Are you really in Control ?

[CharlieH]

Image courtesy Pixabay

 

"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts." - Marcus Aurelius

In today's fast-paced world, finding peace and contentment can feel like a distant dream. However, Marcus Aurelius reminds us that true happiness stems from within. By focusing on the present moment, we can alleviate the burden of worrying about the future. Controlling our thoughts and associated emotions is no easy task. It requires learning to exercise control, almost reprogramming how we think and feel. Through deliberate effort and practice, we can reassess what is truly important to us, gaining clarity and perspective along the way.

"Our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude." - Viktor Frankl

Our own thoughts often become our worst enemies, leading to self-doubt and anxiety. Marcus Aurelius, in his "Meditations," encourages us to tame our minds, understanding that our inner dialogue shapes our reality. By embracing the here and now, we can overcome the paralysis of overthinking and take meaningful action.

Enjoying the journey each day is paramount to reducing stress and worry. Rather than fixating on distant destinations, we learn to appreciate the beauty of the present moment. By silencing the inner voice of "what if" and second-guessing, we focus on the reality of now, finding fulfillment in life's simple pleasures.


"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got." - Henry Ford

Simplifying our approach to life can bring about greater peace of mind. Letting go of the need to control every outcome allows us to embrace the beauty and possibility of each moment. As we cultivate mindfulness and gratitude, we discover that true happiness comes from within, regardless of external circumstances.

Image courtesy of Unsplash

Most of you here today have retired, having lived most of your life working hard and conforming to social expectations. Perhaps you've experienced marriages, raised children, and now find them leading their own lives. Now, as you've chosen to retire in Thailand, you may have thought, "It's time for me, not others." It's this aspect and thought process that this article aims to address. You cannot move forward if constantly looking behind. Make it about you now—live, love, be happy, and take control of your thoughts and actions. Enjoy the remainder of your life for you

 

Retirement marks a significant milestone in life—a time to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. As you embrace this new chapter, remember that you hold the power to shape your own destiny. Let go of the burdens of the past, take control of your thoughts and actions, and seize the opportunity to live the remainder of your life on your own terms. By doing so, you open the door to a retirement filled with joy, purpose, and fulfilment.

 

 

 

[Prubangboy]

My idol, Willie Nelson said:

 

"The statement that we're not in control makes a lot more sense if you stick the word fortunately in front of it".

[soalbundy]

No, we are not in control. Things happen due to causality and there is your reaction to causal events. Reactions are predetermined by genetics, your upbringing as a child, past experiences as an adult, your country of birth, education, religion, society, etc.

 

There are certain religions and philosophies that try to mitigate and alter the afore mentioned properties, to build a new house on the foundations of the old with some success. Zen Buddhism, the dissertations in Hinduism (Bagavat Gita, Advaita Vedanta etc.) then there are individuals who try to produce a life's map to overcome the pattern into which you have been stamped, Meister Eckhart the 14th century German Christian Monk, Buddha, the gurus Ramana Maharshi and Nisargatta, Markus Aurelius the Roman emperor and philosopher to name but a few. Unfortunately those predetermined properties that I mentioned will determine whether you are open to such teachings and causality will play a role whether you come into contact with them.

 

Modern spiritual teachings, leaning on the old teachings and to some extent on modern physicists such as Tom Campbell and Donald Hoffman and several others consider that all that exists in reality is consciousness controlling the avatar that we call a body existing in a self evolving illusory field produced by consciousness that we call the universe, which is merely an interface for consciousness to reduce its entropy as it too evolves, some call it God, Brahman, Atman, the absolute, it has many names. As Nisargadatta said "That which changes is not real, that which is real does not change", Buddha's dissertations on "No Self" and "The World is Empty" is the same idea. Your true self is eternal undifferentiated consciousness which was there at the birth of the avatar and will witness its death.

 

 

[newbee2022]

16 hours ago, CharlieH said:

Image courtesy Pixabay

 

"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts." - Marcus Aurelius

In today's fast-paced world, finding peace and contentment can feel like a distant dream. However, Marcus Aurelius reminds us that true happiness stems from within. By focusing on the present moment, we can alleviate the burden of worrying about the future. Controlling our thoughts and associated emotions is no easy task. It requires learning to exercise control, almost reprogramming how we think and feel. Through deliberate effort and practice, we can reassess what is truly important to us, gaining clarity and perspective along the way.

"Our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude." - Viktor Frankl

Our own thoughts often become our worst enemies, leading to self-doubt and anxiety. Marcus Aurelius, in his "Meditations," encourages us to tame our minds, understanding that our inner dialogue shapes our reality. By embracing the here and now, we can overcome the paralysis of overthinking and take meaningful action.

Enjoying the journey each day is paramount to reducing stress and worry. Rather than fixating on distant destinations, we learn to appreciate the beauty of the present moment. By silencing the inner voice of "what if" and second-guessing, we focus on the reality of now, finding fulfillment in life's simple pleasures.


