Fair or unfair?

[Formaleins]

What would you do?

Been here for over 15 years, I have a 19 year old boy that needs a bit of support, he has a job and in general takes care of himself, needs a motorbike for work, I keep him fed as Thai wages are not fantastic, don't ask for board and lodging, after all he is my responsibility.

 

However, and here comes the reason for the post - My Thai wife for whatever reason (has a <deleted> son from previous sex) who is now 40 or older, he is married / living with a Thai lady of similar age, 40+

 

Recently, they seem to think it is a good idea to come to our home every night at 8 or 9 pm and have dinner.

 

The food is the usual Northern Thai slop, the slight amount of meat is bought by them, however, all of the gas, electric, spices, oils etc. is at my expense....What would be the best way to tell them to pay up or <deleted> Off? 

 

I am getting old, long in the tooth, limited income, I support my Son, Wife and myself, but there is no way I am feeding two other 40 year old spoiled brats that cannot feed themselves. best way forward, least confrontation, I don't really want to shoot them.....but you never know!

[IraqRon]

Christ man, you are a stingy one for sure/. they bring some meat and your wife cooks it and you bemoan the cost of gas, oil, spices, etc.  Maybe their lively hood has been affected by the cv19 crisis and are doing the best they can.  Also your statement that northern thai food is slop and your wife is a .... as well as her son a ... is very telling.   Oh yes, you give your son some help, what a guy.  Disgusted by your diatribes.  What are you doing in this culture?  

[worgeordie]

Shoot them, but just in the knee's ,it's the only way to get the message

across you don't want them coming ,good luck.

regards worgeordie

[Formaleins]

I Think you must be my wife!

 

(It is not the fact  of them using resources, but they cook everything  and eat it themselves, there is nothing left for my son or anyone else, and they takeaway whatever is left! They live with my wifes mother for free,  sponge off her (she is 80+ and they like the smell of the 2 million Baht she got from a land sale....no, these people are leeches!

[Dumbastheycome]

5 minutes ago, Formaleins said:

What would you do?

Been here for over 15 years, I have a 19 year old boy that needs a bit of support, he has a job and in general takes care of himself, needs a motorbike for work, I keep him fed as Thai wages are not fantastic, don't ask for board and lodging, after all he is my responsibility.

 

However, and here comes the reason for the post - My Thai wife for whatever reason (has a <deleted> son from previous sex) who is now 40 or older, he is married / living with a Thai lady of similar age, 40+

 

Recently, they seem to think it is a good idea to come to our home every night at 8 or 9 pm and have dinner.

 

The food is the usual Northern Thai slop, the slight amount of meat is bought by them, however, all of the gas, electric, spices, oils etc. is at my expense....What would be the best way to tell them to pay up or <deleted> Off? 

 

I am getting old, long in the tooth, limited income, I support my Son, Wife and myself, but there is no way I am feeding two other 40 year old spoiled brats that cannot feed themselves. best way forward, least confrontation, I don't really want to shoot them.....but you never know!

Importantly in your desire  to curtail  what you find  is a problem is to establish what  your Thai wife's thoughts are. With you  or against  or indifferent (maybe) ?

Ultimately the  gas, the spices, oil etc could often be depleted awaiting  replenishment  (tomorrow or  tomorrow or  tomorrow). The difficulty is that they bring a  component of a meal which to them may seem justification.  Good luck !

[Formaleins]

1 minute ago, worgeordie said:

Shoot them, but just in the knee's ,it's the only way to get the message

across you don't want them coming ,good luck.

regards worgeordie

Love that one mate, shooting them in the head would do no damage

 

[Lacessit]

The family unit is everything to Thais. If you don't understand that after 15 years here, you are a slow learner.

No doubt you expect your wife and son to look after you when you are no longer able to do so yourself. That's what the family unit in Thailand is about.

[Dumbastheycome]

1 minute ago, Formaleins said:

I Think you must be my wife!

 

(It is not the fact  of them using resources, but they cook everything  and eat it themselves, there is nothing left for my son or anyone else, and they takeaway whatever is left! They live with my wifes mother for free,  sponge off her (she is 80+ and they like the smell of the 2 million Baht she got from a land sale....no, these people are leeches!

