Are you a happy person?

[thaibeachlovers]

On 11/28/2019 at 5:05 AM, spidermike007 said:

I consider happiness to be an inane and nearly impossible thing to measure. On the other hand fulfillment is not. Those of us that lead fulfilling lives enjoy the state of mind that is perhaps being referred to here. 

 

Due to an inability to move the cursdor about the page, I am unable to correct mistakes, or separate words. Please bear with me despite the errors. 
 

As usual, English is a terrible language for emotional things. Something to de with a stiff upper lip and never showing emotion perhaps?

I thought I was asking a simple question but apparently not so simple.

Yes being fullfilled would be part of it, but I meant more along the lines of being at peace with one's self, with one's friends, with one's family, being content with one's lot, and not wanting more than one has. Waking up feeling positive in the morning, not hating one's work, and feeling that one achieved something at the end of the day- being able to look back and feel that one achieved something good. Going to sleep without negativity.

 

I don't work at a job, bei ng retired, but I do a lot of work making things, and I get a great feeling of achievement when I get something to show for my endeavours, a feeling of satisfaction that "I did that". When that happens, I suppose I feel "happy".

However, there is a lot of not feeling happy between the feeling happy bits.

My question is whether people feel "happy" all or most of the time, or just sometimes ( like me ), or hardly ever at all?

 

BTW "not feeling happy" does not mean "unhappy" or negative. It just means the absence of "happiness".

I think if one felt "unhappy" all the time, they are either going to become a bad person, or kill themselves.

 

I do appreciate that "happiness" comes from within, and money or power or lots of sex can't make anyone happy ( though lots of sex sure would take one's mind off feeling unhappy ), but the question I'm curious about is if "happiness" is something one is born with, or not.

[spidermike007]

4 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

 

Due to an inability to move the cursdor about the page, I am unable to correct mistakes, or separate words. Please bear with me despite the errors. 
 

As usual, English is a terrible language for emotional things. Something to de with a stiff upper lip and never showing emotion perhaps?

I thought I was asking a simple question but apparently not so simple.

Yes being fullfilled would be part of it, but I meant more along the lines of being at peace with one's self, with one's friends, with one's family, being content with one's lot, and not wanting more than one has. Waking up feeling positive in the morning, not hating one's work, and feeling that one achieved something at the end of the day- being able to look back and feel that one achieved something good. Going to sleep without negativity.

 

I don't work at a job, bei ng retired, but I do a lot of work making things, and I get a great feeling of achievement when I get something to show for my endeavours, a feeling of satisfaction that "I did that". When that happens, I suppose I feel "happy".

However, there is a lot of not feeling happy between the feeling happy bits.

My question is whether people feel "happy" all or most of the time, or just sometimes ( like me ), or hardly ever at all?

 

BTW "not feeling happy" does not mean "unhappy" or negative. It just means the absence of "happiness".

I think if one felt "unhappy" all the time, they are either going to become a bad person, or kill themselves.

 

I do appreciate that "happiness" comes from within, and money or power or lots of sex can't make anyone happy ( though lots of sex sure would take one's mind off feeling unhappy ), but the question I'm curious about is if "happiness" is something one is born with, or not.

Some are simply born with a great attitude. But, I think most who have one, learn to have a great attitude. It is not a hard thing to learn. Practicing it is harder, but entirely possible. The mind is an incredibly docile and cooperative instrument, if used properly. I believe the mind will believe nearly anything you tell it to believe. So, why not believe the cup is half full? 

[StreetCowboy]

Ivor Cutler’s happy, but I could find no reasonable representation of his joy on Youtube.

[rumak]

On 11/27/2019 at 9:21 PM, Fex Bluse said:

There are different ways to get to happy. 

 

Some countries do it by keeping almost everyone ignorant and satisfied with being unproductive members of our species similar to "maibenrai" philosophy. 

 

Other countries have more considered philosophies such as Swedish "lagom" philosophy or Japanese "ikigai" philosophy. 

I learned a long time ago what I can believe in that will get me through tough times:

I believe I'll have another beer.   

[Odysseus123]

On 11/27/2019 at 9:09 PM, rumak said:

I hope Odysseus will forgive me for moving this photo from another thread.   He refers to them as the real women of Thailand.   As Ireland has found out,  the good ones are not found shopping at the flea mkt in Pattaya.   One of these ladies looks a bit like my lucky find  555

And i do not think anyone of  these ladies speaks English or German or ?    Kills me when some guys here say they don't want to learn Thai.   Of course I also think that these ladies are not the sexy tidbits that our 60 year old expats generally fall for.   Three of these ladies might have some nice features when one gets to look beneath the clothes   ????    And probably sweet and loving .... if the man is right.   

