Those who fell for marriage, how do you cope knowing you've ruined your life?

[billd766]

6 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

BS. I never loved my father. He was a rotten father.

I loved both my Mum and my Dad, and both were great parents to me.

 

The sad thing for me is that my Dad died the year before I joined the RAF, so he never got to see me in uniform.

[thaibeachlovers]

11 minutes ago, billd766 said:

I loved both my Mum and my Dad, and both were great parents to me.

 

The sad thing for me is that my Dad died the year before I joined the RAF, so he never got to see me in uniform.

I always wanted parents that loved me. It upsets me when I see kids that take their parents for granted.

[connda]

One man's opiate is another man's poison.  

Those of us on the other side may wonder how loneliness and and a lack of compassionate bonding works for those of you who choose to remain unmarried.  Sounds like a cynical and lonely existence.

[newbee2022]

On 10/27/2024 at 7:20 PM, Hummin said:

I also believe people can be happy single, but what I often se, and especially men aged 50 and above, they do not live an healthy life, and certainly have a hard time to socialize with people in healthy relationships, and keeps friends who always complain about their wife or partner close for some reasons. 

Men over 60, never married, seem to turn into grumpy, lonely, cynical, sarcastic, unfriendly species. Never had the (most times) happy and fulfilling experience with children make them jealous to other working relationships. That there is not always a rose garden but sometimes hards rocks to overcome it's well known by those who are married since decades 

[Bruce Aussie Chiang Mai]

On 10/27/2024 at 7:16 PM, thesetat2013 said:

Every marriage has its ups and downs. You can not be happy all the time. There are concessions to make to appease other members in the home. If you make a list of the good and bad.. and the bad outweighs the good. It is time to leave. But for most who are married.. The ups are more than the downs. It is better with someone who loves and cares about you. Better than holding the beer in your hand to drown out your depression or to force yourself to not feel bad. 

Many of us have good marriages, with wives who care about us and not money. We are lucky, we have "6 good friends who are all very happy with good caring Thai wives 

Feel sorry for the bar flies, who think they are happy and drown there sorrows. 

But everyone to their own.

Many people are happy paying bar girls for entertainment. Hopefully condoms are worn.  Keep believing you handsum men.😀😀😀

[biggles45]

Not yet another pointless topic solely designed to get a response and generate traffic. 

[scubascuba3]

1 hour ago, newbee2022 said:

Men over 60, never married, seem to turn into grumpy, lonely, cynical, sarcastic, unfriendly species. Never had the (most times) happy and fulfilling experience with children make them jealous to other working relationships. That there is not always a rose garden but sometimes hards rocks to overcome it's well known by those who are married since decades 

Who new, married men aren't grumpy 😆

[newbee2022]

41 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Who new, married men aren't grumpy 😆

New men??? Or newly married? Or remarried once or twice or more? The more the less grumpy?

[save the frogs]

5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

My parents put me off the idea of having children. If not having children why get married?

I got married because I mistakenly thought I'd never have to search the bars again. I wuz a fool.

most women will demand marriage for security. 

[save the frogs]

3 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

Who new, married men aren't grumpy 😆

depends what type of marriage.

it's better to stay single than be in a "bad" marriage. 

ideally, you want your wife to be your best friend. but often, men end up with a manager/boss in the house. 

 

[Hummin]

4 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

Who new, married men aren't grumpy 😆

Those who are stuck in a negative pattern, be it single or married, I guess the same if they do not have resources or will to do something about it! 

 

It is all about will and resources to make changes if something doesn't work or is not satisfying.

[NedR69]

Work? Work?  WTF would I want to do that for!  Gotta be from one of the countless bitter, angry expats that hang out in places that have a pool table and their fav restaurants include the words “…& Bar”. 

 

 

[Keeps]

I've been happily married for five years. Sad thing is, I've been married for ten years....

[save the frogs]

1 hour ago, Keeps said:

I've been happily married for five years. Sad thing is, I've been married for ten years....

Again though, that's based on the presupposition that human beings are supposed to be perpetually happy. 

 

Life is life, the good, the bad, and the ugly is all part of it.

 

Sometimes marriages are crucibles. And maybe that's what you need right now. 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, connda said:

One man's opiate is another man's poison.  

Those of us on the other side may wonder how loneliness and and a lack of compassionate bonding works for those of you who choose to remain unmarried.  Sounds like a cynical and lonely existence.

Lonely yes- explains why I spend so much time on AN.

 

Cynical- marriage did more to make me cynical about women, love and marriage than any amount of not "bonding".

 

As for companionship, a dog would be more of a companion than the two women I lived with after the first year. A dog never stops unconditionally loving the one that feeds it, unlike women.

