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Joseph Conrad and my Heart of Darkness: Otherwise...Why would we be here?


GammaGlobulin

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Dear Folks,

 

Have you ever wondered why we end up, washed up, and washed ashore, in these foreign lands?

 

Maybe it's not the same for you as it is for me.

 

If you really want to know, as Holden Caulfield once opined, why we end up here in these faraway lands, I can only share with you my own personal reasons and motivation for being here in Thailand.

 

When I was a mere 13, I began reading Joseph Conrad, an author who wrote about one white man an many natives in foreign lands. He also wrote about typhoons, and great evil.

 

I became enthralled by the possibility of experiencing fantastic adventures in exotic lands, replete with inhabitants of darker shades.

 

In fact, I read, and re-read, so much of Joseph Conrad that...now....

Here I am.

 

After first cracking my first Conrad, my fate became..... nothing more than a fete accompli.

 

I even went to sea, just to see what that might be like, and to see what I could see.

 

In my case, I now know that I was meant to be here where I am; and this was my destiny, beginning the moment I read the first word of one of Conrad's stories.

 

I am only saying that I do know why I am here.

But, what is your excuse?

 

Also, what is your favorite Conrad story?

 

I never much liked Heart of Darkness.

 

I think one of my favorite stores of his was Typhoon.

 

I have even seen quite a few typhoons in my life.

But they have only very rarely measured up to Conrad's description of them.

 

By the way, I guess most know that Conrad was not considered to be a native-English writer.

Given this, how beautifully did he write!!!!

 

image.png.2f7f3ed842dd6ca59c0ae05482a5d937.png

 

You can read the full novella on Gutenberg, if you have a mind to.....

Here:   https://www.gutenberg.org/files/1142/1142-h/1142-h.htm

 

I have always loved Asia for just being Asia.

 

And you?

If you do not feel the same....

 

Then why are you here, anyway???

 

For the Farang Condo Compounds???

 

Those are not for me.

 

Wish I could return to Conrad's world.

 

In my dreams.

 

Best regards,

Gamma

 

Note4:  Is it Sunday?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I am wondering if the OP's spelling, fete accompli, is a deliberate malapropism. Or Spoonerism.

 

Thailand was the best choice for me in retirement, economically.

 

My personal "Heart of Darkness" was being appointed team leader of a McKinsey  cost -cutting program.

 

6 months of my life utterly wasted.

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I saw no reason to be limited geographically by the accident of my birth, so early on in life I decided I was going to test out a host of countries in which to live. One needs at least two years in a land to develop at least a minimal understanding of it, so I divided the average lifespan by 2 and figured I'd get to experience at least that many countries. A few became more interesting than I expected, so I broke the 2 year rule.

 

I was also never religious, at least after about age 12, but the various widely subscribed superstitions of humanity made me curious. Why did some superstitions catch on so well in some places, and fail in others? What in each culture made something click, whereas it would fail miserably in another? Is existence fate, or something where humans have 'dominion' and a bit of control? How might that be reflected in a land's development? (That's another whole thread for you, Gamma.......no way Francis Bacon could have been anything but from a Judao-Christian background.)

 

I've had two careers, and both allowed for extensive travel and a peripatetic lifestyle...a 'diplomat' and a hedge fund manager. The first sent me lots of places, the second became much more flexible as the internet took hold.

 

In terms of the favored national superstition, I've lived in lands where folks embraced Jesus, Yahweh, Buddha (and its associated religions like Shintoism and Daoism), Allah and Shiva/Krishna and the other 10 million deities of that belief system.

 

I developed my own way of describing 'morality' in ways particular to each faith. For example, in Buddhism and probably Hinduism, if a person does something wrong, and nobody else knows you did it, then it's not wrong. In Islam, if one does something wrong and isn't instantly struck down by Allah, it musn't really have been wrong. In Christianity, if one does something wrong, punishment will be meted out after death, when one learns that it really was wrong, although most rules are pretty clear. In Irish Catholicism, one is punished even if they don't do anything wrong, just to remind them they can never get away with anything. In Judaism, what does this Yahweh guy know about wrong?

 

I've now settled in Thailand, where the ostensible faith is Buddhism, but it's really that old fashioned paganism with a thin coating of Buddhism spread on top, like marmalade on toast. It IS, contrary to what foreigners who embrace it say, a religion every bit the same as the other few thousand belief systems humans have concocted to make sense of existence and provide hope for a better and endless future. At the retail level, every religion is the same: false hope.

 

I have found that the most honest faith is Hinduism. Ideally an adherent eschews all worldly goods and needs, but in my experience the majority of believers want first to experience great wealth, admiration, and endless babes "just so Krishna knows I'm sincere when I say I don't want these things, as how would I really know unless I've had them?"

 

Excuse me, Gamma, for describing my own journey in terms of faith (in reality I'm just endlessly curious about everything, which is why I'm now here), but the thing that baffles me the most is the concept of good and evil as reflected in the Christian god and Satan. Growing up in the US, I was taught it is that ultimate bad guy Satan who makes us do things like lie, cheat, steal and engage in infidelity or maybe even put our appendages in forbidden places (I never have put it anywhere except where nature intended). Oddly, all of those are minor peccadilloes compared to tsunamis, earthquakes, child cancer and other maladies inflicted by an "all loving" and omnipotent deity. A marital infidelity can get one eternal damnation, but killing 400,000 humans via a tsunami is either a "mysterious way" or part of a "Master Plan". The Christian god is a great job if one could land it. Maybe next life, eh?

 

My final comment about religion is that most of them place great importance on female virginity. This is something I really don't get, as I remember the few times when I dallied with virgins, back when I was one myself or shortly thereafter, and I do no recall them as particularly entertaining. I'm happy to leave virgins to the pious; give me a woman who knows what she likes from experience! Now THAT is heaven/Nirvana. Oh, and welcome to Thailand!

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11 hours ago, save the frogs said:

who was in power when you left the US? republican or democrat? there's a clue right there.

 

yes, also conrad.

 

and don't forget Dr. Seuss!

image.jpeg.08d8fea9f42dcbeca50de4f968cb3fc7.jpeg

 

 

Carter of course.

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6 hours ago, GammaGlobulin said:

 

Carter of course.

 

When Carter was elected, I promised to leave the country.

I did not delay.

When I reached my new country...

Almost everyone wanted to talk about peanuts.

 

Fortunately, at that time, I was too young to have spent much time thinking about a sex change.

 

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How can I break this to you, gently Gamma Goblin, I know it was a long time ago, and you were an impressionable teenage boy - then again you really don't convey any more sophistication as you revel in your dotage(!): "Heart of Darkness" was about Belgian ruled Central Africa, the Congo, well over a hundred years ago.

 

Thailand is (several) continents away, and cleaves to an utterly different culture, religious and political tradition. I really cannot imagine any similarity, except perhaps superficially Sukhumvit Soi 4 in the early hours!

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