Gender dysphoria support online

[Motoko]

I'm feeling down, and I want help. In Thai terms, I am kathooey, but I'm British. Where can I get help for dysphoria online. That is needless to say, without gay flags in my face, that is what I'm trying to get away from. Is there anywhere I can get unbiased help?

[scubascuba3]

Maybe better to phone a UK helpline? use Skype it's about 1p a minute

[bodga]

54 minutes ago, Motoko said:

I'm feeling down, and I want help. In Thai terms, I am kathooey, but I'm British. Where can I get help for dysphoria online. That is needless to say, without gay flags in my face, that is what I'm trying to get away from. Is there anywhere I can get unbiased help?

Come and do some hard work with me at my land for a month,  you'll  soon forget about that.

[Motoko]

34 minutes ago, bodga said:

Come and do some hard work with me at my land for a month,  you'll  soon forget about that.

I should like that, whoever you are. What should really help, is normality for a change.

52 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Maybe better to phone a UK helpline? use Skype it's about 1p a minute

I'd rather not: in the UK, I found they shove agendas of one kind or another. I remember being told I should be part of a gay community. But when in Thailand and Peru, I never met such attitudes. Being stranded in the UK is what is doing my head in. Overpriced everything, unpleasant culture, and general values dissonance. Given I spent time in Thailand, I was hoping for a Thai psychiatrist. I did find help in Peru, when I was trying to find work there.

Edited August 15, 2020 by Motoko

[Sheryl]

Online support groups are not a Thai "thing".

 

there are a number of Western based online groups, some of the best reportedly are:

 

https://translifeline.org/

https://support.therapytribe.com/lgbt-support-group/

 

If you are young (under 25) then also https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

 

I would not necessarily assume that the agendas you encountered before are universal; give these a try.

[Motoko]

This is a problem I am talking about: I am not LGBT. I also asked for a neutral psychiatrist (doctor) who will help online, not a support group connected to gays, thanks. I don't believe there are no psychiatrists active, who are neutral, given how easy it was to get referrals for surgery.

Edited August 16, 2020 by Motoko

[jak2002003]

What is wrong with getting support from a group that is 'connected to gays'? 

 

If such a group can offer support and help it can only be of benefit. 

 

 

[Motoko]

4 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

What is wrong with getting support from a group that is 'connected to gays'? 

 

If such a group can offer support and help it can only be of benefit. 

 

 

If you must know its nasty, personal experiences. Like many people, I try to live and let live, but its hard with others speaking on my behalf. LGBT politics is why I can't find any help I can trust. No, nothing to do with gays, only doctors, thank you.

Edited August 16, 2020 by Motoko

[bestie]

It's very unlikely to find what you looking for. Maybe not impossible but even if you find one Thai psychiatrist you can't really expect the same open talk like you may know from the western culture. It isn't like that here because of their culture. I don't mean it negativ it is what it is. That's unfortunately true for every mental health problems in Thailand.. it's difficult. That's where "friends" comes into place in Thailand to talk about such kind of things. But they have the samaritas https://forum.thaivisa.com/announcement/36-are-you-in-thailand-and-feeling-low-need-someone-to-talk-to-help-is-at-hand/ 

[RJRS1301]

8 hours ago, bodga said:

Come and do some hard work with me at my land for a month,  you'll  soon forget about that.

You really are person who appears to lack compassion and any understanding regarding gender and sexuality.

Same heteronormative tripe dribbles from your fingers each post on gender.

 

[Motoko]

16 minutes ago, bestie said:

It's very unlikely to find what you looking for. Maybe not impossible but even if you find one Thai psychiatrist you can't really expect the same open talk like you may know from the western culture. It isn't like that here because of their culture. I don't mean it negativ it is what it is. That's unfortunately true for every mental health problems in Thailand.. it's difficult. That's where "friends" comes into place in Thailand to talk about such kind of things. But they have the samaritas https://forum.thaivisa.com/announcement/36-are-you-in-thailand-and-feeling-low-need-someone-to-talk-to-help-is-at-hand/ 

Thanks. But where do kathooey go to in Thailand, seeing as they need referrals to surgery? Presumably some will speak English.

