Thai Ladies in LOS vs Home Country

[swissie]

This seems to be a re-occurring theme among Expats as well as Home-Country-Farangs.

IS IT A GOOD IDEA TO RE-LOCATE WITH THAI-WIFE/GF TO HOME COUNTRY?

Below are my personal observations (not based on poll's or official statistics):
        Thai Ladies relocating to "Farangland" (upon invitation of a Farang (marriage), can be the best wifes one can hope for. As long as the Farang (Husband) understands that the Thai-Family will need financial support. (Within limits). As long as the Farang-Husband fulfilles those requirements, he may well have found a companion (wife) for the rest of his days, regardless of geographical location.

Another thing it is, when the "Prince-Charming" of Pattaya proves to be "a nobody" in his home-country. Not capable (or willing) to satisfy the financial needs of the "Thai-Family". Not knowing (or ignoring) the fact that a Thai National, living overseas, not being able to contribute to the well-being of the Thai-Family back home, will lose so much "Face" that no plastic surgeon can ever restore the "lost face" again.
Practically forcing the Wife/GF to look for alternative "income-sources" to satisfy the financial needs of the "Thai-Family" back home. This is usually "the beginning of the end" concernig a Farang/Thai relationship in a Farang's home country. My personal observations. No more, no less.

 

What is the above all about? It's in connection with the increasing number of Expats contemplating to leave Thailand, willing to take their Wifes/GF's back to their home-country.

An individual decision, for sure. Many things to be considered. Part of this decision would have to be "can the (financial) well-being" of the Thai-Family be maintained? Of crucial importance to any Thai-Lady!
Something to consider, before packing any suitcases. The Thai-Lady may find that the "green-grass" in Farangland isen't any greener than in Thailand. Depending on the situation.
Cheers.

 

[richard_smith237]

'Don't take Thai a girl back to the UK unless you are prepared to give her money which she can send to her family, otherwise she'll end up back on the game'.... Is that what you mean ?

 

What about the scores of foreigners who didn't meet their significant other in a bar whose parents are financially independent?

 

 

There are also other facets: If your Significant Other, sits or squats on the floor to eat her Som-tam she may struggle with the stress of life in a foreign country and navigate towards other Thai women who may be of a less virtuous disposition (if there are any nearby) - we've all read the stories, Thai wife bored at home, unable to secure work, gambling with other Thai Wives etc... (Yes, I know, a generalization).

 

That said, if your Signifiant Other, speaks excellent English, has decent qualifications and can easily handle herself in a foreign country the move should present no more difficulties than we would face moving to another country. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 4, 2019 by richard_smith237

[swissie]

1 hour ago, richard_smith237 said:

'Don't take Thai a girl back to the UK unless you are prepared to give her money which she can send to her family, otherwise she'll end up back on the game'.... Is that what you mean ?

 

What about the scores of foreigners who didn't meet their significant other in a bar whose parents are financially independent?

 

 

There are also other facets: If your Significant Other, sits or squats on the floor to eat her Som-tam she may struggle with the stress of life in a foreign country and navigate towards other Thai women who may be of a less virtuous disposition (if there are any nearby) - we've all read the stories, Thai wife bored at home, unable to secure work, gambling with other Thai Wives etc... (Yes, I know, a generalization).

 

That said, if your Signifiant Other, speaks excellent English, has decent qualifications and can easily handle herself in a foreign country the move should present no more difficulties than we would face moving to another country. 

 

 

 

 

 

Quote: "What about the scores of foreigners who didn't meet their significant other in a bar whose parents are financially independent?

 

- What about the "scores" of foreighners that met their "significant other" in a Bar? (90% or 95% ?) What is your estimate?

I myself am still looking for the "scores" of Farangs playing Polo with their Thai-Wifes over the weekend.

But that's not the point. The point is: Can the the "Thai-Family" (still) be supported financially upon returing to Home Country with Thai-Wife?.
Absolutely crucial. This may well be the deciding factor in connection with the longevety of a Farang/Thai relationship outside of Thailand.

