You know you're old when..............

[Will B Good]

22 minutes ago, Fairynuff said:

You must’ve been in a terrible state in your 30s then ????

Hahaha....90kg, now down to 74kg....so you are correct.

[JAS21]

When she has to lift you on and afterwards lift you off…..

[Thingamabob]

21 hours ago, OneeyedJohn said:

Will my pets outlive me?

 

Aged 80, feeling fine, my only worry is my cats and dogs. Got to try to outlive them somehow.

[siftasam]

When you have to sit down to put on your socks.

 

When your short term friend looks down and says "Finished? Is that all?"

 

When you need three hands to undo her bra (and you need the bra more than she does)'

 

When you tell her you prefer a Yul Brynner 'hairstyle' (!) and she doesn't know who the hell you're talking about.

 

When you have to put on your granny glasses to read her tattoos.

 

When you get your feet caught in your braces and can't stand up.

 

When you leave without paying her and she chases you down the street - HURRAH! there are still women who run after me!

[NoshowJones]

23 hours ago, pgrahmm said:

You can remember hearing this song.....

Where is the melody in this song? The voice sounds like a typical singer taking part in a pub sing song. Listen to the difference when you hear Elvis or Roy Orbison, you get a good original singing voice, with a melody that you can make out rather than just words coming out of someone's mouth.

[NoshowJones]

20 hours ago, KarenBravo said:

When you make a conscious effort to look younger. Hair dye, white trousers, loud shirts and a new found love for moisterizer.

I agree with the loud shirts part if you are referring to these Hawiian ones, they are typical of what the overweight big bellied guys wear.

[VocalNeal]

2 hours ago, Surasak said:

I hope you feel the same way in 15 years time????

Sadly no chance. Someone told me it all goes downhill at 70!

[VocalNeal]

11 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

I agree with the loud shirts part if you are referring to these Hawiian ones, they are typical of what the overweight big bellied guys wear.

Those loud shirts are called "happy shirts". In Indonesia casual Friday is called Batik Friday.

[GreasyFingers]

[siftasam]

re 'possum1931'

 

Hello possum! (OMG I'm sounding like Dame Edna Everage! - although I look more like Sir Les Patterson)

 

Sinatra, like Bing Crosby, Perry Como, Dick Haymes etc. of that period, was basically a 'crooner'. Today they sound very bland but that was the popular style up to around 1960. 'The Perry Como Show' was tremendously popular on UK TV. Michael Holiday, Dennis Lotus and Dickie Valentine were popular British crooners.

 

Then it changed - pre-Beatles. More and more, Country, Blues and Jazz influenced popular song in the USA. Elvis and Roy, as you know, were Southern boys deeply influenced by the Country/Blues heritage. (Remember George Clooney and the Soggy Bottom Boys in  'O Brother, Where Art Thou?' - funny!)

 

Contentious, maybe, but I think jazz influenced popular singing a lot back then. A pleasant and simple song called 'Make Someone Happy' was crooned on record, usually very boringly - although there was a very skilful and pleasant rendition by Margaret Whiting, BUT WHOA! Della Reese, even getting on in years, transformed it! It sends a tingle down my spine. Della was born in Black Bottom, Detroit, and can't you just tell! (It's on YouTube)

[QPRFC]

Involuntary groan noises whenever you sit down or get up

[sipi]

When someone with grey hair calls you "an old basstard".

Yes, that has happened.

[sipi]

When your see a familiar face and say "I think I used to date your daughter"

And she replies "That was me"

And yes, that has also happened.

[KarenBravo]

20 hours ago, starky said:

Got news for you 63 is ooooooold. Sugar coat it however you want come up with whatever makes you feel good bit 63 is fxxxng ancient . Sorry.

Oh dear........a young 'un who has yet to learn how to present the bait more naturally and with subtlety.

 

It's at times like these that I remember the quote "Growing old isn't so bad once you've considered the alternative".

[Stevemercer]

On 9/15/2021 at 2:43 PM, OneeyedJohn said:

Will my pets outlive me?

 

Hmm. I have 4 pet tortoises born about 7 years ago. The average tortoise life span is 80 years and I am 62. 

