Marrying a Thai woman who has no money or resource

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

7 minutes ago, NancyL said:

Hey guys, there was a time in the western world when the norm was for a woman, no matter how well educated or well-paying her job, was expected to quit her career and become Susie homemaker upon marriage.  There were rules against married women continuing their jobs as stewardesses, teachers, nurses, etc.  The husband was expected to be the bread-winner and the wife was expected to raise the children and keep a neat home.  I hear many western guys here lamenting how western women no longer follow this norm and aren't "feminine" like Thai women.  

 

Sounds like this is what the OP's wife is doing.  He's not complaining about her constantly asking for money for her extended family, is he?  He's complaining about perfectly reasonable household expenses.  It's time for him to be a "real man" and live up to his responsibilities.  He knew what he was in for when he got married. 

I am very responsible, just letting off a bit steam. Surely not being responsible would be not to put up the cash wish I always do.

[at15]

im sure the extended family asks for money LOL, Jeff would be lower on the totem pole than family to a Thai woman 

[Assurancetourix]

33 minutes ago, thequietman said:

Vaccum cleaner 2000 baht.

Tyre 5000 ! What's she driving, a tractor?

Tyre 5,000;

it's the price for a Michelin or Bridgestone for my pickup Isuzu 3,000 cc;

I did 127,000 km with the first set;

 

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

2 minutes ago, BobbyL said:

Unless someone is rich, physically / mentally incapable of working, raising a newborn etc, then the people who just choose not to work and then try and sponge off someone else are the epitome of lazy. 

 

Just imagine the people around the world that would do anything for a chance to be able to work and even earn a low salary.

 

If your kids are of school age I would be telling her to get out and start earning her part in your relationship. We aren't living in 1910.

Like I say she has tried a couple of jobs. Thing is if she gets a full time job then I'm suddenly house husband, pick the kids up make the dinner etc, then she will be complaining non stop that she's tired. Have to be a bit careful with that one but hear what you're saying.

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

1 minute ago, at15 said:

im sure the extended family asks for money LOL, Jeff would be lower on the totem pole than family to a Thai woman 

Ah, the bar stool wisdom. There it is.

[Saltire]

 

Posted 30 minutes ago (edited)

Unlike some expats I do happen to like the woman I married, she is a nice person (most of the time) she is quite clever, doesn't have any vices and is a good mother, but supporting her year after year is now becoming a massive burden for me. Yes she can go to work but she aint gonna earn much money is she (and she has tried a few things already) and I would then most likely to be asked to play Dad to our son and I'm not the house husband type. I've laid my bed, but would never do it again..

 

Genuine advice for any newbies here, do NOT marry a woman with no money, just don't do it, it is like supporting a child and you will be burdened down for years, if not forever.

 

KKJ

 

My wife now has no money. Her family has no money as she sunk her life savings of 20 years into building our house, she paying 40% me 60%. I did this not to be 'burdened down for years' as I actually want to spend the rest of my life with her. Our agreement was I pay everything , but 'everything' can be done with less than 15k per month. Her savings came from being the most frugal person I ever met. Before I came along she was the sole provider for her 95+ year old father, alcoholic (but agreeable!) step mother, and handicapped brother, none of whom have ever worked. Her other brother was a monk (abbot) for 15 years so could help in few a few ways but never with actual money. He now lives with us, pays his way through a small business doing music etc for weddings etc. 3 weeks ater he left the wat, he won the Thai lottery on his frst ever ticket and bought us a Hilux. Karma?

 

She saved this money by working in various cities in various jobs, mainly in sweatshops working double shifts. Her family never take a resident ATM for granted. I am hapy to provide for 2 households. It's cheap!

 

It sounds like you have a good woman who likes the life you are providing. Her phiosophy of buying quality one time instead of buying twice is sound. I agree however it's the surprises like car maintenance that can occasionally throw you a curve ball.

 

I guess from the other posts you're not exactly struggling financialy, just irked now and again when you have to shell out unexpectedly. I'd say take a look at what you do have as you sound quite lucky, and count yur blessings.

Edited October 22, 2019 by Saltire

[Sheryl]

1 minute ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

Like I say she has tried a couple of jobs. Thing is if she gets a full time job then I'm suddenly house husband, pick the kids up make the dinner etc, then she will be complaining non stop that she's tired. Have to be a bit careful with that one but hear what you're saying.