 

Example: A monthly pension income of 45K Baht may go a long ways in rural Thailand but not in the "western world".

----------------

 

PS: This is not my Biography. It's based on personal observations among numerous fellow Farangs in Thailand as well as Farangland.

[Puchaiyank]

Everytime a family member rings up the wife...my first question after she hangs up the phone..."Did another buffalo die?  How much baht this time?"  They never call to chit-chat are inquire about our health or wellbeing...always about distribution of baht...????

[richard_smith237]

1 hour ago, swissie said:

Quote: "What about the scores of foreigners who didn't meet their significant other in a bar whose parents are financially independent?

 

- What about the "scores" of foreighners that met their "significant other" in a Bar? (90% or 95% ?) What is your estimate?

I myself am still looking for the "scores" of Farangs playing Polo with their Thai-Wifes over the weekend.

 

 

My estimate? Of those foreigners I know dating or married to Thai ladies... most met at work, though a mutual Thai friend, in the same age bracket etc...   Of my friends with Thai Wives I don't know any who are in the situation of having to send money to their in laws (with Wives who have to fund their parents) - but I know thats not uncommon after reading this forum.

 

Maybe its to do with age (early 30's when meeting our Wives), where we are (Bangkok), and with whom we associate (normal Thai friends, male and female) which possibly equates to the women we end up being introduced to or just meeting etc.

 

Maybe the generalizations you have made (with your 90-95% bar-girl stat) are dated, or you are in the wrong place.

 

I imagine in places such as Pattaya and Phuket its a lot more difficult to cut through the stigma of 'every guy is looking for cheap women' and 'every woman is looking for a guy to support her' for a natural interaction to take place... (generalization again I know - but the stigma is there).

 

Perhaps my experience is rare, but I don't think its so rare in Bangkok for a normal guy to be in a relationship not too dissimilar to that which they'd be in back in their home countries where the women they meet are educated, financially independent and from backgrounds where financial support is not expected. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[PingRoundTheWorld]

You know not all Thai ladies are prostitutes, right??

 

A normal middle-class woman would hold her own job and not expect you to pay her or her family a dime. If she does ask for money or you are giving her a "salary" to stay home and not work then she is not your wife - she is a prostitute and will move on to the next customer if the money ever runs out.

 

The first Thai woman I've ever dated was back in Japan. She worked in a Thai restaurant and although she had trouble keeping her legs closed around white guys, she never asked nor expected money. I'm sure she was sending money back to her family regularly as she was from Isaan and had a daughter back there - but it was from her own salary, not mine.

 

Current gf make around 30k a month. Not a prostitute. Why would anyone date (let alone marry) a prostitute is beyond me - I pay them to LEAVE...

[PingRoundTheWorld]

2 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Perhaps my experience is rare, but I don't think its so rare in Bangkok for a normal guy to be in a relationship not too dissimilar to that which they'd be in back in their home countries where the women they meet are educated, financially independent and from backgrounds where financial support is not expected. 

It's quite common and I know plenty of guys with non-hooker girlfriends in Bangkok. I met mine through Thai Friendly, though you can meet normal girls anywhere including so-called "hooker discos" - some girls are just there because they like foreigners, not money. (though most are of course working)

[Ron jeremy]

My friend married. a Cuban woman. She works relentlessly, any job she can, she sends money back home. She happier than a pig in <deleted>. So is my friend, great woman, no drama for him.

rather than a man sending money back for a buffalo, why can't they send their gal,out to work and send HER money home?

[Berkshire]

8 hours ago, swissie said:

Another thing it is, when the "Prince-Charming" of Pattaya proves to be "a nobody" in his home-country.

This may be the most glaring issue, especially if there's a significant age difference.  If the Thai wife genuinely likes/prefers farangs, there will be a smorgasbord of eligible farang studs ready to charm their way into her skirt.  Probably not an issue if the wife is older.  But if she's still in her prime, watch out.  And if she gets educated about her rights in a divorce...Lordy.

