Why did you marry? And maybe why did you do it again?

[BonMot]

6 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

You know what women are called who are paid for their company...

Think back to not only the 1960s but even the 1970s in the West. It was not uncommon for the husband alone and only himself to be working while the wife stayed at home took care of the home and the children.

 

While wives did not receive salaries you can bet that all of their expenses were paid within the family budget and there was no debating any of it.

[BonMot]

53 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And they lived happily ever after. Sure, all is fine.

 

But have you ever heard the stories that he paid for the property and it was in her name and then she told him to f@$ off? It seems in Thailand that happens often enough. 

If guys want to give millions in cash or property to their gf or wife then that is fine.

But those guys should realize that then it's the money or property of their wife.

They, the guys, don't own it.

This has nothing to do with the original post.

 

You are not incorrect here but why do you continue to go on about it?

[OneMoreFarang]

4 minutes ago, BonMot said:

If you take a decent hard working woman away from her job it's only fair to compensate her. There are many retired guys that have some sort of need to have a woman about day in and day out. I am certainly not one of these individuals. In fact when we met I moved up to Bangkok so that my wife could continue working.

 

All I can tell you if I was that woman and my new husband wanted to take me away from decent job which are extremely hard to get to cook and clean and screw him and didn't want to compensate me - I would assume that I wasn't loved or valued.

That is why guys have a pay bar fines when they take out the dancers.

[The Hammer2021]

Most Western men are soft, entitled and privliged and pretty stupid. Most thai girls are tough and smart and having known poverty they work hard for themselves and their family.

[OneMoreFarang]

3 minutes ago, KIngsofisaan said:

You seem hellbent on contract for some strange, odd reason.

 

I guess you don't want your partner to have any benefits a contract could offer her, like dual citizenship, inheriting finances/benefits, so in the event of your demise, YOUR kid could move west and get a first class education. Who is going to look after that kid after you die? Not looking out for anyone's well being except yourself. Then men wonder why this selfish behavior crators into divorce.

 

Contract meaning you fear losing some worthless piece of land that isn't even in your own name, has squat for appreciation and will be near impossible to resell and cash in, no matter what happens with your relationship

 

Your phobia of loosing has you incapable of winning

Who are you talking about? Certainly not me.

I don't have children and my condo is in my name (only).

Why would I even think about buying a worthless piece of land (which can't be legally in my name)?

[BritManToo]

16 minutes ago, KIngsofisaan said:

Well the response is from all the folks that got divorced, what exactly did you expect?

I didn't expect my Brit wife of 30 years to start banging other guys and chuck me out. 

[OneMoreFarang]

Just now, BritManToo said:

I didn't expect my Brit wife of 30 years to start banging other guys and chuck me out. 

Hey, you should have known that will happen before you married her. Or at least that is what some marriage experts here want to tell us. How could you not see what will happen in the future? It must be your fault. ???? 

[KIngsofisaan]

28 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It seems some people prefer to see the world like they want to see it and not like it is.

Personally I try to see how it is - even if I don't like it.

At least then I can learn from other peoples' mistakes. 

How can you learn anything from people on a forum you don't even know?

 

Did you consult them or do you consult them before every relationship?

 

My god man, you are a grown man, you should have learned all you needed to learn on your own by now.

 

 

[G Rex]

I married because I am ‘old school’ & happy to show my ‘commitment’ to my union.

3 times!!

First - English wife - 7 years together.  Possibly 6 happy months together!  I did not know what PMT was until I met my second wife.  It seemed the first one had it constantly.

 

Subsequent marriages - “ A Triumph Of Hope Over Commonsense” - as a friend told me.

Second - Aussie wife - 20 happy years - unfortunately she cashed in her chips too early…

Current - (future ex?   - just kidding!) - Thai wife - Much younger than me.  Marriage was a sign of commitment to each other. It makes us & our family feel better connected….

 

[BonMot]

3 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

That is why guys have a pay bar fines when they take out the dancers.

False equivalency.

 

Utterly lame.

 

You already bought your condo. You have nothing to lose by marrying your gf. Gain a visa for 400k. Maybe you know...make HER happy...????????????

[darksidedog]

There is a fair amount of off topic bickering including comments of a personal nature.

A post violating forum rules has been reported and removed.

A lot more will follow if you don't stick to the topic.

 

9. You will not post disruptive or inflammatory messages. You will respect other members and post in a civil manner. Personal attacks, insults or hate speech posted on the forum or sent by private message are not allowed.

 

10. You will not post troll messages. Trolling is the act of purposefully antagonizing forum members by posting controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages with the primary intent of provoking other members into an emotional response or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.

