Foreigner helps support Thai Family

[chrisandsu]

I think the guys that continue to pony up are those that know deep in their hearts that if they didn’t do it there would be no Terrak . It’s a massive self esteem issue . Would you buy your in-laws a house and pay their bills in farang land ? I doubt most of these guys would even do it for their own mothers! 

[BritManToo]

17 hours ago, CrunchWrapSupreme said:

How long could you manage being friends with the guy who never pitches in

My pals and I all pay our own bills (but we don't have sex with each other).

 

Edited April 1, 2020 by BritManToo

[1FinickyOne]

35 minutes ago, chrisandsu said:

I think the guys that continue to pony up are those that know deep in their hearts that if they didn’t do it there would be no Terrak . It’s a massive self esteem issue . Would you buy your in-laws a house and pay their bills in farang land ? I doubt most of these guys would even do it for their own mothers! 

ridiculous.. we are just guys who are fortunate enough to have enough that we can share with people we like and respect...

[1FinickyOne]

41 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

That would be plain stupid as health care is free for Thai citizens.

sometimes private is better for certain things. We have had diagnostic work done at private hospitals for family and then the operations done at local free hospitals.. 

[chrisandsu]

1 hour ago, kenk24 said:

ridiculous.. we are just guys who are fortunate enough to have enough that we can share with people we like and respect...

I just wonder if you didn’t have enough would they like and respect you ? I’m not trying to <deleted> on your bonfire it’s just reality . If your an older gentleman with a younger gf/wife you HAVE to bring money to the table or she wouldn’t look at you twice . I don’t blame you or them for it it’s just the way it is . 

[baansgr]

2 hours ago, kenk24 said:

ridiculous.. we are just guys who are fortunate enough to have enough that we can share with people we like and respect...

But the respect very rarely goes both ways...in fact if I respected someone I wouldn't accept money from them...and I certainly wouldn't respect myself if I took any....it is what it is and if makes you happy fine thats up to you but reality is different.....

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, kenk24 said:

ridiculous.. we are just guys who are fortunate enough to have enough that we can share with people we like and respect...

I only have enough to share with the women in my bed.

You must be very wealthy if you can afford to give to everyone around you.

[jak2002003]

10 minutes ago, baansgr said:

But the respect very rarely goes both ways...in fact if I respected someone I wouldn't accept money from them...and I certainly wouldn't respect myself if I took any....it is what it is and if makes you happy fine thats up to you but reality is different.....

I will always help my real friends, but the relationship has to go both ways.  It's give and take and a balance on both sides, with neither side taking more than their share, otherwise its not a friendship and there is no respect there or care for you.  Even if they are really poor, they can help you still, like if you are ill and they cook or clean for you, or fix you motor bike, or do some DIY at your house for free (without you having to ask them to do it).  

 

I would never hand out money to people simply because they were relatives.  

 

Also, 'helping' people by giving them large sums of cash is often not really helping them.  Do something real for them, like run them to the hospital and wait with them, go with them to the police station if they are in trouble, look after their kids if they have to go to work.

[Nyezhov]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I only have enough to share with the women in my bed.

You must be very wealthy if you can afford to give to everyone around you.

Its easy if you pay for 5 minutes every other day with someone different.

[GalaxyMan]

On 3/31/2020 at 12:00 PM, chrisandsu said:

If you wouldn’t do it for your own family then you shouldn’t do it for others . 

Couldn't disagree more. I wouldn't give most of my family members piiss in a drought, yet I help people all the time.

Edited April 1, 2020 by GalaxyMan

[from the home of CC]

21 hours ago, CrunchWrapSupreme said:

It's like this anywhere in the world. Friends, family, all must keep up their end of the relationship. How long could you manage being friends with the guy who never pitches in, who's always broke whenever you go out? The buddy who moved in and is always short on the rent? What about the plenty of young ladies with deadbeat boyfriends, though they might be fathers of their children?

 

I've had these people in my own family who we had to cut loose. On their end they moaned and groaned, "Man, why you always gotta make this about money? Don't you care about me? What about all I've done for you, blah blah?" Meanwhile there's bills and rent, and they've been on the couch all afternoon. When you look at it this way, it's not just the money, but if the person really cares about those they're involved with.

 

To stay in this country, with our gracious hosts, we've gotta pitch in. But on the other hand, we must know where to draw the line. Yes, I'll buy some groceries for your parents. Yes, I'll pay their electric bill this time. But no, I can't get Uncle Bob a new motorbike, and you don't need an iPad. There's certainly a difference between doing your part, and getting taken for a ride.

