Why Assimilate?

[torito]

I mean he married their daughter and now they are supposed to be a team and should offer help when needed and the loss of face of the wife who got 'lucky' and met a farang but hasn't contributed anything because her husband doesn't want to "assimilate"

Thai guys contribute to their wifes Family if they can, and the need arises.

It's the way it is.

Thai girls (from poor country families) are trainned since they are babies that this is their role in the future: To take care of their parents. Man are notorios for beeing not as cooperative as they should, so girls normally carry the whole burden by themselves.

But this can be managed and at the end of the day are peanuts. It is so cheap for farangs!.

This remaind me a a westen joke I watched in the move "trafiic". It makes reference about how expensive a western woman can be:

- Do you know why hurracan are named after a woman?.

- Becuase when they arrive they are wild and wet; and when they leave..take your home and car with them..

.

So do not make a big deal about thailand customs....still is a "bargain" for farangs .

Edited April 23, 2007 by torito

[qwertz]

Assimilation with Thais is not an issue for me

for me it is a big issue! since i found out through TV how bad it is to live in Thailand i am seeing a shrink twice a week. hopefully he will cure my strange disease "i like to live in Thailand".

Snap diagnosis Dr. N, you've gone troppo. If you have started picking your nose in public and wai wai-ing other farangs, these are the first danger signs. My advice - get a farang shrink and stop eating Thai food at once!

[Eureka]

Excuse me! Is this the thread about the Foreign Business Act?

Is it legal for a farang (alien) to assimilate more than 49%?

Finally Thai Law shows the way toward assimilation into Thai society.

The foreigner must provide 100% of the work, time and money required to allow a successful outcome.

The foreigner can only obtain 49% assimilation and may not be either the sole source or rely on another foreign source.

It is left to Thais to control the remaining 51% required to acheive assimilation.

[Naam]

Assimilation with Thais is not an issue for me

for me it is a big issue! since i found out through TV how bad it is to live in Thailand i am seeing a shrink twice a week. hopefully he will cure my strange disease "i like to live in Thailand".

Snap diagnosis Dr. N, you've gone troppo. If you have started picking your nose in public and wai wai-ing other farangs, these are the first danger signs. My advice - get a farang shrink and stop eating Thai food at once!

that's not easy Qwertz. i love thai food as much as i love Kotelett mit Bratkartoffeln, Sauerbraten mit Semmelknödel and Schnitzel mit Kartoffelsalat. as i am obviously some kind of pervert (quoting my wife), i pour big quantities of "pik nam pla" on whatever german food i eat.

do you think this is dangerous to my physical and/or mental health? if yes i'd appreciate any advice how i can be cured!

[Naam]

my strange disease "i like to live in Thailand".

'Dr. Naam', your disease is contagious....being you a doctor, you should know it.

i'm not a medical doctor but a retired scientist.

[Jai Dee]

i am obviously some kind of pervert (quoting my wife), i pour big quantities of "pik nam pla" on whatever food i eat.

Good to see I'm not the only one in this predicament...

[Naam]

i am obviously some kind of pervert (quoting my wife), i pour big quantities of "pik nam pla" on whatever food i eat.

Good to see I'm not the only one in this predicament...

[Luckydog]

I mean he married their daughter and now they are supposed to be a team and should offer help when needed and the loss of face of the wife who got 'lucky' and met a farang but hasn't contributed anything because her husband doesn't want to "assimilate"

Thai guys contribute to their wifes Family if they can, and the need arises.

It's the way it is.

Still hoping to find just one example of this.......It's NOT the way it is Pal. The way it SHOULD be perhaps, or the way it was, before Farangs appeared over the horizon......

[traveldog]

Luckydog,

I have the example...my gf, soon to be wife's family. Her parents are fruit farmers, quite poor but sent all 4 daughters through uni with degrees...and not one daughter has ever given money to them...the father doesn't understand why some children are raised in such a way as is the norm here...but he clearly and seriously does not want any of my money....only that I care and cherish his daughter...I am a lucky dog...

