Sin sod - Lao girl

[bbi1]

Roughly, how much money and/or gold is usual for sin sod to a Lao girl's family?

 

Is the sin sod for marrying a Lao girl similar or less than for a Thai girl or the equivilant?

 

What factors influence how much sin sod is given?

 

Let's say a Lao girl is in her early 30s, never married, no baby, finished high school, is the only girl in the family, comes from a poor family, has had sexual relations with a few different men before in Laos and Thailand. How much would be expected for the sin sod?

 

The problem is, many of her extended family have married rich Chinese businessmen (well, not really married but only in the village) who need to marry a Lao person so they can do business in Laos. Those Chinese people apparently pay big sin sod because they need a Lao woman so they can conduct business in Laos. But she has never had any interest in marrying any Chinese.

Edited May 7, 2023 by bbi1

[ezzra]

Hard to tell really, from your description she lady doesn't sound like much (with all due respect of course) so the sin sod shouldn't be much, the question is what is YOUR idea of the amount and can you afford it?

[FriendlyFarang]

10 minutes ago, bbi1 said:

Let's say a Lao girl is in her early 30s, never married, no baby, finished high school, is the only girl in the family, comes from a poor family, has had sexual relations with a few different men before in Laos and Thailand. How much would be expected for the sin sod?

What else does she bring to the table?

What's her monthly income? Does she have a house or land? A car?

If the answer to all of this is "none", then maybe 50k? 100k if you want to be generous.

But taking into account that you are most likely a Farang, she (or her family...) will probably tell you that you have to pay at least 1 million, which is of course nuts.

 

Here a similar topic from my experience (still not married):

 

Edited May 7, 2023 by FriendlyFarang

[BritManToo]

9 minutes ago, bbi1 said:

Let's say a Lao girl is in her early 30s, never married, no baby, finished high school, is the only girl in the family, comes from a poor family, has had sexual relations with a few different men before in Laos and Thailand. How much would be expected for the sin sod?

Didn't think it was possible for a white foreigner to marry a Laos girl.

Many difficult hoops to jump.

 

Better to see if you CAN marry her before you discuss money.

[Ralf001]

2 minutes ago, FriendlyFarang said:

What else does she bring to the table?

What's her monthly income? Does she have a house or land? A car?

If the answer to all of this is "none", then maybe 50k? 100k if you want to be generous.

But taking into account that you are most likely a Farang, she (or her family...) will probably tell you that you have to pay at least 1 million, which is of course nuts.

1 million is like $60.00 USD !!

[bbi1]

20 minutes ago, ezzra said:

Hard to tell really, from your description she lady doesn't sound like much (with all due respect of course) so the sin sod shouldn't be much, the question is what is YOUR idea of the amount and can you afford it?

I agree it shouldn't be much but not sure what is considered appropriate in Laos. She is talking about that she's the only daughter and once married she has to take care of me and our baby (when we have one) forever. She won't be able to take care of her parents like in the past and won't be able to go back there to look after them when they're older, like her plans prior to meeting me.

 

17 minutes ago, FriendlyFarang said:

What else does she bring to the table?

What's her monthly income? Does she have a house or land? A car?

If the answer to all of this is "none", then maybe 50k? 100k if you want to be generous.

But taking into account that you are most likely a Farang, she (or her family...) will probably tell you that you have to pay at least 1 million, which is of course nuts.

 

Here a similar topic from my experience (still not married):

 

She does look after me very, very well in every aspect of my life. She has her own business (basically a job as she's only the one working for it) here in Thaiand. This is something she will sell after we get married. She owns 2 parcels of land somewhere in Laos, which will be passed down to the kids, if she ends up having them.

Edited May 7, 2023 by bbi1

[Lacessit]

8 minutes ago, Ralf001 said:

1 million is like $60.00 USD !!

She is in Thailand, and probably talking in terms of Thai baht.

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Didn't think it was possible for a white foreigner to marry a Laos girl.

Many difficult hoops to jump.

 

Better to see if you CAN marry her before you discuss money.

Here's a link for you to read ..........

https://www.laoslife.info/marriage-in-laos/#:~:text=Marriage in Laos for Foreigners&text=Actually getting married to a,of local and provincial authorities.

[bbi1]

12 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Didn't think it was possible for a white foreigner to marry a Laos girl.

Many difficult hoops to jump.

 

Better to see if you CAN marry her before you discuss money.

Apparently someone in her extended family married a well-off Thai person, but it took over a year for the whole process from start to finish (marriage certificate) and about 120,000 baht in costs/bribes to the different government officials.