[Katipo]

How about if the 'farang' has a well paying job (upper-middle class+) and his Thai wife has the experience and education to be the same.... even in her husbands country?  Yes, we exist. Not every foreigner here is a down on his luck middle aged divorcee who is dating uneducated Thai woman with no career or earning potential. ????

[CharlieH]

Just because "you" wouldnt do it, doesnt make it wrong for others to do it. What happens in a relationship between a man and woman is what works for them. No one has the right to sit in judgement of others relationships. 

 

From my observations on this forum, there are repetitive  reports of issues with a Thai wife when she mixes socially with other Thais in the homeland of the husband. The main issue seems to be that of "keeping up with the Jones's", and one wanting to show they have more than another etc, or their husband earns more and so on.

 

The other common report is one of the husband being dumped once citizenship/passport etc has been achieved and she gets a job and switches to another man as she now has a huge pool to choose from and is better equipped than her competition ( in most cases.)

[korkenzieher]

My GF, who I would most certainly marry if we wanted to relocate, sends a considerable part of her income back to Isaan. A sticking point in leaving Thailand would be that that money would need to be made up from somewhere; so in some ways the path of least resistance is to let her continue her career here as long as that is (ahem) necessary. We both have the 'elderly parent' issue to deal with at some point, perhaps soon, so I think it is quite inevitable that I will have to go back to the UK - for perhaps for 2 or 3 years - at some point.

 

I would be deluding myself if I ignored at least the possibility that people would make assumptions about how we met because I do it myself. With a dozen years in Thailand, I am not beyond trying to guess where the ladies I occasionally see in UK pubs, or restaurants, met their partners. And that is coming from someone with 12 years continuous experience here, with many longish visits stretching back to the early '90s. It seems to me that the prejudices are quite deeply ingrained. Expecting anything other than somewhat racially inclined slurs about my wife's presumed former occupation from those who have only experienced - or whose only aspiration is to visit - Pattaya or Patong is naive at best.

 

Arguably relocating to a mutually acceptable 3rd country would be a solution. I'm pretty sure we could both cope with it. Japan, say, if it was a realistic possibility. But why?

 

So, as long as we can stay here, we will. If we have to move there we will - and take what life brings on the chin. But I hope that is after both of our current commitments to family no longer tie us either to here or to the UK.

Edited September 5, 2019 by korkenzieher

[shy coconut]

14 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

'Don't take Thai a girl back to the UK unless you are prepared to give her money which she can send to her family, otherwise she'll end up back on the game'.... Is that what you mean ?

 

What about the scores of foreigners who didn't meet their significant other in a bar whose parents are financially independent?

 

 

There are also other facets: If your Significant Other, sits or squats on the floor to eat her Som-tam she may struggle with the stress of life in a foreign country and navigate towards other Thai women who may be of a less virtuous disposition (if there are any nearby) - we've all read the stories, Thai wife bored at home, unable to secure work, gambling with other Thai Wives etc... (Yes, I know, a generalization).

 

That said, if your Signifiant Other, speaks excellent English, has decent qualifications and can easily handle herself in a foreign country the move should present no more difficulties than we would face moving to another country. 

 

 

 

 

 

My significant other happily eats cross legged on the floor, and guess what, she has 

also mastered the art of sitting on a chair at a table.

 

Maybe she is different after all.

[dotpoom]

"This seems to be a re-occurring theme among Expats as well as Home-Country-Farangs."

   Haven't come across it myself...

...Each to his own...that's what I say...couldn't give two hoots what way other people choose to live their lives?

 

[MadMuhammad]

12 hours ago, Puchaiyank said:

Everytime a family member rings up the wife...my first question after she hangs up the phone..."Did another buffalo die?  How much baht this time?"  They never call to chit-chat are inquire about our health or wellbeing...always about distribution of baht...????