Aha !  Now  you  reveal a different aspect.

But .... clean the  gun !

[Formaleins]

1 minute ago, Dumbastheycome said:

Importantly in your desire  to curtail  what you find  is a problem is to establish what  your Thai wife's thoughts are. With you  or against  or indifferent (maybe) ?

Ultimately the  gas, the spices, oil etc could often be depleted awaiting  replenishment  (tomorrow or  tomorrow or  tomorrow). The difficulty is that they bring a  component of a meal which to them may seem justification.  Good luck !

They would starve to death or cook on charcoal or dead babies rather than pay 500 Baht for a tank of gas!

[Formaleins]

3 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

The family unit is everything to Thais. If you don't understand that after 15 years here, you are a slow learner.

No doubt you expect your wife and son to look after you when you are no longer able to do so yourself. That's what the family unit in Thailand is about.

You have to be kidding, the only thing a Thai would do is pay for the funeral and keep the proceeds! They have no loyalty to anyone other than money.

Edited November 14, 2020 by Formaleins

[Formaleins]

2 minutes ago, Dumbastheycome said:

Aha !  Now  you  reveal a different aspect.

But .... clean the  gun !

Spick and span, oiled every day.

[AlexRich]

It doesn’t sound like something you should get too worked up about. If they are decent people and you get on well with them then let it go. Unless of course it is a major drain on your resources, but I’m not sure it is? Your priority quite correctly is your own son. 

[Dumbastheycome]

1 minute ago, Formaleins said:

You have to be kidding, the only thin a Thai would do is pay for the funeral and keep the proceeds! They have no loyalty to anyone other than money.

Not altogether true. As within any  nationality and culture the  people in are equally as  diverse in nature.

AS is the  reaction  of those exposed  to the effect which at  times  may elicit objection in excess of rationalization.

 

[Lacessit]

1 minute ago, Formaleins said:

You have to be kidding, the only thin a Thai would do is pay for the funeral and keep the proceeds! They have no loyalty to anyone other than money.

If it's such a problem to you, cut off the money or supply of goods. A gas cylinder can always be empty when they come calling. I'd advise talking to your wife first, though.

My GF has loyalty to me, she prays every night to Buddha for a long life for me. That's because she knows when I cark it, the monthly flow of money will end. So she will do her best to keep me alive.

[Formaleins]

4 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

It doesn’t sound like something you should get too worked up about. If they are decent people and you get on well with them then let it go. Unless of course it is a major drain on your resources, but I’m not sure it is? Your priority quite correctly is your own son. 

It is the give an inch take a mile! Would you do it? Seriously, would you turn up at your mothers house every night, with your wife and expect your mother to cook for a 40 year old couple at your expense?  whilst trying to support your own family? Feeding 5? Sorry but I am not some food Charity!

[Formaleins]

7 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

If it's such a problem to you, cut off the money or supply of goods. A gas cylinder can always be empty when they come calling. I'd advise talking to your wife first, though.

My GF has loyalty to me, she prays every night to Buddha for a long life for me. That's because she knows when I cark it, the monthly flow of money will end. So she will do her best to keep me alive.

Good philosophy, the God of Thailand is MONEY!

[swissie]

52 minutes ago, Formaleins said:

What would you do?

Been here for over 15 years, I have a 19 year old boy that needs a bit of support, he has a job and in general takes care of himself, needs a motorbike for work, I keep him fed as Thai wages are not fantastic, don't ask for board and lodging, after all he is my responsibility.

 

However, and here comes the reason for the post - My Thai wife for whatever reason (has a <deleted> son from previous sex) who is now 40 or older, he is married / living with a Thai lady of similar age, 40+

 

Recently, they seem to think it is a good idea to come to our home every night at 8 or 9 pm and have dinner.

 

The food is the usual Northern Thai slop, the slight amount of meat is bought by them, however, all of the gas, electric, spices, oils etc. is at my expense....What would be the best way to tell them to pay up or <deleted> Off? 

 

I am getting old, long in the tooth, limited income, I support my Son, Wife and myself, but there is no way I am feeding two other 40 year old spoiled brats that cannot feed themselves. best way forward, least confrontation, I don't really want to shoot them.....but you never know!

