kissing

[Kwasaki]

21 hours ago, habuspasha said:

How? Or do you just accept it?

Marry her.

[Matzzon]

21 hours ago, habuspasha said:

Have others experienced anything like this?

I would think you are kinda unique in this genre. ????

Sound to me that you won the lottery with your choice in life. The worst thing is that you keep on living with it. ????

[katana]

Traditionally Thais tend to HAWM or do the sniff kiss where they touch your cheek with their lips and give a little sniff rather than the Western kiss with tongues.

Although there are some that are open to the Western kiss - there are no hard and fast rules.

[habuspasha]

1 hour ago, katana said:

Traditionally Thais tend to HAWM or do the sniff kiss where they touch your cheek with their lips and give a little sniff rather than the Western kiss with tongues.

Although there are some that are open to the Western kiss - there are no hard and fast rules.

Thank you, Katana.  I didn't know this.  It is the kind of information I was looking for.  Not only because it makes me feel more secure, but because it is what she seems to want.  I would also like a more culturally sensitive understanding of foreplay, cuddling, hugging, and other sorts of physical intimacy short of sex.  Sex is not the problem.  It is straight forward: actually too straight forward by Western romantic-love standards.  And I would expect BGs to be well versed in romance imitation, but I want more from the GF who really cares for me.  Not enough to look elsewhere, as some of you advised, and I would marry her if I could.  I am trying to better understand her expectations of love more deeply than she can tell me in order to contextualize my own and lessen the difference between us.

[AlexRRR]

On 2/5/2020 at 5:12 AM, habuspasha said:

Thank you, Katana.  I didn't know this.  It is the kind of information I was looking for.  Not only because it makes me feel more secure, but because it is what she seems to want.  I would also like a more culturally sensitive understanding of foreplay, cuddling, hugging, and other sorts of physical intimacy short of sex.  Sex is not the problem.  It is straight forward: actually too straight forward by Western romantic-love standards.  And I would expect BGs to be well versed in romance imitation, but I want more from the GF who really cares for me.  Not enough to look elsewhere, as some of you advised, and I would marry her if I could.  I am trying to better understand her expectations of love more deeply than she can tell me in order to contextualize my own and lessen the difference between us.

Its better you begin to understand yourself fella....im pretty sure in not to distant a future you will begin to realise that your unable to go on with the lack of forplay, it will begin to eat into you eventually, I did experience an Aussie woman for a couple of years and her very basic love making. 

 

 Only one Thai woman I have met that didnt or hadnt mouth kissed before, never known a Thai female to lack intimacy when alone or not desire forplay, sounds like shes not that into you, what your getting "wont" get any better the longer you stay with her the chances she will shut up shop get stronger bail out while the going is good humans place way to much emphasis on the feeling of love when everything else sucks.....

[Dumbastheycome]

On 2/3/2020 at 11:02 PM, tifino said:

anyhow, the worst reaction to her game... is fighting it. 

 

It has been put into her head. 

When it suddenly happened to me... I had to walk my memory back to try to recall the trigger.

And then it popped out the head - I had (5 years earlier, described to her about my past Ex (btw... never tell thai mrs about your ex problems) any way... about my Ex who had out of the blue feigned embarrassment about 'affection'. In that case I'd found it was that there was a BF in the village, who she was scared to find she had 'me' too.  

Rolling forward, I made the mistake of recounting this to current thai mrs.

She remembers everything downloaded, and puts it away until ready to 'replay' it back on me.

The no kissing, no affection, no 'hello' in the morning kiss, the no goodnight kiss etc etc

 

bottom line - do not take it personally... it has nothing to do with 'you'  

 

you could go back thru your own memory...

  the times when she goes on with the " some girl she say, some girl she say..."

  - mostly about what another cow in the herd had learnt, from yet another cow.

 

her restrictions will increase... sometimes like a lightning bolt

 

 

but it is nothing you have actually done To Her

 

 

There's a lot more, but I think you get the jest?

Gist  or  jest? I just  need some directions.

 

[Dumbastheycome]

But I have  found that  Asian women are  not passionate lip kissers generally.

[Donutz]

People are all different, maybe she just doesn't like certain things. Does she show intimacy in other ways? A  sniff kiss (หอมแก้ม, hom kaem) perhaps? She simply might dislike kissing, or she could have had bad experiences or memories. I would only start worrying if she doesn't show any intimacy or passion at all. That should trigger an alarm.  Try telling her what you like and dislike in a relationship or when it comes to kissing, sex and so on. Ask her what she is and isn't into. You may get to understand each other better. 

