Urgent advice, getting rid of psychopath Thai brother...

[jmansilla]

I will try to keep this as short as possible but you need to get the background and the whole picture, yest it's a soap opera like many Thai families but the situation and become very serious and I need a solution fast!!! And come on people, save the typical bs banter, I am literally shaking in anger while having to write this for being at a dead end!! I am just looking for creative advice for getting rid of my Thai girlfriends derelict Thai brother. I have a Thai girlfriend that lives in a house I built for her and my daughter since her family lives there and there is a good school, also I can't tolerate the Thai family BS and drama, nor living with a Thai lady, they are about 10 minutes away and live alone during the week due to my work schedule and need for good internet. I have always gotten along well with my girlfriends father and his new wife who live next door, her mother lives across the street and I realized the mother is somewhere past Venus, along with the youngest sister who is also a derelict, alcoholic thief, but only shows up a few times a year to create family chaos. I had only heard about the younger brother, nothing good but also about 2 minutes after meeting him that he was an apple that didn't fall far from the tree.

 

So now to the point! The brother shows up 6 months ago declaring he is reformed and wants to become a monk, also as a peace gesture he want's me to take care of his 2017 Yamaha M-Slaz! I immediately thought, "how and where did he get credit or the means to buy a 90,000 baht motorbike" A few weeks later he tries to say I can have his loan transferred in my name, no problem, ah no I think I will pass. Then a week later he needs 20,000 baht because he want's to be truthful and is 5 months behind on the payments, riiiight let me just run down to the closest ATM, how about I give you 30,000 so you have some money for some crazy monk, hooker blow type ceremony! So on to the big ceremony and collecting some quick cash, a month later he now declares he is not meant to be a monk, big surprise huh, I suspected that from the beginning. So the mother welcomes him in her home with open arms, it took him about 2 hours to fun off and indulge in booze, whores and the drug ïce". Since hour one he has been verbally abusive to the mother, sister, father, my daughter for whatever he wants and explodes if he doesn't get what he want's. I have tried to reason with the family which as normal turns a cheek. I told the family to also read about the traits of a psychopath, of the 20 I could find he met 19 of them but I had never really seen him explode in anger.

 

A few months ago the family got him a good job, (which he got fired from and didn't tell the family until they put pressure on him as to where is his salary going) then about a month ago my daughter and I ran into him in 7-11, I was at the checkout trying to pay attention to my wallet, paying the cashier and the brother who instead of a nice greeting he picks up some items and he is talking to my daughter and I have no clue what he is saying but he seemed immune to my daughter who is moving behind me, I know it seems minor but if you are a father to a daughter and see fear in her eyes for the first time, you can relate!! So I brush it off and she seems fearful to tell me clearly what he said other than he wanted me to pay for his stuff. So I got her home so she could talk with her mom and explain what he said which was the same, he wanted her to pay for his stuff and he kept bullying her and was not taking no for an answer since we are foreigners and have vaults full of gold (you get the point) I was probably the most furious I have ever been in my life but my girlfriend just said to calm down and not do what should normally be done and the typical explanation that you don't confront Thai's nor point out they have done wrong because he will just explode and do the typical cowardly, wussy Thai thing and get 5 friends, or 5 friends with the great Thai machete to make sure they are not made to look even worse. Then a few weeks later my girlfriend called crying and said the brother just walked right into her house and grabbed my pressure washer to wash his Yamaha M-Slaz (more on that shortly) when he already asked and I refused since why does he need to wash what is in reality a stolen motorcycle. Turns out the boss from his previous job co signed a loan for him and he soon ran off with the motorbike to some other city outside of Bangkok before coming to our city. Also I remembered hearing bits of how he did the same to the older sister and she got stuck for around 80,000 worth of payments so her credit wouldn't get ruined, so obviously he is getting good at it, why pay when you can get it for free.