We got the very first ‘baht distribution’ call last week after a year of being together. Momma needed 20K to prop up her biz cos papa had a motorsai stack and she couldn’t work. I happily handed it over but my gf Has insisted on paying me back at 2000 a month on top of the 5000 she already gives me for household upkeep. 

I’m pretty happy with that ????????

[BritManToo]

11 hours ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

A normal middle-class woman would hold her own job and not expect you to pay her or her family a dime. If she does ask for money or you are giving her a "salary" to stay home and not work then she is not your wife - she is a prostitute and will move on to the next customer if the money ever runs out.

All my neighbours appear to be normal middle class Thai women, they all seem to cost their Thai husbands more than I give the hooker I'm shacked up with, and they get a lot less sex (as far as I can estimate).

[SoonOh]

Education and background is not an issue. To all Thai "Ladies" family, buffalo, dog come first and farang is an easy ATM.  Thai family members always need money. All my friends are now divorced and regret allowing EX to obtain citizenship.  Most girls did not return to Thailand. There is always money flowing back to Thai family members.  

[emptypockets]

Its an Asian thing not a Thai thing to look after family. I work with young engineers in Myanmar. One sends his parents money every month. Another does the same and is saving up to buy her sister a new high end laptop so she can continue IT and programming studies at University.

Most posters only close interactions in Asia would be with Thais is my guess.

 

The OP posed the question about taking your partner to your home country yet many people talk about living in Bangkok.

I've seen the classic car wrecks in Australia with both Thai wives and Philippino wives. Invariably it involved a much older man with a much younger, non working, attractive wife. Recipe for disaster. Older bloke loses wife, house, half of his superannuation and can look forward to child support of 27% of his gross (pre tax but paid out of his after tax take home salary) income (assuming 2 kids) which is basically 60% minimum of all income after tax until child turns 18, or possibly 25 if they go to Uni. These guys live in absolute despair. Usually cannot afford to buy another house, so rents which takes a fair chunk of their left over salary. The likelihood of meeting another partner diminishes dramatically. No money, no honey is true everywhere. Wife lives on easy street with new partner.

 

The problem I have is my wife likes living in Australia and I like living in Thailand so we will compromise and split our time 50/50 when I retire. When in Oz we send her mum 5000 baht a month. If my mum or dad were alive and doing it hard I would do the same for them.

Edited September 5, 2019 by emptypockets

[richard_smith237]

3 hours ago, shy coconut said:

My significant other happily eats cross legged on the floor, and guess what, she has 

also mastered the art of sitting on a chair at a table.

 

Maybe she is different after all.

Aw.....come-on... it seems everybody these days claims to be dating a highly educated Thai Chinese lady from high-society....   I don't believe it for a second, sitting on a Chair at the Table - just who does she think she is ???? ????

[richard_smith237]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

14 hours ago, PingRoundTheWorld said:

A normal middle-class woman would hold her own job and not expect you to pay her or her family a dime. If she does ask for money or you are giving her a "salary" to stay home and not work then she is not your wife - she is a prostitute and will move on to the next customer if the money ever runs out.

All my neighbours appear to be normal middle class Thai women, they all seem to cost their Thai husbands more than I give the hooker I'm shacked up with, and they get a lot less sex (as far as I can estimate).

I guess how you value your relationship depends on whether you measure the relationship in 'd!ck-foot-per-baht' or see value in all other facets of a relationship beyond something solely based on the next coital interlude. 

Edited September 5, 2019 by richard_smith237

[metisdead]

A post containing a trolling meme has been removed.  If you are not interested in the topic, you are not obligated to participate in the topic. 

[StreetCowboy]

1 hour ago, richard_smith237 said:

I guess how you value your relationship depends on whether you measure the relationship in 'd!ck-foot-per-baht' or see value in all other facets of a relationship beyond something solely based on the next coital interlude. 

