Thai Land Vs Building On It

[Steve Ireland]

My thai boyfriend wants "us" to buy land for his grandparents. Now, we are not talking big money, about 1,000 Euro for 1 Rai (Which I am told is 800 sq metres). While I want to make my partner happy, my understanding is that only Thai's can own land but that Farang can own the property built on it, if registered the right way. Is this true? How common is it for "certain thais" to hook a farang, get land and abandon ship?

I am loved up but have a cynical soul and have a firm life ethos of "Love many & trust no-one". That said, I don't have a major concern at losing a grand. We are together almost a year, I have been to Thailand 3 times, each for a month, and move finally on Dec 28th (not to be with him, but to lead a less materialistic life with a better cost of living than home and more sun etc etc. after another month in November to finalise house, bike etc. Perhaps I am being too untrusting etc but my head begs me to ask the question "Am I a target"? Any advice appreciated. I will, of course, engage the services of a professional agency to check the bona fida of said individual prior to arrival to ascertain whether I move to a house alone or with t'other half. (By the way, not sure of the relevance but we speak on msn with cam daily for the year or so thus far)

Stevie (Ireland)

[jdinasia]

would you spend that kind of $$ on a guy you had only spent 3 months with in Ireland? If the answer is yes .... well ... then do whatever you want if it is NOT yes ... why would you do that here?

[Boon Mee]

^^

As someone once said: "Trust but verify"

[backflip]

Why should you buy land for his grandparents? If it's so important, let him do it.

[dumspero]

Not sure any reader has enough information to give sound advice, but since you've asked, I'd recommend waiting until you're settled in. Then if you still feel like helping his family in some way, you could do it then.

But remember that an issue most of us have struggled with over the years is how much to give, for what and how often. Those who don't struggle with this, in my experience, tend to be so rich it doesn't matter, they have a spouse or partner whose family doesn't need any assistance, or else they're sociopaths who don't give a ###### about living high while their partner's family has comparatively nothing. Then the rest of us and our spouses/significant others wrestle with this.

[Heng]

My thai boyfriend wants "us" to buy land for his grandparents. Now, we are not talking big money, about 1,000 Euro for 1 Rai (Which I am told is 800 sq metres). While I want to make my partner happy, my understanding is that only Thai's can own land but that Farang can own the property built on it, if registered the right way. Is this true? How common is it for "certain thais" to hook a farang, get land and abandon ship?

1600 square meters actually. Yes, you can separate ownership between land and house. Many people mistakenly believe though that it puts the two parties on equal terms. It doesn't. The land owner has a lot more weight over the future of the property. You're not going to want to actually live in the house if things go sour. You don't have any say whether the property owner wants to build two meter high walls, install razor wire fences, or ditches filled with alligators around your house on his/her property. You do have a legal right to petition to be allowed a path off your property (this is common in instances where people own "blind" property surrounded by the property of others)... I think the standard allowed is a 1 meter wide path. One of the forum's legal eagles might have more specific detail of this.

This situation is more "appropriately" applied when there is leased land where the building owner doesn't want the structure -often prefab or at least engineered to be able to be moved- to automatically revert to the land owner when the lease expires (that is standard in most common leases by the way). When things go south, the engineers come on in and take it apart and move your house/building/warehouse out of there.

[The Professor]

Why should you buy land for his grandparents? If it's so important, let him do it.

rofl, it is what he's trying to do

OP, it's only 1000 euro for christ sakes. doesnt he do nice things for you? for him it's a big deal, the 1000, for you it's nothing so just hand it over

[Vit77]

My thai boyfriend wants "us" to buy land for his grandparents. Now, we are not talking big money, about 1,000 Euro for 1 Rai (Which I am told is 800 sq metres). While I want to make my partner happy, my understanding is that only Thai's can own land but that Farang can own the property built on it, if registered the right way. Is this true? How common is it for "certain thais" to hook a farang, get land and abandon ship?

I am loved up but have a cynical soul and have a firm life ethos of "Love many & trust no-one". That said, I don't have a major concern at losing a grand. We are together almost a year, I have been to Thailand 3 times, each for a month, and move finally on Dec 28th (not to be with him, but to lead a less materialistic life with a better cost of living than home and more sun etc etc. after another month in November to finalise house, bike etc. Perhaps I am being too untrusting etc but my head begs me to ask the question "Am I a target"? Any advice appreciated. I will, of course, engage the services of a professional agency to check the bona fida of said individual prior to arrival to ascertain whether I move to a house alone or with t'other half. (By the way, not sure of the relevance but we speak on msn with cam daily for the year or so thus far)

Stevie (Ireland)

All people I know in Thailand who stay here longer than 10 years had "adventures" with thai bf/gf/wives/husbands. If everything goes smooth and everybody is happy you are in paradise.. if Thai is unhappy has no problem with taking everything from you - house, money (if kept in Thai account), all. One my friend lost 2 houses by this way, another only 1 house.. and even one my friend (girl) had thai husband - lost all she had either So be sure you will not cry after losing everything or be sure your bf is always happy.