[Celsius]

Married 3 times in Thailand. All women had no children, university and MBA educated. Never paid this "sinsod".

 

 

[bbi1]

15 minutes ago, FriendlyFarang said:

What else does she bring to the table?

What's her monthly income? Does she have a house or land? A car?

If the answer to all of this is "none", then maybe 50k? 100k if you want to be generous.

But taking into account that you are most likely a Farang, she (or her family...) will probably tell you that you have to pay at least 1 million, which is of course nuts.

 

Here a similar topic from my experience (still not married):

 

Actually, she told me it's something near 500,000 baht and 5 baht in gold, which I think it's too much. She thinks it's better that we don't marry so I don't need to spend so much.

[bbi1]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Here's a link for you to read ..........

https://www.laoslife.info/marriage-in-laos/#:~:text=Marriage in Laos for Foreigners&text=Actually getting married to a,of local and provincial authorities.

Is it really possible to marry in Thailand as that link suggests? I've read before that it was not possible to do this.

 

A common way around this problem is for the Lao person to marry with a foreigner in another country such as Thailand where the rules are less strict.

[BritManToo]

10 minutes ago, bbi1 said:

Is it really possible to marry in Thailand as that link suggests? I've read before that it was not possible to do this.

 

A common way around this problem is for the Lao person to marry with a foreigner in another country such as Thailand where the rules are less strict.

Permission of freedom to marry (required for Thai marriage) from the Laos consulate/Embassy wouldn't be granted. But apparently they could get married in Hong Kong, but it wouldn't be legit in Laos, so the man would never be able to enter that country without risking arrest.

Edited May 7, 2023 by BritManToo

[NextG]

21 minutes ago, Celsius said:

Married 3 times in Thailand. All women had no children, university and MBA educated. Never paid this "sinsod".

 

 

Three times ????

[Will B Good]

I guess it depends on how big a wedding you want.......that's basically what the money is for.

 

I didn't want a wedding, so I paid zip......I'm from Yorkshire.

[NextG]

27 minutes ago, bbi1 said:

Actually, she told me it's something near 500,000 baht and 5 baht in gold, which I think it's too much. She thinks it's better that we don't marry so I don't need to spend so much.

Run away…..

 

https://thethaiger.com/news/national/i-still-love-her-laos-women-marries-thai-man-then-runs-away-with-the-dowry

[brewsterbudgen]

I married a Lao girl (2016) and didn't pay sinsod.  Seems very old fashioned. 

[NextG]

“The wedding preparations start with the sou khor (bride-price negotiation) procession. The bride-price is usually money and gold, but it can be anything valuable. Traditionally this is asked by the bride's parents as a refund for the breast milk that has been fed to the bride since she was born (literally translated from Lao). How much? depends on the family social status of both sides. Nowadays many parents don't ask for anything as long as their daughter is happy. Once the small baci is finished, a convoy of the groom is sent ahead to give the bride-price to the bride’s parents. The bride-price could be gold or money”

 

https://factsanddetails.com/southeast-asia/Laos/sub5_3b/entry-2953.html#chapter-4

 

 

[NextG]

Where did you meet yours?

Edited May 7, 2023 by Pink Mist
Reply to removed post

[grain]

Depends what sort of wedding you intend having. If you're going to the amphur and doing the marriage registration only then forget about sin sot. If you plan on having a big wedding party in the village then face is tied in with the sin sot. You could say you are not paying sin sot, but you will be paying for the wedding party, then for the sake of face you can put up a stack of bills to show, are we talking THB here? if so maybe 100K THB up for show BUT you get it back at the end. I did this 25 years ago when I married a Lao gal in rural Udorn Thani. She'd been married before, had a couple of kids. I talked with some Thai friends and they advised me that she no longer qualified for sin sot. But for the sake of her and her family's face I put up about 50K Bt for show. And I got it all back after. Also at the village wedding everyone came forward and tied money around our wrists, it's like wedding gifts and to repay me for what I spent on the wedding party. My wife's mum collected all the money off our wrists and thought she was going to keep it, but I told her to get knotted, it's mine. ????

[brewsterbudgen]

7 minutes ago, NextG said:

Where did you meet yours?

Pattaya.

