people are people. The basic intolerance towards anyone different, using that as an excuse for behavior or attitude, is simply disgusting. Reminds me of a jerk named Trump.

Edited July 19, 2019 by GalaxyMan

[StevieAus]

On 7/18/2019 at 1:41 AM, Puchaiyank said:

she could tell lies on her in breath and in her sleep!

 

LOL...We all know and love this girl...

 

I am so use to complete BS by now that I just smile to myself and pretend to be once more duped...????

 

I know...some of you are living with the one truly honest girl in Thailand...????

Didn't know you had met my first wife who wasn’t Thai, but fits the description perfectly.

[Thingamabob]

Well done. You allowed yourself time before making commitments here in Thailand. It's a good place to live for some people, not good for others. For myself I can't stand the UK these days, recently went for a month but left after a week. Still happy in LOS after 35 years here.

[crazykopite]

One of life’s lessons my friend , we have all been there in our lifetime I am sure it’s just a case of onwards and upwards and never look back .

[thaiboss]

its up to your karma if you will stay here in thailand or not ,  check it out from the spiritual way. listnen to your six sense. then to retire here better you have a thai girl friend with you for the rest of your life in thailand.

[rosst]

Well sir, you acknowledged your errors and I am sure you realise that you need to find out what you want to do with the best part of your life. 

My guidelines are to remain physically and mentally active and only drink after 5PM.

Enjoy all the good food but moderate the quantity as your continuing good health is your most valuable gift. 

Try a few more places and good luck for your future. 

[Krataiboy]

23 hours ago, BritManToo said:

It's not a mistake, all women are like this, including the one that divorced you.

And there was me thinking misogyny was just a feminist trope. 

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, Krataiboy said:

And there was me thinking misogyny was just a feminist trope. 

'Misogyny' is the word for men who hate women.

'Sensible' is the word for men who mistrust women.

 

If I hated women, I wouldn't have had sex with quite so many of them.

Edited July 19, 2019 by BritManToo

[EVENKEEL]

On ‎7‎/‎17‎/‎2019 at 10:21 PM, Orton Rd said:

If you are only interested in shagging and drinking Thailand eventually becomes very boring, and ultimately a depressing place to be long term

You must be doing it wrong,

[superal]

On 7/18/2019 at 12:21 PM, Orton Rd said:

If you are only interested in shagging and drinking Thailand eventually becomes very boring, and ultimately a depressing place to be long term

Absolutely agree and that is why I always have 1 day off a week , works for me .

[Paul52]

I’m wondering how much Mistake 4 was influenced by Mistake 1 and 2?  IMO, a big motivation for many Thai women getting involved with retired farangs is financial security first, second and third and somewhere after that comes the emotional and other relationship needs.  What kind of a signal does it send out when your partner is living in a hotel for 6 months in holiday mode?  

 

It’s possible that the woman you got involved with was just a sociopathic, evil, nasty, cold, heartless b*tch, but that would be quite extreme and I suspect the truth lies somewhere in the middle.  She wanted a man who would stay around and provide financial security and seemed you always had one eye on the door and and didn’t look like you were sure you wanted to settle here in Thailand.  In short, no genuine commitment.

 

Looks like you learnt a lot from this.  Wherever you are in life, getting yourself stable and settled is always most important before getting seriously involved in a relationship.  Good luck!

[Krataiboy]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

'Misogyny' is the word for men who hate women.

'Sensible' is the word for men who mistrust women.

 

If I hated women, I wouldn't have had sex with quite so many of them.

Misogyny is not confined to hatred of women and girls. It includes "contempt for, or prejudice against, women" (Wikipedia).

 

To mistrust all women is clearly to be prejudiced, sad rather than sensible - and hardly conducive to building worthwhile relationships.

 

Incidentally, having sex with women (even "many" of them) proves nothing. Just think serial rapists - or the sad sacks on this Forum who bad-mouth the bar girls they pay to please them.

 

 

 

Edited July 19, 2019 by Krataiboy

[GreasyFingers]

If the Op is a farm boy he needs to get out of the city.

I grew up on the beach and after annual holidays in Samui for 5 years decided to do the same as the OP with a 4 month stay there but it ended up being permanent with just trips back home. Lived in a holiday unit, never cooked and basically spent the day between the beach and bars. It did get a bit tiring after a while, or I needed a change when got tied up with a farm girl and moved up here. Miss the beach but am enjoying the semi farm life so the OP just needs to find the right place for him to be happy.

[Suradit69]

On 7/18/2019 at 1:41 AM, Puchaiyank said:

I am so use to complete BS by now 

And yet you seem to keep reading more posts on TV. You must be a glutton for BS.

[daveAustin]

"blokes that would shag a frog in mid flight"

 

???? Quality. Would that be as opposed to blokes that do frogs pre- or post-flight? 

 

Would probably have been better off renting a condo outside Chiang Mai and keeping the dollies at arm's length. At least you did it, though, and be very content that you're un-manacled from the trouble & strife. 

[Puchaiyank]

8 hours ago, Suradit69 said:

And yet you seem to keep reading more posts on TV. You must be a glutton for BS.

You concern yourself with the posts I read on TV?  Who could be more full of it than you?   ????????????

[Daveyh]

Ah! ......... retirement? After 18yrs in retirement here I still love waking up to a brand new day. Over the years I've learnt to cope with the BS, the lies, the corruption & most things that give Thailand a bad name. My retirement is what I make it & I just don't allow anything to disturb my way of life at all. If you cannot adjust to the mindset here then you really have a problem & perhaps Thailand is not for you.

 

I do my retirement visa once a year, report every 90 days & the rest of the year I just enjoy every day to the full. The noise, the traffic & all the other distractions that reminds you every day that you are in Asia are part of life here. Unless you lock yourself away in your condo with videos you can not possibly escape it, so the only way to retire here successfully is to accept it & chill out. Yes, somedays it does get a bit much, so that's the day to lock yourself away, refresh & prepare for next day or until you are ready to face the chaos again!. Every day is yours to do whatever you want & the best thing about life here is "no one messes with you". Just live the life & enjoy every retirement day ......... after all it really is a bonus for the over 70's! It is for me anyways. I'm way past my sell by date ..... take care & mind how you go.

Edited July 20, 2019 by Daveyh

[ThaiBunny]

2 minutes ago, Daveyh said:

Over the years I've learnt to cope with the BS, the lies, the corruption & most things that give Thailand a bad name

For all practical purposes I ignore the fact that I'm in Thailand except where it's unavoidable

[ratcatcher]

On 7/18/2019 at 12:42 AM, Peckerhead said:

End of 2014, after a nasty divorce, farm and all was sold

Well, at least you sold the farm and came to Thailand. Many come to Thailand and buy the farm.

[Peckerhead]

Thanks very much for your words of wisdom and empathy.

 

Learned my lessons and will try again soon, a more focused plan and a clearer state of mind will definitely be an advantage.

 

 

Thanks & Chock Dee