Question about supporting family back home

[Fex Bluse]

I'm so happy I married a wife whose family is wealthy. I have no such issues. 

 

My other advice would be to sit down with the wife regularly for family financial planning. 

 

Show her the incomings and outgoings especially things like retirement savings and other investments like medium range/liquid investments. 

 

Many Thais don't understand financial planning. Actually, for fairness, most westerners don't either. Understanding this may help her appreciate sacrifices being made. 

[Mikisteel]

You should be grateful she is spending it inside the family. Some villagers are so duped by monks they are handing over cash left right and centre. All because the neighbour does too and that's the village equivalent of keeping up with Jones's. Vultures around those villages, your mother in law likely gets credit thrown at her from lottery tickets to local conveniences. She will be popular amongst the domino crowd too. 

 

Good job nothing lasts forever.

 

 

[baansgr]

Lazy brother your paying for him and alao an abanded niece from some other relative. Wifes Mom wouldnt need a penny u if it weent for these leeches. Dont feel bad, youve done your bit and stop sending anything.

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, Fex Bluse said:

I'm so happy I married a wife whose family is wealthy. I have no such issues. 

 

My other advice would be to sit down with the wife regularly for family financial planning. 

 

Show her the incomings and outgoings especially things like retirement savings and other investments like medium range/liquid investments. 

 

Many Thais don't understand financial planning. Actually, for fairness, most westerners don't either. Understanding this may help her appreciate sacrifices being made. 

Very foolish, your wife will know all your finances when she divorces you.

[Fex Bluse]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Very foolish, your wife will know all your finances when she divorces you.

I'm so old, if she divorces me now after decades of marriage, no worries.

I'm not saying it can't happen to me.

Also, even if she took half, I'd have plenty to enjoy the rest of my life without working.

She and I both worked our <deleted> off to reach financial freedom.

[emptypockets]

Part of the problem is that many posters are actually older than their MIL and many others have zero understanding of Thai culture and use any excuse to be cheap charlies. 

My mother in law is twenty years older than me and when we are in Australia I happily send the old girl 5000 baht a month with the proviso that she spends it to enjoy her twilight years.  If she doesn't spend it and saves it in the bank then the money stops. When we are in Thailand we give her nothing but pay for her electricity (300 baht a month)  and buy extra food when we go shopping. 

ALL is the wife's siblings send their mum money,  each according to their ability. 

Would I send my mum if she was still alive and elderly?  In a heartbeat without thinking about it. 

 

There seem to be many damaged personalities on this forum. 

Edited August 19, 2019 by emptypockets

[Tony125]

11 hours ago, elliss said:

 

         Let your wife pay with her money , please enlghten me .. 

          My wife has  only the salary , which i pay her mountly K15 , if she choose to supoort her mother , up to her . 

              I will not  directly , support her family . Not my problem ...

 

    

 

I think WorldPlus was refering to the  OP who said his wife was working part time and sending her money to mom. Was sugested that she get a better job because she has a Degree.

[SoonOh]

 

I call my friend Cheap Charlie. My friend always replies, " you and her family may call me cheap charlie but at the end no one will laugh at me and call me fool " 

 

His wife no longer gives brother any money, she only pay online water/electricity. If fixing something, contractor need to call her and approve the total price. Before nothing was done and money always gone.  

She paid 500bath or so per day for brother's private hospital room balance was covered by government health scheme. Yes, she had all receipts. 

 

Monthly, She transfers 500Bath to her uncle and 500baht to auntie. She used to give more but they gave everything to grand children. Never spent any money on themselves.   

 

Nothing is done behind his back because at the end of the month, they sit down and review all financial transaction.

 

[FritsSikkink]

On ‎8‎/‎18‎/‎2019 at 2:40 PM, BritManToo said:

That's how marriage works,

Everything she earns, she spends on herself.

Everything you earn gets spent on the household.

Doesn't matter what the nationality of the woman is.

That is how your marriage worked.

[CBBC]

Sorry for the delay in getting back to all of these appreciated replies.  Wow, such a variety of opinions and a lot of interesting views for me to consider!

 

For the moment, I'm not going to ask my wife to change anything for the moment.  She asked me to assess the situation with her when we both go back to visit her family in the near future (early November) and then create a plan based on what we see.  I think this is reasonable.  My wife has a decent Thai education and had worked as an accountant for several years before coming to the US for another degree where I met her.  She's not selfish and is generally careful with spending.  She also feels strongly about taking care of mom even though mom isn't good with money.  Honestly, mom isn't educated and there have been some substantial family issues in the past.  The wife has committed to getting a better job after the vacation and we'll take that into consideration also.

 

I appreciate the input and also letting all of your different views of what is reasonable support.

 

Thanks!

Edited August 19, 2019 by CBBC