Give Me Money... Give Me More!

[pumpuiman]

I don't loan money. I will provide a way to earn it if I need some work done.

As far as family, here is a quote from one of my posts in another thread....

Remember this.....you are marrying your wife's family as well. This is not something to be taken lightly.

You are now their "Social Security Benefit". A very real and serious fact.

You and your wife, and any other of her brothers and sisters will be responsible for the parents care in their old age, and when problems arise in the present. This is just how it's done.

Be fully aware of your obligations before you marry. I'm happy knowing I provide a "safety net" to my new parents, I love my new family as my own......but I've read stories of divorce resulting because of a farang's lack of familiarity with this custom.

I'm not trying to talk you out of it......I couldn't be happier......just know that your marrying a family, and with your marriage comes implied responsibility many farang are not familiar with.

Something to note.....all daughters and sons, not just farang, are expected to care for their parents. With no government support program to speak of, it is unfortunately a necessity.

My wife and I are happy to occasionally help out, and any support given is discussed and divided amongst her brother and sisters as well.

I'm not an ATM.....I'm a son.

I would not abandon my parents in the U.S. if they had no social security.....I won't do it in Thailand.

[blizzard]

sir with all due respect.

not all are marrying thier families.....lol

[richard10365]

I just can't see caring enough for someone else's family to give them money.

They didn't earn it. They didn't help me earn it. I didn't know they existed when I earned it. Why should they get it?

I've had my marriage certifcate translated. There's nothing on there about taking care of the family.

[Luckydog]

I have honestly never been asked for anything and my wife and I have received large cash gifts from her mother.

Hang on to her Doc shes one in a million......wish I had one like that.

[Luckydog]

I just can't see caring enough for someone else's family to give them money.

They didn't earn it. They didn't help me earn it. I didn't know they existed when I earned it. Why should they get it?

I've had my marriage certifcate translated. There's nothing on there about taking care of the family.

My feelings exactly. Good for you Pal. If more of us Stupid Farangs stuck to our guns we would all be a lot better off!

[villagefarang]

Gee guys!!! I was just bored! Nobody was commenting on my blog, so I thought I would try out the forum and see if anybody wanted to play. Threw out a bone and low and behold 64 responses and over 900+ hits. You guys seem to know each other, though, and have old scores to settle. Didn't mean for things to get so personal. Everybody has their own Thai story and no two are the same. Can't be, because each one has different actors. I figure people who have problems here would have problems anywhere they went. But then again what do I know?

[pumpuiman]

I just can't see caring enough for someone else's family to give them money.

They didn't earn it. They didn't help me earn it. I didn't know they existed when I earned it. Why should they get it?

I've had my marriage certifcate translated. There's nothing on there about taking care of the family.

My feelings exactly. Good for you Pal. If more of us Stupid Farangs stuck to our guns we would all be a lot better off!

So you would watch your wife's mother starve, or suffer illness because you feel like "sticking to your guns"?

Do you understand that there is no social security to care for the elderly?

Ignoring your partners parents is shameful and irresponsible. I'm sure those that do have lost all respect in the eyes of their spouse.

Any cost incurred is minimal by farang standards, refusing to part with a few bucks to help the elderly or infirm parents of the one you love is just plain cruel.

I for one could not live with myself.

It amazes me people can be so heartless.

[LoveDaBlues]

I just can't see caring enough for someone else's family to give them money.

They didn't earn it. They didn't help me earn it. I didn't know they existed when I earned it. Why should they get it?

I've had my marriage certifcate translated. There's nothing on there about taking care of the family.

My feelings exactly. Good for you Pal. If more of us Stupid Farangs stuck to our guns we would all be a lot better off!

So you would watch your wife's mother starve, or suffer illness because you feel like "sticking to your guns"?

Do you understand that there is no social security to care for the elderly?

Ignoring your partners parents is shameful and irresponsible. I'm sure those that do have lost all respect in the eyes of their spouse.

Any cost incurred is minimal by farang standards, refusing to part with a few bucks to help the elderly or infirm parents of the one you love is just plain cruel.

