Negative Stereotypes About Thai Women in Relationships with Foreigners

[Alpha84]

Something that's been on my mind a lot is all the negative stereotypes Iv'e read in AN forum posts surrounding relationships with Thai women. I wonder how true they are or if there are a lot of misconceptions and false statements being made. 

One exhausting stereotype I read over and over again is the idea that Thai women are only interested in Western men for financial security. While I know that money can be a factor in any relationship, is it fair to paint so many Thai women with the same brush? They can't all be looking for just one superficial thing. 
 

I've also seen firsthand a few long-term relationships between foreigners and Thai women that seem to be based on genuine love and mutual respect, but I can't be sure because it's very easy for people to act a certain way in public amongst groups of friends versus when they are alone together in private. 

Another stereotype is that Thai women are submissive or passive in relationships. Hard to imagine that is true across the board either. Thai society appears fairly diverse so I assume that so are many of the Thai women as well. I'll bet there are plenty who are assertive, independent, and equal partners in their relationships. In fact, I've also read stereotypes about Thai women saying the complete opposite and that they're aggressive, sometimes even violent, and emotionally immature and unstable. So I've seen two stereotypes that contradict each other. I assume both have some degree of accuracy, but I'm wondering which is the more dominant stereotype in daily reality. 

Local media doesn't help though with its added amount of sensationalized stories often reinforcing these stereotypes. It's like they're wanting to always paint this one-dimensional picture of Thai women that probably doesn't do justice to the real complexities of an actual romantic relationship.

What really matters in any relationship I think are things like shared interests, an emotional connection, and a degree of mutual understanding and willingness to compromise at times when needed. Those are the things that make a relationship work it seems, regardless of cultural backgrounds.

I wonder if others have encountered these stereotypes in their own real life experiences or if in reality it's something completely different in the real world than what I've observed so heavily written about here online. 
 

 

 

 

Edited July 1 by Alpha84
Error Corrections

[Berkshire]

You're going to get all kinds of comments here, but you're right in that all women are different.  I will say that bargirls and normal girls are completely different.  Girls in Pattaya and girls in Chiang Mai are completely different.  Even among bargirls, the ones doing it for years will be different from the ones fresh off the farm.  Then there's the age, level of education, family social status, past relationships, if have children, alcohol/drug use, circle of friends, etc.  But the stereotype that some delusional farangs have of all Thai girls wanting a farang is completely untrue.  Understand that most Thai women in Thailand are with Thai men and are pretty happy.

[RSD1]

7 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

Understand that most Thai women in Thailand are with Thai men and are pretty happy.

Really? Why would you assume, just because they are in a relationship with their own race, that they're pretty happy? Do you think that's the same in most other Asian countries too?

[Berkshire]

4 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

Really? Why would you assume, just because they are in a relationship with their own race, that they're pretty happy? Do you think that's the same in most other Asian countries too?

It's the same in every country.  Normal people in normal relationships.  Or do you disagree?  If so, please explain.

[RSD1]

1 minute ago, Berkshire said:

It's the same in every country.  Normal people in normal relationships.  Or do you disagree?  If so, please explain.

What's a normal relationship? But here is the issue in Thailand. Only about 25% of the Thai population has a higher education, so a lot of them are lacking in intellectuality. Then the Thai working class males (majority of the Thai male population) also have a reputation for being womanizers, gamblers, drunks, etc. Do you think Thai women married to those types of men are generally happy?

[Berkshire]

1 minute ago, RSD1 said:

What's a normal relationship? But here is the issue in Thailand. Only about 25% of the Thai population has a higher education, so a lot of them are lacking in intellectuality. Then the Thai working class males (majority of the Thai male population) also have a reputation for being womanizers, gamblers, drunks, etc. Do you think Thai women married to those types of men are generally happy?

I don't know where you're getting your information, but if it's from Pattaya bargirls, then it obviously will be a bit slanted.  Sure there are guys like that, but they're not in the majority.

[RSD1]

3 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

I don't know where you're getting your information, but if it's from Pattaya bargirls, then it obviously will be a bit slanted.  Sure there are guys like that, but they're not in the majority.

Who is going to spend their one hour of short time with a Pattaya bar girl discussing their relationships with Thai men? Not me. I'm far more interested in discussing quantum mechanics with them. Anyway, more baseless assumptions on what is majority. 

[Berkshire]

Just now, RSD1 said:

Who is going to spend their one hour of short time with a Pattaya bar girl discussing their relationships with Thai men? Not me. I'm far more interested in discussing quantum mechanics with them. Anyway, more baseless assumptions on what is majority. 

Funny you should mention "baseless assumptions."  Isn't that what you're all about?  I'm in Chiang Mai and I see normal Thai couples all over the place.  If you're in Pattaya, you will see something completely different.  Believe what you want, doesn't really matter to me.

[theblether]

I can't really be bothered getting into this topic. I will say one thing. Age compatibility is key to the love element. 

