Living Outside the City

[Teak]

I suppose I am not surprised when urbans consider 'moving to the country' they don't consider that the countryside consists of communities that you should consider fitting in with; even if only for mutual protection/support. Building a wall between yourself and the community makes you the butt of ill humour. Your isolation and distress will become topics of enjoyable conversation in the community surrounding you. Every rural society likes to see the rich, new guy, who separtes himself, struggle and fail. It is good entertainment; when all he has to do is attempt to join in the best he can. During my 10 years in a remote small village complete with a large extended family, I was protected by them. In a way I was 'owned' by the village. Theirs was the only village that 'had a Farrang'. I was obliged to go to many funerals, weddings as well as stand or sit alongside the 'Phu Yai Ban' when a camera was present or ceremony being held. I did not want to do some of these things, but 30 years later the villagers and family still make me very welcome. My teak house and contents has stood abandoned for 20 years and nothing ever stolen. Of course there was conflict at times, as there is in all communities. There is also a dispute settlement process in every community that you should understand and use. It is basically mediation with the headman making the final decision. There will also be a local 'strong man' that you should be aware of and not inadvertantly cross him. There is a 'system' to each village that makes life there sustainable and far more enjoyable.

[SammyJ]

18 minutes ago, Teak said:

I suppose I am not surprised when urbans consider 'moving to the country' they don't consider that the countryside consists of communities that you should consider fitting in with; even if only for mutual protection/support. Building a wall between yourself and the community makes you the butt of ill humour. Your isolation and distress will become topics of enjoyable conversation in the community surrounding you. Every rural society likes to see the rich, new guy, who separtes himself, struggle and fail. It is good entertainment; when all he has to do is attempt to join in the best he can. During my 10 years in a remote small village complete with a large extended family, I was protected by them. In a way I was 'owned' by the village. Theirs was the only village that 'had a Farrang'. I was obliged to go to many funerals, weddings as well as stand or sit alongside the 'Phu Yai Ban' when a camera was present or ceremony being held. I did not want to do some of these things, but 30 years later the villagers and family still make me very welcome. My teak house and contents has stood abandoned for 20 years and nothing ever stolen. Of course there was conflict at times, as there is in all communities. There is also a dispute settlement process in every community that you should understand and use. It is basically mediation with the headman making the final decision. There will also be a local 'strong man' that you should be aware of and not inadvertantly cross him. There is a 'system' to each village that makes life there sustainable and far more enjoyable.

nice, but not everyone wants to go quite that "native" and simply not having your desires or perspective on things does not mean others are wrong--different strokes for different folks.

[LivinLOS]

1 hour ago, Teak said:

I suppose I am not surprised when urbans consider 'moving to the country' they don't consider that the countryside consists of communities that you should consider fitting in with; even if only for mutual protection/support. Building a wall between yourself and the community makes you the butt of ill humour. Your isolation and distress will become topics of enjoyable conversation in the community surrounding you. Every rural society likes to see the rich, new guy, who separtes himself, struggle and fail. It is good entertainment; when all he has to do is attempt to join in the best he can. During my 10 years in a remote small village complete with a large extended family, I was protected by them. In a way I was 'owned' by the village. Theirs was the only village that 'had a Farrang'. I was obliged to go to many funerals, weddings as well as stand or sit alongside the 'Phu Yai Ban' when a camera was present or ceremony being held. I did not want to do some of these things, but 30 years later the villagers and family still make me very welcome. My teak house and contents has stood abandoned for 20 years and nothing ever stolen. Of course there was conflict at times, as there is in all communities. There is also a dispute settlement process in every community that you should understand and use. It is basically mediation with the headman making the final decision. There will also be a local 'strong man' that you should be aware of and not inadvertantly cross him. There is a 'system' to each village that makes life there sustainable and far more enjoyable.

Agree very much.. 

 

While I dont feel 'my' village is remote enough to be that certain in its protections, its a bit more suburbian and has more transient workers etc.. I totally agree that walling yourself with aggressively visible CCTV and guard dogs is totally counter productive. 

[Bill97]

4 hours ago, SammyJ said:

This sounds very nice--sort of what i was thinking of, but know from other friends and expats that mosquitoes are more of a problem, but that can be dealt with--i was more concerned with security--i have currently many cctv all over my property here--wireless, solar, wifi that work very well, and 3 large aggressive thai ridegback dogs that roam my current property and i have high cement walls topped off with tall spiked metal--...-but am most concerned about the security-

You should be concerned.  With all the security things you have you are advertising that you got a lot of value to be stolen.  
 

wall easily scaled

dogs poisoned

cameras taking photos of people in blakavas

 

 

 

[Antonymous]

4 hours ago, SammyJ said:

thanks, sounds good--any places you'd recommend?

