Foreigner Questions Thai Dowry: Netizens Respond

[baansgr]

11 hours ago, Gottfrid said:

Why so much talk about dowry year after year. In some countries this is the culture, tradition and norm. Thailand has been one of those countries and in some way still is. How you, as a foreigner, reacts to that is up to you. It´s also up to your wife to be and her family how they react. Here one must just ask themselves how important this is. Mostly, we are talking about 200-300k baht, which is, barely, nothing at all if you have decided to stay in Thailand. Either you pay up and be happy, do talks where all agree that dowry is not needed or move on to another woman with a mindset and a family that accepts your view of dowry.

Dowry is.not needed for a 47 year old grandmother...

[SingAPorn]

Usually it's for the girl's family to pay dowry to the golden goose falang who will be later expected to fund the entire family. Not the other way around. Some guys should get a better sense of inner value.

[AngryMan]

I guess I am one of the lucky ones, I have known my misses (too old for the title Girlfriend and I dont like the term partner as neither of us are cowboys) for over 20 years now and if I should ever decide to marry her it would be for her and not for me!

The best part is she has been an orphan since she was a baby, and her step parents, relatives, etc are either dead or don't want to have anything to do with me after I refused point blank to support their bone idlle lifestyle through my own hard work... with no reltives in the picture, she chose to hitch herself to my wagon! So I guess there is a bit of cowboy in this relationship after all... At the moment, I am all she has and she is all I want, so far!

 

I am also aware that she may just up and <deleted> off with a better prospect than me, and I am ok knowing that, good luck to her if she does, I am not a spring chicken and have been around the block many times, but in one's golden years there comes a time to settle down and just relax, and stop being angry.

Enjoy every day as if it was your last day, as one day it WILL be your last day1

“On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.”

― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

[Neeranam]

Why would any Westerner marry a 47 year old poor Thai woman?

 

[Neeranam]

I paid 100k to my wife's parents as she was 24., working and never divorced.

[transam]

1 minute ago, Neeranam said:

Why would any Westerner marry a 47 year old poor Thai woman?

 

What a very "sad" post, you should be ashamed of yourself................

[Slocum]

13 hours ago, ikke1959 said:

It is all about money in Thailand and dowry is a part of it....It gives the people a feeling how important they are

It's not big money. (Not the point) What you paid ?... But cultural understanding is critical....sometimes if you can... Better to ask around here.. to  learn... Having been here in and out regularly for 40 years now... and been a Asian.. I'm still wary about about the culture... 

[memkuk]

12 hours ago, Pouatchee said:

 

a woman previously married with kids knows not to expect a dowry. thai guys know this, foreigners not

Exactly. No dowry for secondhand material so to speak.  

[transam]

7 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

I paid 100k to my wife's parents as she was 24., working and never divorced.

Cheap skate.........

[Neeranam]

22 minutes ago, baansgr said:

Dowry is.not needed for a 47 year old grandmother...

absolutely, the giver would be a laughing stock! 

[sumongkhwai]

We went to the bank and got 400K baht and piled all our gold on top. It was presented to the parents and shown around. It was given back to us after the wedding and for the last 20 years we have continued to take of her parents. My wife had some land her village, and we built "apartments" on them which give us an income stream for us and to help take of her parets who, being simple farmers, don't want for much. It worked out well for us.

[Middle Aged Grouch]

What is it with all these farangs who need to pay just for company ?

[thrilled]

I believe what you’re talking about is Sin Sod. The man pays money, gold, diamonds, water buffalo etc to the mother of the bride. If the lady is young, never married no kids extremely pretty then her Mom will expect a large amount. If the guy can’t come up with it then the girl won’t marry or see him again. 
If the lady has been married before older, has kids then the amount of sin sod is a lot lower. 
But I have seen Sid over 10 million baht and 30-50 baht gold.

[Dolf]

6 minutes ago, thrilled said:

I believe what you’re talking about is Sin Sod. The man pays money, gold, diamonds, water buffalo etc to the mother of the bride. If the lady is young, never married no kids extremely pretty then her Mom will expect a large amount. If the guy can’t come up with it then the girl won’t marry or see him again. 
If the lady has been married before older, has kids then the amount of sin sod is a lot lower. 
But I have seen Sid over 10 million baht and 30-50 baht gold.