 

I know plenty of couples who are more or less the same age and almost all have loving relationships as far as I can see. I know many young couples raising families. Of course, you still see some relationship breakdowns, it's real life. 

 

I see plenty of older couples, that met later in life, who do very well. If you genuinely are seeking a loving long term relationship then age compatability is a foundational key to success. This is the same all over the world. 

 

One aspect of Thai culture ( not exclusive to Thailand, China etc is the same ) is the "leftover effect." It used to be the case that to be unmarried by 25/26 rendered women as maidens. 

 

That figure has crept up to around 30 these days, certainly no more than early 30's. 

 

Keep your eye open and you'll see bizarrely rapid marriages occur at that age bracket. In effect, arranged marriages are common where literally families trade adult "kids." 

 

The relevance to farangs is that Thai women in their twenties are still in Princess mode. By mid 30's they are firmly in reality mode. 

 

Thais don't like seeing 60 year old Thai men with twenty-somethings, but they don't blink when she is thirty-odd. They know the score with both set ups. 

 

Hence they detest old farangs taking up with young women but the underlying mockery is that these same farangs hoover up the lowest class women in the country. 

 

And that's a brutal truth that escapes many farangs. They are laughing at you. 

 

Thais ain't stupid. They are extremely socially aware ( please tell me you knew that ) and they spot compatibility ( or lack of ) a mile off. 

 

And age is a fundamental part of that equation. 

 

Let me get some popcorn cos no doubt this thread will descend into "my girl is different" bs. 

 

No, she's not. She's embarrassed to be seen with you. And if you could speak Thai you'd hear the running commentary. 

 

One of the funniest I witnessed was an old galoot doing his best Cheshire cat impression as the Thai girls ridiculed his lady for going with an old man. Her simple one-liner was "I need the money" which was met with hilarity - and the old galoot never knew he was the butt of the joke. 

 

I know some of you will crack up at this comment. Large age differences up yk age 30 are recipes for disaster. After 30 the rules and chances of success change. 

 

Until you meet the Wivked Witches that can't believe you are stupid enough to date them and they treat you accordingly. 

 

Aye, dating - its a hard life. 

[Hummin]

49 minutes ago, Alpha84 said:

Something that's been on my mind a lot is all the negative stereotypes Iv'e read in AN forum posts surrounding relationships with Thai women. I wonder how true they are or if there are a lot of misconceptions and false statements being made. 

One exhausting stereotype I read over and over again is the idea that Thai women are only interested in Western men for financial security. While I know that money can be a factor in any relationship, is it fair to paint so many Thai women with the same brush? They can't all be looking for just one superficial thing. 
 

I've also seen firsthand a few long-term relationships between foreigners and Thai women that seem to be based on genuine love and mutual respect, but I can't be sure because it's very easy for people to act a certain way in public amongst groups of friends versus when they are alone together in private. 

Another stereotype is that Thai women are submissive or passive in relationships. Hard to imagine that is true across the board either. Thai society appears fairly diverse so I assume that so are many of the Thai women as well. I'll bet there are plenty who are assertive, independent, and equal partners in their relationships. In fact, I've also read stereotypes about Thai women saying the complete opposite and that they're aggressive, sometimes even violent, and emotionally immature and unstable. So I've seen two stereotypes that contradict each other. I assume both have some degree of accuracy, but I'm wondering which is the more dominant stereotype in daily reality. 

Local media doesn't help though with its added amount of sensationalized stories often reinforcing these stereotypes. It's like they're wanting to always paint this one-dimensional picture of Thai women that probably doesn't do justice to the real complexities of an actual romantic relationship.

What really matters in any relationship I think are things like shared interests, an emotional connection, and a degree of mutual understanding and willingness to compromise at times when needed. Those are the things that make a relationship work it seems, regardless of cultural backgrounds.

I wonder if others have encountered these stereotypes in their own real life experiences or if in reality it's something completely different in the real world than what I've observed so heavily written about here online. 
 

 

 

 

Those who have something positive to say about Thai women is:

 

Either stupid or Blind

 

Or both in combination

 

 

[NativeBob]

1 minute ago, Hummin said:

Those who have something positive to say about Thai women is:

 

Either stupid or Blind

 

Or both in combination

 

 

just wrong expectations and disappointment later on

[RSD1]

1 minute ago, Berkshire said:

Funny you should mention "baseless assumptions."  Isn't that what you're all about?  I'm in Chiang Mai and I see normal Thai couples all over the place.  If you're in Pattaya, you will see something completely different.  Believe what you want, doesn't really matter to me.

You seem obsessed with Pattaya. Maybe you go move there.

 

But more on topic, I don't know what seeing normal Thai couples all over the place means. I assume that means you have no deep firsthand knowledge of local Thai relationships and are basing your assumption that they are happy based on how you see them walking around together at one of the big Central malls in CM on the weekend.

 

So, this is going nowhere. I thought there might be some basis for your statements. Seemingly not. 