Edit: Another post by the same person has also been removed. Stop it now, or face a posting holiday. Last warning for all concerned.

[OneMoreFarang]

Just now, KIngsofisaan said:

How can you learn anything from people on a forum you don't even know?

Personally I think we can all learn from other peoples' experience.

Obviously we don't have to believe everything everybody tell us or writes in this forum.

 

But I am sure lots of people out there who discover this forum maybe a year after they arrived in Thailand think to themselves: I should have read this a year ago... 

[BritManToo]

9 minutes ago, KIngsofisaan said:

guess you don't want your partner to have any benefits a contract could offer her, like dual citizenship, inheriting finances/benefits, so in the event of your demise, YOUR kid could move west and get a first class education. Who is going to look after that kid after you die? Not looking out for anyone's well being except yourself. Then men wonder why this selfish behavior crators into divorce.

My woman gets the benefits of a 7-11 wage, transport and accommodation without having to work for it, and no beatings. Free High school and university education as well. Which is a lot better than she got before me. If she wants more she could always get a job like I had to do. 

[BonMot]

15 minutes ago, KIngsofisaan said:

seem hellbent on contract for some strange, odd reason.

The adage the price of everything and the value of nothing springs to mind.

[KIngsofisaan]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

My woman gets the benefits of a 7-11 wage, transport and accommodation without having to work for it, and no beatings. Free High school and university education as well. Which is a lot better than she got before me. If she wants more she could always get a job like I had to do. 

You are doing a good job

[BonMot]

3 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I think we can all learn from other peoples' experience.

Really? It seems like you are entirely closed to being married.

 

To be honest, I wouldn't marry over 55 either. But I would see my gf is compensated. I'd also never feel entirely comfortable her not leaving me or screwing around.

[BonMot]

6 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

My woman gets the benefits of a 7-11 wage, transport and accommodation without having to work for it, and no beatings. Free High school and university education as well. Which is a lot better than she got before me. If she wants more she could always get a job like I had to do. 

Fair enough. This is exactly what I had commented on earlier.

 

I'm sure if attractive she has opportunities for sidegigs.

[xtrnuno41]

I really wouldnt know. When i was way younger, you start a family.

It is all complete than as family, wife, kids in mariage

Until my wife changed her mind, finished. No matter kids, no matter you had, in my eyes, good life. Nope, finished. Just a pop in the brain.

I thought what is wrong with me, you doubt yourself.

I found out, I wasnt the only one having these experiences, so felt a bit relieved. However no more full time dad anymore and you deal with indoctrination of your kids by %&%$^& then.

Looking back, it wasnt worth a thing. Being married and/or having kids.

I regret it.

 

Again im not the only one. There is even a group in in "my" country, called "foolish fathers". Yup all divorced and thrown away as being a father. Fighting for some rights to see their kid(s). And mostly as mummy had decided for that divorce.

I was 32 yo then and many of those men were in that same age of divorcing.

I call it therefor "midlife " crisis of women.

My sis was a true Christian from young age, all was god in her family.

I thought she never would divorce. Wrong, at age 52 she divorced from god and her husband, after 34 years of mariage and 39 years of god.

 

Mariage? Its just a contract and mostly working for the woman.

Maybe i should have sued her for breaking that contract, for "millions".

Instead of the other way around. Didnt think it about that then.

I would recommend any guy NOT to marry. And if you still want, take care of divorce FIRST. 

 

10 years later, stupidly enough, married again, but already plan on divorcing, prenups.      

That mariage was a real big mistake, woman with a really hidden agenda, i found out. But ok s**t happens. Women can hide very well, is my experience.

Until they show some or on purpose break open and then it is most of the time, the end.

For now, for the rest of my life, no more mariage and be aware even more.  

I seem to be "very lucky" with women, NOT. 

It doesnt matter how good you are as partner, husband or friend, when the women's brain pop, you are done.

[KIngsofisaan]

9 minutes ago, xtrnuno41 said:

I really wouldnt know. When i was way younger, you start a family.

It is all complete than as family, wife, kids in mariage

Until my wife changed her mind, finished. No matter kids, no matter you had, in my eyes, good life. Nope, finished. Just a pop in the brain.

I thought what is wrong with me, you doubt yourself.

I found out, I wasnt the only one having these experiences, so felt a bit relieved. However no more full time dad anymore and you deal with indoctrination of your kids by %&%$^& then.

Looking back, it wasnt worth a thing. Being married and/or having kids.

I regret it.

 

Again im not the only one. There is even a group in in "my" country, called "foolish fathers". Yup all divorced and thrown away as being a father. Fighting for some rights to see their kid(s). And mostly as mummy had decided for that divorce.