Sin sot is one marriage only. No second sin sot.

[manta]

Under the understanding that a second marriage doesn’t require a dowry, am I wrong?

[gomangosteen]

51 minutes ago, Middle Aged Grouch said:

What is it with all these farangs who need to pay just for company ?

Don't upset the 80% of posters here whose sole relationship ability involves a paid encounter on Soi 6!

[LukKrueng]

15 hours ago, webfact said:

"Am I stupid to pay a dowry to my Thai wife? After getting married, I never saw the money again. And less than a week after the wedding, both my wife's grandchildren received new iPhones and iPads."

You married a grandmother? I'd say the answer you your question is in mine....

[LukKrueng]

1 hour ago, Neeranam said:

I paid 100k to my wife's parents as she was 24., working and never divorced.

So you married someone's wife??

[hotandsticky]

35 minutes ago, gomangosteen said:

Don't upset the 80% of posters here whose sole relationship ability involves a paid encounter on Soi 6!

 

Rubbish!

 

Should read, in most cases, "whose extra curricular relationships ability involve a paid encounter on XYZ"

[twizzian]

When I gave my Dowry I said no to the gold, I’ll just buy the two rings, the family soon rustled up plenty of the gold stuff, some was even fake, it’s all another ‘face saving farce’

[Gottfrid]

2 hours ago, baansgr said:

Dowry is.not needed for a 47 year old grandmother...

Sure, you are right. However, it´s up to every individual what feels best to do.

[NorthernRyland]

7 hours ago, DjSilver said:

When a foreigner is forced to pay sinsod, it's like the womans parents are selling their daughter like a pier of meat, or as a prostitute. It's just so ridiculous stupid if any foreign man would agree to this, no matter how desperate they are.

 

I agree sinsod is a garbage tradition along with all the other crass idolatry of money. However, there are serious social pressures  which make it required lest you may totally embarrass her family. I paid 60k baht at my wedding (2 baht of gold) simply to fill the role of giving here dad something in his hands during the ceremony. It would have been embarrassing for him otherwise and he doesn't deserve that. It's not how he wants it but that's the world he's in. So be it.

[bbi1]

16 hours ago, itsari said:

His wife has grandchildren and the man has paid a dowry?

I understand that there is no obligation for a dowry when a woman has a previous relationship with children.

I am sure you would not see any Thai males lining up to do the same.

What a total idiot and newbie. You never pay dowry to someone who has been married before or has kids before or sells pussy now or in the past. No Thai man would be so stupid, only a foreigner.

[bbi1]

15 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Don't think I'd pay anything for a 47 year old women with grandchildren.

47 year old granny. They sure do like to have kids young up in Issan, typical lol

[bbi1]

14 hours ago, JeffersLos said:

The sinsod paid by Westerners are the most amusing. For some dark uneducated grub of a mother or grandmother from a family of farm laborers. 

 

More than any Thai would pay.

 

Double pricing strikes again.

A Thai would pay jack sheeet. Again, a Thai wouldn't even get involved with a granny with baggage of kids and grandkids.

[Brick Top]

As Del Boy would say

" What a Plonker "

[tmd5855]

Ten years ago met a lady now my wife.  To marry I went out with all immediate family for a meal, asked her Dad if I could marry her, said 'Yes' but, you need take care my granddaughter who were aged 8.

 

10 years later daughter is at university in Bangkok, never gave her mother or myself a sleepless night.

Meeting a woman from a good family helps, her family have bent over backwards to include me in all functions and 'No' I am not expected to pay.  Wife only has sisters and they all have good jobs.

 

Want a good Thai wife.......... Check out her family

[Aviatorhi]

How many times does it need to be repeated before it sinks into peoples brains - Flies, Fs, or Floats? RENT DON'T BUY!

[Uttaradit farang]

My father in law never asked for any money. The only thing he said was Love & Respect her.  

[RobU]

6 hours ago, Neeranam said:

Why would any Westerner marry a 47 year old poor Thai woman?

 

Because they perhaps are sweet and gentle like my wife who was 57 when I married her