Yes. See post #23.

 

A comment on living in the country in or near a village...

 

Thais are communal folk and a sense of community, as family, is important to them. If you wall yourself in, with spikes on the walls, have aggressive guard dogs and CCTV in an area where nobody else has these things, you are going to separate yourself totally from the community. You will appear to be unfriendly and untrusting and nothing good will come of it.

 

The opposite is to live as many Thai villagers do in houses with no walls, allowing neighbours (and animals) to wander in and out. And you can go to the temple regularly and contribute money to and participate in all the marriage celebrations, funerals and rituals. They may love you for that if you have a happy, friendly and easy going nature. But you may hate that idea, especially if you don't speak Thai.

 

HOWEVER, there is a middle way which is totally acceptable. Your house can have a boundary wall (not too tall, no spikes) and a lockable gate that you can keep closed when you want. Let people know that you like privacy, but are not unapproachable. If you have dogs that's a great excuse to keep the gate shut all the time too. Everyone will understand.

 

There is no need to participate in any of the local rituals either; but DO contribute a little money to the puyaibaan when he/she is collecting for community projects and even for temple festivities. I call this a Council Tax! Costs me 300-500 a month and is one of the reasons that we are accepted and liked and receive smiles and help too whenever needed.

 

Above all, talk to people around you and in the local market or at the very least smile and do your best to be friendly. That way you'll have a happy life. And you'll find that there is always help on hand whenever you need it.

 

[ramrod711]

30 minutes ago, Antonymous said:

Yes. See post #23.

 

A comment on living in the country in or near a village...

 

Thais are communal folk and a sense of community, as family, is important to them. If you wall yourself in, with spikes on the walls, have aggressive guard dogs and CCTV in an area where nobody else has these things, you are going to separate yourself totally from the community. You will appear to be unfriendly and untrusting and nothing good will come of it.

 

The opposite is to live as many Thai villagers do in houses with no walls, allowing neighbours (and animals) to wander in and out. And you can go to the temple regularly and contribute money to and participate in all the marriage celebrations, funerals and rituals. They may love you for that if you have a happy, friendly and easy going nature. But you may hate that idea, especially if you don't speak Thai.

 

HOWEVER, there is a middle way which is totally acceptable. Your house can have a boundary wall (not too tall, no spikes) and a lockable gate that you can keep closed when you want. Let people know that you like privacy, but are not unapproachable. If you have dogs that's a great excuse to keep the gate shut all the time too. Everyone will understand.

 

There is no need to participate in any of the local rituals either; but DO contribute a little money to the puyaibaan when he/she is collecting for community projects and even for temple festivities. I call this a Council Tax! Costs me 300-500 a month and is one of the reasons that we are accepted and liked and receive smiles and help too whenever needed.

 

Above all, talk to people around you and in the local market or at the very least smile and do your best to be friendly. That way you'll have a happy life. And you'll find that there is always help on hand whenever you need it.

 

I agree with everything but I would add one thing. My wife is very social, she knows everyone at the market, quite often vendors stop by the house and offer her "a bargain" on items that she buys regularly that may spoil before the next day. She makes it easy for me, if she was "hi so" or a wannabe I doubt that we would be accepted as well as we have been. I get a kick out of the kids coming and going to school in the van, if they see me they all say hello and wave to me. I always respond with a wave and a hello back.

[LivinLOS]

On 11/8/2019 at 9:17 AM, ramrod711 said:

I agree with everything but I would add one thing. My wife is very social, she knows everyone at the market, quite often vendors stop by the house and offer her "a bargain" on items that she buys regularly that may spoil before the next day. She makes it easy for me, if she was "hi so" or a wannabe I doubt that we would be accepted as well as we have been. I get a kick out of the kids coming and going to school in the van, if they see me they all say hello and wave to me. I always respond with a wave and a hello back.

Its the little things.. 

 

I go out every morning around dawn and ride a beaten up el cheapo (non flash) mountain bike for a bit of cardio.. All the aunties wave and grin and make a connection, all the little stall holders grilled chicken etc.. I make a point of playing along waving and greeting each, even if I am panting and sweating away.. That simple thing gets so much effect, they tell my wife when she goes to the local shop 'saw your husband out.. hes got a big smile' etc etc. I am more known to them all without having to have too much interaction.. 9 from 10 people all react with a smile or hello, and the 1 or 2 that look away, maybe out of grumpyness, maybe out of shyness, I keep working on them.. I keep waving at them, I get them to acknowledge me by keeping cheery.. I greet all in the mom and pop shop.. I have even had funny moments where one wasnt especially friendly and as they left the shop owner lady, pulls a face and nods at them departing, shes backing me up against the grump. Big smiles and laughter, little things like that feel like small integrations. Rural Thais love a clown or someone who doesnt take themselves too seriously. 