I was 32 yo then and many of those men were in that same age of divorcing.

I call it therefor "midlife " crisis of women.

My sis was a true Christian from young age, all was god in her family.

I thought she never would divorce. Wrong, at age 52 she divorced from god and her husband, after 34 years of mariage and 39 years of god.

 

Mariage? Its just a contract and mostly working for the woman.

Maybe i should have sued her for breaking that contract, for "millions".

Instead of the other way around. Didnt think it about that then.

I would recommend any guy NOT to marry. And if you still want, take care of divorce FIRST. 

 

10 years later, stupidly enough, married again, but already plan on divorcing, prenups.      

That mariage was a real big mistake, woman with a really hidden agenda, i found out. But ok s**t happens. Women can hide very well, is my experience.

Until they show some or on purpose break open and then it is most of the time, the end.

For now, for the rest of my life, no more mariage and be aware even more.  

I seem to be "very lucky" with women, NOT. 

It doesnt matter how good you are as partner, husband or friend, when the women's brain pop, you are done.

You are also a common denonimator in your marriages NOT working

 

Perhaps you need to evaluate your OWN choices better?

 

 

 

 

[BonMot]

10 minutes ago, xtrnuno41 said:

I really wouldnt know. When i was way younger, you start a family.

It is all complete than as family, wife, kids in mariage

Until my wife changed her mind, finished. No matter kids, no matter you had, in my eyes, good life. Nope, finished. Just a pop in the brain.

I thought what is wrong with me, you doubt yourself.

I found out, I wasnt the only one having these experiences, so felt a bit relieved. However no more full time dad anymore and you deal with indoctrination of your kids by %&%$^& then.

Looking back, it wasnt worth a thing. Being married and/or having kids.

I regret it.

 

Again im not the only one. There is even a group in in "my" country, called "foolish fathers". Yup all divorced and thrown away as being a father. Fighting for some rights to see their kid(s). And mostly as mummy had decided for that divorce.

I was 32 yo then and many of those men were in that same age of divorcing.

I call it therefor "midlife " crisis of women.

My sis was a true Christian from young age, all was god in her family.

I thought she never would divorce. Wrong, at age 52 she divorced from god and her husband, after 34 years of mariage and 39 years of god.

 

Mariage? Its just a contract and mostly working for the woman.

Maybe i should have sued her for breaking that contract, for "millions".

Instead of the other way around. Didnt think it about that then.

I would recommend any guy NOT to marry. And if you still want, take care of divorce FIRST. 

 

10 years later, stupidly enough, married again, but already plan on divorcing, prenups.      

That mariage was a real big mistake, woman with a really hidden agenda, i found out. But ok s**t happens. Women can hide very well, is my experience.

Until they show some or on purpose break open and then it is most of the time, the end.

For now, for the rest of my life, no more mariage and be aware even more.  

I seem to be "very lucky" with women, NOT. 

It doesnt matter how good you are as partner, husband or friend, when the women's brain pop, you are done.

Yeah, well marrying any woman in the west no matter what race is folly.

 

Men no longer control their destinies.

 

In fact, I think it pure stupidity to even live in what we know as western, developed countries.

 

I saw the writing on the wall and bailed out decades ago.

[KIngsofisaan]

14 minutes ago, BonMot said:

Yeah, well marrying any woman in the west no matter what race is folly.

 

Men no longer control their destinies.

 

In fact, I think it pure stupidity to even live in what we know as western, developed countries.

 

I saw the writing on the wall and bailed out decades ago.

My younger brother has been married to his highschool girlfriend for 45 years

 

Doesn't sound like much of a folly to me

[JetsetBkk]

35 minutes ago, KIngsofisaan said:

My younger brother has been married to his highschool girlfriend for 45 years

 

Doesn't sound like much of a folly to me

Lucky b*gger! I lost my childhood girlfriend when she went to university and I went to the local polytechnic.

 

[KIngsofisaan]

25 minutes ago, JetsetBkk said:

Lucky b*gger! I lost my childhood girlfriend when she went to university and I went to the local polytechnic.

 

You are lucky to still have the photo!

[swissie]

Possibly of interest to guys aiming for the "until death do us part" concept.

Look at old foto albums, displaying 23 year old girls and see how they look today at the age of 65. Also, these days, software is available that projects a young face how it will look at 65 years old. Especially for woman, the result is (mostly) nothing short of frightening. At this age, everything that included former "womanhood" is just gone.

The revenge of the pink panther (evolution)? Young women have magic powers over young men. With increasing age, a shift in favor of men seems to take place. Especially if the man's second sexual organ (his wallet) is still intact.

There must be a reason, that "intact" elderly men are tempted to exchange their old woman for a newer "model", her still displaying the entire range of "womanhood" as opposed to the old woman at home.