 

So now to the current situation. I go early to take my daughter to school and my girlfriend picks her up since I then sleep because I work at night, Thai time. It's been building up with his abusive behavior to his mother and anyone else who doesn't cower at his feet in fear of his abuse and temper. Since the 7-11 incident I have treated him like he is invisible which only fueled his fury and anger, he started whistling very loudly whenever he saw I was at my daughters house, not like a song but like he was calling his bird, or dog, I just finally realized this guy is not just crazy, but bats*&T crazy and should be in a mental hospital, dead or in jail. I showed up last Sunday and the same thing, he tried to bully my girlfriend to use the pressure washer, so yes I was a bit miffed to say the least. He shows up about an hour later and in my best Thai I told him not to ask to use any of my s&*t and not to even think about my s*(t and to stop bullying my girlfriend, his sister! He explodes and the drama starts, I try to laugh, pretty much "who are you to tell me what to do, I'll teach you, kind of like a road rage incident, he is sheltered by a car and is a big bad, dangerous man blah blah. So yes maybe I became a bit irrational being tired of this bs Thai thing, God forbid you tell them they did something wrong or make them look or feel bad, the rest of the world just deals with it but there seems to be some kind of bubble here. So I walk out of my gate and he gets worse and walks over to grab one of those 3-4ft slabs of wood they use to make fences and stuff with, picks it up and is now threatening me with it, so I show him I have no weapon, he doesn't need a weapon, be a man, one on one, condio you yet pet. So by now half the family and neighborhood is outside or near us trying to calm the situation. So he continues the drama, hops on his bike, I thought oh geez, I am going to die today, thinking he is going to get a gun. So the father and girlfriend and trying to calm me down and I am furious but half laughing. I see him down the street at a friends house, trying to recruit him I guess but no luck. He comes back, I gesture my crying like a little baby which was not so genius. So this time he actually picks up the wood again and is walking toward me ready to swing, my daughter is standing in front of me terrified and crying, the father is to my right, also in line of fire, my girlfriend is in front of my trying to tell me to calm down and let it go so she is oblivious to what is about to happen. So anyway I have to push my daughter to the ground and push the girlfriend out of the way and dive in and take a few hits of him swinging at my head which I heard but did not see the stick, I got ahold of his head and luckily got him in a choke hold for about 8 seconds and actually felt bad and thought about spending the next 20 years in Thai prison for killing some poor Thai a-hole maniac.

 

So now I back off and try to assess the situation while the father and girlfriend are trying to calm me down and worst of all and the whole purpose of this post, my daughter is hanging on to be crying and terrified having to see all this so I pick her up and move back behind our fence. I immediately got my motorbike and tried to convey as good as possible that I just need to go away and calm down and also get my daughter the heck of there which succeeded. We drove to his ex bosses business since I buy a lot of stuff from him and we already talked about his behavior the reason he was fired was due to theft and drug abuse, also he could not get along with anyone. Also we have a few police friend who all played the part but are now useless. We then go with the ex boss to the main police station, the officer on duty could barely lift his head up from chatting on facebook or playing juju I have no clue but we explained the situation as another officer came into the room and the first officer just went back to doing whatever he was doing and I just thought <deleted>, some psychopath just tried to kill me and my young daughter and none of them gave a rats butt and said "Oh you have to fill out a form some thing something blah blah" I just shook my head and left, not sure why I thought it would be any different. In the meantime the brother went off to hide but showed up late in the evening to the mothers house with open arms, nice loyalty, put a thief, drug addict psychopath above your vulnerable granddaughter! 

 

So here we are, you hopefully can empathize and get the gravity of the situation, I am obviously not in Kansas anymore! I need some good advice, there has to be some people on this board that have lived here long enough to know how to deal with the BS and red tape and have a solution or someone I can contact with the authorities so as not to create heat for any officers here who haven't done their job and make more problems for myself since this is no my country! Do I need to give the police some kind of financial motivation, not bribery but it seems to work for traffic related stuff which is minor in this case? My girlfriend filed a report and now a week later the brother is still free and nothing has been done other than a visit to the brothers and mothers home and I was told he saw them and ran off into the nearby fields, so they had the motorbike, with just the license plate but no little paper yearly thing that I have been cited for not having on my bike when I lived in BKK, they confiscated my bike and ID until I could produce the tag thing but nothing to him, absolutely nothing, it's a a disgrace but no surprise, I even called the tourist police, same thing, just a waste of time!! Also I have the license number of the bike, so in addition does anyone have the contacts or resources to track the owner of the motorbike if I email or PM it to them? The brother has no book, documentation, no ID and still nothing was done, I was told "Gee, the owner or cosigner of the bike must not have filed a theft complaint" The older sister who actually owns the home the mother and brother live in and same story, "Mama won't do nothing so what can I do" I have pics of the brother, bike etc but at my wits end, this guy is dangerous and a future confrontation is unavoidable, I have stayed away at the request of the family to "Take care of things" <deleted> I am the bad guy and have to live like a fugitive and can't even visit my daughter at her own house and have to also fear for her safety, I have slept about an hour this whole week, if I could I would be on the next plane out of her with my daughter but that is never going to happen, she is not going to be separated from her mother, I can just imagine even if I could having a young daughter crying and screaming for her mother and trying to get her on a plane, that would go well!

