The Ideal Woman

[samran]

How many of us are currently single? 

The following are my requirements for a Thai woman good enough to spend the rest of my life with.

The requirements are listed in order of importance.

1: Her English is good enough to understand and laugh at most BBC comedy programs but she doesn't have an irritating U.K. or (worse) U.S. accent and she's proud to be Thai and her personality hasn't been westernised.

She's her own person but still a loyal companion who shows vulnerability at times but also has a witty, dominant side and sometimes takes the piss out of me when I deserve it. She's had a complicated life but not a bad one and we can relate to each other and have a lot in common. She's intelligent and experienced in the school of life and is between 22 and 32.

2: She get's along with my friends, Thai and farang, male and female, and I get along with hers.

3: She's really really good looking and has a fantastic pair of tits.

4: She's no boring, goody goody virgin but she's no slag and has had boyfriends before but she didn't fancy them as much as me. She has a high sex drive but is very faithful. She's not into kinky stuff but is adventurous and likes a quicky in the morning before breakfast.

5: She cleans my room but won't tolerate too much laziness on my part, she's no maid and won't be treated like one. She doesn't mind cooking and enjoys giving me massages. She's a trained masseuse and hairdresser so I get free hair cuts too.

6: She's not rich as such, but she's doing well for herself and doesn't want or need a boyfriend for financial reasons. She likes to be treated once in a while but doesn't like to be pampered like a baby, she's very financially independant.

7: Bonus if she drives a car but hardly a requirment - nothing to fancy, Honda Civic or something, but she doesn't have any iritating fukcing soppy soft toys on the back seat or hanging from the mirror and she certainly doesn't have a little 'sock' for her mobile phone.

8: She doesn't spend much time on her mobile when we're together but she has a ringtone nobody else has, maybe a classic British pop song; 'House Of Fun' by Madness for example.

9: She's been to other countries but she's never flown before, and one day when we were really well established and loved up I could enjoy her first flying experience and hold her hand and joke with her that the sound of the undercarriage going up is actually the wing rivets coming lose and watch her shit herself.

She would like to visit England but doesn't wish to live there.

10: Her ideal man is about thirty years old, reasonably handsome with a good heart, a great conversationist. She's always wanted somebody who can be both very funny and serious and who is multi talented, witty and clever. He has tattoos but you wouldn't think it to look at him. They are only on his upper arms and they are very original and he is slim but not skinny and likes to dress smartly occasionaly. He likes talking on expat discussion forums and doesn't eat enough.

He doesn't have a huge knob but it's certainly alright and he knows what to do with it.

11: Forgot about this - this is actually quite a high requirement that should be listed way above number 11 but she is NOT camera shy and doesn't go all stupid and shy and girlie when a camera is stuck in her face. She's happy with herself physically but not arrogant.

12: She likes cats and would also let me have a pet snake if I wanted.

Does anybody know her?

Just a couple of clarifications as to your request:

Points 1 & 9

Am afraid dear friend that if she is capeable of point 1 it means that at somestage she has lived in the UK/Australia/NZ (the only places in the world where BBC comedy rate), so point 9 will clash (unless she caught the QEII when she travels overseas)

Point 3

The terms "Thai girl" and "great pair of tits" aren't usually found in the same sentence.

Point 10

So you are telling us that you have a small knob?

Other than that, I know the person. She is married to my cousin. Great Gal. Unfortunately for you, point 4 is the sticking point. She loves her husband too much.

All the best with the search.

Love,

Samran (with tongue definetly in cheek)

[Bluecat]

The terms "Thai girl" and "great pair of tits" aren't usually found in the same sentence.

Samran,

He is maybe talking new generation of Thai girls here.

Whatever it means,...

But as far as great pair of tits are concerned, well, they're not much different than the girls from the western world.

At least in the cities.

Must be the junk food,...

[King Nick 4th]

My next gf will hopefully have an allergy to gold ,my last gf didn't suffer from this, unfortunately

[The Gentleman Scamp]

13: She smokes, but only socially.