[tijnebijn]

I am sorry to say but,I think this guy smells........A one rai for apprx 45k is not possible,only if the groundpapers are second or third degree,means it is still not fully owned buy the buyer.But after e few years the proberly will.

So why want to built a house and spending more money again after knowing this guy so short?I know many examples for just getting money from a st..id farang just handing out money,asking for relation problems here,just not talk about money with a thai,until you are sure he is the one.You just lie,i learned that from them and say not to have money available.You proberly told him allready all your in and outs......Anyway check it out first and try to change the subject,it is just not available and look what way he will react.After getting more sure just come to thailand and look what happens.If you are not financially very secure you should keep your money cause the visa changes all the time you will need to travel a lot unless you can stay on retirement.Things are still oke but with different rules and maybe ever changing ones.No I will stick if i were you just to come to LOS and look what happens when you stay here longer,if they like you for the money only and you do not mind allright but I think that is living a dream in a dream,it is called maya or illusion,fare enough.Goodluck i wish you the best.

[Steve Ireland]

Thanks Guys, I think he is genuine but I have a suspicious nature (mostly a good thing but has its drawbacks)

I have met his family (of which there are many and spent a week with them in Udon) and they seem genuine. His English is not very good so unlikely to have had huge contact with Farang:) I paid for english lessons (directly to the tutor) last year and his english is better now but still a ways to go. He was working in a gay bar (not go go) and gave that up and now works in a restaurant because he says he does not want me to worry that he is with other ppl. My heart says YAY but I will retain some scepticism (self preservation and I have read and heard many horror stories)

The 45000BHT is not a a major concern for me, I can put that off until I come. I suppose my real question is "How do ya know?" Are there tricks or tips that work for you both in ascertaining fidelity and bona fida?

Cheers,

Steve (Ireland)

[Neeranam]

Bar-girls or bar-boys 95% + of the time don't make good long-term partners.

Ifn the bar was in Pattaya - forget it.

If the money is nothing for you, give it.

The money will be a hel_l of a lot for him, probably. Maybe that why he chose you?

[Steve Ireland]

Bar-girls or bar-boys 95% + of the time don't make good long-term partners.

Ifn the bar was in Pattaya - forget it.

If the money is nothing for you, give it.

The money will be a hel_l of a lot for him, probably. Maybe that why he chose you?

YES - Pattaya. He didn't choose me, I chose him. We speak for 2 hours min. every day on MSN and I can see his face (reactions etc.). This has been going on for almost a year. Is it common for any Thai Bar boy/girl to put in that much time, introduce you to their family AND change their job? Internet Cafe's are not very cheap, are they?

I am open to all opinions - only then can you form any kind of consensus. - By the way, he is 27 this month, not 19:)

Cheers,

Steve

[think_too_mut]

Squarely you are the target.

Where have his grandparents been all these years? Hanging off the trees, waiting on you to appear and buy them some land so they finally have the ground to stand on?

I don't know whou would not find it insulting if their boy/girfriend asked "Let's buy some land for my grandparents, you pay".

Engaging professionals for 1000EU deal? Would you engage them when buying a second hand car worth that much? If you can swallow what I called an insult and can afford 1K E, just give him and leave it there.

[terry57]

why dont you get a new boyfriend and spend the money on a top holiday.

[bkkmadness]

Bar-girls or bar-boys 95% + of the time don't make good long-term partners.

Ifn the bar was in Pattaya - forget it.

If the money is nothing for you, give it.

The money will be a hel_l of a lot for him, probably. Maybe that why he chose you?

YES - Pattaya. He didn't choose me, I chose him. We speak for 2 hours min. every day on MSN and I can see his face (reactions etc.). This has been going on for almost a year. Is it common for any Thai Bar boy/girl to put in that much time, introduce you to their family AND change their job? Internet Cafe's are not very cheap, are they?

Yes they are cheap (20/baht an hour), yes it is usual for them to put that much time in as they can make a lot of cash with those daily msn conversations building trust (this guys getting some land for starters isn't he?) and yes it is common for them to change their job if it pleases their sponsor abroad, a restaurant is a good choice because it's just as easy to pick up customers there whilst keeping the image of a 'good worker' who doesn't come from the bars.

Tell him you are not going to pay, see how he reacts. In fact don't pay for the land or send any cash, see if he's still with you next year.

