Has anyone had a good experience dating/marrying a bar girl or prostitute in Thailand?

[MangoKorat]

I was once in Pattaya for the 'stag night' of a friend who was marrying a Thai girl. I was in a relationship at the time and wasn't interested in 'participating' but that can be difficult - the girls want customers.

 

At one go-go bar I sat right up to the dance floor trying my best not to make eye contact - knowing what that would lead to but course you want to look, what normal male wouldn't?  After a while one girl bent down and asked me if she could come and sit with me, I relented and told her 'one drink' - I have a girlfriend.

 

This girl sat with me for about 45 minutes until my group left.  During that time I stuck to my guns and only bought her the 'one drink'. She told me she was tired of dancing and would buy her own drinks if she could continue sitting with me - which she did. 

 

This girl like many, had a story and I found it totally believable. She was 35 but like a lot of Thai girls, looked much younger (make up also helps). She'd worked in hotels in Bangkok after finishing university until she was 'knocked up' by her Thai boyfriend - like many, he legged it as soon as he found out she was pregnant. She was from somewhere in Isaan, can't remember exactly where and as is common, had been brought up by her grandparents whilst her mum and dad worked in Bangkok.

 

She'd decided that she was going to do her best not to repeat that story and went home to 'the village' to have her baby with the intention of staying. She said it hadn't been easy but with family help, she'd managed until recently but as her child grew older, so did the expenses.  She'd had a few relationships with Thai guys after the birth on her child but none of the guys she met were interested in taking on a girl with a child, they just wanted sex. A few girls from her area had gone to 'work bar' in Bangkok and Pattaya and some met 'farangs' through their work. Some had married and moved to live in their husband's country. 

 

Faced with growing expenses she was left with a choice - go to work in Bangkok, leaving her child with her parents - probably forever or like the other girls, go to work bar - maybe she could also meet a foreigner. She'd been in the bar for around a month and already had lots of offers - not surprising, she was a good looking girl. She had been with quite a few customers and it seemed she was struggling with it.  She was under pressure from her boss to go with more and also to sell more 'lady drinks'.  She told me that although she'd received offers, she just couldn't bring herself to enter into a relationship with a much older, often fat, foreigner - simply for the money.

 

She seemed a really nice girl and true to her word, separated her drinks from my 'bin' when I left and put her share in.  I think that her story was true - I've heard similar many times before but this girl accepted that I would only be buying one drink and would not not be taking her out of the bar. She was not pushy at all and I think that like she told me, she just wanted to sit down.

 

I left as our group moved on but often wonder what happend to her.  Did she meet Mr Right in the bar (doubtful) or did she become a hardened hooker?  Sadly, I think the latter is most likely but it seems to me that it is possible to enter into a relationship with a bar girl - if you catch her early enough.

 

The relationship I was in at the time was with a girl who had never worked bar but who turned out to be a massive liar and serial cheater - would I have been any worse off with a girl like the one I'd met in the bar?

Edited June 9 by MangoKorat

[ArnieP]

Cashiers are often bar girls on ‘cashier duty’, same same when they’re on ‘bartender duty’.

[OneMoreFarang]

36 minutes ago, MangoKorat said:

I was once in Pattaya for the 'stag night' of a friend who was marrying a Thai girl. I was in a relationship at the time and wasn't interested in 'participating' but that can be difficult - the girls want customers.

 

At one go-go bar I sat right up to the dance floor trying my best not to make eye contact - knowing what that would lead to but course you want to look, what normal male wouldn't?  After a while one girl bent down and asked me if she could come and sit with me, I relented and told her 'one drink' - I have a girlfriend.

 

This girl sat with me for about 45 minutes until my group left.  During that time I stuck to my guns and only bought her the 'one drink'. She told me she was tired of dancing and would buy her own drinks if she could continue sitting with me - which she did. 

 

This girl like many, had a story and I found it totally believable. She was 35 but like a lot of Thai girls, looked much younger (make up also helps). She'd worked in hotels in Bangkok after finishing university until she was 'knocked up' by her Thai boyfriend - like many, he legged it as soon as he found out she was pregnant. She was from somewhere in Isaan, can't remember exactly where and as is common, had been brought up by her grandparents whilst her mum and dad worked in Bangkok.

 

She'd decided that she was going to do her best not to repeat that story and went home to 'the village' to have her baby with the intention of staying. She said it hadn't been easy but with family help, she'd managed until recently but as her child grew older, so did the expenses.  She'd had a few relationships with Thai guys after the birth on her child but none of the guys she met were interested in taking on a girl with a child, they just wanted sex. A few girls from her area had gone to 'work bar' in Bangkok and Pattaya and some met 'farangs' through their work. Some had married and moved to live in their husband's country. 