Edited August 16, 2020 by Motoko

[bestie]

3 minutes ago, Motoko said:

Thanks. But where do kathooey go to in Thailand, seeing as they need referrals to surgery? Presumably some will speak English.

I don't know but maybe you should be more realistic when it comes to Thailand. At first which Thai psychiatrist can speak English so well that he will hang on a phone and will understand you with a western perspective ? And second I'm sure if you go to a hospital in Thailand with the right amount of money the doctor will fill out the documents or you have a short chat? Please correct me if I'm wrong. It isn't so complicated here to change your gender, I think you know that, but that doesn't mean that they will understand you. Maybe many people think Thailand is so friendly and open because of so many Katoeys but in reality there are very conservative. I would say don't look for a psychiatrist in Thailand because I think you will waste your time. But nothing is impossible. I hope you will get better soon . All the best

[Motoko]

46 minutes ago, bestie said:

I don't know but maybe you should be more realistic when it comes to Thailand. At first which Thai psychiatrist can speak English so well that he will hang on a phone and will understand you with a western perspective ? And second I'm sure if you go to a hospital in Thailand with the right amount of money the doctor will fill out the documents or you have a short chat? Please correct me if I'm wrong. It isn't so complicated here to change your gender, I think you know that, but that doesn't mean that they will understand you. Maybe many people think Thailand is so friendly and open because of so many Katoeys but in reality there are very conservative. I would say don't look for a psychiatrist in Thailand because I think you will waste your time. But nothing is impossible. I hope you will get better soon . All the best

That is he appeal after my experiences, thanks. And thank you.

But I would still like a psych to contact.

 

[Sheryl]

2 hours ago, Motoko said:

This is a problem I am talking about: I am not LGBT. I also asked for a neutral psychiatrist (doctor) who will help online, not a support group connected to gays, thanks. I don't believe there are no psychiatrists active, who are neutral, given how easy it was to get referrals for surgery.

The "T" in LGBT stands for "transgender". It is there specifically to indicate more than gays.

[Sheryl]

1 hour ago, Motoko said:

Thanks. But where do kathooey go to in Thailand, seeing as they need referrals to surgery? Presumably some will speak English.

 

There are certainly psychiatrists in Thailand who deal with TG/gender dysphoria. But they do not operate online support groups and from your post I understand you to not be in Thailand at present?

 

I would add that most of these psychiatrists just provide legally mandated signature for surgery rather than in depth psychological support.

[Sheryl]

36 minutes ago, Motoko said:

That is he appeal after my experiences, thanks. And thank you.

But I would still like a psych to contact.

 

 

If you are not physically in Thailand, I do nto think it is possible for you to get treatment from a Thailand-based psychiatrist.

 

I also doubt that it is the case that 100% of all psychiatrists/counselors in the the UK push agendas. Just because you encountered some who did, does not mean all do. It is common for it to take some trial and error to find a good "fit" between patient and pyschiatrists/ psychologist (what you seem to want would fall more under psychologist purview than psychiatrist, BTW).

 

Have you already tried the Gender Identity Clinic?

https://gic.nhs.uk/services/counselling-psychology/

 

[jak2002003]

3 hours ago, Motoko said:

Thanks. But where do kathooey go to in Thailand, seeing as they need referrals to surgery? Presumably some will speak English.

They save up the money they need for whatever operation they want and go to a hospital, get a signature off a doctor there, and have the operation. 

 

 

[Motoko]

2 hours ago, Sheryl said:

 

There are certainly psychiatrists in Thailand who deal with TG/gender dysphoria. But they do not operate online support groups and from your post I understand you to not be in Thailand at present?

 

I would add that most of these psychiatrists just provide legally mandated signature for surgery rather than in depth psychological support.