 

So anyway, please someone reach out and give me some solution other than just "It's Thailand, what are you going to do" bs there has to be something that can be done.

 

Thanks in advance and again no negative bs unproductive banter, it could happen to any of us with a permanent connection to a Thai and Thailand and yes the post is long, just posting "A-hole uncle tries to knock me out with a board" is not going to lead to any solution!!!

[CharlieH]

If you cant fix the situation, and you probably wont, remove yourself and your loved ones from it.

 

[kellersphuket]

"I feel you may have to deal with this, in the harshest possible way Mr. Torrance." 

Edited September 22, 2019 by kellersphuket

[thaiguzzi]

Some points;

# I've knocked my wife's uncle out sparko before, in front of all the rellies inc MIL (his sister!).

No biggie.

If he is an Ahole, everybody else knows he is an Ahole, then everyone understands why you did it and that he had it coming.

# To get the coppers to actually do something in these sort of scenarios (unless you have a proper cop-buddy), yes it will involve bribery.

A couple of years ago a horrible auntie (the witch, or her own family's nickname - "the black rat") had a drug addict toyboy.

Said toyboy one morning attacked Grandpa.

Cops got involved, but nothing was going to happen proper.

My missus was not having that, went down the police station herself, asked what it would cost that the guy actually goes to court and does some time.

5k would sort it. My missus pulled out 5k and said sort it. Now.

A week later, useless druggie-bully-scumbag is in front of a judge in a provincial court and sentenced to 3 months in nick for ABH. And had to do a bunch of post release drug rehab programs.

# My missus, regardless of who you are in the club heirachy, will not put up with slackers, druggies, thieves, and most important to her, liars.

If you lie to her, you are out of her life, does'nt matter if you are her brother, you are out.

  Food for thought in your scenario. Time for your family to get tough. Tough love.

 

[holy cow cm]

He should be drug tested and then they can hold him, but then this could involve the people who sold him the drugs and gets sticky. But it would be nice if it all fell on the loose cannon as he is the one who bought and is doing the drugs. 

 

Honestly it won't stop with this guy, and the situation can explode if this guy gets the right mood and cocktail mix of drug and booze in him. Sounds like you are out in the sticks in Issan. The real answer is watch your back really well and don't go out at night or too early morning, but watch your back. Why not get some cc tv installed and have that as back up evidence and surveillance. Being in a place like you explain can get very dangerous for a foreigner.

 

Hire a cop when he is off duty as your body guard, meaning when the brother shows up, call him and have him rush over. Can't buy the cops but you can hire them off duty. 

 

I have had a situation or two like this, but was not a member of the family. Just some <deleted> who live in the same housing area. will never go away unit either you do or he does. 

[holy cow cm]

4 minutes ago, thaiguzzi said:

Cops got involved, but nothing was going to happen proper.

My missus was not having that, went down the police station herself, asked what it would cost that the guy actually goes to court and does some time.

5k would sort it. My missus pulled out 5k and said sort it. Now.

A week later, useless druggie-bully-scumbag is in front of a judge in a provincial court and sentenced to 3 months in nick for ABH. And had to do a bunch of post release drug rehab programs.

Yeah you said it before me while I was writing about the drugs and they can hold him. But this depends where he is at and if any member of the family like his GF would go talk to the cops and offer a fee charge to get them off their behinds. Also this will not defuse the situation with this guy as he will stew on it if he knows the OP was behind putting him away. Has to be caught like anonymous without him knowing there was a fee paid. 

[Matzzon]

48 minutes ago, jmansilla said:

I will try to keep this as short as possible

No problem, but I do think that you missed that.