As far as assimilation many have expressed frustrations and difficulties in doing so....me too! However...I am trying as I do believe it is for my benefit to do so. My thai friends and family have only encouraged me in this...as far as the condescending/racist/ethnocentric thais....yeah it's tiring....but seems like same same back home....stay away from those types and get together with good people, it works for me anyway...

[sonnyJ]

i am obviously some kind of pervert (quoting my wife), i pour big quantities of "pik nam pla" on whatever food i eat.

Good to see I'm not the only one in this predicament...

I for one have been hating the fish sauce for almost 2 years now. Maybe that's telling about my general mental state also. Obviously I'm off thai food almost 99%. I just keep on cooking in this place I call home. By the way, it was not always like this.. I still have some local favourites.

[toklong]

Back in the UK I would often nod in agreement at complaints that Immigrants did not appear to want to assimilate into British society.

In fact I actually asked a Pakistani why he and his family lived in UK but retained their Asian

customs........."Why should we" he replied " We don't like your Customs and Culture".

So I asked "Why are you here then?"

"Because we can have a better standard of living" was his reply.

Now I find myself seeing his point of view more clearly.......

I have almost no desire to 'Go native'. Although I respect Thai Culture, it is not MY Culture.

When I am inside my House, as far as I am concerned, IT IS ENGLAND!

I quite like Buddhism. But it is NOT my Religion. So I don't go to the Temple with my Wife.

I don't support MY Family in the UK. So why should I support HER Family, who are almost complete strangers?

But,I happily give my beloved Wife a better standard of living than she ever dreamed of.......

Yeah! Yeah! I hear the "When in Rome" brigade firing salvoes. But I don't think I am being unreasonable do you?

I worked very hard for every penny I have, and I object to the idea that I must now meekly hand it over.......After all if I get sick I will need it to pay the Hospital bills.

"When I am inside my house, as far as I am concerned, IT IS ENGLAND !"

"Buddhism is not my Religion so I don't go to the Temple with my Wife"

"Why should I support HER family, who are almost complete strangers"

"I happily give my beloved Wife a better standerd of living than she ever dreamed of..."

Did your beloved wife forgo her culture and values and assimilate your culture to receive this better standard of living?

"You respect Thai culture". Respect=Deferential or high reguard, to have esteem for.Deferential=Courteous submission to the opinion, wishes, or judgment of another.

Unreasonable, No, after all its up to you what you want to believe in. Please excuse me for saying that you may be a little disrespectful of your Wife and her culture. When your married it can't always be (ME) and (I).It sometimes has to be (WE). Sorry, but you asked....Good luck, try to see her point of view. I asked wifey her opinion about this. All she said was Kii Neow.

[Heng]

I mean he married their daughter and now they are supposed to be a team and should offer help when needed and the loss of face of the wife who got 'lucky' and met a farang but hasn't contributed anything because her husband doesn't want to "assimilate"

Thai guys contribute to their wifes Family if they can, and the need arises.

It's the way it is.

Still hoping to find just one example of this.......It's NOT the way it is Pal. The way it SHOULD be perhaps, or the way it was, before Farangs appeared over the horizon......

Depends on who you associate with. The sample is going to be skewed because most (not all, by any means) Thai families that have falang son or daughter in laws are typically on the lower end of the socio-economic spectrum. If you take out the female prostitutes supporting their family niche (which understandably may be over represented in falang-Thai relationships), IMO you'll find those supporting their family evenly split between sons and daughters supporting their families. For our employees, we have our accountant send out postal wire transfers "upcountry" every pay day and it's there's not a discernable difference between male and female employees sending financial support. One might notice the same at post offices all over the country around pay day.

If you go further up the scale, you'll find both sons and daughters taking care of elders, generation after generation. Support will less often entail financial issues and will be more literal support (carting your folks around, running errands, managing their property and business affairs, etc.).

edit: In other words, as a Thai... my advice is don't let Thais hit you over the head with the "it's our culture" argument when they are robbing you. Respond "It's not in Thai culture for those from completely different social sets to get together either, creating the inevitable situation where one family will leech off the other... it's also not in Thai culture to marry someone with children from previous marriages either, etc... you're getting a good deal as it is. " (naturally, it's best to say this nicely as this will likely cut them to the bone and they won't forget it)

Edited April 24, 2007 by Heng