 

Faced with growing expenses she was left with a choice - go to work in Bangkok, leaving her child with her parents - probably forever or like the other girls, go to work bar - maybe she could also meet a foreigner. She'd been in the bar for around a month and already had lots of offers - not surprising, she was a good looking girl. She had been with quite a few customers and it seemed she was struggling with it.  She was under pressure from her boss to go with more and also to sell more 'lady drinks'.  She told me that although she'd received offers, she just couldn't bring herself to enter into a relationship with a much older, often fat, foreigner - simply for the money.

 

She seemed a really nice girl and true to her word, separated her drinks from my 'bin' when I left and put her share in.  I think that her story was true - I've heard similar many times before but this girl accepted that I would only be buying one drink and would not not be taking her out of the bar. She was not pushy at all and I think that like she told me, she just wanted to sit down.

 

I left as our group moved on but often wonder what happend to her.  Did she meet Mr Right in the bar (doubtful) or did she become a hardened hooker?  Sadly, I think the latter is most likely but it seems to me that it is possible to enter into a relationship with a bar girl - if you catch her early enough.

 

The relationship I was in at the time was with a girl who had never worked bar but who turned out to be a massive liar and serial cheater - would I have been any worse off with a girl like the one I'd met in the bar?

It sounds like you would have (possibly) married her if you would not have been in a relationship at that time.

Many girls know which story to tell which (kind of) guy. She had a story ready for you.

 

I think many of us who live here for a long time and go to the bars regularly heard many of the stories. And we don't care anymore. And we don't believe the stories. And at least some girls know that. And because they know that we know they don't even try to tell us BS stories anymore.

At least I didn't hear any of those stories anymore since a long time.

 

[Irish star]

Never in 18 years and most weren’t bar girls , just everyday scammers 

[Hummin]

3 hours ago, MangoKorat said:

Refreshing to hear a truthful story.  Unlike many on here that claim they've never been with a bar girl - the temple goers.

Most forget there is a reason they want a foreigner, and the most innocent looking girl and with innocent behaviour, was one of the most hardcore freelancer former bar girl I met in my life. 

 

We where party together for 6 months living in the same building. Amazing to watch and learn. Her cruise boat captain fiance believed she was gold, and the best thing ever. I saw the other side of her, but I have to agree, she was reslly something, but a man eater and professional lier against her fiance and her bf's. 

 

Most girls just make enough money to live and send some back, but she managed 10 times more, and also having monthly transfers from each and one of them months after they left. 

 

 

[MangoKorat]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It sounds like you would have (possibly) married her if you would not have been in a relationship at that time.

Many girls know which story to tell which (kind of) guy. She had a story ready for you.

 

I think many of us who live here for a long time and go to the bars regularly heard many of the stories. And we don't care anymore. And we don't believe the stories. And at least some girls know that. And because they know that we know they don't even try to tell us BS stories anymore.

At least I didn't hear any of those stories anymore since a long time.

 

Naa, you'd have to have been there. You're not talking to a newbie - quite the opposite.

 

I've been around long enough and heard enough to know when someone's genuine or not. I was also married to a girl who'd have won gold for her country if lying was an olympic sport and another who had a Thai boyfriend since the day we met.  Nobody's infallible but it would be difficult for any woman to get a lie past me - not something I'm particularly proud of, the learning curve was very hard.

Edited June 9 by MangoKorat

[Hummin]

4 minutes ago, MangoKorat said:

Naa, you'd have to have been there. You're not talking to a newbie - quite the opposite.

 

I've been around long enough and heard enough to know when someone's genuine or not. I was also married to a girl who'd have won gold for her country if lying was an olympic sport and another who had a Thai boyfriend since the day we met.  Nobody's infallible but it would be difficult for any woman to get a lie past me - not something I'm particularly proud of, the learning curve was very hard.

Talking about having high thoughts about your self. Nobody is imune to lies, and nobody is 100% so secure they know when a girl speaks the truth. We all have to gamble in life, and go along to see whats in the other end sometimes. 

 

For every person I have met in Thailand who had to same idea about themselves, had never seen themselves from outside and in. 

 

The most funny I have experienced, is one guy who claimed he had met the perfect woman, educated, worked in government, now retired and financial secured, and after knowing them better, bought an appartment in BKK where her sons lived, bought a taxi for one of the sons, bought a house in Hua Hin the whole family used, and still claimed he never gave his wife one baht! 