[Nyezhov]

21 minutes ago, kellersphuket said:

"I feel you may have to deal with this, in the harshest possible way Mr. Torrance." 

do you think that reccomending homicide is a responsible thing to do?

[BritManToo]

TL:DR

Best not to associate with Thais, then you won't encounter these problems.

Move somewhere far from your gfs family, tell her she can come, if she wants.

[jmansilla]

Thanks all, that did enter my mind before I let him go!! I hate to say the thought never entered my mind until now, it would probably cost me 10k baht to change a murder to self defense given the history of the situation vs 20k baht to have him disappear, I am just tired of having to put my tail between my legs with the other Thai encounters, wussy cowards and their 5 friends with machetes as revenge but in all reality, in military terms, take out the threat before the threat takes you out.

 

But in all seriousness 5k baht was what I was thinking but not to put him away for a few months, I need 5+ years so where does that fall on the menu? Ha, funny but not funny, life doesn't have much value.

 

Come on, anyone on this forum have some kind of connection that I can give the license plate number to? It would slow him down and take the wind out of his sails not having transportation if I could at least get the bike taken away, I can see screwing a foreigner but a Thai screwing one of their own is pretty bad!

[colinneil]

Just now, jmansilla said:

Thanks all, that did enter my mind before I let him go!! I hate to say the thought never entered my mind until now, it would probably cost me 10k baht to change a murder to self defense given the history of the situation vs 20k baht to have him disappear, I am just tired of having to put my tail between my legs with the other Thai encounters, wussy cowards and their 5 friends with machetes as revenge but in all reality, in military terms, take out the threat before the threat takes you out.

 

But in all seriousness 5k baht was what I was thinking but not to put him away for a few months, I need 5+ years so where does that fall on the menu? Ha, funny but not funny, life doesn't have much value.

 

Come on, anyone on this forum have some kind of connection that I can give the license plate number to? It would slow him down and take the wind out of his sails not having transportation if I could at least get the bike taken away, I can see screwing a foreigner but a Thai screwing one of their own is pretty bad!

Stop getting yourself wound up, will not do you any good.

Take Charlies advice, get out with your loved ones, and stay out, problem solved.

[Destiny1990]

Gosh how i envy all these guys in these dead boring provinces living near to their wifes her relatives

Sounds Like Paradise !

Edited September 22, 2019 by Destiny1990

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, Destiny1990 said:

Gosh how i envy all these guys in these dead boring provinces living near to their wifes relatives

Sounds Like Paradise !

I managed 4 days way back in the past, then I left, never to return.

[Greyhat]

I feel like moving further away from whereever you are, what are you still doing there? time to go bro.

[colinneil]

5 minutes ago, Destiny1990 said:

Gosh how i envy all these guys in these dead boring provinces living near to their wifes her relatives

Sounds Like Paradise !

It is paradise for me, since i had the electric gate fitted..... The buggers dont get in.... lovely situation.

[GreasyFingers]

1 hour ago, Nyezhov said:

do you think that reccomending homicide is a responsible thing to do?

Not homicide, but maybe permanent injury.

[GreasyFingers]

1 hour ago, colinneil said:

Stop getting yourself wound up, will not do you any good.

Take Charlies advice, get out with your loved ones, and stay out, problem solved.

I know you are incapacitated but some of us were brought to to take not sh#t from no one.

Edited September 22, 2019 by GreasyFingers

[holy cow cm]

I am sure everyone can relate a bit at what he is saying or at least understand his situation. Se what the GF can do talking and working something out with the cops. Best scenario besides moving out. 

[CharlieH]

posts advocating violence/breaking the law, have been removed.

[kellersphuket]

1 hour ago, Nyezhov said:

do you think that reccomending homicide is a responsible thing to do?

it's a joke mr. serious. 

dont take everything to heart buddy.

[jmansilla]

7 minutes ago, GreasyFingers said:

I know you are incapacitated but some of us were brought to to take not sh#t from no one.