There's more but I've forgotten them.

There are plenty of girls out there but I did say I was looking for the ideal woman and a good percentage of Thai females do have a nice firm bust.

I saw one the other day that you could park a motorbike in.

[Darknight]

The ideal woman ???

eeeuuhhhh    1 meter high with a flat head and big ears 

you figure it out....lol

you forgot no "teeth"

indeed padkapow , i forgot

anybody else figured out what the flat head is for ?

Indeed , tis to rest your pint of ale whilst receiving drainage of the trousersnake, no?

The big ears are a new addition to and old favourite, are they handles perhaps?

gotta have some where to hang your coat , haven't you ? *Chang*

[stumonster]

mate, does she have to be human...or is a machine acceptable?

[chanchao]

Phew.. I thought for a minute Scamp was describing my girlfriend to the finest detail, but fortunately she had flown in an airplane before I met her, does actually like kinky stuff, and hates cats.

Still a pretty good score.

They *DO* exist!

Cheers,

Chanchao

Edited June 20, 2004 by chanchao

[chanchao]

Oh as for British comedy, she hardly gets the sarcasm in my favorite Brit comedy programme: Top Gear.

And I noticed that in the list of 12 there's no requirement about her education other than 'school of life'? (Fair enough if that was intentional; just confirming)

Cheers,

Chanchao

Edited June 20, 2004 by chanchao

[The Gentleman Scamp]

If there is a God then he may log onto this site, and he may even like me judging by who I met last night. She's got 7 out of 12 plus some I hadn't thought of.

Watch this space...

[daveh]

I guess my girlfriend would rate 10 out of 12. I would give her half a point each for 1 and 3, and she's never been of the country. For 1, to be honest, I am not sure that I would find a Thai girl right in the head if she laughed at British humor. Her tit's are nice, but small. There was this one girl I was with in Pattaya that had the BEST tits. Great size, shape, nipples... ###### they were nice. If I could get those put on my gf, she would have 10.5 out of 12. Even so, 10 is not bad.

[WISteve]

Well, I met a little darling in Pattaya a few weeks back that would meet the hooters requirement but she seemed far too bright to laugh at british humor!

The lady has headlights but would alas fall sadly behind on many of your other "requirements" I'm afraid.

But you can't expect everything in one package IMO.

Good luck on your search. You're gonna need it!

~WISteve

[andyinkat]

Nice Steve, very nice.

What bar, and how's her english (humour aside!) ??

Oh, and what's her name then?

[davethailand]

not bad,

you should try walking st.

[WISteve]

"What bar, and how's her english "

Well, does this pic of her firmly gripping the Thai/English dictionary I bought her on Central Rd tell you anything?

Her name is Phay as I recall and she worked in "Fools and Wild Horses Bar" on Soi 7 in Pattaya. Heaven forbid someone might call me a monger in these parts, but there was a question about Thai ladies and chests, so she came to mind immediately.....

~WISteve

[andyinkat]

I still think she looks ###### fine. might call in if I can remember.

[Candyflip]

Lets see how many I fit in your ideal woman?

1. My english is ok, normally I have a california accent but after 2 screwdrivers my accent somehow turns to cockney mode!! good sign for my friends to stop me drinking. ( Bonus , I speak Spanish well)

- Well educated, Master's degree in museum studies from Amsterdam school of the arts.

- I am 26 and have a complicated life but not bad one.

2. I do get along well with people.

3. Good looking plus charm.

4.High sex drive with gorgous man.

5. Sorry I dont clean, I always have maids. I can cook , no prob.

6. I am not rich but my father haha

7.No car because never drive on my own, too shortsighted (- 1100).

8. I Dont like talking on moblie phone when somebody around. My ring tone is traffic by dj tiesto.

9. Too bad I have been living in many countires, 4 different continents in my last 8 years. I like London but not for retirement.

10. My ideal man would be someone who is dead gorgous,smart andmatured. He should be someone who can inspire me and able to fullfill my ultimately desire.