 

It certainly isn't 'a Thai thing', that's labeling a whole group of people as if they are all the same. Or if they are unable to try new things. I myself was unfamiliar with the sniff kiss at first. But I really liked it. Me and my love would share sniff kisses, kisses and the cheek, mouth and tongue play. I must say a quick sniff is just as good as a quick kiss on the cheek, if not better. And when you look in each other's eyes when you do so, that should tell quite clearly if there truly is a spark between the two of you or not. I fondly remember my love giving me a sniff kiss and telling me (in Thai) how much she loves me and how happy it made her. Which such things an exchange of saliva would add nothing.

[Isaanbiker]

On 2/3/2020 at 11:31 PM, FritsSikkink said:

"Have others experienced anything like this? "

No, she has a problem. 

And I thought that he'd have a problem. I've had quite a view Thai ladies and my wife of 18 years loves kissing.

 

   IMHO, a girl that doesn't want to be kissed, doesn't really like you for a particular reason. 

 

It's not normal when your wife doesn't want to be kissed, it's normal in Thai society when two love each other.

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 2/4/2020 at 5:31 AM, FritsSikkink said:

"Have others experienced anything like this? "

No, she has a problem. 

It's not her problem, it's his.

Most of the BGs I went with kissed, and some didn't.

My wife did, and then she didn't ( and then she got divorced ).

I'd never start a serious relationship with a woman that didn't kiss- it's the most enjoyable part of a romantic relationship, IMO.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 2/9/2020 at 4:40 AM, Dumbastheycome said:

But I have  found that  Asian women are  not passionate lip kissers generally.

Only the ones you kissed. Plenty are.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 2/5/2020 at 11:12 AM, habuspasha said:

I would also like a more culturally sensitive understanding of foreplay, cuddling, hugging, and other sorts of physical intimacy short of sex. 

LOL. Any woman will be intimate short of sex regardless of ethnicity. If they aren't, it's because they aren't passionate or they are just not into you.

[SteveK]

The first Thai girl I met many moons ago (and she was not a BG, BTW), used to love kissing and sticking her tongue in my mouth every chance she could get. After her, I found that many Thai ladies are actually quite conservative about kissing, my wife in particular demands a kiss every day when she goes to work and before she goes to sleep, but it's nothing more than a peck on the lips. I guess this comes down to something not seen regularly on this forum - individual people are very different and you can't categorise a whole nation on the basis of your experiences.

Edited February 12, 2020 by SteveK

[Dumbastheycome]

3 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Only the ones you kissed. Plenty are.

 ! 555

"Plenty" has never been an ingredient of my experience so I will  concede to yours .

 

[BritManToo]

On 2/5/2020 at 5:12 AM, habuspasha said:

but I want more from the GF who really cares for me.

You're living in a dream.

She doesn't care for you any more than the bar girl.

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, SteveK said:

individual people are very different and you can't categorise a whole nation on the basis of your experiences.

Thai people are trained from birth not to be different.

But every foreign guy seems to think he's found one that is different.

[UbonThani]

On 2/9/2020 at 11:44 PM, Isaanbiker said:

And I thought that he'd have a problem. I've had quite a view Thai ladies and my wife of 18 years loves kissing.

 

   IMHO, a girl that doesn't want to be kissed, doesn't really like you for a particular reason. 

 

It's not normal when your wife doesn't want to be kissed, it's normal in Thai society when two love each other.

 

 

Wrong. Some just dont like it. Yours is just desperate.

 

Kissing beaver is far better.

[UbonThani]

On 2/9/2020 at 11:32 PM, Donutz said:

People are all different, maybe she just doesn't like certain things. Does she show intimacy in other ways? A  sniff kiss (หอมแก้ม, hom kaem) perhaps? She simply might dislike kissing, or she could have had bad experiences or memories. I would only start worrying if she doesn't show any intimacy or passion at all. That should trigger an alarm.  Try telling her what you like and dislike in a relationship or when it comes to kissing, sex and so on. Ask her what she is and isn't into. You may get to understand each other better. 

 

It certainly isn't 'a Thai thing', that's labeling a whole group of people as if they are all the same. Or if they are unable to try new things. I myself was unfamiliar with the sniff kiss at first. But I really liked it. Me and my love would share sniff kisses, kisses and the cheek, mouth and tongue play. I must say a quick sniff is just as good as a quick kiss on the cheek, if not better. And when you look in each other's eyes when you do so, that should tell quite clearly if there truly is a spark between the two of you or not. I fondly remember my love giving me a sniff kiss and telling me (in Thai) how much she loves me and how happy it made her. Which such things an exchange of saliva would add nothing.

