What is Thai dating culture like?

[kevozman1]

If you're the typical lovey dovey type of Western male then don't even worry about it. You will get rinsed and be another statistic whining about Thai women. If you're not, then it will come down to if the woman sees you as an provider or her romantic interest and that will be based on if she is genuinely attracted to you or not. It's fairly similar in other places, but I find Thai women are quite extreme in this. 

[SiSePuede419]

On 5/25/2024 at 3:59 AM, save the frogs said:

An engineer earning 150K USD per annum will be a lot more attractive to ladies than an English teaching sweating it out for 35,000 baht per month.

Not in America.

Especially if the woman's father is an Engineer.

Then they're looking for a English major to get drunk with so they can pretend they don't have a drinking problem.

That got pretty specific quickly. 😆

[save the frogs]

6 hours ago, JensenZ said:

Sex work changes girls in irreversible ways. I

A failed marriage and a couple of unrequited love stories changes men in irreversible ways. 

 

Everything is reversible, man. In time. 

[romulsdefroz]

You make an interesting point—cultural dynamics can definitely influence relationships, and understanding these nuances is essential. It’s always a good idea to take the time to genuinely get to know someone first. Messaging and chatting online allow you to establish a connection and assess compatibility before taking things further, which is helpful in navigating any dating culture. Platforms like https://www.tenderbang.com/ make this process more accessible, offering opportunities to connect with people while giving both parties the chance to gauge mutual interest and attraction before meeting in person. 

[JensenZ]

36 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

A failed marriage and a couple of unrequited love stories changes men in irreversible ways. 

 

Everything is reversible, man. In time. 

Yes, a failed marriage and unsuccessful love stories are probably why many men take bar girls for girlfriends or marry them. Loneliness and heartbreak are powerful motivators.

 

Good luck in repurposing a bargirl into a life partner. Maybe there's some hope that "everything is reversible". It's usually newbies who try that. 

[chilli42]

On 5/25/2024 at 6:42 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

 

I agree with the complicated mess.

I think that is one of those situations where you should switch off your brain and listen to your heart. 

By intuition we know lots of things which we wouldn't be able to describe with words.

What brain might that be? The problem starts when men shut off the brain in their head and let the pocket brain do the thinking for them. 

[OneMoreFarang]

21 minutes ago, chilli42 said:

What brain might that be? The problem starts when men shut off the brain in their head and let the pocket brain do the thinking for them. 

And if the "pocket brain" is not compatible with whatever you call the other side then a relationship will likely fail.

 

If we look at relationships from people around us, how many of them match in age, job, culture, and whatever some people think is important?

I am sure matchmakers or matchmaker algorisms would never match me with my gf. But we are together since many years and happy. And I know other couples with very different background which are happy together. 

And then there are others who should be a good match, but they are not.

 

 

[happydreamer]

On 5/25/2024 at 2:49 AM, mstevens said:

Your question is simple but the answer is complex. What exactly are you looking for? Many foreigners "dating" in Thailand are simply looking for a smorgasbord of bed partners. Others are looking for a life partner. Some are looking for a lady much younger, others are looking for someone of similar age.

 

If I was going to give advice about dating in Thailand, and I am assuming you're looking for a long-term relationship possibly leading to marriage, then I'd say to choose someone with a similar education to yourself. Try and find a lady who is not too much younger although this all depends on your age. If you're 60 and she's 40, fine. If you're 40 and she's 20, forget it.

 

Put your best foot forward. Get a decent haircut, wear some nice clothes, be unfailingly polite, treat her well, go slow and if you've been a bar hound in the past, give that lifestyle up. Be decent to her and a good lady will be very decent in return.

 

It helps if you have money. You needn't be rich but in Thailand the man is expected to be able to take care of a lady. Plenty of ladies these days pay their way, but you should not expect that. You should expect that she will look after you in other "non-monetary" ways.

 

Don't hunt online. There are some gems out there but there are lots of vultures too. Introductions through colleagues, friends, acquaintances etc are a better way to go.

 

If you want some more fine-tuned thoughts, maybe provide a little background on yourself such as age, job etc. These things do make a difference. An engineer earning 150K USD per annum will be a lot more attractive to ladies than an English teaching sweating it out for 35,000 baht per month.

 

That's a few ideas to start with.

Excellent advice man.  

[happydreamer]

Look cool and be charming.  Smile a lot at strangers.  Go to a lounge with a bud, raise your glass to a table of ladies that glance your way.  They're looking for you to notice them.  If they raise their glass back to you order a round to their table.  Smile at them when it arrives.  Then go over there and talk to them.  This works best if you're only with one friend.  Don't bring a pack of hungry dogs with you.  