He's 27 how old are you?

[scousemouse]

My thai boyfriend wants "us" to buy land for his grandparents. Now, we are not talking big money, about 1,000 Euro for 1 Rai (Which I am told is 800 sq metres). While I want to make my partner happy, my understanding is that only Thai's can own land but that Farang can own the property built on it, if registered the right way. Is this true? How common is it for "certain thais" to hook a farang, get land and abandon ship?

I am loved up but have a cynical soul and have a firm life ethos of "Love many & trust no-one". That said, I don't have a major concern at losing a grand. We are together almost a year, I have been to Thailand 3 times, each for a month, and move finally on Dec 28th (not to be with him, but to lead a less materialistic life with a better cost of living than home and more sun etc etc. after another month in November to finalise house, bike etc. Perhaps I am being too untrusting etc but my head begs me to ask the question "Am I a target"? Any advice appreciated. I will, of course, engage the services of a professional agency to check the bona fida of said individual prior to arrival to ascertain whether I move to a house alone or with t'other half. (By the way, not sure of the relevance but we speak on msn with cam daily for the year or so thus far)

Stevie (Ireland)

just hang on a second charles , ask him to wait a year or two for whatever reason and see what his reaction is like.

[Heng]

Is it common for any Thai Bar boy/girl to put in that much time, introduce you to their family AND change their job? Internet Cafe's are not very cheap, are they?

Net cafe's are 60 Baht an hour. If they are on Walking Street or Soi BJ, heck, they might be using one of my friend's shops.

Compare the upside involved when compared to the cost of doing business -both financial and timewise-. Myself I only make about 12-15% ROI in my wholesale businesses. If I had to make a rough estimate, IMO these bar girls and boys -those that manage to harpoon whales anyway- do about 10 to 100+ times that % wise (medium term anyway, until most -not all of course- of them are broke again).

[peter991]

Interesting topic you have raised, Steve. I am in a similar situation - been with my Thai BF for 2.5 years now. Met his family, who live in Issan (about half way between Khon Kaen and Udon Thani). BF wanted a house for both us. We built a nice home on land donated by his parents, at the back of their home.

It was only recently when he wanted to apply for a Tourist Visa to visit Australia for 3 months that the full details came out.

He went with his parents to the Amphur to get the land that our house is on put in HIS name, so he could say that he owned property (house and land) and thus have a reason to return to Thailand when his Visa expired.

It turns out his parents do not own the land that both houses are on. Most of the village of 200 people is built on land donated by the King about 30 years ago. The villagers can never own their land - nor can they sell it. The land and houses are passed down the family. So, apparently no villager can own their own home.

Peter

[MTW]

I would ignore the people who say, "if it isn't big money for you just give it to him." The first problem it that the requests will never stop and your investment in this person is likely to become quite large after some time and especially after you live here.

You will be wanting to take him on vacations, then he won't have appropriate clothes, so you will buy that. Maybe he will need a car to drive you around in. He will have friends he wants you to meet and pay for everytime you go out. Then it will be money to build the house on the land you bought. Then it will be something for their medical bills. Then he will want to start a business and you will pay for it. Then there will be more land for other relatives, and it never stops.

Then you can be 100% sure that when you don't have any money, they will say "we would love to help you but dont' have any money, sorry. Even if you just forgot your wallet and can't pay for a beer one night.

Please live here first for a while. Many thai people see us as a job and an investment. Of course he can spend 2 hours a day on the internet, this might be better than winning the biggest lottery here after a few years with you have paid out. And it only cost him some time, the one thing he has plenty of.

[Shah Jahan]

Buying land for your Thai boyfriend is about equivalent to placing an envelope filled with money on a small bonfire.

If you do decide to do it, better to think of it as a donation/payment for his services and that you have no attachment to the land. Anything else would just be trying to put out a fire by throwing gasoline on it.

[aussiestyle1983]

I would ignore the people who say, "if it isn't big money for you just give it to him." The first problem it that the requests will never stop and your investment in this person is likely to become quite large after some time and especially after you live here.

Buying land for your Thai boyfriend is about equivalent to placing an envelope filled with money on a small bonfire.

Both of the above comments are true.

Once you start to give, you must continue to give, and what you will be required to give will always cost more.

As for the land, if you pay for it, write it off, even if you manage to get a house on it in your name, if they want to get you off the land they will be able to make life for you so un-barable for you that you will just leave. Anyway, land for 45k must be shit and you proably wouldn't want to live there anyway.