Sniff kiss? Sounds dodgy. Dogs sniff each other.

[BritManToo]

4 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

It's not her problem, it's his.

Most of the BGs I went with kissed, and some didn't.

My wife did, and then she didn't ( and then she got divorced ).

I'd never start a serious relationship with a woman that didn't kiss- it's the most enjoyable part of a romantic relationship, IMO.

I've always preferred feeling their tits.

I've never been that keen sticking my tongue (anywhere) in them. 

[UbonThani]

After someone just ate prawns with fish sauce why would you want to kiss them? Kissing all the time shows insecurity.

[Dumbastheycome]

I doubt there is any actual "norm" for what individual couples would consider "intimacy" especially in terms  of kissing on the lips. Culturally prescribed conformity in greater Asia for public displays are/have often been seen by  western perceptions as very restrictive. Even holding hands in public is/has been acceptable  only for same gender without any romantic/sexual connotations in Asian cultures. Intimacy reserved for privacy.

That has  now been distorted and destroyed by the influence of  many forms of social media.

Having  spent many years in one part of  SEA where in normal social greeting from a  male to a female friend (not partner) was  a peck on  each cheek but then to apply same when I came to Thailand discovered it provoked a very confusing and confused reaction! It seemed only a very brief hug was tolerable but a "wai" preferable !

Over time I learned the significance of the "sniff kiss". I privately  think of it as the "pheromone  kiss" ! lol

In my experience gob slopping deep throat kissing is not a cultural norm which I actually do not mind at all.

Aspects of private intimacy? Not related.

 

 

[KC 71]

22 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I've always preferred feeling their tits.

I've never been that keen sticking my tongue (anywhere) in them. 

 who said romance was dead

[wabothai]

I think, Pasha, you not ''hansum' enough.

[habuspasha]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Thai people are trained from birth not to be different.

But every foreign guy seems to think he's found one that is different.

Everyone is different in some ways and similar in some ways.  This thread has clearly established a particularly Thai kind of kissing (sniffing) and a possible Thai aversion to Western kissing.  That doesn't mean all Thais, but a cultural tradition that affects Thais more than say Europeans.  When my GF says she just doesn't like it, I would be stupid to overlook this cultural difference.  I would also lose an opportunity to know her better if I just rejected her because she wants something else.  Because I think most people are similar in wanting personal contact, intimacy, affection, even love--the reality, not just the play-acting (though that can be satisfying too).  The point is to find out how to get there.  

[FritsSikkink]

On ‎2‎/‎4‎/‎2020 at 2:06 AM, Liverpudlian said:

I reckon its a cultural thing here , ie back in the west theres usualy i peck on the cheek whilst off to work etc  but here its never seen, hot country cold as ice ey !

Try a girl who loves you.

 

[FritsSikkink]

On ‎2‎/‎4‎/‎2020 at 7:35 AM, habuspasha said:

Regarding trolling, I assume that means baiting members to say something they might not normally say?  Why would I do that?  I don’t know anyone here, and I’m only interested in finding out how unique my experience is.  Regarding sex, I’m satisfied.  It’s the extras I desire more of.  And I have no reason to believe that her fervor is waning or that she is only in it for the money.  I think this is specifically about kissing, foreplay and cuddling.  And I think it's a cultural difference.  Some of you seem to agree, no?

No, it is your relationship with her.

[FritsSikkink]

On ‎2‎/‎4‎/‎2020 at 10:21 AM, BritManToo said:

I can walk into almost any bar and get all that for the price of a couple of lady drinks.

If you want both without changing gfs, easy option is out to a bar for the 'warm up' then home to the gf to finish it all off.

You can't compare prostitutes with a normal girlfriend. 

[thaibeachlovers]

10 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I've always preferred feeling their tits.

I've never been that keen sticking my tongue (anywhere) in them. 

If I were a female, I'd never be a GF with a man that wouldn't stick his tongue in me, but then I wouldn't be having just any Dick and Harry using my body parts for their fun.

[thaibeachlovers]

7 hours ago, FritsSikkink said:

You can't compare prostitutes with a normal girlfriend. 

"Normal" girlfriends are overrated, if the ones I saw ordering their boyfriends around are anything to go by. In my experience once girlfriends think they are secure in the relationship they think they get to rule the roost. At least with prostitutes, they go away when the payments stop.

[thaibeachlovers]

7 hours ago, habuspasha said:

When my GF says she just doesn't like it, I would be stupid to overlook this cultural difference. 

Regardless of the reason, if you want kissing etc get a new GF. That one isn't going to change willingly. Be grateful she didn't pretend and then stop once she thought she was secure.