Hi fellow expats,

 

I've been in Bangkok for 4 months, been on dates with around 7-8 girls. Found one that I thought was very sweet, and we have been together for 2-3 months. I haven't used any dating sites since things we started sleeping together. 

One thing that bugs me though, is that whenever she is showing me something on her phone and starts typing; recent searches always show thaiflirting or thaifriendly. I haven't brought it up, but I suspect that she goes on these quite often. 

 

If that's the case I don't think that's fair because I don't go on dating sites any more. Also, she keeps messaging every evening to check where I am and what I am doing, which while annoying, I am OK with. 

 

I am somewhat new to dating in Thailand, any advice?

 

PS: I am 29, she is 23.

sounds like she is selling her bits on the side for some income supplement, you should give her a pay rise.

This post introduces a brand new addition to the Kellersphere and was brought to you by Kellerstainment Enterprises Inc.

My first Thai gf kept going where we met: Thaifriendly. I asked her why and she said that she had friends on the site. I asked her how she would feel if I kept using the site and she then deleted her account. Met my wife on the same website and did not even have to ask for her to delete her account. 

19 minutes ago, ZenBen said:

I am somewhat new to dating in Thailand, any advice?

If she's 23, Thai and attractive, she mostly likely knows what websites to use to get many, many thousands of baht, often without even meeting anyone!

 

 

45 minutes ago, ZenBen said:

I am somewhat new to dating in Thailand, any advice?

Have some on the side as well, she ain't gonna stop.

Enough now Kellers..getting real sad now.

If she has many friends around her who make a decent income with multiple farang dating, the temptation can get to strong.

 

On the other hand a bar girl can end up in being a faithful girlfriend and a doctor can end up in being a multiple relationship, swinger freak.

 

Don't forget the cultural attraction either. Human nature often seeks to mix or breed amongst one's own either socially or ethnically. Getting hooked with a farang can often  just be a safety valve for survival or a better living. Of course there are many, many exceptions, and good for those in a happy relationship.

 

But one needs to use extra caution and not get (financially) to deeply involved.

 

And the golden mantra for any lady in the world....if you have a doubt, she's not the right one.

May be she's checking to see what you're doing. ? 

 

Here's a novel idea, talk to her, and discuss it, tell her your concerns, agree mutually that you'll both stop using it.

That might be a start.

1 hour ago, ZenBen said:

I am somewhat new to dating in Thailand, any advice?

i have had two Thai girlfriends who love me. they act just like women back home who loved me. They don't play around and will be with you every waking moment if they can. They expect you to respect them and not lie. When you tell them you love them they respond just like a women in the west. When it was over they both cried and it was natural and sad and difficult, just like back home. 

 

i have had dozens of Thai "girlfriends" who really don't care if I live or die. If you say you love them they get a deer in the head light look on their face.  

 

4 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

May be she's checking to see what you're doing. ? 

 

Here's a novel idea, talk to her, and discuss it, tell her your concerns, agree mutually that you'll both stop using it.

That might be a start.

I haven't logged in for a couple of months. So no excuse for her to login all the time. 

1 hour ago, ZenBen said:

I am somewhat new to dating in Thailand, any advice?

 

My advice is to always bear this in mind: as a foreigner here, you are being discriminated in many ways. One of these ways is the strong social convention forbidding a Thai lady to start an intimate relationships with a foreigner in a totally disinterested way. That's something reserved to Thai men only.

As you probably know, search suggestions stay around for a long time, so she might not be visiting those sites currently but they'll still come up as predictive search suggestions when she types a "t" and an "h"....

 

If you have developed feelings for her beyond sexual possession and suspicious jealousy, you might want to let her know.  If she's on the same page, she ought to be happy to clear her Google/browser search history so that you aren't tortured when snatching glances of the screen as she types.

 

There's a possibility she doesn't feel the same way about you though, so brace yourself and be a man about it.  

I am somewhat new to dating in Thailand, any advice?

 

Super advise from a super hero!

 

36 minutes ago, NCC1701A said:

If you say you love them they get a deer in the head light look on their face.  

When I tell them I love them, they always ask for a house.

Back in the west, and here.

26 minutes ago, 55Jay said:

As you probably know, search suggestions stay around for a long time, so she might not be visiting those sites currently but they'll still come up as predictive search suggestions when she types a "t" and an "h"....

 

 

I was surprised no one had pointed that detail out earlier, because search history DOES persist in browsers and mobile browsers until that history is cleared either manually or thru an automatic setting, which most Thai women probably have no clue about.

 

So, the fact her search history with the dating sites keeps popping up doesn't necessarily mean she's still looking at them now or recently -- though she certainly could be.... One quick thing to do if you're at all tech minded is to borrow her phone briefly, go into the browser and clear the search history, and THEN see what's popping up thereafter. That would provide your answer.

 

Of course, the history feature itself also is organized by date (today, last 7 days, last month, etc). So before clearing the browsing history, you could also just look at the top of it and see if there are any recent entries for the kind you're worrying about.

 

 

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

When I tell them I love them, they always ask for a house.