Maybe so, but the core issue isn't GD, but stress, depression, and coping. It is tangentical to past experiences, so I want understanding, not identity politics.

[Sheryl]

1 hour ago, Motoko said:

Maybe so, but the core issue isn't GD, but stress, depression, and coping. It is tangentical to past experiences, so I want understanding, not identity politics.

Plenty of counselors in the UK....and they certainly do mot "all" engage in identity politics.

 

 I'm sorry bit it is not feasible to consult a Thai psycholigist or counselot when you are not in Thailand.

 

And frankly counselling sevices in Thailand are pretty weak.  The best counsellors in Thailand tend to be Westerners. 

[bodga]

16 hours ago, RJRS1301 said:

You really are person who appears to lack compassion and any understanding regarding gender and sexuality.

Same heteronormative tripe dribbles from your fingers each post on gender.

 

Where as your own  replies are  so  perfect, he states he is depressed, concentrating on some  hard  work  will make  him forget all about this, he  has too  much time to  think, maybe you keep  your own dribble  opinions  to yourself.

 

"Maybe so, but the core issue isn't GD, but stress, depression, and coping"

Edited August 16, 2020 by bodga

[Motoko]

On 8/16/2020 at 1:11 PM, Sheryl said:

I'm sorry bit it is not feasible to consult a Thai psycholigist or counselot when you are not in Thailand.

How then will people be able to visit Thailand for SRS? I believe two psychs need to sign documents, and it must be two months prior to surgery.

 

Please, just accept that I have nothing at all, to do with homosexuals, and it is not your business. This is not least because of school bullying, as though I was "desisting", as some people put it. If I did not want to avoid any stigma of such sort, this would not be an issue for me. Given the historical treatment of the subject in British media, I'm surprised this needs saying.

 

Up till American queers started meddling, with "de-medicalization", the condition was at least treated with dignity. So I insist upon the respect that goes with any other disease, not being told I am some kind of <deleted>. That is not what I want, or need, to experience at this time. While I do not wish to tell anyone else how to live their lives, I do not find association to LGBT sympathetic in the least.

Edited August 18, 2020 by Motoko

[Sheryl]

10 minutes ago, Motoko said:

How then will people be able to visit Thailand for SRS? I believe two psychs need to sign documents, and it must be two months prior to surgery.

 

Please, just accept that I have nothing at all, to do with homosexuals, and it is not your business. This is not least because of school bullying, as though I was "desisting", as some people put it. If I did not want to avoid any stigma of such sort, this would not be an issue for me. Given the historical treatment of the subject in British media, I'm surprised this needs saying.

 

Up till American queers started meddling, with "de-medicalization", the condition was at least treated with dignity. So I insist upon the respect that goes with any other disease, not being told I am some kind of <deleted>. They do not get an opinion, as regards my suffering. While I do not wish to tell anyone else how to live their lives, I do not find LGBT sympathetic in the least.

 

Nobody here has at any time  said anything regarding homosexuality and nobody here has called you names. That you believe this to have occurred and are reacting angrily to attempts to be helpful  suggests that you are projecting which in turn makes me wonder about your claims about what happened with UK counselors.

 

Psychiatrists/psychologists  who sign off on SRS in Thailand do not do  online counselling. Nor do any Thai counsellors/psychiatrists that I know of. 

 

People coming to Thailand for SRS typically make more than one trip (especially since you are required to have a year of hormone therapy first) . I have not heard anything about the psych evals  having to be done  2 months prior to surgery. I have read that one is needed from your home country and one from Thailand (though I don't know how strictly this is enforced) ...but according to your post #18 this is anyway irrelevant since the issue is not GD but rather general stress for which you want counselling. That can come from any psychologist/counsellor with whom you are able to establish  a good rapport. It will not be possible to arrange to get it from a Thai provider online, however.