[brewsterbudgen]

8 minutes ago, NextG said:

“The wedding preparations start with the sou khor (bride-price negotiation) procession. The bride-price is usually money and gold, but it can be anything valuable. Traditionally this is asked by the bride's parents as a refund for the breast milk that has been fed to the bride since she was born (literally translated from Lao). How much? depends on the family social status of both sides. Nowadays many parents don't ask for anything as long as their daughter is happy. Once the small baci is finished, a convoy of the groom is sent ahead to give the bride-price to the bride’s parents. The bride-price could be gold or money”

 

https://factsanddetails.com/southeast-asia/Laos/sub5_3b/entry-2953.html#chapter-4

 

 

Indeed.  It's a rather outdated tradition these days.

[KhaoNiaw]

1 hour ago, bbi1 said:

Is it really possible to marry in Thailand as that link suggests? I've read before that it was not possible to do this.

 

A common way around this problem is for the Lao person to marry with a foreigner in another country such as Thailand where the rules are less strict.

You can get married legally in Thailand. But you still need to go through a lot of the hoops in Laos to get the necessary documents. The video here is a Lao woman talking about the process she went through to marry in Thailand to a French national (language is a Thai/Lao mix).
If you marry abroad but want a marriage that will be legal in Laos, you also need to get it registered with the Laos embassy/consulate in the country you marry in. Some people say that Singapore is the most practical option to achieve this quickly. It seems quite difficult to find people who've actually done it though and most people who've successfully been through the process have spent a lot of time and effort to get a marriage that is legally recognized in Laos. If you read between the lines with the woman in this video, I think she may have family connections that took some of the hassle out of the process. She thinks it was cheaper and not that difficult to do it in Thailand but in a previous video her husband said it was very complicated.  
 

 

Edited May 7, 2023 by KhaoNiaw

[Pink Mist]

Trolling posts, replies and personal attacks have been removed.

[stoner]

much more economical to buy a good new pair of running shoes. 

[HauptmannUK]

2 hours ago, Celsius said:

Married 3 times in Thailand. All women had no children, university and MBA educated. Never paid this "sinsod".

 

 

Only MBA?  Most of the ThaiFriendly girls that I meet are PhDs....

[jaideedave]

2 hours ago, bbi1 said:

Actually, she told me it's something near 500,000 baht and 5 baht in gold, which I think it's too much. She thinks it's better that we don't marry so I don't need to spend so much.

Those numbers are only demanded because you're a farang.Even if she was an 18 yo virgin it would be too much.No disrespect but there is no great demand for her demographic.

There are no guarantees that the marriage will last. Money and wifey gone forever.

IMHO its a mugs game.Give the folks 10k and just cohabitate.Done deal.

The old saying applies here.>Don't buy the whole cow if you only want a glass of milk.

PS:I've been married 3 times already.

[bbi1]

1 hour ago, grain said:

Depends what sort of wedding you intend having. If you're going to the amphur and doing the marriage registration only then forget about sin sot. If you plan on having a big wedding party in the village then face is tied in with the sin sot. You could say you are not paying sin sot, but you will be paying for the wedding party, then for the sake of face you can put up a stack of bills to show, are we talking THB here? if so maybe 100K THB up for show BUT you get it back at the end. I did this 25 years ago when I married a Lao gal in rural Udorn Thani. She'd been married before, had a couple of kids. I talked with some Thai friends and they advised me that she no longer qualified for sin sot. But for the sake of her and her family's face I put up about 50K Bt for show. And I got it all back after. Also at the village wedding everyone came forward and tied money around our wrists, it's like wedding gifts and to repay me for what I spent on the wedding party. My wife's mum collected all the money off our wrists and thought she was going to keep it, but I told her to get knotted, it's mine. ????

Apparently the steps to get married is to go to her village, pay the sin sod and for the village police chief to come and sign some papers, then you are legally married in the village. This then allows you to move on to the next stage of progressing further to a full marriage licence which could take around a year and cost 120,000 baht for all the costs to the government, but once this initial stage is complete, you can legally sleep together and stay at the parents house in the village, if you so wish. Does this sound correct to you guys?

 

1 hour ago, brewsterbudgen said:

I married a Lao girl (2016) and didn't pay sinsod.  Seems very old fashioned. 

 

[bbi1]

1 hour ago, grain said:

Depends what sort of wedding you intend having. If you're going to the amphur and doing the marriage registration only then forget about sin sot.

Do you know or have a website link for the process about this, and the rough costs & what documentation is involved?

[bbi1]

11 minutes ago, jaideedave said:

Those numbers are only demanded because you're a farang.Even if she was an 18 yo virgin it would be too much.No disrespect but there is no great demand for her demographic.

Curious to know how much would an 18yo virgin would get for sin sod in Laos?