[theblether]

4 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

Funny you should mention "baseless assumptions."  Isn't that what you're all about?  I'm in Chiang Mai and I see normal Thai couples all over the place.  If you're in Pattaya, you will see something completely different.  Believe what you want, doesn't really matter to me.

 

I agree re regular couples. Far too many farangs genuinely believe the "Thai man no good" trope. Its an article of faith among a certain brigade of idiots. 

 

The notion that their lady was REJECTED by Thai society never occurs to them. 

 

The competition for good Thai women is astronomical. And there are millions of success stories. 

[RSD1]

8 minutes ago, theblether said:

I can't really be bothered getting into this topic

Nearly a 500 word reply. Can't imagine what it's like when your really bothered about a topic. Incoming wall of text. 

[theblether]

8 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

Nearly a 500 word reply. Can't imagine what it's like when your really bothered about a topic. Incoming wall of text. 

 

You clearly don't know me. That was a short answer. 

[RSD1]

1 minute ago, theblether said:

 

You clearly don't know me. That was a short answer. 

I guess I don't master. I will try and be more observant in the future. Your humble grasshopper. 

[Gecko123]

Thai women are not submissive. I don't know how that myth got started. Only thing I can think of is it comes from the "up to you" rejoinder you often hear from bar girls. Most of the time that's said out of apathy or in an effort to feign compatibility. If you want to understand the true nature and temperament of Thai women observe how they behave in their relationships with Thai men. 

[Bday Prang]

So the essence of this thread, is that  OP has heard some reports that some Thai women are good and some Thai women are bad,  and that some Thai / Western couples are happy and some are unhappy.   

         He has "seen first hand"  some successful relationship's but feels the couples may have been merely "acting" for the benefit of others and has heard anecdotal evidence of others not so happy in their relationships.

         Remaining confused, he has decided to seek confirmation of all this on here    That seems a bit weird to me, am I missing something?

[simon43]

11 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

Nearly a 500 word reply. Can't imagine what it's like when your really bothered about a topic. Incoming wall of text. 

Wall of text?  I see plenty of paragraphs, correct punctuation etc, very easy to read.

 

Perhaps you are showing up your own lack of education or ability to read English text 🙂

[Bday Prang]

21 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Those who have something positive to say about Thai women is:

 

Either stupid or Blind

 

Or both in combination

 

 

I think that's a little unfair

[theblether]

Anyway, it's interesting that so many farangs are that gullible they don't realise they are consorting with hated village rejects. 

 

Then they wonder why their relationship fails. 

 

Then again, a lot of these clowns are effectively adult special needs children. It's not a wife they are after, it's a carer that will drop her nickers. 

 

The level of self-delusion is appalling. 

[RSD1]

1 minute ago, simon43 said:

Perhaps you are showing up your own lack of education or ability to read English text 🙂

Oh wow, you've really nailed it. How did you become so insightful? That's definitely something I deeply struggle with!

[theblether]

4 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

I guess I don't master. I will try and be more observant in the future. Your humble grasshopper. 

 

Will you please stop posting digital litter. Are you that lonely? 

[RSD1]

Just now, theblether said:

 

Will you please stop posting digital litter. Are you that lonely? 

Digital litter. Not bad. Gave me a giggle.
 

How about another 500 word essay from you that I can't even be arsed to read because it starts out like a slow toilet leak. 
 

Lonely? In Thailand? Is that even possible? Would take too much effort, I can't be bothered. 

[theblether]

6 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Thai women are not submissive. I don't know how that myth got started. Only thing I can think of is it comes from the "up to you" rejoinder you often hear from bar girls. Most of the time that's said out of apathy or in an effort to feign compatibility. If you want to understand the true nature and temperament of Thai women observe how they behave in their relationships with Thai men. 

 

But "Thai man no good!!!" 

 

Any farang that genuinely believes that should just make their way to the airport and eff off. 

 

No one knows Thai women better than Thai men. 

[RSD1]

1 minute ago, theblether said:

 

But "Thai man no good!!!" 

 

Any farang that genuinely believes that should just make their way to the airport and eff off. 

 

No one knows Thai women better than Thai men. 

How many Thai men are you friends with that act like well adjusted, mature adults? 

[theblether]

1 minute ago, RSD1 said:

Digital litter. Not bad. Gave me a giggle.
 

How about another 500 word essay from you that I can't even be arsed to read because it starts out like a slow toilet leak. 
 

Lonely? In Thailand? Is that even possible? Would take too much effort, I can't be bothered. 

 

Dunning-Kruger strikes again. 

[RSD1]

3 minutes ago, theblether said:

But "Thai man no good!!!"

You do that really well. Must be the decades of experience you've had talking with bar girls. 
 

 

 

Edited July 1 by RSD1

[Gecko123]

Just now, RSD1 said:

How many Thai men are you friends with that act like well adjusted, mature adults? 

Dozens and dozens and dozens, knucklehead.

[Bday Prang]

Just now, RSD1 said:

How many Thai men are you friends with that act like well adjusted, mature adults? 

And how capable is he of discussing the intricacies of the female Thai psyche with them