 

 

[Motoko]

39 minutes ago, Sheryl said:

 

Nobody here has at any time  said anything regarding homosexuality and nobody here has called you names. That you believe this to have occurred and are reacting angrily to attempts to be helpful  suggests that you are projecting which in turn makes me wonder about your claims about what happened with UK counselors.

I apologise if I was stand-offish, but I do not appreciate the gaslight. You did, in this thread, link to gay counsellors in the UK, and ask why I do not want to see LGBT people, at least in that country. This was a natural reaction, if an over-reaction, on my part, but it was your words.

 

In any case it doesn't matter, as tro what happened with UK counsellors; this was not a choice or a lifestyle. They had gay flags in a place of "healthcare", that's all I needed to know, when certain words and attitudes, came out their mouths.

 

Quote

Psychiatrists/psychologists  who sign off on SRS in Thailand do not do  online counselling. Nor do any Thai counsellors/psychiatrists that I know of. 

There must be someone at a hospital?

 

Quote

People coming to Thailand for SRS typically make more than one trip (especially since you are required to have a year of hormone therapy first) . I have not heard anything about the psych evals  having to be done  2 months prior to surgery. I have read that one is needed from your home country and one from Thailand (though I don't know how strictly this is enforced) ...but according to your post #18 this is anyway irrelevant since the issue is not GD but rather general stress for which you want counselling. That can come from any psychologist/counsellor with whom you are able to establish  a good rapport. It will not be possible to arrange to get it from a Thai provider online, however.

You are right, but I'm thinking about "de-transition". (I hate words like that.) Because of other people's political <deleted>, I have nothing now. It was all wasted money, not least because the vaginal surgery went wrong, a few years ago. To de-transition, I assume I would need two certificates again,

Edited August 18, 2020 by Motoko

[Sheryl]

1 hour ago, Motoko said:

 

There must be someone at a hospital?

 

 

Not that do online counselling, no.

 

I have no idea if 2 psych certificates are needed for de-transitioning surgery. Best to contact the clinic/hospital involved and ask them.

 

In any case your initial thread was not asking about that but rather for general counselling...initially for GD and then later saying not related to GD but rather overall stress and depression.

 

You do indeed sound like you need help, but you are going to need to find it in the country where you are, you cannot get it online from a Thai.  If what you need help with is related to GD or the decision to de-transition you might need someone with expertise in GD (as you initially requested).  The GIC which link I previously provided seems to be specifically designed for this and is exclusively for Gender Dysphoria not any other issue.  They do not treat gays, only people suffering from GD.

 

If what you need is more general therapy not related to GD than any counsellor with whom you can establish a rapport will do, and need nto have any special training in GD. There are many, many resources for this in the UK.

 

In my experience the rapport between patient and therapist is the most important thing and it is a matter of trial and error to find someone you "click" with, that you feel really hears and  understands you. 

 

If before you are able to find a suitable therapist you feel lijke you urgently need to talk to someone, you can always call the Samaritans hotline https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/talk-us-phone/ 

or call Supportline

 https://www.supportline.org.uk/about/about-supportline/

 

 

[Motoko]

7 minutes ago, Sheryl said:

You do indeed sound like you need help, but you are going to need to find it in the country where you are, you cannot get it online from a Thai.  If what you need help with is related to GD or the decision to de-transition you might need someone with expertise in GD (as you initially requested).  The GIC which link I previously provided seems to be specifically designed for this and is exclusively for Gender Dysphoria not any other issue.  They do not treat gays, only people suffering from GD.

The GIC only panders to queers, they back de-medicalisation, for gods sake. There is no reason for that, except to please the American out and proud lot. This is what I mean; show me someone purely sympathetic, to dysphoria, without identity or politics, who stand for those who wish they didn't have a problem. There is no such unbiased healthcare in the UK, to where I might turn, thus the need for assistance from a more sympathetic culture. The Brits will also charge far too much, and I will get no refund if they start trying to push self acceptance and such <deleted>, like years before.