Village life has that kind of feedback, suburbian or town life its diluted too much and people are more highly stressed. 

[Teak]

Relative to where that 'countryside' is for you......the point, for the 'rural us' is that it should be interactive to get the most fun out of it. That nod and wink from the Granny who knows you, that respectable nod from your male Thai peers. That charming giggle from school girls.....who may be related to you.... is the reason that some of us choose to spend time in the 'back of beyond'.

 

[mikey88]

Chiang Dao....

Quiet, rice fields, reasonable drive on a good highway.

Good price.

[SammyJ]

On 11/8/2019 at 3:00 PM, Bill97 said:

You should be concerned.  With all the security things you have you are advertising that you got a lot of value to be stolen.  
 

wall easily scaled

dogs poisoned

cameras taking photos of people in blakavas

 

 

 

not concerned at all, but feeling safe and secure, as much as that is possible--i've lived in various locations within Thailand for nearly 30 years--don't kid yourself that the Granny that smiles at you one day, will take from you the next, and while keeping the same smile--if you are foolish enough to offer it up, they will help themselves.

[SammyJ]

On 11/8/2019 at 4:17 PM, ramrod711 said:

I agree with everything but I would add one thing. My wife is very social, she knows everyone at the market, quite often vendors stop by the house and offer her "a bargain" on items that she buys regularly that may spoil before the next day. She makes it easy for me, if she was "hi so" or a wannabe I doubt that we would be accepted as well as we have been. I get a kick out of the kids coming and going to school in the van, if they see me they all say hello and wave to me. I always respond with a wave and a hello back.

i have a Thai family, and Thai children, so we have plenty of social interactions with Thai friends, and children's school friends and their families, and for many visits to the Thai grandparents in Lampang, who live in a small village, where I am well known and have been very generous to all around when help of one kind or another--but living more in the city of CM, i have no need or desire to make my home open and available to anyone who may wish to climb over a low wall and join us or take from us.  If you think that doesn't happen, just because you are friendly or smile, u are sadly kidding yourselves--and, btw, it is my Thai wife and her friends who are most adamant about security, as they know what can likely happen.

[jerojero]

On 11/5/2019 at 12:28 AM, canthai55 said:

You never seen a bad year for forest fires in Canada ?

CNX can't hold a candle

You mean California?

[BritManToo]

On 11/8/2019 at 10:31 AM, SammyJ said:

This sounds very nice--sort of what i was thinking of, but know from other friends and expats that mosquitoes are more of a problem, but that can be dealt with--i was more concerned with security--i have currently many cctv all over my property here--wireless, solar, wifi that work very well, and 3 large aggressive thai ridegback dogs that roam my current property and i have high cement walls topped off with tall spiked metal--so, am pretty secure where i am, but hate the neighbors, the other dogs barking, worrying about my dogs barking and bothering someone (yes, i am a considerate neighbor) and i hear roosters crowing, consistent music from the nearby temple, sirens, etc--tired of it all--but am most concerned about the security--cameras may show you who broke it, and i hear burglars like to poison your dogs first, so not sure that the answer is

another friend was worried about being too far out of the city if emergency medical needs?

Out in SanSai, walled estate of 250 houses, no barking dogs, no noise, no thieving, hardly ever close the windows or lock the doors when I'm out, no mosquitoes want to bite me (doors and windows open no screens).

Not sure 12Km from the moat could be considered 'rural', but it sure feels like ut!

Weird how everyone else has different experiences to me.

 

Edited November 15, 2019 by BritManToo

[BritManToo]

On 11/5/2019 at 2:44 PM, CNXexpat said:

I am living in a moo baan near the Grand Canyon (Nam Phrae/Hangdong). A modern, western designed house beside a lake. To Makro and BigC it´s 15 minutes, 3 times a week there is a large local market 10 minutes away, the Panyaden(?) school and minimum one international kindergarden are 10 minutes drive away. Good restaurants around. Usually it´s very quiet but sometimes at the weekend there are pop concerts 2 km away and they play so loud music that I have to close the windows. But I like the place.
Usually I leave the city for a couple of weeks during the burning season and travel around.

Free swimming in the river at Ob Khan (just up the road from you) as well.