[mrfill]

On 9/15/2021 at 9:32 AM, toofarnorth said:

And then you need a tape recorder to remind you what you went up the stair lift for.

When you can still remember what a tape recorder is...

[The Deerhunter]

When you tell people you're 43 but with 30 years experience. Oh and the moisturiser thing too. see post about 20 above.......

[actonion]

5 hours ago, Lucky dog said:

When you eat your desert first.

 

my dad just pasted away at 94 and had a girlfriend and they had sex twice a week.

 

my hero

Mine too

[starky]

1 hour ago, KarenBravo said:

Oh dear........a young 'un who has yet to learn how to present the bait more naturally and with subtlety.

 

It's at times like these that I remember the quote "Growing old isn't so bad once you've considered the alternative".

Na just stirring the pot and hardly a young 'un there grandad lol ???? im ageing quite gracefully thanks very much and totally enjoying the ride not pretending I could still compete with me in my 20s.

 And speaking of the alternative who wants to be 100? Well the bloke who is 99 for one. There's a dad joke you can have.

Edited September 16, 2021 by starky

[pgrahmm]

You've been driving for hours & your first few steps away from the car are barking at you.....

Edited September 16, 2021 by pgrahmm

[toofarnorth]

19 hours ago, PJPom said:

When a light bulb goes out in the ceiling light and you get a table and a chair on top, look at it and seriously wonder if you should. I have considered myself super fit for years but all of a sudden I have started considering the risks, I must be getting old !.

Similar.  I arrived here when I was 58 , for years I was a window cleaner , I could climb up the ladder , stand on a wall then haul the ladder up, put it down the other side ...then return.  Now at 74 I get worried climbing 4ft up steps to clean a ceiling light.

[pgrahmm]

3 minutes ago, toofarnorth said:

Similar.  I arrived here when I was 58 , for years I was a window cleaner , I could climb up the ladder , stand on a wall then haul the ladder up, put it down the other side ...then return.  Now at 74 I get worried climbing 4ft up steps to clean a ceiling light.

Good reminder....

When I have to go up a ladder, the first thought is "I'm too old for this sh!t"......

That's about the only time that phrase announces itself....

[toofarnorth]

8 hours ago, blazes said:

when even 100mg of Viagra will not do it any more.....

 

 

Vegi mite.   As my ma mite say.

[toofarnorth]

8 hours ago, kwak250 said:

When you make a cup of coffee but end up pouring boiling water in the Jam jar by mistake

Yep that time has arrived. I put the tea caddy in the fridge and left the milk out .

[toofarnorth]

8 hours ago, chicowoodduck said:

You are an old fart and still think you are the sexy man......and, when you bend over to cut a big fart and <deleted> in your pants.....and you are BALD on top but still think it is cool to have a ponytail.....????????

Close but I thought belly buttons were for holding salt for the chips.

[toofarnorth]

3 hours ago, possum1931 said:

Where is the melody in this song? The voice sounds like a typical singer taking part in a pub sing song. Listen to the difference when you hear Elvis or Roy Orbison, you get a good original singing voice, with a melody that you can make out rather than just words coming out of someone's mouth.

I agree , even my dad about 100 years ago agreed.  Hardly a patch on Andy Williams.

[toofarnorth]

1 hour ago, KarenBravo said:

Oh dear........a young 'un who has yet to learn how to present the bait more naturally and with subtlety.

 

It's at times like these that I remember the quote "Growing old isn't so bad once you've considered the alternative".

Growing old........................................ That was Maurice Chevalier. How do I know. When I became 65 several years ago my brother sent me a book called ' Old Git Wit '. One from ......page 33  ' I go slower as time goes faster '.

[toofarnorth]

7 hours ago, CharlieH said:

When you start paying people to do what you woukd have once did yourself.

Not sure where this is going .            Oh , who did I say that to years ago ?

[vinci]

when you get pelvis cramps while having sex

Edited September 16, 2021 by vinci

[KarenBravo]

5 minutes ago, vinci said:

when you get pelvis cramps while having sex

I thought it was when you ejaculate dust.........