I for one could not live with myself.

It amazes me people can be so heartless.

pumpuiman - you've got it right. Ignore the negative crapola; almost all of it comes from people that don't even live in Thailand. Most of the posts are trolls anyway; trying to get a nibble.

The funny thing to me is why would someone else care how another person spends his money. I choose to spend money on the in-laws when they are in a bind. Sometimes I spend money on them simple because they are my in-laws. I'd do the same in the states if I were married to a lady there.

If a person wants to sit on a bar stool in Pattaya, BKK, or anywhere else in Thailand and drink his money up day after day that's his business. Who am I to try and tell him how to spend his money? For me I enjoy helping the family live a better life.

Peace all - and feel free to spend your hard-earned money any way you choose; it's your right you earned it.

[torito]

I just can't see caring enough for someone else's family to give them money.

They didn't earn it. They didn't help me earn it. I didn't know they existed when I earned it. Why should they get it?

I've had my marriage certifcate translated. There's nothing on there about taking care of the family.

My feelings exactly. Good for you Pal. If more of us Stupid Farangs stuck to our guns we would all be a lot better off!

So you would watch your wife's mother starve, or suffer illness because you feel like "sticking to your guns"?

Do you understand that there is no social security to care for the elderly?

Ignoring your partners parents is shameful and irresponsible. I'm sure those that do have lost all respect in the eyes of their spouse.

Any cost incurred is minimal by farang standards, refusing to part with a few bucks to help the elderly or infirm parents of the one you love is just plain cruel.

I for one could not live with myself.

It amazes me people can be so heartless.

If this country would have social security and all the wealth that developed countries have, nobody would be in need of your bloody money.....and for sure most of you would not have young and beautiful woman with you.

In your countries you may have a wife and family who do not need financial assistance, but the most likely is that your wife will be your age, probably not as attractive as your thai wifes, and probably you would not have sexual life...

So arrogant and selfish farangs, one thing for another. Most of you always want everything for nothing.

[Maigo6]

.Many friends have said they would rather wank than marry a Thai girl.

So you're friends with a bunch of W#nk#rs ?

Edited May 20, 2007 by Maigo6

[torito]

.Many friends have said they would rather wank than marry a Thai girl.

So you're friends with a bunch of W#nk#rs ?

Advise your friends that there are plenty of lady boys also

[blizzard]

YOU ARE THE FATMAN FATMAN. , this is compliment sir.

the bitter ones and u know who you are, are the ones that think western style when they married thai style.

they just stuck coz of kids or whatever and say others r just trolls . lighten up guys have sum whiskey with uncle somchai

[Maigo6]

It ain't the Thai's that you have to worry about lending money too so much...

It's when a fellow Farang comes asking for money that the alarm bells should start ringing, at least with the Thai's you have a good chance of getting it back. I have lent money to Thai people before, only small ammounts, and have always been repaid, Farangs are a different matter..............

Some Farang friend of mine borrowed 60,000 baht from me, little <deleted> moved and changed his mobile number a week later, his time will come, he done it to many people, not just me, even his own Mother and Brother.

I lent another Farang 20,000 Baht about 10 years ago, I eventually got paid after 2 years.... At least he paid me back though, he went back to the UK and got a real job instead of trying to scrape by in Thailand just to survive.

Anyway, up to you how you deal with your money, some people pizz all their money up the wall, also up to them.

Beware of Farangs on the borrow.

[richard10365]

I just can't see caring enough for someone else's family to give them money.

They didn't earn it. They didn't help me earn it. I didn't know they existed when I earned it. Why should they get it?

I've had my marriage certifcate translated. There's nothing on there about taking care of the family.

My feelings exactly. Good for you Pal. If more of us Stupid Farangs stuck to our guns we would all be a lot better off!

So you would watch your wife's mother starve, or suffer illness because you feel like "sticking to your guns"?

Do you understand that there is no social security to care for the elderly?

Ignoring your partners parents is shameful and irresponsible. I'm sure those that do have lost all respect in the eyes of their spouse.