I’m quite happy with my leased car, and the great thing is that if I am not, I can change it.  I’ve had it longer than some of my colleagues have owned theirs, before they traded them in.  Not all commercial arrangements are short-time taxi rides

[richard_smith237]

1 hour ago, StreetCowboy said:

I’m quite happy with my leased car, and the great thing is that if I am not, I can change it.  I’ve had it longer than some of my colleagues have owned theirs, before they traded them in.  Not all commercial arrangements are short-time taxi rides

 

Fair enough if your analogy of a relationship is one limited to the practicalities of a leased inanimate object...

[StreetCowboy]

2 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

Fair enough if your analogy of a relationship is one limited to the practicalities of a leased inanimate object...

The point about an analogy is that some things are similar to different things.  If you don’t want to see the analogy, don’t accuse me of shortcomings; blame your own lack of imagination and perspective, or come up with an alternative.

[DaRoadrunner]

5 hours ago, emptypockets said:

I've seen the classic car wrecks in Australia with both Thai wives and Philippino wives. Invariably it involved a much older man with a much younger, non working, attractive wife. Recipe for disaster. Older bloke loses wife, house, half of his superannuation and can look forward to child support of 27% of his gross (pre tax but paid out of his after tax take home salary) income (assuming 2 kids) which is basically 60% minimum of all income after tax until child turns 18, or possibly 25 if they go to Uni. These guys live in absolute despair. Usually cannot afford to buy another house, so rents which takes a fair chunk of their left over salary. The likelihood of meeting another partner diminishes dramatically. No money, no honey is true everywhere. Wife lives on easy street with new partner.

Women are like cars... When her bodywork starts to go and she needs expensive 'servicing' you trade her in for a new model.

[RichardColeman]

Took my first Thai wife back to the UK - complete disaster ! Divorced after 3 years. Never, ever take a Thai wife back to the UK unless you have first lived with her for say 20 years ! (you should know her by then)

[sanemax]

6 hours ago, DaRoadrunner said:

Women are like cars... When her bodywork starts to go and she needs expensive 'servicing' you trade her in for a new model.

many Thai females view males that way , but money is their concern , rather than their partners body

[shy coconut]

7 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

Aw.....come-on... it seems everybody these days claims to be dating a highly educated Thai Chinese lady from high-society....   I don't believe it for a second, sitting on a Chair at the Table - just who does she think she is ???? ????

I can assure you she isn't hi-so, or highly educated, but then again neither am I.

 

I was never in the special forces either, and don't really enjoy too much of the 

night life, although a few nights in a decent hotel makes a nice change.

[GinBoy2]

Lot of generalizations, but as with all generalizations some truth.

 

My wife's parents died when she was an adolescent, and was raised by her Uncle and Aunt in Chicago.

 

But, like I think in many Asian cultures, after she left college and started working has always sent money home to help support, her now 94 year old Grandmother.

 

So my wife is 50 now, so has probably been sending money back home for close to 30 years.

 

We have talked about the Thai culture of avarice, and it does exist for sure.

Many Thais see the prospect of a daughter moving to marry a farang in mystical magical farangland, where the streets are paved with gold, as their ticket to the easy life.

 

But, there are Thai's who do just see it as their duty to support their elders.

 

Compared to all the Asian countries I've lived, the avarice percentage seems anecdotally higher in Thailand. 

 

In China, Taiwan, Singapore where we have lived, it's firmly a duty to your elders thing 

Edited September 5, 2019 by GinBoy2

[sunnyboy2018]

19 hours ago, Berkshire said:

This may be the most glaring issue, especially if there's a significant age difference.  If the Thai wife genuinely likes/prefers farangs, there will be a smorgasbord of eligible farang studs ready to charm their way into her skirt.  Probably not an issue if the wife is older.  But if she's still in her prime, watch out.  And if she gets educated about her rights in a divorce...Lordy.

Yes in the states a combination of feminism and financial pragmatism leads many Thai wives to be introduced to the female friendly divorce laws.