"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got." - Henry Ford

Simplifying our approach to life can bring about greater peace of mind. Letting go of the need to control every outcome allows us to embrace the beauty and possibility of each moment. As we cultivate mindfulness and gratitude, we discover that true happiness comes from within, regardless of external circumstances.

Image courtesy of Unsplash

Most of you here today have retired, having lived most of your life working hard and conforming to social expectations. Perhaps you've experienced marriages, raised children, and now find them leading their own lives. Now, as you've chosen to retire in Thailand, you may have thought, "It's time for me, not others." It's this aspect and thought process that this article aims to address. You cannot move forward if constantly looking behind. Make it about you now—live, love, be happy, and take control of your thoughts and actions. Enjoy the remainder of your life for you

 

Retirement marks a significant milestone in life—a time to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. As you embrace this new chapter, remember that you hold the power to shape your own destiny. Let go of the burdens of the past, take control of your thoughts and actions, and seize the opportunity to live the remainder of your life on your own terms. By doing so, you open the door to a retirement filled with joy, purpose, and fulfilment.

 

 

 

I don't know where you copied most parts of your post, but there are many obstacles when it comes to retirement: money, health, socialising and brain activities.

So all this what you described doesn't help at all. And if, then it's irrelevant. Sorry.🙏

[CharlesHolzhauer]

1 hour ago, soalbundy said:

No, we are not in control. Things happen due to causality and there is your reaction to causal events. Reactions are predetermined by genetics, your upbringing as a child, past experiences as an adult, your country of birth, education, religion, society, etc.

 

There are certain religions and philosophies that try to mitigate and alter the afore mentioned properties, to build a new house on the foundations of the old with some success. Zen Buddhism, the dissertations in Hinduism (Bagavat Gita, Advaita Vedanta etc.) then there are individuals who try to produce a life's map to overcome the pattern into which you have been stamped, Meister Eckhart the 14th century German Christian Monk, Buddha, the gurus Ramana Maharshi and Nisargatta, Markus Aurelius the Roman emperor and philosopher to name but a few. Unfortunately those predetermined properties that I mentioned will determine whether you are open to such teachings and causality will play a role whether you come into contact with them.

 

Modern spiritual teachings, leaning on the old teachings and to some extent on modern physicists such as Tom Campbell and Donald Hoffman and several others consider that all that exists in reality is consciousness controlling the avatar that we call a body existing in a self evolving illusory field produced by consciousness that we call the universe, which is merely an interface for consciousness to reduce its entropy as it too evolves, some call it God, Brahman, Atman, the absolute, it has many names. As Nisargadatta said "That which changes is not real, that which is real does not change", Buddha's dissertations on "No Self" and "The World is Empty" is the same idea. Your true self is eternal undifferentiated consciousness which was there at the birth of the avatar and will witness its death.

 

 

AI couldn't have done a better job.

[soalbundy]

Just now, CharlesHolzhauer said:

AI couldn't have done a better job.

Do I take that as a compliment or are you taking the pi$$?

I have merely shown a small amount of knowledge that I have assimilated over 30 years of study, obviously none of it stems from me but from great enlightened men or from those who have put a great deal of work and money into their hypothesis's and who have tried to underline the work of gurus and holy men with scientific fact. I am not what one could call enlightened, that comes from grace not from study because the intellect has no way of fully grasping the concepts so I can only stroke the surface but I truly believe what they have taught. I have however meditated on Ramana Maharshi's "who am I" method, 'neti neti' not that, not that, with some success.

[Thingamabob]

Full control, whether in retirement or at any other time, is an illusion.Much that affects our lives is totally beyond our control. 

[Bert got kinky]

 

Oh dear God, no.

I haven't been in control for such a long time now.

 

[transam]

7 minutes ago, Bert got kinky said:

 

Oh dear God, no.

I haven't been in control for such a long time now.

 

I would agree with that............

[Bert got kinky]

34 minutes ago, transam said:

I would agree with that............

 

Thank you Tranny, that means so much to me. ☺️

 

[Hummin]

Im in as much control I can be for now, not so much before.

 

Taking control of your mind, what you think, how you think, and how you manage to remove negativity makes the difference.

 

Economy safe, stability, dicipline, healthy routine, lifestyle and diet helps to take control

 

 

[Ralf001]

being in control sounds boring, No thanks.

[retarius]

Quotes, like patriotism, are the last refuge of a scoundrel. 

[transam]

1 minute ago, retarius said:

Quotes, like patriotism, are the last refuge of a scoundrel. 

For you, most definitely, but don't put the rest of us in your bracket, eh........🥴

[Moonlover]

'Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated'. Confucius ,  551 -  479 BCE (approx)

 

It's a very simple statement, but there's a whole lot of truth in it.