Any cost incurred is minimal by farang standards, refusing to part with a few bucks to help the elderly or infirm parents of the one you love is just plain cruel.

I for one could not live with myself.

It amazes me people can be so heartless.

pumpuiman - you've got it right. Ignore the negative crapola; almost all of it comes from people that don't even live in Thailand. Most of the posts are trolls anyway; trying to get a nibble.

The funny thing to me is why would someone else care how another person spends his money. I choose to spend money on the in-laws when they are in a bind. Sometimes I spend money on them simple because they are my in-laws. I'd do the same in the states if I were married to a lady there.

If a person wants to sit on a bar stool in Pattaya, BKK, or anywhere else in Thailand and drink his money up day after day that's his business. Who am I to try and tell him how to spend his money? For me I enjoy helping the family live a better life.

Peace all - and feel free to spend your hard-earned money any way you choose; it's your right you earned it.

Don't be stupid. Of course I wouldn't watch her starve. I would move the mom in with me and my wife and let the drunk father fend for himself.

As I posted earlier, if they really needed it, and I believe in the situation to be true, I would help.

Thats my 2 cents as I troll from Chiang Mai.

Edited May 20, 2007 by richard10365

[a2396]

No matter which social class you marry into, the chances are you will be asked outright for money or asked to enter into a "risk free, sure deal". I would like to know what you say or do and how successful you are with your approach.

This is not only a problem with wives, but also girlfriends. It is probably the number one stumbling block to establishing a trusting relationship, because you are never sure if it is based only on money. I have never had one lady, who I was considering for a girlfriend, not ask for some sort of monetary contribution, money, phones, gold, apartments, etc. They seem to think all Farangs are filthy rich, can keep drawing on endless cash reserves. That the Farang might have financil needs of his own never enters thier mind. As for the Farang braggarts who claim they give no money to wives or GF's, I never personally met such a man in my 3 years in LOS.

no money is of course an exaggeration, but contribution to household finances is proportionate to personal income.

I pay the rent, the bills the maid etc, ecause i was doing it before she moved in. she pays for the nanny and the ubc because she wants to contribute and i hate UBC.

I have higher expectations and more expensive needs, so i pay for them. She does very well on her own salary and conributes what she can.

how is that different from any other relationship between "partners" making different amounts of money?

What you are describing is probably a reasonable arrangement. The ones I know have no jobs and little or no interest in working. Have kept a Thai BF on the side and still keep on comming for more. None have been bar girls, except for one former coyote dancer. Needless to say, I have not kept them around for long. I really don't see how they can advance themselves to anything with the idiotic behavior I have seen from them.

[Tod Daniels]

I will note first off; it vexes me greatly to be on the same side of the fence as Maigo6.

Unfortunately the reply is right on the money when it comes to lending to other foreigners (sorry boycotting the word farang this year).

My motto; "Never ever trust a thai and trust the foreigners here even less."

If a foreigner can't afford to live here; go back to where ever you're from and give it another go figuring out how to make enough money to survive in a third world country.

As a response "pumpuiman" made; "you would watch your wife's mother starve". In close to 3 years I have yet to see a single person go hungry in this country. Be it in either in a rural village, of which I've been to many, or here in Bangkok everyone seems to get enough food to live.

"Any cost incurred is minimal by farang standards". That it is big or small money in a first world country is of no value in this discussion. Unless you've not noticed with your rose colored glasses and all;

This ain't Kansas, Toto.

Do all the 'charity work' you want. I'm sure the thais you hand money to are eternally grateful.

[Maigo6]

I will note first off; it vexes me greatly to be on the same side of the fence as Maigo6.

I'm not exactly thrilled with the situation either Todd!

[Heng]

It'd be interesting to hear some anecdotes (whether true or fictional) of those foreigners marrying into well do to families and still being bled dry of the their funds. I know of one case where a local gal from a good family name (albeit she was from the mia noi branch) bled a farang for a bit -divorced him, had an affair with one of the extended branch Shinawatras, and got a riverside condo and car out of the "deal," but really she was just the standard gold digger who happened to have a "good" family name.