Back in the west, and here.

What nonsense, when i told my wife ( then girlfriend ) i loved her, went back to the UK FOR A FEW MONTHS, SHE BUILT A HOUSE FOR US.

Yes she built and paid for a house, not me.

42 minutes ago, NCC1701A said:

i have had two Thai girlfriends who love me. they act just like women back home who loved me. They don't play around and will be with you every waking moment if they can. They expect you to respect them and not lie. When you tell them you love them they respond just like a women in the west. When it was over they both cried and it was natural and sad and difficult, just like back home. 

 

i have had dozens of Thai "girlfriends" who really don't care if I live or die. If you say you love them they get a deer in the head light look on their face.  

 

I like the expression "they get a deer in the head light look on their face". , however I often wonder why the deer stare at the head light. Is it trying to commit suicide?

9 minutes ago, TallGuyJohninBKK said:

 

I was surprised no one had pointed that detail out earlier, because search history DOES persist in browsers and mobile browsers until that history is cleared either manually or thru an automatic setting, which most Thai women probably have no clue about.

 

So, the fact her search history with the dating sites keeps popping up doesn't necessarily mean she's still looking at them now or recently -- though she certainly could be.... One quick thing to do if you're at all tech minded is to borrow her phone briefly, go into the browser and clear the search history, and THEN see what's popping up thereafter. That would provide your answer.

 

Of course, the history feature itself also is organized by date (today, last 7 days, last month, etc). So before clearing the browsing history, you could also just look at the top of it and see if there are any recent entries for the kind you're worrying about.

 

 

Technically, I could login to my own old account. Thaiflirting shows when the user last logged in. However, if I login, I will also appear as logged in recently. ????

41 minutes ago, Camillof said:

 

My advice is to always bear this in mind: as a foreigner here, you are being discriminated in many ways. One of these ways is the strong social convention forbidding a Thai lady to start an intimate relationships with a foreigner in a totally disinterested way. That's something reserved to Thai men only.

Agree, my ex girlfriends were often asked how "generous" i was.

2 minutes ago, ZenBen said:

Technically, I could login to my own old account. Thaiflirting shows when the user last logged in. However, if I login, I will also appear as logged in recently. ????

Not if you deactivate your account. It can be reactivated if needed later. 

7 minutes ago, colinneil said:

What nonsense, when i told my wife ( then girlfriend ) i loved her, went back to the UK FOR A FEW MONTHS, SHE BUILT A HOUSE FOR US.

Yes she built and paid for a house, not me.

We're both doing it wrong Colin.

I'm a kept man. After helping to support my wife for more than five years years, she looks after me now I've stopped working. Her house, car, motorbike, she paid for them all.

You could talk to her what she thinks about flirting and/or meeting others.

If you want to have her just for yourself tell her.

6 minutes ago, ZenBen said:

Technically, I could login to my own old account. Thaiflirting shows when the user last logged in. However, if I login, I will also appear as logged in recently. ????

Rejoin, pseudonym, tap her up, sorted. 

5 minutes ago, ZenBen said:

Technically, I could login to my own old account. Thaiflirting shows when the user last logged in. However, if I login, I will also appear as logged in recently. ????

 I'm not talking about the dating sites involved.

 

I understood from your OP she was accessing the dating sites via a web browser on her phone, and that's where you were seeing the use history popping up from time to time. It's the browser use history I was talking about, which can either be deleted manually to start clean/fresh, or can be examined to see how recently the user actually went to that particular website...

 

 

8 minutes ago, Tayaout said:

Not if you deactivate your account. It can be reactivated if needed later. 

Last logged in: 5 hours ago ????

There are always going to be some promiscuous Thai women, and some who are quite happy with just one.

I can remember a massage woman who was quite ugly, but it did not interfere with her having a husband, a police sah mee noi, and a gik as well. She was never available for work on Tuesday or Thursday afternoons. That was when the policeman and the gik were shagging her.

All this advice, from all of these farang experts, but nobody has suggested that maybe ZenBen is her "side date".

2 hours ago, ZenBen said:

Hi fellow expats,

 

I've been in Bangkok for 4 months, been on dates with around 7-8 girls. Found one that I thought was very sweet, and we have been together for 2-3 months. I haven't used any dating sites since things we started sleeping together. 

One thing that bugs me though, is that whenever she is showing me something on her phone and starts typing; recent searches always show thaiflirting or thaifriendly. I haven't brought it up, but I suspect that she goes on these quite often. 

Hi young padawan

as you write you just ''sleep'' together i presume she is trying on the sites to find someone to have sex with. 55

More seriously do you live in her house'condo or in your?

If you are at your home and she acts like this, is simply a total lack of respect for you

you can resolve it with a deal, propose to her next time you see her doing that in your home when you are here, you break her phone (And of course if she does it, do what you have promised) but it's not going very far with your relationship or you can try just now to find someone else who realy respect you.

It is as simple as that.

Ah and if you are in her condo, do not forget to pack your stuff and move

you can break later with a sms, so you can avoid most of the drama and save

your stuff (Computer, clothes etc...)