 

Hello Runak,

 

Many thanks for reposting my photo because those smiles were very important to me at a stage in my life when I had become desperately ill.No doctors thought I had a snowballs chance in hell of making it and my friends good company,happiness, courtesy, respect and genuine affection for each other taught me several life lessons that I needed to learn..

 

To relax and be in the moment,to savour every passing day as something "special" and to reach out to the external as opposed to internalizing everything in isolation.To "see" rather than just to "be" and to let things flow...(if I can)..but that still needs lots of work.

 

Hence my addiction to the happy snaps..have you ever noticed that the Thai tend to form little pyramids when they cluster together?

 

[rumak]

7 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

Hello Runak,

 

Many thanks for reposting my photo because those smiles were very important to me at a stage in my life when I had become desperately ill.No doctors thought I had a snowballs chance in hell of making it and my friends good company,happiness, courtesy, respect and genuine affection for each other taught me several life lessons that I needed to learn..

 

To relax and be in the moment,to savour every passing day as something "special" and to reach out to the external as opposed to internalizing everything in isolation.To "see" rather than just to "be" and to let things flow...(if I can)..but that still needs lots of work.

 

Hence my addiction to the happy snaps..have you ever noticed that the Thai tend to form little pyramids when they cluster together?

 

would I be correct to assume that this is YOUR family ?   Thaivisa  needs more people sharing their stories like you have ,  but often it opens one up to being a dartboard    haha

Having more than my share of tough times in life lets me relate to others that have been there and hopefully come out wiser and more empathetic.  As you say.... the work never stops but times do get easier.   Except dealing with father time.   That is a tough one  ????

 

Refresh my memory......... which river is that in the background ?

[Odysseus123]

1 minute ago, rumak said:

would I be correct to assume that this is YOUR family ?   Thaivisa  needs more people sharing their stories like you have ,  but often it opens one up to being a dartboard    haha

Having more than my share of tough times in life lets me relate to others that have been there and hopefully come out wiser and more empathetic.  As you say.... the work never stops but times do get easier.   Except dealing with father time.   That is a tough one  ????

 

Refresh my memory......... which river is that in the background ?

Hi,

No they were a family just doing some shopping at Khon Jiam...at the junction of the Mun and Mekong rivers.They didn't know me and just stopped for a bit of banter and a smile.

There is a great thread going at the moment about a daily diary in Isaan-very genuine stuff.

 

[rumak]

4 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

Hi,

No they were a family just doing some shopping at Khon Jiam...at the junction of the Mun and Mekong rivers.They didn't know me and just stopped for a bit of banter and a smile.

There is a great thread going at the moment about a daily diary in Isaan-very genuine stuff.

 

nice photo.   i like photos that are natural , just like I prefer natural women.    

that photo brings back some memories !

[rumak]

10 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

Some are simply born with a great attitude. But, I think most who have one, learn to have a great attitude. It is not a hard thing to learn. Practicing it is harder, but entirely possible. The mind is an incredibly docile and cooperative instrument, if used properly. I believe the mind will believe nearly anything you tell it to believe. So, why not believe the cup is half full? 

my (humorous?) take on  mind over matter.............

 

Dentist :  do you feel any pain ?

Me: YES 

Dentist:  should I give you some novacaine ?

Me:  would you mind if i kick you in the shin every time i feel pain ?

Edited November 29, 2019 by rumak

[sirineou]

24 minutes ago, rumak said:

my (humorous?) take on  mind over matter.............

 

Dentist :  do you feel any pain ?

Me: YES 

Dentist:  should I give you some novacaine ?

Me:  would you mind if i kick you in the shin every time i feel pain ?

to which the dentist asked:

Does it matter if I mind?

[rumak]

7 hours ago, sirineou said:

to which the dentist asked:

Does it matter if I mind?

     i'm behind you all the way !   

[Nemises]

If you call being healthy, financially secure and waking up every morning with a different, little Thai cutie next to you in bed, then yeah, I’m happy ????  

[MH123]

I had this conservation with my mother years ago. I said "I don't think I have ever been happy." She said "I don't think you have either." I do believe it is a chemical imbalance in the brain caused by the trauma we experience while growing up. Growing up in poverty, alolchic parents, physical injuries, the list is long. I seem to always have a low grade depression. I have tried some meds but I would rather feel depressed other than nothing. I operate the best when I keep up the gym, bicycle, skiing, anything physical. All my life I have had money worries. During the times when I was flush with money I did feel much better. Not that money is a cure all but it sure makes it easier. A couple of quotes I like. 