 

Positives about being alone-

I never have to compromise for her

No chance of an "accidental" pregnancy

more money for myself

not having to put up with tantrums, and periods of resentful silence

I can be as un PC as I want

I can leave the seat up

I don't have to shave

 

Many, many more.

 

[thaibeachlovers]

9 hours ago, save the frogs said:

Again though, that's based on the presupposition that human beings are supposed to be perpetually happy. 

 

Life is life, the good, the bad, and the ugly is all part of it.

 

Sometimes marriages are crucibles. And maybe that's what you need right now. 

 

For 50 % of us marriage is a bad deal.

Would anyone invest money in a deal knowing up front 50% likely to lose everything?

[thaibeachlovers]

9 hours ago, save the frogs said:

Again though, that's based on the presupposition that human beings are supposed to be perpetually happy. 

 

Life is life, the good, the bad, and the ugly is all part of it.

 

Sometimes marriages are crucibles. And maybe that's what you need right now. 

 

I was happier overall when not in a realationship than when in one after the first year.

Unlike some on here, some of us don't have to have another person in our lives to be fulfilled.

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, newbee2022 said:

Men over 60, never married, seem to turn into grumpy, lonely, cynical, sarcastic, unfriendly species. Never had the (most times) happy and fulfilling experience with children make them jealous to other working relationships. That there is not always a rose garden but sometimes hards rocks to overcome it's well known by those who are married since decades 

 

I lived with 2 pre teen children for some years, and I do not look back on that experience with affection.

[thaibeachlovers]

10 hours ago, NedR69 said:

Work? Work?  WTF would I want to do that for!  Gotta be from one of the countless bitter, angry expats that hang out in places that have a pool table and their fav restaurants include the words “…& Bar”. 

 

 

If that makes them content who are you to criticize them for what they do when retired?

[thaibeachlovers]

13 hours ago, save the frogs said:

depends what type of marriage.

it's better to stay single than be in a "bad" marriage. 

ideally, you want your wife to be your best friend. but often, men end up with a manager/boss in the house. 

 

My first time was with someone that wanted to be the boss.

Second time was with someone that only wanted my money. She hid it well for the year we lived together. Waited till we were married. Apparently never considered I might divorce her.

[scubascuba3]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

For 50 % of us marriage is a bad deal.

Would anyone invest money in a deal knowing up front 50% likely to lose everything?

Yes it's a stupid risk to take, if it was financials 50/50 then it's worth taking it

Edited October 29 by scubascuba3

[save the frogs]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

As for companionship, a dog would be more of a companion than the two women I lived with after the first year. A dog never stops unconditionally loving the one that feeds it, unlike women.

 

Yeah, dogs are amazing.

We need human companionship, but if the woman gives you grief then it's better to just stay with your dog. 

The lesser of two evils is to stay alone rather than in a bad relationship.

But being alone is hard. Let's face it.

Ideally, we are all looking for that soul-mate who is our lover and best friend. 

But a lot of people never find it. 

Sad stuff. 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

4 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

 

Yeah, dogs are amazing.

We need human companionship, but if the woman gives you grief then it's better to just stay with your dog. 

The lesser of two evils is to stay alone rather than in a bad relationship.

But being alone is hard. Let's face it.

Ideally, we are all looking for that soul-mate who is our lover and best friend. 

But a lot of people never find it. 

Sad stuff. 

 

I've been in a relationship for only 10 years of my long adult life, so being alone is my normal.

It wasn't sad though. I did things and went places that no married person ever could have. Given my actual relationships, being single was better.

It's only sad in my old life that women having stolen acquired most of my wealth for themselves leaves me with a less than acceptable life.

 

In one of the better years of my life when I was living in Antarctica, the guys ( we had no females on base ) that had girlfriends or wives back home did it hard because they were missing their squeeze, but I, having no attachments back home, was able to enjoy living there to the max, and I did.

[newbee2022]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

 

I lived with 2 pre teen children for some years, and I do not look back on that experience with affection.

...and you've been the biological father?

[save the frogs]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I've been in a relationship for only 10 years of my long adult life, so being alone is my normal.

Being alone has a lot of benefits.  You don't need to compromise and are free to do whatever you want.

How much female company do we really need? Do we really need a woman next to us 24/7?

 

[Keeps]

7 hours ago, save the frogs said:

Being alone has a lot of benefits.  You don't need to compromise and are free to do whatever you want.

How much female company do we really need? Do we really need a woman next to us 24/7?

 

24 minutes every 7 days is probably quite enough.

[ChiangmaiMax]

Happelly married tor over 20 years with my Chiangmai wife and she didn't work in a bar or some parlor hope to stay together for the rest of my life.