As others have said, the price sounds to cheap, especially for it to be bought outright. Seems like you BF is being ripped of by buying land from someone who is not the owner, which happens here or your BF is quite smart and has tried to get you to send him 45K for a very good reason/ deal, which he knows isn't alot to you, but its alot to him. After he gets the money you will no longer see him in your bed or on MSN. Just some possible ideas.

You need to work out what to do, just ask yourself how much you trust him?

[chanchao]

Maybe next time you'll get too meet his sister too, and her kids.

Honestly, what's the rush?

[terry57]

Bar-girls or bar-boys 95% + of the time don't make good long-term partners.

Ifn the bar was in Pattaya - forget it.

If the money is nothing for you, give it.

The money will be a hel_l of a lot for him, probably. Maybe that why he chose you?

YES - Pattaya. He didn't choose me, I chose him. We speak for 2 hours min. every day on MSN and I can see his face (reactions etc.). This has been going on for almost a year. Is it common for any Thai Bar boy/girl to put in that much time, introduce you to their family AND change their job? Internet Cafe's are not very cheap, are they?

Yes they are cheap (20/baht an hour), yes it is usual for them to put that much time in as they can make a lot of cash with those daily msn conversations building trust (this guys getting some land for starters isn't he?) and yes it is common for them to change their job if it pleases their sponsor abroad, a restaurant is a good choice because it's just as easy to pick up customers there whilst keeping the image of a 'good worker' who doesn't come from the bars.

Tell him you are not going to pay, see how he reacts. In fact don't pay for the land or send any cash, see if he's still with you next year.

He's 27 how old are you?

there you go steveo,

maddy is right on the money and the big test is to tell him you cant access the money.

you will know for sure if he wants to be with you.

dont want to be a party pooper mate, but i'll bet you a cartoon of chang that he does a bolt.

thank you very much.

[PeaceBlondie]

Price at a top internet cafe in Chiang Mai, air/con and so forth, top tourist location, is 18 baht per hour for farang with the free discount card. In other places, probably cheaper. As Heng said, the bar workers get a great return on their investment.

His grandparents were children when Patience and Prudence sang their theme song: "I got along without you before I met you; gonna' get along without you now." If their extended Thai family hasn't provided for them up until now, I doubt they were depending on their mature grandson's foreign boyfriend to buy them a house. In other words, it's not expected.

A former bar worker is not necessarily going to take you for everything you're willing to give them. Most former bar workers, probably so. And the young man at the gay bar back in Ireland would probably take what you're willing to give him, as well. I hadn't been in a gay bar in southern Mexico for 30 minutes before one of the katoey waiters asked if I'd be interested in taking him home to live forever.

[Steve Ireland]

Bar-girls or bar-boys 95% + of the time don't make good long-term partners.

Ifn the bar was in Pattaya - forget it.

If the money is nothing for you, give it.

The money will be a hel_l of a lot for him, probably. Maybe that why he chose you?

YES - Pattaya. He didn't choose me, I chose him. We speak for 2 hours min. every day on MSN and I can see his face (reactions etc.). This has been going on for almost a year. Is it common for any Thai Bar boy/girl to put in that much time, introduce you to their family AND change their job? Internet Cafe's are not very cheap, are they?

Yes they are cheap (20/baht an hour), yes it is usual for them to put that much time in as they can make a lot of cash with those daily msn conversations building trust (this guys getting some land for starters isn't he?) and yes it is common for them to change their job if it pleases their sponsor abroad, a restaurant is a good choice because it's just as easy to pick up customers there whilst keeping the image of a 'good worker' who doesn't come from the bars.

Tell him you are not going to pay, see how he reacts. In fact don't pay for the land or send any cash, see if he's still with you next year.

He's 27 how old are you?

I'm 35

[goldenmile]

steve is a kind of weird name for a girl isnt it?

mind you i suppose there is stevie nicks

[PaulUSA302]

Do it together..... Find a way to support him in earning the money or half of it to help buy the land. I would worry that this request if him putting his toe in the water to find just how giving you will be.

But if your questioning it than I suspect that your still only getting to know him and your 1000 euro gift will be one heck of a start for the requests of money that will come your way...

[bkkmadness]

steve is a kind of weird name for a girl isnt it?

mind you i suppose there is stevie nicks

It is, but I guess the OP is a man.

[Boon Mee]

I hadn't been in a gay bar in southern Mexico for 30 minutes before one of the katoey waiters asked if I'd be interested in taking him home to live forever.

Wish I had that kind of luck with the serioritas in Oaxaca.

Was it the size of your wallet or...

[goldenmile]

steve is a kind of weird name for a girl isnt it?

mind you i suppose there is stevie nicks

It is, but I guess the OP is a man.

a man with a boyfriend?

my goodness. i mean i have seen that kind of thing on Eastenders but I didnt realise it happened in real life