[pumpuiman]

I will note first off; it vexes me greatly to be on the same side of the fence as Maigo6.

Unfortunately the reply is right on the money when it comes to lending to other foreigners (sorry boycotting the word farang this year).

My motto; "Never ever trust a thai and trust the foreigners here even less."

If a foreigner can't afford to live here; go back to where ever you're from and give it another go figuring out how to make enough money to survive in a third world country.

As a response "pumpuiman" made; "you would watch your wife's mother starve". In close to 3 years I have yet to see a single person go hungry in this country. Be it in either in a rural village, of which I've been to many, or here in Bangkok everyone seems to get enough food to live.

"Any cost incurred is minimal by farang standards". That it is big or small money in a first world country is of no value in this discussion. Unless you've not noticed with your rose colored glasses and all;

This ain't Kansas, Toto.

Do all the 'charity work' you want. I'm sure the thais you hand money to are eternally grateful.

It's not charity. It's common courtesy extended to my wife's parents.

My mother in law was legally blind. Never asked for help. I volunteered to pay for her visit to an opthamologist, and paid for her glasses. Something they could not afford (food,clothing, electric, water.... matters more)

She can see very well now.

If I stood by and let her go through life blind, how could I look at myself in the mirror?

HOW CAN YOU?

Hunger doesn't exist? You pompous prick. Get off of your barstool and have a look. You've visited many villages? Were you ever invited in to a broken down shack to pay respect to a man dying? His bones protruding through his sallow skin, his elderly wife cleaning the shit from the floor where he lay helpless?

Fukc you and your rose colored glasses comment.

My reference to farang cost being minimal has value. Do farang make more money? If your working for 150 baht a day as a farang......you need to reconsider your career choice.

You sir, are a disgrace....and karma will come around one day. Perhaps you will be lying in your own shit some day, and someone like yourself will be your only hope.

[Austhaied]

I will note first off; it vexes me greatly to be on the same side of the fence as Maigo6.

Unfortunately the reply is right on the money when it comes to lending to other foreigners (sorry boycotting the word farang this year).

My motto; "Never ever trust a thai and trust the foreigners here even less."

If a foreigner can't afford to live here; go back to where ever you're from and give it another go figuring out how to make enough money to survive in a third world country.

As a response "pumpuiman" made; "you would watch your wife's mother starve". In close to 3 years I have yet to see a single person go hungry in this country. Be it in either in a rural village, of which I've been to many, or here in Bangkok everyone seems to get enough food to live.

"Any cost incurred is minimal by farang standards". That it is big or small money in a first world country is of no value in this discussion. Unless you've not noticed with your rose colored glasses and all;

This ain't Kansas, Toto.

Do all the 'charity work' you want. I'm sure the thais you hand money to are eternally grateful.

It's not charity. It's common courtesy extended to my wife's parents.

My mother in law was legally blind. Never asked for help. I volunteered to pay for her visit to an opthamologist, and paid for her glasses. Something they could not afford (food,clothing, electric, water.... matters more)

She can see very well now.

If I stood by and let her go through life blind, how could I look at myself in the mirror?

HOW CAN YOU?

Hunger doesn't exist? You pompous prick. Get off of your barstool and have a look. You've visited many villages? Were you ever invited in to a broken down shack to pay respect to a man dying? His bones protruding through his sallow skin, his elderly wife cleaning the shit from the floor where he lay helpless?

Fukc you and your rose colored glasses comment.

My reference to farang cost being minimal has value. Do farang make more money? If your working for 150 baht a day as a farang......you need to reconsider your career choice.

You sir, are a disgrace....and karma will come around one day. Perhaps you will be lying in your own shit some day, and someone like yourself will be your only hope.

I'll second that..

Jai yen yen pumpui.. just had an op remember..

[blizzard]

maigo has brainwashed some of you gullible types. notice all his post are anti farang, and some of you take it hook line and sinker.

notice how he wont even let a thai more than a modest sum. he know he aint gonna get it back.

[Maizefarmer]

I think many posters are pre-judging Thais. I support my extended family and am respected for it. When I speak the village takes notice.