'don't feed the bears' is a slogan applicable world wide, but in a poor country with low educational standards it obviously means more. Help or not help, up to you, but the last thing I'd do is come on TVF and blow my own horn about it expressing dismay that my altruism isn't being recognized and I'm not getting the immigration VIP treatment because of it..

[chrisandsu]

10 minutes ago, GalaxyMan said:

Couldn't disagree more. I wouldn't give most of my family members piiss in a drought, yet I help people all the time.

As britmantoo said ... they don’t share your bed .

[holy cow cm]

My wife closed her restaurant and paid the workers 1/2 wages for 3 weeks worth and will pay again in a couple more weeks. I can say no one else does this for the most part.. As for everything else, the amount of money we spend on groceries and give the kids to live everyday prior to the virus ballooning is quite enough that is spread around. If my wife's sister needs help to pay her mortgage I told my wife we will help, but only when they can't because her husband is a lazy and spends her money she makes at her shop on himself and should not have the luxury to drink everyday as he is bored and says works too much. So for him no, for the sister and their daughter yes as they are good, but because of him I will make him pay me 1/2 back. 

[1FinickyOne]

1 hour ago, baansgr said:

But the respect very rarely goes both ways...in fact if I respected someone I wouldn't accept money from them...and I certainly wouldn't respect myself if I took any....it is what it is and if makes you happy fine thats up to you but reality is different.....

I don't give in order to get respect but I do get plenty, thanks. And not just for giving money. I took the time and effort to learn the language and learn what is polite as to customs... I give to help out and yes, sometimes they will not accept unless I assure them it is well within reach for me... I don't give to charities with millionaire CEOs, I give to hard working family members who I feel deserve a better life... and will not <deleted> it away. 

[1FinickyOne]

58 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I only have enough to share with the women in my bed.

Women? Big bed then?

 

I don't help family financially in order to get laid... 

[Rimmer]

Troll post removed

[Yinn]

On 3/31/2020 at 1:35 PM, dayward1 said:

I think we all contribute to Thai society by spending our money here and frequenting their businesses.

 

 

When Thai people visit your country, you think “they all contribute to your society by spending their money there and frequenting your business” ?

[Leaver]

21 hours ago, holy cow cm said:

I will make him pay me 1/2 back. 

And how will you do that? 

[chrisandsu]

26 minutes ago, Yinn said:

When Thai people visit your country, you think “they all contribute to your society by spending their money there and frequenting your business” ?

When will a Thai person buy my mum/dad/sister/brother a house and put all their illegitimate kids through school ? Answers on a postcard .... 

[Leaver]

On 4/1/2020 at 1:16 PM, kenk24 said:

ridiculous.. we are just guys who are fortunate enough to have enough that we can share with people we like and respect...

Sure, but the question is, if you didn't "share" would they still be there?

[1FinickyOne]

2 minutes ago, Leaver said:

Sure, but the question is, if you didn't "share" would they still be there?

sorry for you, that is your question, not mine... I don't share because I want them to like me or hope they will... I quite consciously have shared because I LIKE THEM and want to make their life better... and yes, for most of us who help the family, it usually starts with our wife who feels a duty and caring for her family... I am fortunate that my wife has a wonderful family... 

 

I have heard it said... 

 

"A Thai lady cannot be happy drinking out of fine crystal while her mother drinks from a coconut shell." 

 

The truth is that sharing makes me feel better too... which is usually the case with most giving.. people give to large charities and share with total strangers... why do I have to take <deleted> here for sharing with people that i see and interact with every day?

[holy cow cm]

31 minutes ago, chrisandsu said:

When will a Thai person buy my mum/dad/sister/brother a house and put all their illegitimate kids through school ? Answers on a postcard .... 

Yes but when will most of our countries produce on the majority good looking fun girls? I can say for the USA most of the gals are unsightly and boring gold diggers.

[RJRS1301]

1 hour ago, Yinn said:

When Thai people visit your country, you think “they all contribute to your society by spending their money there and frequenting your business” ?

Every tourist (irresepctive of nationality)contributes to which ever country they choose to travel to.

So simple answer is yes

[holy cow cm]

39 minutes ago, Leaver said:

And how will you do that? 

Family pressure or make him leave. Either or is ok with me and most all of my Thai family do not like him.. No free ride for him.