11. I am not super girly, innocent or shy but at the same time I dont lose my feminine side.Only someone special can make me shy.

12. Prefer dogs. Snake is great, get a big one!

Close enough to be your ideal one?

[joinme2leave]

possibly MY ideal one candy,

excpt the california accent...

[DaveYo]

For me I would want Superwoman for sure!!!!!!!!!! Need that super feeling, that super love, that super looks, that super speed, that super kiss and many more.

Cannot settle with the kettle!!!!!!!!!

Daveyo

[Bluecat]

For me I would want Superwoman for sure!!!!!!!!!! Need that super feeling, that super love, that super looks, that super speed, that super kiss and many more.

Agree, Daveyo.

That's the reason we're never happy,...

[Jeff1]

The ideal woman ???

eeeuuhhhh    1 meter high with a flat head and big ears 

you figure it out....lol

you forgot no "teeth"

indeed padkapow , i forgot

anybody else figured out what the flat head is for ?

Indeed , tis to rest your pint of ale whilst receiving drainage of the trousersnake, no?

I have always heard it as ,

Pistol grip ears and rubber teeth

[Padkapow Guy]

The ideal woman ???

eeeuuhhhh    1 meter high with a flat head and big ears 

you figure it out....lol

you forgot no "teeth"

indeed padkapow , i forgot

anybody else figured out what the flat head is for ?

Indeed , tis to rest your pint of ale whilst receiving drainage of the trousersnake, no?

I have always heard it as ,

Pistol grip ears and rubber teeth

You make your dream girl your way I make mine my way.

I think your are correct though about pistol grip ears and rubber teeth.

[sonthaya]

Thats a lot of requirements.

Cant you just make do with a prostitute?

I have been living with one for 2 months now.

Requisites:

3 holer.

Cooks.

Cleans.

Can suck start a Harley.

She's 26, no kids, no stretchmarks, slim and pretty, and costs 350bht a day.

When I go back to the UK, she will go back to the bars. No problem if you don't become attached to them.

Anyone else hiring prostitutes on here?

You are sick

[farang noi]

The ideal woman ???

eeeuuhhhh    1 meter high with a flat head and big ears 

Big fan of Star Wars.

Aren't you?

sounds more like E.T.

..................... cheers

[The Gentleman Scamp]

One who calls back or answers her phone, Jesus! Just because I was too tired to meet her on Monday night??? I don't know why I bother... Shame, she was nice, a 24 yr old, smart, big busted jewellry importer who I met on Saturday and exchanged only numbers with.

My plan was to take it slow and get to know her as a friend as we had only got drunk with her mates on Saturday.

Is this really a game they play? She had seemed so keen before I said I couldn't meet her Monday... <deleted> it, I'm going back to my old ways.

[rainman]

Lets see how many I fit in your ideal woman?

...

6. I am not rich but my father haha

...

Close enough to be your ideal one?

You might want to not post details like those when looking for a guy. Not sure if you're seriously looking here but just thought i'd mention it since i saw your previous post on where to find good farang men, etc. Many guys out there just for money.

[Thetyim]

Actually ThaiVisa is now selling girls, if you don't believe me this check this out,

http://www.thaivisa.com/auction/item.php?i...8cfef36e4844069

[rainman]

Actually ThaiVisa is now selling girls, if you don't beleive me this check this out,

http://www.thaivisa.com/auction/item.php?i...8cfef36e4844069

hm, look! there's 200 copies of her available..

Number of items: 200

[whattodo]

Actually ThaiVisa is now selling girls, if you don't beleive me this check this out,

http://www.thaivisa.com/auction/item.php?i...8cfef36e4844069

Never thought i see that on Thaivisa? its a wind up yes?

[andyinkat]

Awful. terrible. (She is f***ing gorgeous though!)

200 falang boyfriends - that's about right, isn't it?

[Thetyim]

Well she has been available for exactly one month now and no-one has offered more than the starting price of 300 baht.

Maybe Rainman is correct and it is just a picture but I prefer the other explanation.