"When I speak the village takes notice......"

??????????? - oh yer sure.

[qwertz]

I think many posters are pre-judging Thais. I support my extended family and am respected for it. When I speak the village takes notice.

"When I speak the village takes notice......"

??????????? - oh yer sure.

Would this be English or Thai that you speak.?

[Travel2003]

My wife's family has never ever asked for one single Baht.

Guess they found out that I give anyway.

;-)

I told my wife the first time we went up to her folks that I do not accept any "loans", remembering some of my friends give away 1000's and 1000's over the years, and never get it back.

Whenever I give money to make repairs/maintenance on their farm, or sometimes buy an extra cow to them, I insist to see the result on my next visit.

Nothing to be put in the bank, or bought gold for.

They know this is the only way I will give money.

I can say that I really love my wife's (and now mine of course) family, and gladly help out financially.

I once asked my wife why she had so few friends.

She replied that she did not want to have many friends, as most of them were only friends in order to "borrow" money from her (read me).

Furthermore she said, nobody in Thailand would have many close friends anyway, if they did not have a lot of money.

rgds

Sailor

Edited May 20, 2007 by Travel2003

[qwertz]

LOS is not much different from anywhere else if I take this thread as an example.

Isn't it a fact anywhere in the world?

If you make a show of prosperity there'll always be relatives, so called friends and other predators who'll be happy to help you spend it.

[jcgodber]

Correct me if I am wrong but if you were to loan money, that could be construde as being in the lending business. It is against the law for you to be in business.

The gold shop loans money!

the short answer is-

NO!

[BKK03]

No matter which social class you marry into, the chances are you will be asked outright for money or asked to enter into a "risk free, sure deal". I would like to know what you say or do and how successful you are with your approach.

Before I married my Thai wife this same question came up for me. The answer that worked for me was on the forum. We have a $1,000.00 borrowing fund. Any Thai family member can borrow from it. The amount of the available loan is equal to the fund balance. So a $1,000.00 loan can be had if all previous loans have been paid back. If not, then one has to be satisfied with the present balance. Family members catch on to helping others remember to repay their loan. This method has been working very well for the past three years.

[Shah Jahan]

I do my best to turn my wife against her family to show her how they are ignorant and irresponsible and that if she listens to then, she will end up just like them. I use case in point examples where they have been given opportunities and they just fail and lie and never achieve anything. that all being said, if a family member wants something and if I even hear the slightest wink about it, the answer is a raging NONONO. So if one of the leechers want something, my wife knows not even to ask and has to decide whether to draw from her own limited bank account, which is also there for her to take care of our new baby. so she knows if she loans uncle keykait 4000 baht so he can buy a machate, then the baby may not have food or clothes.

on the other hand, i have been very selectively generous with my wifes family, building the parents a new house (i paid to have it built, not just gave them a lump sum to waste away) and putting a few of the sisters kids though school, (only the cute ones who listen to me and help out around the house.)

In thailand the home is the mans kingdom and if you dont claim this right, then you are doomed.

[Jet Gorgon]

Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no. Just say no.

Have you tried just saying no???

Yep. NO.

[jayjayjayjay]

No matter which social class you marry into, the chances are you will be asked outright for money or asked to enter into a "risk free, sure deal". I would like to know what you say or do and how successful you are with your approach.

Before I married my Thai wife this same question came up for me. The answer that worked for me was on the forum. We have a $1,000.00 borrowing fund. Any Thai family member can borrow from it. The amount of the available loan is equal to the fund balance. So a $1,000.00 loan can be had if all previous loans have been paid back. If not, then one has to be satisfied with the present balance. Family members catch on to helping others remember to repay their loan. This method has been working very well for the past three years.

Probably the smartest way I have heard of dealing with this situation. Pundits will say No is the only answer, but, well, different people for different strokes. I personally don't give loans, that's not to say I have not given money. For me, a loan will never be repaid, so I might give a little here, a little there, but my expectation is that it will never be returned. The above appears to have built into it a mechanism to promote group pressure from within the family unit. BKK03, clever.......