Time is not on the side of young women. Time is a great "equaliser".

- Only some food for thaught for males (still) envisioning a long term concept based on something like "until death do us part".  For all others, this is (was) never an issue.

 

[rumak]

Man,  I feel like I'm in the audience of the Jerry Springer show .   Especially love the tales which include the little "i have wealth"  tidbits.    

 

Hey, but i can chip in.  Why not?   Every guy here has a unique situation ,  some married to the same gal for 20 years .   Some on their 3rd or 4th.   

 

I lived with a number of ladies.   Always seemed just the same as when a new person is hired for a work position .   All vim and vigor .  Trying to impress.   And then it goes downnnnn hill.  Little by little or at warp speed.   Finally i had to let them go .   The more "employees"  i hired, and the better I got at seeing the red flags..... well,  i thought it impossible that anyone would last .

 

The latest employee is gradually working her way up . She has turned out Better than I could imagine.  Almost reaching partner status (minority   lol)  .   Its a good thing because i am really getting close to my expiration date.

I think i will marry her.        A few days before that date.   

 

 

Edited August 2, 2022 by rumak

[BonMot]

4 hours ago, KIngsofisaan said:

My younger brother has been married to his highschool girlfriend for 45 years

 

Doesn't sound like much of a folly to me

My parents were married 63 years. Different people, From a different era.

 

Exceptions that prove a rule. Notice you posted one example not ten.

Edited August 2, 2022 by BonMot

[KhunLA]

3 minutes ago, BonMot said:

My parents were married 63 years. Different people, different mindset.

 

Exceptions that prove a rule. Noticed you posted one example not ten.

Divorces weren't really 'popular' till 70s.  Other side of the coin, living together (unmarried) wasn't popular till the 60s.

 

My parents were married for over 50 yrs, till death did they part.

2 brothers have been married for 50 & 45 yrs.

Other brother on his 3rd (1 died), and myself on #4, along with 2 lives in of a few years each.  Present wife, 16 yrs living together, 8+ of married.

 

More than a few friends breaking the 30 + 40 yrs married, first & only.

Though most actually getting married, half do end in divorce, or so we read.

[BonMot]

3 hours ago, swissie said:

Possibly of interest to guys aiming for the "until death do us part" concept.

Look at old foto albums, displaying 23 year old girls and see how they look today at the age of 65. Also, these days, software is available that projects a young face how it will look at 65 years old. Especially for woman, the result is (mostly) nothing short of frightening. At this age, everything that included former "womanhood" is just gone.

The revenge of the pink panther (evolution)? Young women have magic powers over young men. With increasing age, a shift in favor of men seems to take place. Especially if the man's second sexual organ (his wallet) is still intact.

There must be a reason, that "intact" elderly men are tempted to exchange their old woman for a newer "model", her still displaying the entire range of "womanhood" as opposed to the old woman at home.

Time is not on the side of young women. Time is a great "equaliser".

- Only some food for thaught for males (still) envisioning a long term concept based on something like "until death do us part".  For all others, this is (was) never an issue.

 

This is absolutely true. That's why you marry an attractive woman 15 years younger.

 

With this mindset you will just rent by the hour your life. This has its place but it's shallow and the sex is usually uneventful.

 

You'll never have anyone that will have any concern for you, nor you anyone else. You might have mates back home but here that is a lonely world fine in your 60s maybe.

 

If I didn't meet my wife I'd probably not be married. I don't need lots of friends or socializing but at 50 (20 yrs in Asia) out here I was feeling not lonely but alone. Now, 30 yrs in Asia I'm happy I have my wife

 

Sex drive drops off for most men in 70s anyway. Well, those that are not here trying to relive a sexual youth they never had with daily doses of kamagra, testosterone injections, tattoos.

 

I'm sure you're another Brad Pitt...but hey, he's looking old and fat lately too. Time is hell on all of us except apparently you.

[thaibeachlovers]

13 hours ago, bolt said:

For me and i mean this is for me, when i got married it showed to the general public that i was settling down, making a commitment. 

its as simple as that, if you're suspicious about infidelity or you want to sleep around go for it.

 

To me being married reinforces your commitment to NOT walk away when something goes wrong.

 

running way doesn't help

None of that works for about 50% of married people, given the divorce rate. It's certainly never stopped people having sex on the side.

 

Would anyone buy a new car if there was a 50% chance it would break down and be unfix able within a few years?

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, BonMot said:

My parents were married 63 years. Different people, From a different era.

 

Exceptions that prove a rule. Notice you posted one example not ten.

Out of all the people I know that got married, only two couples didn't get divorced.