I hear you, funny but not funny, that's how I grew up, I have some great friends that we either verbally or physically sorted things out and all was good, not here though, maybe it's all the <deleted> they see on Thai TV shows, geez, really out of hand, look cross eyed at me and get shot or stabbed! After the actual brawl that is what I said to the family, dogs fight, cats fight, brothers fight, all to establish who is king of the hill, top of the food chain, he got choked out by an old man, just let it go and he moves on with his life, what's he going to do next, sprinkle magic Thai pixie dust on me!! Hence the beginning of the problem, for some reason I have seen it has gotten much worse with the Thai's and even the Thai's against other Thai's they will run you over with their SUV or car while your on a motorbike with children and have not even one singe regret until they get arrested, then just do a good job at the "Wai" and off they go to do it again but worse since they got away with it, there is no punishment here! I know it has gotten bad all over the world, like "End of Days" or some crazy movie but getting out of hand, life has no meaning anymore! About a year ago in Huay Kwang, we were in the food market at about 6pm, some young Thai guys had a dispute and made some guy look bad, they came back and right in front of a huge crowd walked up and slit a guys throat from ear to ear, with not sure what but he pretty much bled to death in under a minute, really gory and messed up, it was a reality wake up call where I am and I really do avoid much interaction with them! We can only put our tail between our legs due to the crazy culture for so long but yes, it leads to nothing good for us foreigners who have some morals, ethics, code whatever, I can't imagine pummelling someone smaller or even my size just out of spite, it's just out of control here!!

[Golden Triangle]

I can't offer you any advice mate just deep sympathy for your terrible situation and moral support that you will be able to resolve this as cleanly as possible, I wish you all the best in the world and really hope that you can get this scumbag for as long as possible with a decent prison sentence.

 

Please keep us all posted.

[jmansilla]

2 minutes ago, kellersphuket said:

it's a joke mr. serious. 

dont take everything to heart buddy.

 

16 minutes ago, holy cow cm said:

I am sure everyone can relate a bit at what he is saying or at least understand his situation. Se what the GF can do talking and working something out with the cops. Best scenario besides moving out. 

With you on that, even then you really have to work hard to get them to see the plan! I am thinking the motorbike is the best strategy, take him and the bike, he has no proof it's his bike or he has no right to be using it and put it on him to prove it's his or he has the right to be riding it, that's how they have treated me for 500 baht to prove I own the bike. I made copies of my book and that was still not enough, they declared I had to always have the blue or green book I forget but eventually I had a Fino stolen, great for them, the book was under the seat so you can't win here!

[jmansilla]

2 minutes ago, Golden Triangle said:

I can't offer you any advice mate just deep sympathy for your terrible situation and moral support that you will be able to resolve this as cleanly as possible, I wish you all the best in the world and really hope that you can get this scumbag for as long as possible with a decent prison sentence.

 

Please keep us all posted.

Thanks man, this seems to be either a great place or a miserable place! Anyway, I like your name, do you know any Triads or Ninja's to sneak up and get him ha!

[ratcatcher]

2 hours ago, colinneil said:

It is paradise for me, since i had the electric gate fitted..... The buggers dont get in.... lovely situation.

Shocking, just shocking!!

[ratcatcher]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Move somewhere far from your gfs family, tell her she can come, if she wants.

They say Portugal is nice at this time of year, or maybe Ecuador. Luckily he didn't make his girlfriend his wife..

[steven100]

3 hours ago, colinneil said:

Stop getting yourself wound up, will not do you any good.

Take Charlies advice, get out with your loved ones, and stay out, problem solved.

OP ….  take Colinneil's and Charlies advice ….. move far far away as possible with your wife and daughter if you can.

Forget the damn motorbike … it means nothing, stolen or whatever, who cares about a damn bike.

Just calm down, and methodically plan to relocate far far away.  Never speak to them again.

[CharlieH]

Lets not have any further inappropriate or unlawful suggestions please.

[kingofthemountain]

For the OP

 

it is not your country

it is not your family

law and police are not at your side here

and if everything turn really wrong, don't be so sure the family will be at your side too

you could be a little be disapointed.

 

As some have suggested to you already

it's time to move far from your actual location

better advice i can give from my little experience of the country.

 

I just hope you can move with your GF

and your daughter, but do it quickly.

 

Good luck

[worgeordie]

3 hours ago, colinneil said:

It is paradise for me, since i had the electric gate fitted..... The buggers dont get in.... lovely situation.

Electric fence next, is it Colin.

regards worgeordie