 

So in other words she IS working, keeping the home and raising children young enough that if she were not there you'd have to stay home to do it.

 

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

Just now, Saltire said:

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Posted 30 minutes ago (edited)

Unlike some expats I do happen to like the woman I married, she is a nice person (most of the time) she is quite clever, doesn't have any vices and is a good mother, but supporting her year after year is now becoming a massive burden for me. Yes she can go to work but she aint gonna earn much money is she (and she has tried a few things already) and I would then most likely to be asked to play Dad to our son and I'm not the house husband type. I've laid my bed, but would never do it again..

 

Genuine advice for any newbies here, do NOT marry a woman with no money, just don't do it, it is like supporting a child and you will be burdened down for years, if not forever.

 

KKJ

 

My wife now has no money. Her family has no money as she sunk her life savings of 20 years into building our house, she paying 40% me 60%. I did this not to be 'burdened down for years' as I actually want to spend the rest of my life with her. Our agreement was I pay everything , but 'everything' can be done with less than 15k per month. Her savings came from being the most frugal person I ever met. Before I came along she was the sole provider for her 95+ year old father, alcoholic (but agreeable!) step mother, and handicapped brother, none of whom have ever worked. Her other brother was a monk (abbot) for 15 years so could help in few a few ways but never with actual money. He now lives with us, pays his way through a small business doing music etc for weddings etc. 3 weeks ater he left the wat, he won the Thai lottery on his frst ever ticket and bought us a Hilux. Karma?

 

She saved this money by working in various cities in various jobs, mainly in sweatshops working double shifts. Her family never take a resident ATM for granted. I am hapy to provide for 2 households. It's cheap!

 

It sounds like you have a good woman who likes the life you are providing. Her phiosophy of buying quality one time instead of buying twice is sound. I agree however it's the surprises like car maintenance that can occasionally throw you a curve ball.

 

I guess from the other posts you're not exactly struggling financialy, just irked now and again when you have to shell out unexpectedly. I'd say take a look at what you do have as you sound quite lucky, and count yur blessings.

Noted, thanks.

[Enoon]

30 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

She is reasonable..she was the one who wanted the nice flashy car, I don't care about cars..

 

She's beginning to sound not very reasonable and also quite demanding for someone who had zero future when she met you.

 

And a new vacuum cleaner?

 

You have carpets?

 

Whose idea were they?

 

I fear that storm clouds are gathering near you.

 

 

[Assurancetourix]

15 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

can get a tire for half the price

A chinese one ..

 

and looking in the ditches of Thailand, I can even find several gratis ...

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

Just now, Sheryl said:

 

So in other words she IS working, keeping the home and raising children young enough that if she were not there you'd have to stay home to do it.

 

I never said she wasn't working, although hours spent in the day actually working aren't that many, she often naps and is on her phone a lot (like many are) She pays a laundry woman bt1800 a month for all the laundry.

[at15]

1 minute ago, Enoon said:

 

She's beginning to sound not very reasonable and also quite demanding for someone who had zero future when she met you.

 

And a new vacuum cleaner?

 

You have carpets?

 

Whose idea were they?

 

I fear that storm clouds are gathering near you.

 

 

it depends if she is white skinned, slim, on the taller side then there are many thai men who would provide her anything she wants . 

[nikmar]

Im in a similar boat to you. My wife doesnt make much if at all being self employed.

 

She does try tho.

 

I love her but today Im starting a go fund me page to buy a new washing machine as the last one went kaput this morning.

 

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

1 minute ago, Enoon said:

 

She's beginning to sound not very reasonable and also quite demanding for someone who had zero future when she met you.

 

And a new vacuum cleaner?

 

You have carpets?

 

Whose idea were they?

 

I fear that storm clouds are gathering near you.

 

 

Nope no carpets, she wanted a vacuum always had one I think, I don't take much notice. If asked her why she will say she wants a vaccum to get to all the nooks and crannies, inside the sofa and in corners etc..

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

Just now, nikmar said:

Im in a similar boat to you. My wife doesnt make much if at all being self employed.

 

She does try tho.

 

I love her but today Im starting a go fund me page to buy a new washing machine as the last one went kaput this morning.

 

Always something to pay for.

[marqus12]

I pushed my girlfriend without a penny (who before made money

by quickly opening her legs) to a normal job and the kid to babysitter.