Tell 'em that you are thrilled to see them everyday. Tell 'em that deep in your heart you are a family man.

Then tell 'em that you incurred some massive gambling losses recently and the mafia is on your tail. Ask them if they could help you out with a monthly contribution to help pay off the gambling debt.
Chances are, you won't see 'em again for the next 20 years.

[2long]

15 years

Must be 60+

Troll alert, says I

[kingofthemountain]

1 hour ago, Formaleins said:

They would starve to death or cook on charcoal or dead babies rather than pay 500 Baht for a tank of gas!

Honestly you seem to be on the same mindset

moaning for some gas and oil (WE are talking about 200\300 bahts a month right?)

to help your family (Yes, even if its your wife's son, it's now your family

maybe something you wasn't aware of when you have decided to marry her?)

i wonder how have you even managed to stay in Thailand for so long

if you don't have the minimal financial requirments to stay here and having a decent life.

What would happen if your wife, or yourself, or your legit son had a medical problem with

a huge amount of money to throw away? Do you plan a go fund me?

[kingofthemountain]

41 minutes ago, 2long said:

15 years

Must be 60+

Troll alert, says I

I hope it's a troll 

if not, it's sad, really sad

[uncleP]

You could actually start taking your wife and son out to eat. ????

[1FinickyOne]

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

That's because she knows when I cark it, the monthly flow of money will end

you have not provided her w/any savings and security for after your passing? and you boast of your 'good taking care?' 

[kingofthemountain]

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

My GF has loyalty to me, she prays every night to Buddha for a long life for me. That's because she knows when I cark it, the monthly flow of money will end. So she will do her best to keep me alive.

i am always surprised by the love leading most of the farang\thais couples

[kingofthemountain]

2 hours ago, Formaleins said:

Recently, they seem to think it is a good idea to come to our home every night at 8 or 9 pm and have dinner.

Who is the owner of the land and the house?

(I mean on the oficial documents, i don't ask who paid for it)

If your wife is the owner, you have nothing to say in the matter

she is legaly in her house (Whatever you think about it) and she can 

invite who she wants, and even put you and your son outside if you make problems.

If you rent and if the contract is in your name, we can discuss your problem

Edited November 14, 2020 by kingofthemountain

[Airalee]

Dude...it’s food.

[teacherclaire]

The food is the usual Northern Thai slop, the slight amount of meat is bought by them, however, all of the gas, electric, spices, oils etc. is at my expense..

 

God, your post made me very sad. Gas, electric, spices, oils.........that's almost nothing and Thai people try to help their family members and so should you.

 

   They pay for the meat, don't you eat with them from time to time? Too many people have lost their jobs and that might be one of the the reasons why they come to you. 

 

Is that really so hard to understand? If the answer is yes, please move back home wherever you came from.

 

   If you can't discuss that with your wife then you're already in a lost battle.

 

You should address the problem to her, not on an open forum. You wanted an answer, please try to understand my points.

 

  I've been here almost 20 years in  a healthy relationship. Their family is very important and nI think that's okay.

 

  

 

   

 

 

 

   

Edited November 14, 2020 by teacherclaire
MFUT Make Foreigners Understand Thailand

[teacherclaire]

44 minutes ago, kingofthemountain said:

i am always surprised by the love leading most of the farang\thais couples

She' might pray but more for her and her beloved ones. If the OP continues acting so weird, she'll hatte him more and more. And the end is near. 

 

And the end is well known all over TVF......just read the posts of people who are single now and wish they hadn't done some cheap Charley stuff. 

[ThailandRyan]

52 minutes ago, kingofthemountain said:

I hope it's a troll 

if not, it's sad, really sad

Problem is, even some of the Expats live hand to mouth and can not be bothered to live by the culture they have chosen to live within. Bar the door Katie, no one coming to eat at their place because they would not give the shirt off of their backs for anyone.

[impulse]

Grab a plate, a fork and a spoon and join 'em.

 

They're probably bringing the meat because they're concerned for you and his Mom, what with things so tight.  Well, maybe just his Mom.

 

You didn't marry just her.  You married the family.

 

[daveAustin]

Don't forget, Thais always let the most 'important/wealthiest' person pay (Thai or farang) as a mark of respect, so you should be thanking them.