 

Well, it was his wife who actually corrected him when he claimed so, because she didnt want to sound cheap and stuped when he bragged about himself and how smart he was. 

[Hummin]

 

Timeless

[Irish star]

Yeah , Good Times  Cheating , Lying , Stealing what could go wrong , you can ‘t take the Bar outta of their heads you will need many years of patience  , if you think a girl is going to change at 30 years of age, like I did , they never mature  , NOPE it’s in their DNA  

Edited June 9 by Irish star

[OneMoreFarang]

37 minutes ago, MangoKorat said:

Naa, you'd have to have been there. You're not talking to a newbie - quite the opposite.

 

I've been around long enough and heard enough to know when someone's genuine or not. I was also married to a girl who'd have won gold for her country if lying was an olympic sport and another who had a Thai boyfriend since the day we met.  Nobody's infallible but it would be difficult for any woman to get a lie past me - not something I'm particularly proud of, the learning curve was very hard.

Good if you can spot a lie.

Personally, I listen to stories, and I don't really think about if they are true or not. And if I see the person several times, then over time the stories somehow add up or not. I think there are few storyteller (let's be nice and not call them liars) who get all their stories lines up. With many of them each individual story might be possible, but together they don't make sense.

[MangoKorat]

26 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Talking about having high thoughts about your self. Nobody is imune to lies, and nobody is 100% so secure they know when a girl speaks the truth. We all have to gamble in life, and go along to see whats in the other end sometimes. 

High thoughts?  I have no 'high thoughts' at all. I think you need to learn to read instead of skim reading.  Nowhere did I say 100%  and nor did I say I was immune. I said it would be very difficult for any woman to get a lie past me.

 

That's not something I'm particulary proud of - I learned they hard way, and much harder than most.  I'm not about to spill my life story here but there are members here that know me personally and they know. And no, before you speculate, I'm not one of the idiots that comes to Thailand and loses every penny he's ever had.  My story is about far more than money - it came very close to me losing my life.

 

So next time you critcise someone and think you know far more than them - take the time to consider that there are people out there that have been seriously wronged!

[Hummin]

7 minutes ago, MangoKorat said:

High thoughts?  I have no 'high thoughts' at all. I think you need to learn to read instead of skim reading.  Nowhere did I say 100%  and nor did I say I was immune. I said it would be very difficult for any woman to get a lie past me.

 

That's not something I'm particulary proud of - I learned they hard way, and much harder than most.  I'm not about to spill my life story here but there are members here that know me personally and they know. And no, before you speculate, I'm not one of the idiots that comes to Thailand and loses every penny he's ever had.  My story is about far more than money - it came very close to me losing my life.

 

So next time you critcise someone and think you know far more than them - take the time to consider that there are people out there that have been seriously wronged!

 

Then you loosing in both ends, as said you miss out when you do not trust people, treat everyone the same, looking for red flags all over, and mistrust becomes your survival instinct. 

 

Nobody go through life without failure, some grow, others pull up their shields, and become experts on negativity. 

[BobBKK]

All about 'face' all the girls will say cashiers - the old and ugly ones, it may be true. The young and cute ones it's just euphemism for bonking for cash.

[MangoKorat]

2 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Good if you can spot a lie.

Sadly I look at everything as a lie now - its a starting point I place there for protection - not really that I can spot a lie.

 

Many years ago when I wasn't sure of a girl I was dating but thought I could, I bought her a phone for christmas. What she didn't know was that the phone had Flexispy installed on it.  I expected I'd catch her out, I just wanted proof so that I didn't finish with her simply because of an unfounded suspicion.  Flexispy at the time was pretty cheap and I figured it would save me a lot of time and money in the long run.

 

However, the level of her deceipt was unbelievable, there wasn't just one guy - there were many + one night stands. She's also met one of her 'conquests' (that's how she saw them) at the airport after waving me goodbye 😀.

 

That girl gave me a grounding in Thai girl lying and it went downhill from there.

[MangoKorat]

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

 

Then you loosing in both ends, as said you miss out when you do not trust people, treat everyone the same, looking for red flags all over, and mistrust becomes your survival instinct. 

 

Nobody go through life without failure, some grow, others pull up their shields, and become experts on negativity. 

With respect, you do not know my story and I'm not about to tell it here. I have trusted many times and each time been kicked in the balls. I find the best way is not to trust at all - for me trust is earned, not given.

 

Anyway, this is not about me, I have posted my thoughts on relationships with bar girls - let's leave it at that.  I didn't notice anything in the OP where it said all comments will be disected and the poster questioned as to their knowledge. All the OP calls for is people's opinions on whether marrying a bar girl can work or not.