When I lived in Chiang Mai I literally met a girl without even speaking to her until she walked past my table to leave.  We had "air communications " all night raising glasses, smiling, pretending to text each other, tossing air messages to each other.  Make a game of it.  These girls like the cutesy <deleted>.

 

That was 7 years ago, had a fling with her, wasn't gonna work out as she was extremely jealous but we're still friends to this day.

 

Remember that in a room full of Thai people, if you're the handsome charming foreigner, you're somewhat of a token.  People will notice you , you'll stand out so use it to your advantage. 

[Airalee]

On 1/14/2025 at 6:58 AM, thesetat said:

I find that women in medical or government or education and even in 7/11 are usually seeking a man who will make a good future hence they do not want you for the money but more for the security.

Two of the biggest gold diggers I met were nurses.  One even had a friend warn me of said nurses intentions and informed me that she was just looking for a Farang because she had 2 million baht in debt from a failed business venture.

 

My experience has been that the women with the government, nursing and teaching jobs have easier access to loans and therefore are carrying the highest debt loads.

[Airalee]

On 1/14/2025 at 8:57 AM, spidermike007 said:

Also, I have friends who use Tinder, and in Bangkok 98% of the gals on Tinder are civilians, who are looking for a friend, a date or some romance. Many of them are highly successful, open to a foreigner, and do not have time for a relationship, from what I am told by a few difference guys. 

I found the opposite on Tinder.  Most were on the game.   Next worse was Thaifriendly and the one with the most civilians (as you call them) was Thaicupid.

[MeHere]

I met a lovely girl on a dating site Thai Cupid back around 2008, where I had narrowed down several great girls (from several different countries), eventually falling for this one Thai girl... After four or five trips, I decided she was the one, as we got along great. She found a house (in Bang Bon), purchased a pickup for me, I packed everything and moved to BKK back in 2009 to start our lives together. This lasted only about a year and a bit, but in the end, we weren't right for each other. We've remained friends to this day.

 

Living in BKK as a single guy with a good gig for a western company, the town is your oyster... but it can take its toll if you can't throttle yourself.

After we decided to call it quits, I went on a dating rampage (a bit like before we met)... and what a rampage it was; mostly with girls I met on Thai Friendly (when it was still somewhat new and not overrun by working girls)... Met a bunch of really great (and not so great but fun) girls on there too... There was a loose but full schedule.

 

I've always found dating sites to be the very best way to meet girls... With the ability to filter down what you want (and filter out what you don't want), the choices become much better aligned with what you're looking for, and eventually becomes like the proverbial fish in a bucket, or in my case, ducks in a row. The hardest part at this point is narrowing them back down to 'the one' :-S

 

The best way in my experience, is to try to not use the dating sites' algorithms, and to refine your own search criteria, as nefariously or wholesomely as you require!

 

Finally ended up with a lovely lady from Surin that grew up on the family farm, but moved to BKK to work as an accountant to take care of the family. We've been together for just about 14 years now, and it just keeps getting better. We've lived in Australia since 2016, and purchased a plot in Hua Hin and we'll move back in 5 years or so to wind down and enjoy retirement.

[thesetat]

1 hour ago, Airalee said:

Two of the biggest gold diggers I met were nurses.  One even had a friend warn me of said nurses intentions and informed me that she was just looking for a Farang because she had 2 million baht in debt from a failed business venture.

 

My experience has been that the women with the government, nursing and teaching jobs have easier access to loans and therefore are carrying the highest debt loads.

Well... there is bad and good in everything... For the most part though, i found my wife this way. She will making more than me monthly in her government position. 

Online is not exactly the best way to meet the type of girl you seek. But it does give you the advantage of being able to talk and meet many girls which gives the opportunity that one of them may be the woman you are seeking for relationship. 

No matter what, it is a numbers game. Learn to play it. haha

[Airalee]

2 minutes ago, thesetat said:

Well... there is bad and good in everything... For the most part though, i found my wife this way. She will making more than me monthly in her government position. 

Online is not exactly the best way to meet the type of girl you seek. But it does give you the advantage of being able to talk and meet many girls which gives the opportunity that one of them may be the woman you are seeking for relationship. 

No matter what, it is a numbers game. Learn to play it. haha

Most of the women I have met have been IRL.  Some good….some heinous.  Likewise with those I have met online with the exception of tinder where they were all nixed quite expeditiously.

 

Like you say….it’s a number game.  To me, it makes sense to bark up all trees be they in real life and online.

 

Regardless, I’m pretty happy with the woman I have in my life now.