“There are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before.”

 Willa Cather, O Pioneers!

“The Bushmen in the Kalahari Desert talk about the two "hungers". There is the Great Hunger and there is the Little Hunger. The Little Hunger wants food for the belly; but the Great Hunger, the greatest hunger of all, is the hunger for meaning...
There is ultimately only one thing that makes human beings deeply and profoundly bitter, and that is to have thrust upon them a life without meaning.
There is nothing wrong in searching for happiness. But of far more comfort to the soul is something greater than happiness or unhappiness, and that is meaning. Because meaning transfigures all. Once what you are doing has for you meaning, it is irrelevant whether you're happy or unhappy. You are content - you are not alone in your Spirit - you belong.”

Laurens van der Post

[thaibeachlovers]

4 hours ago, Nemises said:

If you call being healthy, financially secure and waking up every morning with a different, little Thai cutie next to you in bed, then yeah, I’m happy ????  

That's what I call living the dream, except if I found a great little cutie I tried to keep them a while.

I had a BG girlfriend for 8 years till she married some rich guy.

I felt comfortable with her as she knew what I wanted when we travelled around LOS. I didn't have to explain everything to a different girl every time I came on holiday, but that changed after her. I could tell some tales about BGs, but not on here.

What made me really happy, was waking up next to a really cute girl in a hut next to the beach and knowing that that day was going to be as good as it gets.

 

So yes, I have been really happy, but only for little bits of my life. To be a happy person, I'd have had to have had a better life. I went nursing as I wanted to give back something to society, but all I got was bullies, and being treated bady. If people knew what nursing was really like they'd be horrified.

So, you ask, why did I not do something else? The good thing about nursing is that it's transferrable globally, and I got paid to travel the world, which was worth a bit of aggro at work. I kept the holidays as an incentive to get through each day. Not that every day was bad, some were OK. I just never had a day at work when I was "happy". I worked to be happy when I wasn't working, and that was enough, I guess.

In any event, it got so bad I had a nervous breakdown, and retired early. I then moved to LOS, and that made me happy, at least till my marriage went south.

 

I know, I know, happiness comes from within, and that's true to a certain extent, but when you've been told your whole life that you are worthless by bad people, it's hard to find that happiness within. I'm just grateful that I did have some genuinely happy times along the way. Not going into them on here as would take too much time and space, and to be honest, others probably wouldn't get why they made me happy anyway.

I'll give you couple of examples though. Doing a jungle survival course in Johor- we had to survive off the land, so we were all really hungry, dirty as hadn't had a wash for days, sick of eating nibong. However, I was really happy. Loved the jungle, sleeping in a basha with a fire in front every night, comradery of the guys on the course, working together to get through the day even though we were starving. The troubles of the world were irrelevant, and all there was was the jungle and us, together.

Antarctica. Driving a dog team across the snow just like Amundsen or Shackleton decades before. That was really great, and that made me happy, even though it was really really cold.

 

I guess to know that we are not happy, we have to have been happy to compare, so the question is- is it better to have been happy a few times or just "OK" an entire life? Many people IMO never know real happiness. They are born, go to school, get a job, get married, have children, get divorced, die. Never experienced real joy along the way. IMO, to experience real joy, one has to put everything on the line, and many never ever go in harms way. It's like old soldiers that miss the war. They don't miss the killing and terror, but they do miss the comradery that they never found in civvy street.

 

Think that's enough for one post.

[thaibeachlovers]

What occurs to me Is that there are a lot of really unhappy people in the world, given the amount of drugs they use. Happy people don't need to use drugs, happy people don't need to drink themselves in oblivion every day. I've never smoked tobacco, so I don't know why people smoke it. I've asked them, but they never tell me why. Does that make them happy?

[StreetCowboy]

Everybody's happy nowadays

[sirineou]

Just now, StreetCowboy said:

Everybody's happy nowadays

I am not happy, Not happy at all

I made a nice sandwich, the telephone rung, I went to answer,  and the dog ate my sandwich.

Mangy mutt I hope he gets scurvy  (do dogs get scurvy?)cause i hope they do.

[StreetCowboy]

2 minutes ago, sirineou said:

I am not happy, Not happy at all

I made a nice sandwich, the telephone rung, I went to answer,  and the dog ate my sandwich.

Mangy mutt I hope he gets scurvy  (do dogs get scurvy?)cause i hope they do.

I don't think you can get scurvy from eating someone else's sandwich; not unless it's a really big sandwich.

 

Who was on the phone?

[Mitkof Island]

YES!

[tifino]

 

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