[Leaver]

2 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

sorry for you, that is your question, not mine... I don't share because I want them to like me or hope they will... I quite consciously have shared because I LIKE THEM and want to make their life better... and yes, for most of us who help the family, it usually starts with our wife who feels a duty and caring for her family... I am fortunate that my wife has a wonderful family... 

 

I have heard it said... 

 

"A Thai lady cannot be happy drinking out of fine crystal while her mother drinks from a coconut shell." 

 

The truth is that sharing makes me feel better too... which is usually the case with most giving.. people give to large charities and share with total strangers... why do I have to take <deleted> here for sharing with people that i see and interact with every day?

No need to take it personally, ken24.

 

It's your money, to do as you please. 

 

The thing is, many people before you have been stung, so statistics are against you. 

 

You mentioned in a previous post you are fortunate to be able to give.  Many people have come to Thailand "fortunate" and gone home "less fortunate."  ????  Of course, initially, everyone of them viewed their partner as "different."  A common joke here, which I am sure you have heard.

 

I really don't see any starving Thai's in Thailand, so I do question if their "needs" are not really their "wants."  Big difference, particularly when you have seen extreme poverty with your own eyes, as I have.

 

It is true that we all allow emotions to cloud our financial judgement.  We've all heard the saying, "Never mix friendship and business."  It's also true that the most infamous con men in the world excelled in their criminality because of their art of persuasion.  Add sex to that, and one can be really on the hook here.

 

Relationships are a two way street, but for many relationships here, the finances are only flowing in one direction down the street, thus akin to a "sugar daddy" type western relationship, regardless of any age difference. 

 

I wish you well, ken24, as I do others.  My main advice to newbies here is to not burn your bridges back home, and don't give what you can't afford to lose. 

[Leaver]

3 minutes ago, holy cow cm said:

Family pressure or make him leave. Either or is ok with me and most all of my Thai family do not like him.. No free ride for him.

Have you considered your loan may cause a divorce, and children to grow up without a father?  Yes, I know no likes him, but still. 

 

Is it possible the way you give out your money is causing a rift in the family, or some inequality? 

[holy cow cm]

14 minutes ago, Leaver said:

Have you considered your loan may cause a divorce, and children to grow up without a father?  Yes, I know no likes him, but still. 

 

Is it possible the way you give out your money is causing a rift in the family, or some inequality? 

Not really. It would be he mans up or I don't loan. And ofcourse this all depends on if they cannot get through the virus shut down here. Everyone in the family says the same about him. All talk and complain and a bit self centered and selfish. My wife's sister pays the majority of the bills and takes care of the daughter. Everything they have is because of her but he likes to prance around like a little clumsy ballerina showing look what I have. They are in Bangkok by the way. In any course the family won't let them drop, but there will be things he and her both need to agree upon. Not giving money for free, only help.

[Leaver]

2 minutes ago, holy cow cm said:

Not really. It would be he mans up or I don't loan. And ofcourse this all depends on if they cannot get through the virus shut down here. Everyone in the family says the same about him. All talk and complain and a bit self centered and selfish. My wife's sister pays the majority of the bills and takes care of the daughter. Everything they have is because of her but he likes to prance around like a little clumsy ballerina showing look what I have. They are in Bangkok by the way. In any course the family won't let them drop, but there will be things he and her both need to agree upon. Not giving money for free, only help.

Well, when a Thai asks, "Can you help me?" It's always about money.  So, "help" is basically a donation, and if they ask for a "loan" it's usually accepted as a donation also.  ????

 

Seems to me, if you hand over the money, he will stay around longer, but then again, if he doesn't pay back, the family might oust him.  Bit of a Catch 22. 

 

 

[WineOh]

1 hour ago, Yinn said:

When Thai people visit your country, you think “they all contribute to your society by spending their money there and frequenting your business” ?

No. Because on the great scheme of things Thais probably only account for 0.000001% of the UK's GDP (or anywhere else in the west for that matter).

 

We account for anywhere between 6 and 20% of yours.

 

Big difference. 

 

Edited April 2, 2020 by Liverpoolfan

[RJRS1301]

2 hours ago, Yinn said:

When Thai people visit your country, you think “they all contribute to your society by spending their money there and frequenting your business” ?

YES, and I welcome them given the opportunity when I  am home as I know a number of Thai and other nationalities who live in my home country, and if I can assit them I do. I have frequented and supported the businesses of Thai who live here if they have aproduct I need.

 

I am a proud member of my home country, but I am not a nationalist.

I used to also do volunteer work in resettlement of refugees.

 

Yinn please open your views, it is a be big world out there

 

Edited April 2, 2020 by RJRS1301