[Moonlover]

3 hours ago, Thingamabob said:

Full control, whether in retirement or at any other time, is an illusion. Much that affects our lives is totally beyond our control. 

That is very true but it's not really the point that the article is making. It's how we react to things that affect our lives that count.

 

We don't have to get annoyed when someone cuts us up in traffic, or have a hissy fit when immigration ask for an extra document. Nothing is gained by getting irritated by anything that causes us grief. Just note it and let it go. There are three 'Golden Rules' that I try and live my life by:

 

            1. Let go of worries.

 

            2. Let go of thoughts.

 

           3. Enjoy the moment.

 

It ain't always easy, but it's an approach to life that's well worth cultivating.

[Hummin]

4 minutes ago, Moonlover said:

That is very true but it's not really the point that the article is making. It's how we react to things that affect our lives that count.

 

We don't have to get annoyed when someone cuts us up in traffic, or have a hissy fit when immigration ask for an extra document. Nothing is gained by getting irritated by anything that causes us grief. Just note it and let it go. There are three 'Golden Rules' that I try and live my life by:

 

            1. Let go of worries.

 

            2. Let go of thoughts.

 

           3. Enjoy the moment.

 

It ain't always easy, but it's an approach to life that's well worth cultivating.

Sounds good 

 

Does count on AN to? Or is this the place you give yourself freecard?

 

This forum is toxic sometimes, and still it amazes me every time someone take the energy to give a negative emotion. 

 

Which maybe reflects their toxic negativity.

[thomago]

"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts." - Marcus Aurelius

"Our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude." - Viktor Frankl

 

I love the above quotes because there is a lot of truth in them.

 

About four decades ago, I concluded: “The way you think is the way you feel, and the way you feel is the way you act”. Put simply: If I have negative thoughts then I tend to feel negatively and act accordingly. If I have positive thoughts, then I tend to feel positive and act accordingly. Influencing my thought process and emotions through positive thinking has had a major positive impact on my life (and others).

 

I also was brought up with the "Golden Rule" which my mom explained to me as follows: “Treat people the way you want to be treated – friendly, politely, respectfully, generously, with empathy and compassion”. Since this makes a lot of sense to me, I’m still trying to live accordingly. Again, this has had a major positive impact on my life (and others).

 

Not being a religious person, I still love the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.

 

The above examples have helped me living a life characterized by happiness, contentment, and gratitude. In addition, having financial freedom most certainly has been helpful.

 

Coming back to the topic of this thread: “Are you really in control?”. The honest answer to that would have to be “No” because I am not fully in control. There could be health issues, accidents, deaths, and other incidents I have absolutely no control over. However, I do feel much more in control over the things I can actively and positively influence – starting with myself and the quality of my thoughts.

[brianthainess]

None of us are in control of anything by thought, I thought it was going to be a nice day, then it pissed down. ....

[Hummin]

9 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

None of us are in control of anything by thought, I thought it was going to be a nice day, then it pissed down. ....

I would think good for my trees and plants, and the grass for my animals feed from, and more bugs and worms for my chickens 😉

 

and the best thing, I make money while Im wasting time here 

 

Think positive

[brianthainess]

1 minute ago, Hummin said:

I would think good for my trees and plants, and the grass for my animals feed from, and more bugs and warms for my chickens 😉

But it had been pissing down for days.......

[Hummin]

5 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

But it had been pissing down for days.......

Im okay, got seaview western food, waiting for parts to arrive, which is delayed with another week, so Im back off duty before that time

[brianthainess]

5 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Im okay, got seaview western food, waiting for parts to arrive, which is delayed with another week, so Im back off duty before that time

So positive thoughts of your 'parts' arriving, was also out of your control. I have jungle views just saying.

[Hummin]

3 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

So positive thoughts of your 'parts' arriving, was also out of your control. I have jungle views just saying.

This is normal, you are booked for a project, and everything supposed to be in place ready to go, but very often delayed, wrong measurments, wrong parts, strikes, weather, so the best thing is to hang out, study, eat, sleep exercise, and look at the bright side. Afterall, I get paid no matter what

[brianthainess]

1 minute ago, Hummin said:

 Afterall, I get paid no matter what

So do I from my Pension.

[Moonlover]

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

Sounds good 

 

Does count on AN to? Or is this the place you give yourself freecard?

 

This forum is toxic sometimes, and still it amazes me every time someone take the energy to give a negative emotion. 

 

Which maybe reflects their toxic negativity.

The number one problem with social media, including AN, is that we are often tempted to write before we think! And then even worse, we hit the send key without giving a second thought.

 

Yes indeed, AN can be a very toxic environment and exercising self restraint can be very challenging at times, but it's worth it. Putting a negative thought into writing gives it oxygen and in the end will do yourself as much harm as the receiver, maybe even more so.

 

I do wish more people would realize that. Visiting AN would a little more pleasurable. (and my ignore user list would be a lot shorter)