She earns around 20,000 baht but I don't see her much
and I don't have to talk to her, just time for boom boom and sleep.
Another plus !

But we are the same age and job need to be with A/C

otherwise she go crazy .

Edited October 22, 2019 by marqus12

[lopburi3]

37 minutes ago, thequietman said:

The Samsung won't break down in a year and so will pay for itself.

I would not be so sure of that - ours didn't.  Now have 1.800 baht Sharp that will not die.

[NanLaew]

26 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

can get a tire for half the price

Easily yes. Maxis versus Bridgestone for example. But the former wont be the same quality of the latter. The OP states that he wasn't in the vicinity so yes, I can see the typical Thai driver buying the same brand of tire that the SUV came with, especially women.

[NanLaew]

27 minutes ago, at15 said:

The problem is most of these Thai people's obsession with money.

I am not Thai and I place a lot of emphasis on my household income.

 

Is that my Thainess showing through (at last)?

[Doge]

Get your finances sorted. When your kid can go to school, move somewhere wife can get a job. Even 10k will help and she'll not be sitting around spending it. Move to BKK, teach if you can. She can easily make 12k doing not much of anything. She's prolly ok, you've allowed her some bad financial habits.

 

Nothing wrong with stay at home moms when kids are small.

 

You don't need a Fortuner in BKK. You don't need a car.

[onekoolguy]

12 minutes ago, at15 said:

it depends if she is white skinned, slim, on the taller side then there are many thai men who would provide her anything she wants . 

Seldom mentioned but very true!

[NanLaew]

37 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

Yes thanks mate, reading that has helped. The lad is 9 been at a (private) school for 6 years..have a younger girl too.

If you plan on taking the family back home for further education and maybe working overseas, a private Thai schooling is only marginally advantageous. I know of 5 families that took their 11 to 13 year-olds out of a regular Thai school, went home to UK or Australia and they dovetailed with their new classmates quite easily after only a few months. If you have no plans to repatriate the tribe at all, private Thai schooling is a complete waste of money.

[baansgr]

Food is cheap, you get all your cooking and cleaning done with sex thrown in to boot....shouldn't cost more than 10k a month to feed and cloth her, if even that much......but seems like you have a money grabber that is squiriling money off somewhere else and she's obviously upping prices on everything you buy. Marriage made in heaven.

[marqus12]

@transam @Doge 
what you didn't understand in my post ?

[lopburi3]

1 minute ago, NanLaew said:

If you have no plans to repatriate the tribe at all, private Thai schooling is a complete waste of money.

Not really - many private Thai schools offer more than the public government alternative.  But believe you were thinking the much more expensive international type schools when you made that statement.

[brokenbone]

1 hour ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

This is the other thing nothing she gets is cheap..the vaccum was indeed 5k it is a top end samsung one..as for the tyre I'm not in the vicinity but she doesn't lie about these things, if she says it's 5k then it's 5k maybe she was ripped off, we have a new fortuner..

not unreasonable at all, my chopper tyre was 4.5k

[NanLaew]

18 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

Nope no carpets, she wanted a vacuum always had one I think, I don't take much notice. If asked her why she will say she wants a vaccum to get to all the nooks and crannies, inside the sofa and in corners etc..

You are truly blessed if you have a local lass who wants to keep the home clean in the manner of a US, UK, etc., home. There's been plenty threads where otherwise nice, accommodating farangs go postal when it comes to the dirty floor cloths, piles of unwashed dishes and dust an inch thick that tends to come with an otherwise idyllic, up-country, tribal life.

[marqus12]

3 minutes ago, baansgr said:

but seems like you have a money grabber that is squiriling money off somewhere else and she's obviously upping prices on everything you buy. Marriage made in heaven.

Keep them busy, like work.
They don't have time to play games then .

[poohy]

Been together 10 years and

 

Met my Mrs when she had more money than me (share dealings /speculation gone horribly wrong dont ever ask!)

 

...and she was broke as well

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

2 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

You are truly blessed if you have a local lass who wants to keep the home clean in the manner of a US, UK, etc., home. There's been plenty threads where otherwise nice, accommodating farangs go postal when it comes to the dirty floor cloths, piles of unwashed dishes and dust an inch thick that tends to come with an otherwise idyllic, up-country, tribal life.

Tbh with you she isn't that tidy, but take your point.